Chapter 3!!!!!!
Right now I can think of something I own!! My computer, without this I wouldn't be able
to post or do anything at all. Long live Linux (I think they are the ones who created the first computer ever,
and its size was the size of my living room). Ma'am Meyer owns every single thing
related to Twilight but I bribed her lawyer and I' m now on her will too!!!
I must have spent the night in Edward's arms. And according to the light shining in through my window, I had been here half the day too.
Groggily, I lifted my head off the pillow—aka, Edward's chest. He was slowly stroking my hair, no doubt trying to calm me. His tries were in vain. Nothing could calm me. Not now, if ever.
I struggled to get closer to him, never wanting to let him go. Or have him let go of me. He was my rock. My comfort. He was there with me through everything. And I loved him even more for that.
"Bella, love, please end my sorrow. Why are you crying? It's breaking my heart seeing you in such pain." I peeked up at him, and felt horrible. He must have stayed up most of the night trying to get me to stop crying. His eye lids were drooping slightly, and under those glorious green orbs of his were purple bruises, both of which showing off how tiered he was. It was my entire fault, too.
But what really caught me were his words.
They were like a knife to the heart. With each word, it seemed that knife was dug in deeper and deeper. His concern for me was never ending. He worried constantly, and now that I was in emotional pain, he was slightly more protective.
But, to end this I could have yelled at him. I could have told him right then and there that I wasn't really in love with him. I could have stopped all that pain and spare him. Make sure that he wouldn't feel too much pain if I didn't tell him about the engagement and Jacob. He wouldn't have to worry about it. It would all just fall on my shoulders, and he wouldn't have to carry any of my burdens along with the ones that he was already carrying.
But I didn't. I didn't yell. I didn't scream. I didn't tell him that I didn't love him and that I never did. No, I was much too selfish for that to happen. I needed him. He was my rock. I craved him.
So, I told him what was happening. But I could just barely get the words out. The tears streaming down my face made it slightly difficult. Was this a sign telling me that I shouldn't tell him?
No. I had to tell him. He would find out eventually, and then he would be furious. And I loved him. I was too selfish.
"My father wants me to get married." His face brightened at this, but he also looked more than just confused.
"Then what's the problem? We can tell your father about us. It's perfect timing!" He seemed so happy. I felt horrible for crushing his dreams. I was going to break his heart, when I should be the one protecting it.
"Edward." I had to stop him before he got ahead of himself. Most of my tears had dried up by now, and no more were flowing down my cheeks. I think that I was either out of tears, or I was finally coming to terms for what was happening, but one or two tears still flowed down my cheeks. "He's already chosen who I'm going to marry." I could see the light fade from his eye quickly. My heart broke just a little bit more. "And, it's not you." The second I spoke, I could see tears starting to form in his eyes. He clutched me closer to him.
"No," he whispered. "I refuse to lose you. Not after I just got you. Nobody else is going to take away my love. Bella, I can't lose you! I've loved you for years, every second I've known you I wanted you to love me back. I've dreamed of it every night. I woke up yesterday morning, thinking it was all a dream, but when I saw you lying there, in my arms…I just…I don't know. I guess I never wanted you to leave."
He must have really been broke. Edward never cried. Not ever. I had only seen him cry once. It was after his first murder. He had come home nervous, and had avoided me the whole night. When I finally was able to track him down and corner him I demanded to know why he was avoiding me. We were only fifteen then. He had tears in his eyes when he explained what he had done. He had been surprised when I had wrapped my arms around him and told him that I didn't care and that he was still my best friend. He had returned my hug, but his tears were still running. I never understood why my father would want a fifteen year-old Edward to kill some man that he had never met.
"It's Jacob," I whispered to him.
Those two words froze him. Jacob and Edward had always hated each other. They competed, they fought, everything. They did anything to make the other mad.
"No." This time the words were more forceful. "You are not marrying that
Slime-ball. He's a pathetic excuse for a man and he in no way or form deserves you."
"I don't want him, Edward. You're the only man that I've ever wanted. Now we'll never be together. Fait doesn't love us. The second we tell each other our true feelings, it rips us apart."
"Fait doesn't hate us. It's just putting obstacles in our way to see if we really love each other. And I do. I truly do love you, Bella. Never doubt that." His face turned calculating. "When is the wedding?"
"It's set for about four months from now."
"Give me time, my Bella." He continued when I gave him a questioning look. "Give me time to figure out what I'm going to do. I refuse to let you marry him, and yet you have no choice. But, if you play along, pretend that you can't wait for the wedding; I'll have just enough time to devise a plan for us. It only has one drawback."
"Drawback?" I wasn't so sure of this plan already, and yet, there was more and consequences?
His plan had given him a hopeful glow. The glow went down just the slightest bit when he told me. "It means that we have to be slightly avoidant."
"Avoidant?" It seems like the only words that I can speak is the last words he said and speak it as a question.
"We can't be as close as we are right now." I looked down at our bodies that were snuggled close to each other and our arms wrapped around each other. "That's not what I meant. Mostly. I mean that we can't see each other in private anymore. People will start suspecting things, and if my plan is going to be pulled off, we can't risk any suspicion. But I swear, the second I have a plan, I will take you away from him."
I smiled and nodded at him. He really is here for the long haul. He does really love me. I don't know anyone else who would do this for me. For us. Jacob would run away, or not be smart enough to think that maybe he could come up with a plan to save us. Edward did that. And I love him not Jacob.
"Now, we have about three hours here by ourselves, what do you say we have some fun before me have to stop momentarily?"
I loved the way it was 'momentarily.' This is my Edward, and we had a good-bye to say. With a small giggle—but not a very convincing one—I gave into him and kissed him with all my might.
One day, this won't be a secret. This will seem as natural as it is.
That night, it was the last time Edward and I made love. It wasn't like our first time, or the morning after that. It was slower, sweeter, and—somehow—more passionate. We made it memorable, and it was the perfect "I Will Always Love You," sex.
Lying in his arms after words, I found it extremely difficult to fall asleep. Not just because of the day's events. They only held a small portion of why I couldn't find sleep. I was wondering what it would take to leave all this behind. The Mafia, the engagement. Just so it's me and Edward. The two of us and our happiness. I wondered if it would ever be like that.
Two Months Later:
I rushed to Edward's room, already knowing that he would be there. He had spent a lot of his time there lately. With the wedding coming up and only being about a month and a half away, he was driving himself insane trying to come up with an out for both of us.
I burst through his door, shocking him enough to make him jump and land not-so-gracefully on the floor. "Bella! What are you doing here? The wedding is in a few weeks. You can't be here. Jacob will be mad, and he's already enough of an ass for me to handle." It was true. Ever since Jacob had found out that his dreams were coming true and that he would finally be able to marry me and call me as his own, he had been an even bigger ass then usual. He followed me everywhere and got pisses off whenever I talked to another man. He was down right furious whenever that man was Edward. He was not only clingy, but he was a jerk, a control-freak, and to be frank, like Edward, an ass.
Edward started pacing across the room. He also started rambling about the plan not being done yet, but I wasn't paying attention. I was too nervous about what I was going to tell him. How would he take it? Would he leave me like any sane man would have done months ago? Swallowing my fear I forced myself to talk.
"Edward, this is important, and it really can't wait."
He automatically stopped walking. "What, Bella? Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick? Are you okay?"
I swallowed nervously at his concern. I could feel my lunch starting to come up. Holding it off, I fidgeted with the hem on my shirt. "I'm alright, in a sense."
"In a sense? Bella, what do you mean?" Concern and a slight bit of fear were etched into the lines on his face.
This is it. You have to tell him now. Do it! So, I just spat it out. That way, maybe he wouldn't freak out as much as he might if I just stalled. "Edward, I'm pregnant!" (AN: You have no idea how close I was to stopping here. I swear, if I didn't love you guys so much, I would have. So you should really thank me.)
He didn't seem to understand at first. His face went pale and his eyes bugged out, but he still stuttered out, "W-what?"
I took a step towards him and took one of his hands in both of mine. "Edward, I'm pregnant. I'm going to be having a baby in a few months."
Ever second he was quiet; I became more and more nervous. He didn't want me. He didn't want the baby. I hung my head. I should have never told him. I should have just run away or something. I would have thought of something. I have about another month or two before I really begin showing. I could've done something.
"Bella." Here it comes. He's going to tell me that I have no business in his life anymore. That the words he had said those few months ago. I tensed, waiting for it. "I'm going to be a father…" I looked up at him. That voice didn't sound mad, angry, or disappointed. It sound…happy?
Looking at his face, I watched as I giant crooked smile appeared on over half his face. His eyes lit up like the never had before. "I'm going to be a father!" He said it only slightly louder, but his message got through.
He was excited. Actually, he looked down-right overjoyed. His eyes had a new sparkle to them. His mouth—which had been in a constant frown for the past month—was in a wide smile. He had a new glow around him.
"I knew you looked different. You've had this—I don't know—light surrounding you for the past month. I thought you wee growing to like the idea of being married to Jacob, but now that I know that you're…wow. Isabella Marie Swan, you have just made me the happiest man alive."
I cracked a smile just as big as his—if not bigger. "Yes, Edward. You're going to be a daddy."
Those words just seemed to make him happier. "I would shout it from the skies and out to the world if I didn't know that it would get me and our baby killed. But I do love you, Bella. Now, even more with our expecting. A baby. Wow, a baby!" Suddenly, his face paled. His expressions changed to one of almost horror.
"Edward?" His change of mood sent me into a near frenzy. Was he changing his mind? Was I right and he really didn't want the baby? Or me?
"How far along are you?" His words shocked me, but I was still able to respond.
"Isn't it obvious? You were my first, and my last. So it's been about two months." Why was he acting like this? What was wrong?
"We have to leave. Soon."
I stared at him, wide-eyed. "What?" He wasn't making any sense. Leave? What did he mean by leave?
"Bella, you're going to start showing soon. You're also supposed to be getting married in just over a month. If anybody finds out that you're pregnant, our baby may never see its first day." His face looked tortured. As if the thought alone brought him physical pain.
He really was perfect. He didn't even know I was pregnant with his child for five minutes before he started worrying and fretting about after it. "We'll leave before. I won't start showing for about another month or so. We can come up with a plan to leave before I get too big. And then…maybe…" I suddenly became shy. He had mentioned it before, but was he ready to take that step like I was. Only one way to find out.
"Maybe we can get married." My head spun to look at him. I was about to say the exact same thing. I felt my heart rate pick up. He wanted it too! Suddenly, Edward got down in front of me. He kneeled on the floor, and took one of my hands in both of his. "Isabella Swan. I have loved for as long as I can remember. And I want the chance to love you as long as I can. Will you give me the honor of becoming my wife? Once this is all over."
I was too choked up to really say anything. He wanted me, the baby, and our love. He was willing to spend forever with me. For the first time since I can remember, tears of joy and not sorrow flowed down my cheeks in a steady stream.
I nodded. "Yes," I whispered once I could clear my throat. "Yes, I will marry you Edward Masen!"
REVIEW!!!! Well that only if you want to =)