I was in the hospital again, this time not having any recollection whatsoever of how I got there but I had a pretty good idea why. I looked around me
Christian was sitting on a couch with a sleeping Lissa. I tried not to make eye contact with him but it didn't work, his eyes bore into mine.
"You have to stop doing this," He said quietly.
I turned my head and pretended I didn't hear him.
It's been six month since my precious Rose died.
Six horrendous months.
Six lifeless months.
Six fucking months.
In those six months I've overdosed on prescription pills twice and have gotten alcohol poisoning three times, four including this time.
"Lissa can't keep up with you, it's hurting her and you know it. You're just too selfish to care," Christian's voice floated over to me.
"Yeah, well it's not like I'm asking her to heal me," I answered, only hearing the words come out of my mouth.
"Just because you want to die doesn't mean you have to take her down with you," Christian said, displaying his past fire for the first time in months.
I didn't want to fight with him. I didn't want anything, only her.
"It's the only time I can hear her voice, see her face, remember her clearly," I told him, hating myself for my voice cracking, "It hurts so fucking much. I just want to be with her, can you blame me?" I asked him, turning my face to his and I saw that in that moment, Christian and I understood each other perfectly. I nodded to him and turned away, hoping I would fall asleep and see my Rose again.