Dear Paige's Diary

This is Arthur, writing on behalf of Paige who is ill in bed. She said I have to write down what's happening, so here goes, I hope I get it right...

I went to wake her up, as it was past noon and she still wasn't out of bed, and found her huddled under her covers, shaking and sweating.

"I don't feel well... I'm so cold..." she whispered, pulling the covers tighter around her. I frowned at her; she looked so warm, and placed a hand on her forehead. She was on fire.

"Here," I said, wrapping her in another blanket I'd pulled from her cupboard. "You stay right there, I'm going to get Gaius," Despite having two blankets over her, Paige was still shivering, shaking and insisting that she was cold. I freaked out then, she must be really, really ill if she was feeling cold, but was hot to the touch! I raced down to Gaius's chambers as fast as my legs would take me – I was convinced Paige was dying!

"What is it Sire?" Gaius asked as I crashed through his door, gasping and unable to breathe. I had to collapse in a chair and catch my breath before I answered.

"Paige... sick... hot but... says she's... cold..." I wheezed. I expected Gaius to jump up at once, to rush to my daughter's chambers and start treating her. Instead he stayed sat in his seat, and stayed examining some book.

"Ah, she has it too does she..." he said with a chuckle. (Chuckle? As far as I was concerned Paige could be dying, why was he chuckling?) "It's just the flu sire, she'll be over it in a few days... give her this and make sure she drinks plenty of water and has plenty of rest," he said, handing me a glass bottle of some strange green liquid. It looked putrid, there was no way Paige was going to drink that! (That she gets from me... I won't put anything in my mouth if I don't like the taste! I'd rather go hungry/thirsty/stay sick...)

"You know she won't drink this Gaius," I said, pocketing it. He chuckled again and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, it's a trait she gets from her father... " he said, eyes twinkling in my direction. "However if she wants to get better any time soon, she'll drink it. Tell her it's not as foul tasting as the tonic I give her for her stomach,"

"I still don't think she'll drink it, but I'll do what I can," I promised. Although there was no point to that promise, there was no way in hell that I was going to get Paige to drink that tonic. "Are you sure it's just the flu, you haven't even checked on her," How could he just say that Paige had the flu when he hadn't even looked at her! What if she had some deadly disease that was like the flu? Would she just die? Would she be in pain? Would I be able to help her or would I just have to stand aside and let her perish?

"Sire, I have been a physician longer than you have lived. I am certain she has the flu... everyone has it at the moment, even a few of your knights'. Paige will be fine," Gaius insisted. "If I thought that there was anything seriously wrong with Paige, I would attend to her, but I know it's just the flu! Now excuse me sire, I have a birth to attend to," Gaius pushed me out of his chambers in a hurried and frustrated fashion. Me! His King! I would have gotten annoyed at him, would have relieved him of his duties even, had it not been for the fact that he really did have a birth to attend to. (Guinevere's handmaiden was due to drop any day now... Guinevere has been very upset by it all. I guess it must still be hurting her, knowing she can't conceive a child.)

--

As suspected, Paige wouldn't even touch the bottle of green liquid.

"I'm not drinking that!" she cried, pushing it away before hiding under her covers. "That will make me feel worse!" I laughed at that. It probably would make her feel worse, at least at first. But in the long run it would do her good, so I persisted.

"Come on Paige, you'll feel better if you drink it... Gaius said you'll be ill for days if you don't," I begged, pulling the covers from over her head. I really didn't like the idea of her being ill for days... a few hours was long enough. I think I might have a heart attack if she stayed ill for days!

"I'll just have to be ill for days then!" she said, pulling the covers back over her head. Why does she have to get her moody stubbornness from me? Out of every trait she could have inherited from me, she had to inherit that!

"You'll miss training," I said, hoping to tempt her into drinking the green tonic. Paige loves training and hates to miss it! I was sure that would be enough to bring her round. After all it was what my father used to say to me when I refused Gaius's potions. And it almost always worked.

"Don't care... I'm not drinking that," she persisted. She was adamant that she was not going to drink the tonic.

"Please Paige, for me?" I begged, pulling the covers from over her head yet again. She glared at me and pulled them straight back over her head. Now that glare, the evil stare that goes straight through you, that she gets from her mother!

"No!" she said simply, her voice muffled by her pillow. I was a little insulted by that! After all, if she wouldn't drink it for me, her father, then who would she drink it for? And then it came to me, the man she had a little crush on from the day she arrived in Camelot! Merlin! (Another thing she seemed to get from me...)

"For Merlin?" I asked. She didn't answer straight away, she paused and considered it. For a fleeting moment, I thought she might actually drink the tonic and ease all my worries about her well being.

"...no..." she sounded unsure, I hoped that she might change her mind, but after another few seconds silence she repeated herself in a resolved and firm tone. "No!" Damn! I would have to think of another way to make her drink the tonic!

"Ok how about a deal," I suggested. She perked up when I said then, appeared from under the covers. Ah! A breakthrough!

"Deal?" she questioned sceptically. I nodded.

"Yes you drink this for me, and I'll do something for you," I said, holding out the little bottle of green liquid once again. Paige raised an eyebrow and studied my face for a few seconds before replying in the same sceptical tone.

"Like what?" she questioned.

"Anything you want," I promised. And she could have anything she wanted, as long as she put me out of my misery and drank the stupid tonic! I mean come on; she's 13 years old, what's the worst thing she could have wanted? (Oh boy, I should not have asked myself that!)

"Will you tell me what sex is?" She asked, eyes wide and innocent. I grimaced. Sex, she was asking me about sex? How did she even know about sex? ARGH! I blushed and quickly dismissed her queries.

"Anything apart from that,"

"No deal!" she said, rolling her eyes and pulling the covers over her head again. Damn! Back to square one.

"Who told you about sex?" I asked I curious to know who'd put such dirty thoughts into her innocent little mind!

"Merlin." She said simply, not bothering to reappear from under her covers. Merlin, that little... Argh, if it wasn't for the fact that he was so darn cute I'd have him thrown in the stocks!

"Little bugger," I said with a laugh. "Come on, there has to be something else you want," I was getting desperate. I wanted her to drink the damned tonic! She looked so darn pale, and she was trembling... it was horrible to see!

"I want to talk to Leon again," she said appearing from beneath her covers after a few moments thought. I frowned at her, a little taken aback by her words. Why did she want to see Leon? I thought she saw me as her father now? Was she having doubts about that? Or was it all a lie to break the enchantment? Or maybe was she just worried about betraying his memory?

"You father?" I asked, totally bewildered by her request. She rolled her eyes at me.

"No, that's you. I want to talk to Leon and my mother..." She trailed off slightly, sounded upset. For a few seconds there was just silence, but I could tell she was hurting. I didn't know what to do. Should I intervene and comfort her? Or was her grief for her parents private, something she wanted to feel alone – like when she visited their graves. No one was allowed to go with her when she went there. "Can Merlin do that?" She asked, breaking my train of thought. I jumped at the sound of her voice, but nodded, knowing that Merlin could.

"Yes... but only once, only for a few minutes..." After Morgause brought back my mother, I was desperate to see her again and again, but Merlin informed me that it was something that could only be done once, and would only last a few minutes. I wished that weren't true, I wanted to talk to my mother again and tell her I was sorry for not believing her words, that I was sorry for attacking my father and that I was sorry for believing she was fake, because I thought Morgause's magic to be evil, when really, it wasn't. At least that part of her magic wasn't...

"That's what I want," Paige insisted, stirring me from my memories. I started at her for a good long minute, not wanting to agree, but knowing I had to. I had promised after all. It wasn't that I didn't want her to see her parent's... not really. It's just... Leon was the man who raised her... I could never compare to that! What if she realised it when she spoke to him again?

"Ok," I promised with a nod of my head. "When you're better, we shall talk to Merlin about it," Thankfully that satisfied her, and she agreed to drink the tonic.

"Give me that tonic then," she said with a sad sigh, holding out her hand for it. I uncorked the bottle, wrinkled my nose and the disgusting smell, and handed it to her. "Does it smell?" she asked, sniffing it. Was she mad? I was far from it and the smell of it turned my stomach! What was she sniffing it for?

"Yes, terribly," I admitted, waving a hand in front of my nose to ward away the smell.

"I must be ill," she said, sniffing it harder. "I can't smell a thing! Ok, here goes," she continued, downing the tonic in one. She gagged almost at once, shivered quite violently and spat out her tongue. "Argh that was nasty!" she admitted, grabbing a glass of water to take away the taste of it as I laughed at her. My laughter however, was short-lived, when she paled even more so (quite a feat when she was already looking like death) and brought her hand to her mouth as her cheeks bulged.

"Paige? You okay?" I asked, concern and worry taking me over once again. She shook her head, but did not move her hand or open her mouth. "Are you going to be sick?" I asked. She nodded, and at once I started looking frantically around for a bucket or bowl... anything that she could be sick in. In the end I emptied her wash bowl out the window and took it to her. She vomited in it almost at once. Well, vomited might be the wrong word... all she brought up was liquid. Lots of it. She didn't stop until the liquid went a really weird green colour. I took the bowl from her before she had to lie back down again, paler than ever before, sweating and shaking more than seemed right. "I'm going to find Gaius!" I cried, grabbing the half-filled bowl as I rushed out the door.

"I'm fine..." Paige groaned as I dashed out the door. I ignored her and barged into Gaius's chambers. Gaius was gone, but when he returned a few minutes later, he assured me that the vomit colour was normal.

"She has brought up everything in her stomach, so this is all that's left... the natural acids that are in everyone's stomachs," he insisted, pouring the sick away without giving it a second glance. He seemed quite annoyed with me, but I was sure he was just tired.

"So she's going to be okay?"I asked. Gaius didn't look up.

"Yes Sire, now please, let me get back to work. It seems half the castle has the flu!" he said as he ushered me out of the room again.

Paige was asleep when I got back, so I simply collapsed into the chair at her side and watched her sleep.

--

When she awoke, I asked Paige why she wanted me to write in her diary for her. Apparently she is insisting that I write in here for her because she has never once missed writing a day in here. She also said I'm not allowed to read any of what's in it... as if I would! I mean I want to; I want to know what she has written about me, but I wouldn't.... Ok, maybe just a peak...

Well that was a mistake. She's only gone and gotten Merlin to protect the book. I tried to flick back a few pages and this pain just sort of shot up my fingers. Paige found that hilarious.

"Hahaha!" she screamed, holding onto her stomach because she was laughing so hard. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her. It wasn't funny for me that hurt!

"You are an evil child," I insisted. Paige only laughed harder.

"You tried to read my diary!" she said, waving a finger at me as if I'd been a naughty child. "And besides, I'm sure I get that from you!"

I didn't want to write that bit down but Paige insisted that it be written down. Then she started coughing. At first it was just a little cough, and then she had to sit up and hold her chest it was so bad. I of course, panicked and ran for Gaius, scared that she might be dying or something. Gaius wasn't best pleased with me, he promised me that she was fine and that it was just the flu. Yet he wouldn't even come up to her chambers to check on her! Paige finds my concern hilarious, well, she laughs every time I run to Gaius but I think she's secretly pleased about the whole thing. At least I hope she is. She's been asleep most of the day so I haven't been able to ask her.

--

Paige decided that she wanted something to eat when she woke up again.

"I don't think that's a good idea, you couldn't even hold down water a few hours ago," I insisted. I really wasn't in the mood to see Paige vomit yet again... and I don't think Gaius would appreciate another visit.

"But I'm hungry!" she whined. I had to admit she had a little more colour in her cheeks, but she still looked like death.

"But you aren't well!" I whined back in the same voice. Paige pouted and threw her pillow at me.

"Please Arthur, please!" she begged. Arthur? Arthur.... what happened to father?

"Oh, I'm Arthur now am I?" I teased. I wasn't really that bothered, I knew it would take her time to fully come round to calling me father all the time. After all she'd called Leon father for 13 years.

"Please father," she begged, fluttering her eyelashes. Another thing she'd inherited from her mother.... err father....

"Ok, ok... but just a bit of chicken, nothing fancy," I said. Anything too rich would probably come straight back up again. Paige beamed at me and nodded frantically.

"Ok," she said, seemingly pleased. I went to the kitchen and returned with a small piece of plain chicken. Paige ate it like she hadn't eaten in days, but I wouldn't let her eat any more. She protested, insisted she was still ravenous... then threw up once again. Lovely. I didn't panic so much this time, I knew it was coming. It's not that I didn't panic... I just didn't go rushing to Gaius. I'm sure he was thankful.

--

It's very late now, and Paige is sleeping. She seems shattered, despite the fact that that she has slept most of the day. I guess that's part of the illness. I was lying with her for a while, she was cuddled up to me, but it was so hot in the room (she's got about three blankets on the bed and the fire lit! Yet still she says she's cold!) that I had to get up. Paige doesn't want me to leave so I'm stuck in her until she wakes up again. Not that I mind, it's just that it is very hot in here. I've had to open the window a little and lean out of it.

I've just realised the sort of things that I've written in here... maybe I should rip these pages out and re-write them or something. I kind of got carried away and wrote without thinking.

Okay so I tried so rip out the pages, and I tried to cross out what I'd written but the book wouldn't let me. Damn Merlin... So I'm giving up and am going to try and sleep. I am shattered! Looking after sick people is tiring... poor Gaius, how does he do it at his age?

Night night.

Love Arthur xxx

P.S. PAIGE PLEASE JUST DISREGARD THIS ENTIRE ENTRY!!!!