ANGST WARNING!! This chapter is a bit dark, but I promise it is worth it!
Thanks to all reviewers. It truly does help my writing to know how I'm doing. What you like and what you don't.
Keep 'em coming! Keeps me honest!
Enjoy!
Chapter Six
Apart
Luke was driving for an hour before he realized that he was doing 90 in a 70. He had to pull over before he got in an accident. He pulled off into a roadside rest and put his car in park. He leaned back in his seat and let the crying start. He had been holding it off the entire time he was talking to Noah. He did not want to cry in front of him. How could he not cry? Noah didn't fight him, he didn't tell him to stay. He just accepted that he was leaving. Deep down he had hoped that Noah would tell him to stay. Petty, he knew that, but it was a test of sorts.
It was true. It was over.
He really didn't feel it until he closed the door on his car and started the engine. Maybe that old T.S Eliot poem was right.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
For as strong as a connection the he and Noah had, Luke thought that nothing could pull them apart. Perhaps that was where Luke was wrong. It was nothing on the outside that drove them apart, but the people in the middle of it. Luke and Noah were to blame for the end of their relationship and no one else. Not Mason. No one, but them.
Luke let out a long breath and he saw vapor leave his body. It wondered how long he had been sitting there. His once warm car had gone cold. When Luke had finally calmed down enough so that he could see without tears blocking his vision, he started his car and drove the rest of the way to Chicago. He checked into a hotel and decided to call his new landlord in the morning. By the time he got checked in and to his room it was nearly 10pm. He had never felt so tired in his life. He was tired everywhere; in his head, his body and his heart. He collapsed onto the bed, in his jeans and t-shirt and rolled onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered how he was going to do this.
To get through this.
Since the first time he and Noah slept together, they were rarely apart at night. He would sleep at Noah's dorm or Noah would sleep at his place. Even when Luke moved back in with this mom after his dad "died", that had only been a week. Then after the accident, when Noah and he were sleeping in separate bedrooms, at least Luke knew they were under the same roof. Luke would go and look in on Noah during the night. Sit in the room and listen to Noah breathe; which was probably Luke's favorite sound. Especially the little sigh when he breathed out.
Now he was almost 200 miles away from Noah. How was he going to do this? He took out his cell phone and punched in a few buttons. When he was finished, Luke rolled onto the right side of the bed and fell asleep from exhaustion.
Noah was not fairing any better.
Lily came home after a night out with Damian and found Noah in the same place Luke had left him. Noah was sitting on the floor of the living room. His head was hanging low and feet had fallen asleep long before. Lily knew that Luke wanted to be alone with Noah to tell him he was leaving. She and Luke had said their goodbyes earlier in the day. Luke just wanted to leave town with any fanfare or send-off. She slowly crept up to Noah and lightly rubbed his back to get his attention. She didn't want to startle him at all. He was already upset enough.
"Sweetie. Are you ok?" She asked in a very gentle, very soft voice.
"Luke's gone," he answered in a very soft, very sad voice. It was almost that of child and not a 22 year old man.
"I know honey. Here, let me help you up,"
With a little effort she helped him to his feet and over to the sofa. Noah sat and said nothing. Lily had her suspicions that Noah's reaction would be something like this. Her son and Noah had been so apart of each other's lives for so long that this response was justified. She would have been surprised if it hadn't.
"Do you want or need anything?"
"How long did you know? That Luke was leaving," Noah asked as he fidgeted with his cane. His cane had quickly become his security blanket; protecting him. People rarely approached a person with a cane. Lily sat down next to him and let out a long breath. She was bracing herself for some shouting.
"About a week. He came to Damian and me and told us of his plans,"
"A week. Why didn't he or you say anything?" Noah asked trying not to get upset. The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of her or shout at her.
"He wanted to make sure that he was making the right decision. And that you would be taken care of while he was gone,"
"What do you mean?" He asked and couldn't help but sniffle slightly.
"Well, he talked to me, Damian, Holden, Casey, Lucinda, and Emma before he made his arrangements. He wanted to be sure that everyone who cares about you would be able to take his place," she said as she took his hand in hers.
No one can take his place.
Noah couldn't hold back the tears anymore and let them flow. He never wanted to be pitied or worried about. But right now he just to be comforted. Lily wrapped her arms around him and held him as he cried. He buried his face in her neck and let go. He hadn't cried in some time. Not since the night in the hospital, when the nurses turned told him goodnight and he was suppose to be asleep. After he found out that couldn't see, that was when he cried this hard. Lily said nothing and was just there for him. He allowed himself a few more minutes and then pulled himself together.
Ever the brave soldier.
"Are you hungry or thirsty? Need anything?" Lily brushed some hair behind his ear and looked into his tear-ridden blue eyes.
"I'm just real tired. I think I want to go to bed," Lily nodded and helped him to his feet.
Noah sat on his bed for a while he wasn't even sure how long. He started to change his clothes when he heard his cell beep. He slid to the bed side table and felt around until he found his vibrating cell phone. He flipped open the cell and heard the chime that he had a text message.
"One new text message," the canned phone voice responded. Faith had abducted his phone one afternoon and installed an app that read his texts to him. It also typed what he spoke into it. He pressed select and the text came through.
"I'm here. I miss you already. Goodnight," the robotic voice said back.
He knew it was from Luke.
But there was no "I love you". That realization stabbed straight through Noah's heart. He didn't even change clothes after that. He rolled over onto the left side of the bed and went to sleep.
Well...whatta think? *ducks flying kleenix boxes*
I promise it is worth it. Don't give up on me yet!
Thanks for Stopping By!
Stay Tuned!