Summary: Laura was just your average woman, until a freak accident involving her television set, the Advent Children dvd, and lightning strike transported her to Gaia. And that's only the beginning of the story!

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own FFVII or Advent Children. Just a single copy of the movie. Now put the pitchforks and torches away. Nor do I own Beggin' Strips. I have just had that damn commercial playing in my head every single time I've had bacon ever since I first saw it.

Queen's Quornor: We're going for 'playful' in this chapter. I mean, what do Remnants do in their spare time? How do they spend the mornings? How do they like to eat their breakfast? This question shall be answered posthaste! I figured that Junon would be a better place for them to buy supplies than, say, Bone Village. It's bigger, and probably has a better selection of various foodstuffs and things than either Bone Village or Icicle Inn, despite the ocean between them. Oh, and before any of you express disgust at the combination of foods Kadaj and Loz are eating in a single breakfast burrito, let me point out that it's really no worse than ketchup on your scrambled eggs or cranberry and orange juice mixed together. Not that I recommend either of those, because quite frankly I don't see how they could taste good, but this one, surprisingly, does taste pretty damn good together! That bread is not pita bread, btw. Think of the fried bread people in Africa or India would make. And the 'battle' in here is a true story. 'Puddinged' is what we were screaming at each other, so as far as all participants in this mad event were concerned, it is now an official part of the English language.

The Silver-Haired Stooges

Yazoo was bent over a fire, flipping some meat in a skillet when Kadaj and Laura came down the stairs and entered the clearing. Loz had pointed this place out to her last night, saying it was their kitchen, and now she could see why. It was out in the open, a short distance from the city proper, but there was plenty of dead wood lying around, a ring of stones for a fire-place, and a fallen tree half-sunk into the ground so it made a good place to sit down. And food always tastes better outdoors, anyway.

The 'chef' waved a hand at them lazily, absorbed with the sizzling strips of meat and another frying pan next to them, in which was some kind of round white bread frying in oil. Loz gave them a goofy grin from his position off to the side, where Yazoo could keep an eye on him. He had an enormous bowl in his hands, and was vigorously stirring at something inside it with a wooden spoon. He was humming something, loud enough that Laura thought it entirely possible that dogs five miles away could hear him.

Utilizing the din as cover, Kadaj went over to Yazoo and squatted down, followed by Laura. "What is he making this time?"

Yazoo looked at him blankly, then reached up, pushed his hair back, and pulled a pair of rubber plugs out of his ears. "What?"

The youngest brother rolled his eyes while Laura giggled. "I said, what's he making this time?"

"Oh, I gave him some boxes of vanilla pudding to make. And I've been watching him, so I don't think we'll have to keep the Heal materia handy this time." Laura caught his muttered "I hope" as he replaced the ear plugs and flipped the bread onto a platter, throwing a fresh circle of dough into the skillet.

She and Kadaj took a seat on the log that was relatively close to the fire, watching the preparation of breakfast. "So…" Laura had to raise her voice a little, trying to be heard over Loz's noisy humming. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, I have to replace the front tire on my bike and go into town for some supplies. Yazoo was planning on working on his marksmanship today, not that he needs to. And Loz…" Kadaj frowned at the oldest clone, who was still stirring the pudding with far more force than necessary. "It's his turn to do the chores. Laundry, oiling the leathers, cleaning up the base, etc. You can stay here, or you can go with me. Your choice."

Yazoo was right. He really is like a different person when he's the one in control. If the other Kadaj was talking to me, he wouldn't allow me this choice. "I think I'd like to go with you. Where do you go for supplies, anyway?"

"Junon. That's where the boat docks when the guys in Bone Village need supplies, which is why I'm going today. They only go about every two weeks. By the way, do you need clothes?"

"Now that you mention it, I could probably use some new clothes. None of the ones I have with me are clean."

Kadaj reached for a pair of tin cups and a matching pot sitting at the edge of the fire. "Give 'em to Loz. Laundry is his duty for today. Coffee?"

"Sure. Black, if you please," she quipped. He flashed her a grin, then poured the coffee into the cups and gave one to her, putting the pot back in its place next to the fire. Raising the cup, she inhaled the aromatic steam and exhaled happily. "This smells heavenly. Back home, I'd call this gourmet coffee."

"Costa del Sol's best brand, Regalos de la Sol. Pretty expensive, unless you have a way of getting it for free, like us."

At a five-fingered discount. I guess I can't blame them. They can't exactly hold 9 to 5 jobs, after all.

Kadaj was watching her, his body tensed as if he expected her to rebuke him. Laura was not one to judge; she was an accomplished thief in her own right. She smiled at him warmly, and took a sip of the coffee. "You have extremely good taste."

He relaxed, and tentatively returned the smile. "Thank you."

They remained quiet for a while, enjoying the morning sunlight on their skin and each others' company, sipping their coffee. After a while, as Loz's humming got more and more obnoxious, Laura noticed Yazoo slowly reaching behind him for a small rock. Kadaj grinned, and leaned closer to the curious woman.

"Here it comes," he murmured into her ear. She shivered as his hot breath hit the sensitive spot just below the lobe. Casting a quick glance at the youngest Remnant, she caught his pleased grin. Oh yes. He's definitely male enough to appreciate making me react like that.

By now, Yazoo had the pebble in his grasp and had dragged it stealthily into his lap. Switching his spatula to the other hand, he took the rock in his left and rolled it in his fingers, getting the best grip possible on it. All this time, he had kept his eyes on the skillets and Loz had kept stirring the pudding, completely unaware of his brother's nefarious plans for him.

Having found his grip, Yazoo curled his arm, coiling his muscles in preparation for the strike. Almost faster than Laura's eyes could detect, he twisted his torso and whipped the stone at Loz, returning to his original position a half-second later, not a single strand of his sleep-mussed and unbrushed hair out of place.

The stone flew across the clearing in seconds, bounced off Loz's right temple, and disappeared into the underbrush. The bowl fell to the ground, amazingly staying upright, as its holder's hands flew up to grab his head. Kadaj and Laura couldn't keep the laughter at bay as the burly clone raced around the clearing, clutching his head and screaming "Ow ow ow!" Is he trying to outrun the welt? Laura wondered, watching him trip over a leg Yazoo casually stretched out. He looked so funny flailing about in the dirt that she just couldn't stop laughing. Beside her, Kadaj was bent double, guffawing loudly while his stomach began cramping with a vengeance.

Loz rolled onto his back at long last, abandoning the drunken fish-flop to glare at Yazoo, who was still sitting serenely by the fire, tending to the pans. "Why did you do that, Yazoo?" he sniffled. "You promised you wouldn't throw rocks at me anymore."

Yazoo scooped the meat strips onto three separate plates, putting a double serving on one of them. "I promised I wouldn't throw rocks at you if you would stop humming. Obviously, you haven't. So, I won't. Promise wasn't broken by me." He passed out the plates of fried bread and meat, giving the double-serving to Kadaj. "She needs her own dishes, Kadaj."

"Is the pudding finished?" the younger man questioned.

"Since none fell out, yes it is." Yazoo retrieved the bowl and put it in front of the log, then sat next to his brother's legs and grabbed the last cup for some coffee. Loz sulkily made his way to the group and grabbed his plate, sitting next to Laura with his right arm propped up on the log. "Hey, she's using my cup!"

"Loz, you don't need coffee. You're too much of a morning person as it is."

The bigger Remnant pouted. "But I like coffee."

Yazoo put the pot off to the side, as far from Loz as he could get it. "Well, you're not getting any."

"Meanie."

This exchange made Laura smile. She had never had siblings and her mother had never exactly been civil to her, so this was as close to a normal family life as she had ever gotten, listening to the interactions of others while she pretended to be invisible. It made her feel privileged, to be able to witness the feared SHM in a setting where they could just be themselves rather than what someone else wanted them to be.

She examined the meat on the plate curiously. Kadaj had balanced it between them on the log, and told her that half of it was hers. Looks like bacon. Smells like bacon. But is it bacon? She smirked as an old commercial flashed into her mind. No, it's Beggin' Strips!

Kadaj and Loz had both taken one of the flat, pita-like bread pieces in their hands and scooped some pudding out of the bowl, spreading it in a thick layer across the bread and laying some of the meat on it. Then they rolled it up into a tube and bit into their creations, chewing with obvious enjoyment. Yazoo, on the other hand, was merely dipping chunks of bread into the bowl and eating his meat separately. Laura gnawed at her lip for a moment, considering the bowl – vanilla was her favorite flavor, after all – then decided that if all three of them were eating it, the pudding had to be safe. She tore off a piece of her bread and dipped out some of the pudding, then tasted it cautiously.

Yep, that's vanilla pudding all right.

Next she broke off a piece of the meat and tried it, the dog's voice from the commercial echoing through her head. It's bacon!

"So you like Yazoo's cooking?" Kadaj interrupted her train of thought, taking a swig of his coffee.

Laura nodded eagerly, ripping off a larger piece of bread. "It's really good. Better than my own, actually."

"Well, this is the only free day you're getting. You're getting added to the chore roster tomorrow, right Kadaj?"

"Once we get back from Junon. And you'll have to show her the ropes."

"Why me?"

"Because you brought it up." Kadaj took another sip of his coffee, simultaneously ending the discussion and reminding Laura of somebody's dad at the breakfast table.

Yazoo smirked. "Kadaj 1, Loz 0."

Loz huffed. "Y'know, sometimes I think I'd be better of without meanies like you."

Laura smiled and playfully knuckled the big guy's shoulder. "Awww, you know your life would be boring without them."

"Yeah, Loz. You'd be miserable without us. After all, who would do this to you if we weren't around?" Kadaj suddenly tackled his older brother, administering a high-speed noogie with a maniac grin, causing Loz to let out a high-pitched, almost girly yelp.

"I don't know. But I do know that I wouldn't be able to do this again!" With that warning, he grabbed his younger brother around the waist and wrestled him into a headlock, madly ruffling his silver hair while offering Laura a mischievous wink.

"Argh! Loz! No!" Kadaj struggled madly to get free, but his muscular captor was having none of it. Laura tried hard to keep from laughing out loud at his myriad of changing expressions, but Yazoo had no such compulsion about preserving a measure of his brother's dignity. He was leaning back against the log with his head thrown back to the sky, laughing like a crazed loon.

"Can't catch me, Kadaj!" By now, Loz had released his brother and leader from the hold and was racing madly around the clearing, flowed closely by the brother in question.

"Get back here, you asshole! By the time I'm finished with you, your voice will be so high only dogs will be able to hear it!"

This spectacle was too much for Laura. She threw back her head and howled, laughing so hard her ribs ached. Now this is entertainment! Hell, it's even better than the movie!

And it only got better. Kadaj abruptly stopped running, his quarry not even realizing that he was no longer being chased, and calmly walked over to the pudding bowl. Picking it up, he assumed the classic pitcher's pose.

"Hey Loz!"

The bigger clone skidded to a stop on the other side of the fire. He's kinda cute when he's confused. "Huh?"

"Think fast!"

Splat!

Laura and Yazoo laughed even harder as he stood there, pudding dripping down his face and chest, the bowl at his feet. Abruptly, he scooped a handful off his cheek and hurled it at Kadaj.

But Kadaj ducked, and the pudding ball splattered against Yazoo's face.

Before Laura even knew what was happening, the three Remnants were involved in a full-fledged pudding war, with vanilla blobs flying back and forth across the clearing at near-constant intervals. Laughter and insults accompanied the pudding balls, and by the time it died down all three of them were liberally smeared with the sweet dessert. During all this, Laura had managed to escape getting a single speck of pudding on her.

Or at least, she had. Kadaj suddenly pointed at her and yelled "Hey, Laura's still clean!"

Then he was after her, and she was running through the forest, laughing the whole time. She thought she had left him in the dust, but…

A vanilla-scented specter suddenly dropped from the trees in front of her, making her stop in her tracks. He grinned at her, all of his teeth showing, and slowly began walking towards her. Laura inched away from him, knowing his intentions and really not wanting to get pudding all over her. When she felt the rough bark of one of the snow-white trees against her back, she knew she was about to be…

Puddinged.

Kadaj stopped his advance only inches away from her, still grinning up at her. "Hey Laura. You know what?"

"What?" she asked, taking a grip on the bark and pressing as hard against it as she could in an effort to get some more space between them.

"You're a really good kisser."

That threw her for a loop. "What?"

"Am I a really good kisser too?"

"Yeeessss…" she answered slowly. Why the change of subject?

"You don't sound sure of it."

"Oh, I am. Trust me."

"I think you need more convincing."

Before she could think of an appropriate reply, he was right up against her, hands in her hair, lips on hers. And the kiss was so hot, she just couldn't stop herself from putting her arms around his body in an attempt to get him even closer to her. Where the hell did he LEARN this? He's not just good. He's DAMN GOOD! And he hasn't even slipped me any tongue, yet!

The kiss was ended far too soon, as far as she was concerned. Kadaj wrapped up by resting his head beneath her chin, arms around her waist and a soft sigh of contentment coming from his talented mouth. Laura, slightly dazed, could only hold him too her and stare at the trees. She couldn't remember any of her ex-boyfriends being that orally talented.

"Hey Laura."

"Yeah, Kadaj?"

He lifted his head, and there was a naughty glint in those yellow-green eyes of his. "You're not clean anymore."

Oh. No… She looked down as he backed off slightly, and gave a helpless laugh. Her front was soaked with pudding, and she was willing to bet that her hair was full of the stuff now, too. After taking in her altered appearance, she mock-glared at Kadaj and put her hands on her hips, shaking her head slightly. "You don't fight fair. You know that, don't you?"

"Hey, you enjoyed that kiss." Kadaj grabbed her hand, and began to lead her back in the direction of the Forgotten City. "C'mon. We both need baths now, and I imagine that Loz and Yazoo are already in the tubs."

"Ummm…" She tried to think of a way to formulate the question now burning a hole in her brain.

"You'll be in a separate tub. Don't worry about it. The Cetra were into communal baths, but they kept individual tubs. Thank Holy the water still runs."

"But we'll be in the same room, right?"

"Yeah."

Wonderful… Silver-haired eye candy. Mmmmm…

Down, girl!