Summary: Laura was just your average woman, until a freak accident involving her television set, the Advent Children dvd, and lightning strike transported her to Gaia. And that's only the beginning of the story!

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own FFVII or Advent Children. Just a single copy of the movie. Now put the pitchforks and torches away.

Queen's Quornor: OK, here is the bath chapter. Amazingly, I have never read a single fic that has any of the SHM doing a thing so mundane as taking a bath… Scratch that, there was the amazingly funny "Advent Children 90210." But that is the only one. I mean, what do people think they do? Just stay dirty? Lick themselves clean like cats (oh God, I can't believe I just typed that…)? Put themselves through a car wash? They don't look dirty to me. So here, for your benefit, is my idea of how they get clean: just like you and me! Oh, and does anybody know EXACTLY what color their eyes are? In some frames of the movie it looks yellow-green, in others it looks blue-green. Which is it?

Silver-Haired Eye Candy

How the hell am I going to get out of this? Laura wondered, now completely stripped down and clutching a ragged old blanket to her front. She was about to take a bath in the same room as the three hottest guys she had ever seen, and the only empty tub with running water was right next to the hottest one of all. It was like the beginning of a fangirl's wet dream!

And she was scared shitless because that meant they would be seeing her naked too, if only for a moment or two.

"Come on, Laura!" Kadaj called. "Your water's gonna get cold!"

"Ok, ok. Keep your shirt on, I'm coming!"

"What shirt?" he playfully asked.

"Whatever." Deep breath, Laura. Try not to panic. They don't even have to see you. Just spread the blanket when you get in the tub and keep your back to them. Now, go. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. Repeat as necessary.

The bathing room was a spacious chamber the Cetra builders had dug underground, with separate pools carved into the floor at various points, each only big enough to accommodate a single person. Or two, if they don't mind getting really, really cozy. There were pipes sprouting up from the ground at every pool, with valves to turn for the water. Due to the hot springs under the chamber, the water was actually warm, but you had to wait for it to cool down to a reasonable temperature before getting in if you didn't want to be scalded.

Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz had already gotten in three of the four working, intact pools; the water was nearly to the brim but their shoulders and upper chests were still above the water-level. Loz waved at her as she approached the full, unoccupied tub, blanket now wrapped tightly around her slender body. Still nervous, she waved back at him.

All three of them had already washed the pudding out of their hair and off the then-exposed areas of flesh, and were now simply relaxing in the warm water. Yazoo and Kadaj were tossing some sort of ball back and forth between their pools, while Loz was merely watching them.

Laura moved around the tubs so her back was to the SHM, then dipped her toe into the water. It was still really warm, but no unbearably so. Happy that such was the case and really wanting the pudding out of her hair, Laura prepared to get into the pool…

Then shrieked as her blanket was suddenly ripped away, exposing her to the gazes of three very interested silver-haired men.

A split-second later she scrambled into the tub, as red as the proverbial lobster. After taking a moment to compose herself, she turned a baleful gaze on the men. Not surprisingly, it was Kadaj who had taken possession of her blanket.

"That wasn't funny."

He grinned wickedly at her. "But I wanted to see."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't want to show you yet?"

"'Yet'?"

"I…Uh…" Oh, good going, Laura. You just told all three of them that you were seriously considering playing hide the salami with Kadaj!

Still wearing a smug smile, Kadaj leaned his head back on the rim of the pool. "Wanna see me?"

"Kadaj!" she couldn't help squeaking, embarrassed to even be having this conversation.

"What? It's an honest question!"

"You're terrible, Kadaj. Just terrible." Yazoo tossed him the ball again. "And it's your turn."

He grabbed the ball from midair, then winked at Laura . "I think Laura's tattoo is really sexy." Then he threw it back to Yazoo.

Loz rolled his eyes and draped a wet, steaming scrap of cloth over his face, laying his head back and resting his arms on the edges of the tub. "Count me out. I always lose when I play with you guys."

"You're just a poor sport, Loz."

"Hey Laura, why don't you play with us? Once you finish with your hair, I mean," Yazoo offered.

"I dunno. What are you playing?"

Kadaj lazily kicked his feet in the water. "It's called 'Truth or Dunk.' The way it works is that you catch the ball and say something that at least sounds like a truth. If neither of the other participants call you on it, thinking that you're lying, you throw the ball at one of them and they take their turn. But if they think you're lying, you get dunked. Pretty simple, really."

"And who does the dunking?"

"The other players, of course."

Excuse me while I drool… Oh God, that means I'll have to help dunk one of them if I think they're lying! "What if they get it wrong and you weren't lying?"

"Then the dunkee becomes the dunker, and both of the dunkers become dunkees."

Well, I guess I was planning on seeing him in his birthday suit sooner or later… Might as well know what I'm dealing with. He's already seen me now. "Sure. Why not?"

"Great!" Yazoo tossed her a bottle of something. "So hurry up."

She grabbed it and read the label. "Lockheart 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner." Does Tifa run a side business in hair-care products?

"It's good stuff. We all use it."

Laura shrugged and poured some in her hands, scrubbing it into her hair and then dunking below the surface a few times to rinse it out. Once it was done, the water was rather cloudy and she was clean again. "Ok, give me the ball."

Obligingly, the ball came at her and she squeezed it between her hands, trying to think up a truthful lie so she could get an eyeful or two. "Ok… I want to dye my hair silver so I match you guys."

A snort came from beneath Loz's washcloth, but neither of the other two got out of their tubs. Slightly disappointed, Laura threw the ball to Yazoo. "Your turn."

"I think it would be really hot to see Kadaj having a makeout session with Laura." The ball was tossed to the aforementioned brother.

"I wouldn't mind having a makeout session with Laura." The ball flew at her again.

"You need kissing lessons." If that doesn't get a response, then I don't know what will.

Kadaj stared at her, dumbfounded. Then he smirked at her and braced his arms on the sides of the pool, slowly lifting his body from the water. Laura was now staring at a completely naked, dripping wet silver-haired man, and had to swallow convulsively to prevent herself from drooling. Aware that she was frozen like a deer caught in the headlights, he approached her, moving slowly so she could take in every inch of him. And she knew he was letting her have this show on purpose; she could see it in his smug smile. Then he was kneeling beside her, and her gaze was drawn immediately to the sizable (stop staring Laura! Stopstaringstopstaringstopstaringstop…Shut up already! I'm staring, goddammit!) cock less than a foot away from her face.

"Like what you see?" he murmured, watching her.

She nodded mutely.

"You want it?"

Again, she nodded.

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little while. Because…" His hand reached slowly for her head. "You are in desperate need of a dunking!"

"No!" Laura had just enough time to draw in half a lungful of air before she was shoved beneath the surface. Despite her frantic struggles, Kadaj held her under effortlessly. Although it seemed like an eternity to her, it was probably only about ten seconds before he finally let her up.

Coughing, she had a chance to take in his backside while he strolled back to his tub. Damn, I was right about it. Very nice indeed!

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

The game continued for about fifteen more minutes, with all three of them getting dunked at various points. Laura eventually got over her initial shyness and got in on the dunking, loving how much fun it was to hold such strong, powerful men underwater while they struggled. All too soon, Loz and Yazoo decided they had had enough ("My skin's getting all wrinkled!") and left the bathing room, affording Laura a good look at them as well. Loz was a little too muscular for her tastes, and Yazoo was pretty much along the same lines as Kadaj, well-formed and lithely muscled, but not overly so. However, Yazoo was not the one she had a sudden lust for. That Remnant was still in his tub next to her, idly soaping up his arms with another scrap of cloth.

"So where did the tattoo come from, anyway?" he asked.

Laura turned her head to look at him, slightly surprised. The question was a little unexpected. "I got it when I was fifteen. Just thought it would look cool, that's all. Why?"

"I wasn't lying before. It's a lot cooler than mine." He seemed a little subdued now, an abrupt mood-change from his earlier playfulness.

"You have a tattoo?"

"You didn't see it earlier?"

"I was…a little distracted." She blushed. As if it wasn't obvious…

In answer, Kadaj turned away from her and lifted his hair so the base of his neck was visible. And there, at the very spot where his neck melted into his back, was a number, done in stark black ink.

15.

"What…"

"It was my creation number," he flatly answered. "I was the fifteenth clone they created. I've also got an identification number on my right arm, inside the forearm. '15-223-1997. Name: Kadaj.' Yazoo and Loz have them too, but the numbers are different."

"Kadaj…" Laura felt so helpless. She knew this anger would be the catalyst Jenova would use to get inside him, this hatred of the things Shinra had put him and the others through. But she didn't know how to heal it, to heal the wounds and scars he carried with him at all times. All she could do was get out of the pool and go to him, slipping in the tub behind him and putting her arms around him in an attempt to offer some comfort.

Which she did.

He accepted the embrace but he didn't, remaining tense even while his hands crept up to grip her arms. She felt tremors running through him and was unsure whether this signaled anger or sadness. "They treated us like animals, Laura. Day after day, all we were were test animals, subjects for these awful experiments they cooked up. And after every experiment, there were operations. So they could see what happened to us. And when they hurt us, they laughed. They laughed, like we just didn't matter at all." The shudders increased, and Laura had this sinking feeling that he was crying again. "Are we worth so little, Laura? So little that nobody cares about us at all?"

"That's not true, Kadaj!" She held him to her, whispering fiercely into his hair. "You matter to each other, and you matter to me! If there was anything I could do to take back everything those scientists did to you and your siblings, I would do it without a second thought. Anything at all! You are clones, but you're people too! You have rights, feelings… You are not worthless. You never were, and never will be!

"Unlike me…"

"What the hell do you mean? You aren't worthless either!" Kadaj twisted around so they were face-to-face, his eyes suddenly burning with blue-green fire. "Nobody worthless would care about us like you do." His arms were around her now, clutching her to him like a lifeline. "I wouldn't care about someone worthless, Laura. And I care about you."

"Really?" Coming from Kadaj, that sounded a little unbelievable.

"I wouldn't lie, Laura." Then he was kissing her again, and in that kiss she found her answer.

He isn't kidding. He really does care about me…

And she was kissing him back, because she felt the same way. Kadaj was hardly what an old-fashioned woman would think of as a suitable prospect, but to her, he was just about perfect.

And he needed her. That vulnerability attracted her more than anything else about him. Unless she could save him, he would be lost.

Who am I doing this for? Him, or me? Hell, does it even matter anymore?

Just don't let go of me, Kadaj. Don't let go of your only chance, our only chance.

"Hey, get a room!" Loz's deep voice broke them apart, both blushing to a certain degree. The older clone had come back into the room and he was standing by the far wall with a small half-grin, arms crossed above the towel wrapped around his middle.

"What do you want, Loz?" Kadaj groaned, sinking a little lower in the water. Hiding a natural biological function of the male body, I see…

"I left my hair gel in here, that's all. But you might want to get going, if you want to catch the boat. It's leaving today, after all."

"Oh… Right…" Kadaj gave her an aggrieved look, and she shrugged helplessly. "C'mon, Laura. We'd better hurry."

As Laura followed him out of the bathing room, once again wrapped in her blanket, she couldn't help but think that this was moving a lot faster than she had originally anticipated. I mean, if Loz hadn't come in, I'd be willing to bet a few hundred bucks that we would be having sex right about now. I'm not afraid of him, or of sex with him. But why am I letting this go so fast?

Because you've only got so much time, that's why. Jenova's not going to wait forever; you've got to make him stronger, anchor him to you, before she starts trying even harder to get him to throw himself into the abyss. You don't have time for a leisurely courtship, and this isn't about you anyway, Laura.

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to protect him from her. Even if it means giving everything I have to him.

Even if it means my destruction.