I struggled a bit with this chapter. I hope it doesn't sho too badly. :)

ENJOY!

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Where They Stood

Luke was released from the hospital a week later. Noah was there every day. They avoided the elephant in the room. Neither one wanted to spoil their reconciliation. They just wanted to bask in the glow of it for a little while. Even if it was short lived.

Noah had been having his scheduled appointments with Dr. Johns via phone since he came to Chicago. She told him what he knew to be true. He and Luke had to talk about everything. Everything that split them up in the first place. Otherwise it would be like putting a band-aid on a gunshot. Sure, it might help for a little while, but eventually the patient would die.

He didn't want all of that anger and resentment to be at the heart of things to come. Noah also didn't want to talk about all of this while Luke was recovering. He wanted to wait until they were alone and could really talk without the worry of someone walking in. Like hospital staff or, more likely, a member of Luke's family. Their first night alone in Luke's apartment seemed like the best time.

Luke had showered and changed into a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt while Noah cleaned up from dinner. Luke was surprised by how hungry he was. After months of barely eating, anything he was able to keep down would surprise him.

"You didn't have to clean up," Luke remarked as he walked into the kitchen.

"You kidding? Someone had to clean up after you. You're still a slob," Noah said with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, what would I do without you?" he asked laughingly as he put the back of his hand to his forehead, fanning himself.

Luke leaned over the small island and kissed Noah. Noah's eyes shut so he could savor the quick kiss.

"So, now what?" Luke asked as he walked into the living room. Noah eyes never left him; he still could not get over how much weight he lost. He felt a twinge in his heart when he thought of what caused it. Luke finished his journey into the living room and flopped onto the sofa.

Now was the time.

"Well, I've been thinking," Noah walked around the island and sat at the opposite end of the sofa. "I think we need to talk,"

"About what?" Luke asked with apprehension and fear in his voice.

"About us. About everything that happened from Mason to the accident to now. We need to," Noah said as he reached out and took Luke's hand in his.

"I know. I know we should I've just been avoiding it. It's painful stuff,"

"I know. I think that if we do this, then, we'll be better this time," Noah agreed as he played with Luke's hands. He was trying to keep the mood as light as he could for as long as he could.

They turned toward each other and settled in; each sitting sideways on the couch. Luke pulled left knee to his chest and let his right foot swing against the rug. Noah curled his right leg under him and let his left rest on the floor.

"Ok. Where do we start?" Luke asked.

"Mason,"

"Mason?"

"Yeah, that's the beginning isn't it?"

"Ok! What about Mason?" Luke hit the syllables in Mason hard. He could feel himself getting angry and they had just started.

"Why did you show Damian the DVD?"

"Because you didn't tell me,"

"What does that mean?" Noah asked and he couldn't hide his confusion.

"It means that I had to find out about the kiss from the dailies and not from you. When Mason hit on you the first time, you came straight to me. But he kissed you and you didn't say anything. It made me think, what else were you not telling me. And I went to Damian for support. I wanted to vent to someone and have them reinforce what I already knew. That you loved me and nothing would ever happen between you two. When Mason and I had that fight in Java and you didn't want to hear about what I was feeling. I wanted to talk to someone who would agree with me. Plus we weren't talking much at the time and you were busy with your movie and I didn't want to bother you with it,"

"That's just it Luke. We're partners. We're in this together. We're supposed to talk to each other about things like this. When you went to Damian and not me, it made me feel like you didn't trust me,"

"It's not that. Whenever I saw you guys together or when you told me things you guys talked about, it was…," Luke bowed his head, almost in embarrassment.

"It was what?" Noah encouraged him.

"It was like watching you and Maddie all over again," Luke looked up and his gaze locked with Noah's; he could see tears wanting to fall out those chocolate eyes. Luke was admitting something that broke his heart to say out loud. "All of sudden I was back in that place when I was in love with you and didn't love me; like I was on the outside looking in again. You guys had a lot in common, more than we do. And I was worried that you would realize that. It didn't help that Mason had no respect for me or our relationship. He even threatened to steal you away from me,"

"But he would not have been able to,"

"Do you know that? Look at us. He is not even an issue anymore and we are still fighting about him. If he had kept pressing, been a listener when you needed one, an ally when we fought, can you honestly say that you would not have gone to him? How about when you were pushing me away? If he had come to you and been your "friend", can you tell me that you would not have done anything?"

Noah let Luke's words sink in. He had never seen this from his side before. Noah knew that Mason and Luke would never be friends, but to hear how Luke saw Mason. That was something else.

"What did he say to you?"

"He said that when you two were working on the project you were hands off, but as soon as the movie was done, it was game on. I thought, how am I going to compete with someone who you respect and look up to so much? And with us pulling away from each other at the time…,"

"What do you mean, pulling away?"

"Noah, the only time we saw each other was when one of us would come home after midnight and fall into bed. We were both busy and I understand that, and I know we weren't broken up, but it still hurt that he was spending more time with you than I was. I was missing you and when I saw the kiss…,"

"You thought the worst. You still should have talked to me about it,"

"I know! That's what I planned on doing after I showed the DVD to Damian and he told me not to worry about it and to talk to you. But then you called me, had me meet you at Java, and you told me that the Dean had questioned you…,"

"Why didn't you tell me then? About Damian?"

"Because I wasn't sure it was him until after we talked. I wanted to be sure before I told you. And when I did find out, I came to you and I told you,"

"And I blew up at you,"

"Did I ever tell you about that day on the roof?" Luke asked and Noah answered by shaking his head no. "When you fell and I couldn't touch you, I thought my life was going to end, right there. Then when your heart stopped,"

"My what?"

"Yeah I'm not sure why, the trauma I guess, the paramedics had to do CPR and they shocked you in the ambulance. Then our fight kept going through my head and I kept thinking, 'He's never going to know that I'm sorry. He's going to die hating me'," Luke voice could not hide the anguish he felt that day. "I was going to lose the love of my life because I didn't trust us enough," Luke bit his lower lip to keep it from quivering; it didn't help but a little.

"Luke the explosion wasn't your fault," Noah said and Luke looked at him. This was the first time that Noah had said that to him.

"I guess, I thought it was, I felt guilty, and then when you blamed me, I started to believe it," Luke said in quiet almost defeated voice. Noah looked at Luke. He had pulled his other leg up onto the couch and hugged his knees to his chest. Noah could see all of those months after the accident were still hanging onto Luke. Several tears rolled down Luke's cheeks. Luke deserved to know.

It was his turn to explain. Luke brushed his tears away while Noah cleared his throat. He wanted to get this out without breaking down. He had planned out this conversation for a long time. He wanted to get it right.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you after the accident. I was angry that I couldn't see and I took it out on you because you were always there. You said that you wanted to be wherever I was and I wanted to punish you for what happened to me. I was grieving and there was nowhere for me to direct my anger except at you. I didn't care…I started to not care how you felt. It wasn't until I really started to go over everything with Dr. Johns that I realized that I wanted to push you away,"

"Why would you hurt me like that?"

"I always thought it was a miracle that we met; I mean what are the odds? That we would meet and that we clicked like that. That we would just fit. In the back of my mind, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. In my anger and fear, I thought that eventually you would leave me and if we weren't close anymore then…,"

"Then what?"

"Then it wouldn't utterly destroy me. If weren't close anymore when we broke up, then eventually I would be able get past you," Noah choked back a sob. He hated to even think about them breaking up for good and to tell Luke about it; it was just too much. "Then when you did leave. My entire world caved in. It was something your mom said to me when she came home after you left. She found me sitting on the living room floor. I dropped right after you walked out the door," Luke was listening and he didn't even realize that he was moving closer until his knee pumped Noah's. He took Noah's hand in his and Noah kept going. "She helped me to the sofa and when she told me that everyone knew that you were leaving, I got so mad. I was pissed that everyone seemed to know something that pertained to us and I didn't. But your mom told me that you wanted to be sure that everyone who cared about me would be able to take your place. And the first thought that came to me was, No one could replace you," Noah looked up and saw Luke's beautiful face and his amazing eyes. He could see his reflection in the tears that were resting there. "After that night, I decided that I had to get better. I had to get better for us," Noah reached out and lightly brushed the tears from Luke's eyes. "God, I love you. I never thought I could love someone so much,"

Luke always felt that way. He knew what Noah and he had was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. The kind of love that Nicholas Sparks wrote about. The stuff that Hallmark made millions off of. Luke leaned closer and lightly brushed his lips against Noah's. Noah didn't need to be told twice. He reached out and slid his hand into the long hair that lay just under Luke's left ear. He pulled Luke closer to him. A duo of moans came out and Luke moved towards Noah; pushing the man onto his back. Luke lay half on top of Noah and half next to him on the sofa.

This was not about sex.

It was about just being together. They lazily kissed for several more hours; mostly lying together and listening to each other breathe.

Luke told him about his life in Chicago, pretty much everything that had happened since he left Oakdale.

Noah told him about his therapy and about the surgery, basically everything that had happened since he left.

They just shared with each other, their lives till now.

And that was enough. For now.

No cuts or other scenes. Just the two boys. Let me know what you thought!

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