Summary: Laura was just your average woman, until a freak accident involving her television set, the Advent Children dvd, and lightning strike transported her to Gaia. And that's only the beginning of the story!

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own FFVII or Advent Children. Just a single copy of the movie. Now put the pitchforks and torches away.

Queen's Quornor: Back to the Forgotten City. I was going to put a scene in with Captain Stu and them just barely catching the boat before it left, but for some reason I just couldn't get it to work. So you're going to just have to imagine the chewing-out ol' Stu gave our daring duo. But what I had down for that part was, to say the least, graphic. I think Stu might actually cuss more than Cid does! Anyways, I might say what Loz and Yazoo were doing in Kadaj's absence in another chapter, but for now, you'll just have to imagine it yourself. However, contrary to what those of you who like the Loz/Yazoo pairing might think, it was not sex. Sorry, but I'm not a big fan of incest. And seeing as how they are clones, that's kinda like having sex with yourself! I have nothing against yaoi, but brotherly incest is just taking it way too far. In fact, as we shall soon see, I do not think Yazoo is a big fan of sexual relations at all...

I Just Read the Articles!

Laura was thrilled to be back in the Forgotten City. Despite their inital fear of having missed the boat, Captain Stu had brought them back after making their ears bleed, and now the ethereal city was in sight. Kadaj pulled to a stop outside the house where he and his brothers were staying and hopped off the bike. Laura slid off after him, bags in her arms. It still amazed her that he had never lost control of the bike, despite the number of plastic and paper bags she was weighed down by. "Brothers! We're back!" he called.

"Kadaj! Laura!" Loz came running out of the front door, followed by a more sedately-paced Yazoo. "How was your trip? Did you get my cd? Did you have a good time?"

"Hey guys. Yes, we had a good time." Laura rested her burden on the ground, exchanging a knowing smile with Kadaj. "It was wonderful."

If Loz caught the innuendo, he gave no sign of it. Instead, he tackled the slender woman, bearing her to the ground in a bone-crushing hug. "I missed you!"

"Ugh! Kadaj... Yazoo... Little help...here!" she gasped. Is he even aware of his own strength? God, it feels like my whole torso is being turned into pulp!

"Loz, you're going to break her ribs!" The meathead was suddenly yanked back off her by his brothers, allowing Laura to breathe again.

"Thank...you..." she panted. Yazoo offered her a hand, having kicked his older brother in the rump, and helped her to her feet.

"Forgive him. He is too stupid to realize how strong he is."

"S'alright. I know." She bent over and began picking up the fallen bags, happy that nothing had been broken or cracked. "We got your books for you."

"Thank you." The long-haired Remnant peered into the bag in question, a soft smile gracing his lips as he beheld the paperbacks therein. "You have no idea how many times I've gone through the books here."

"I believe I can imagine." She looked over to Kadaj, who was currently wrestling with his oldest brother. Loz had him in a head-lock at the moment. "Hey, would you two break it up and help us get these bags into the house?"

"Sure, if you'll hold on a moment." Kadaj reached a hand around, the limb disappearing behind his body. Seconds later, Loz gave a high-pitched scream, and abruptly released his little brother to cradle his injured crotch. Laura felt a little sorry for him when she saw that there were tears in his eyes.

And it is for reasons such as this that Loz will be totally unable to reproduce, should the opportunity ever arise.

Kadaj got up and brushed himself off, strolling over to his amused brother and lover to help retrieve the bags. Laura leaned over to him as they began walking towards the house.

"You do realize that you have utterly crushed his chances of ever having kids, right?"

"Such was my intention." Kadaj winked at her and kicked a chair out of the way, allowing the trio to pass into the storage area without hindrance. "No girl should ever be forced to have Loz's babies."

"I agree. One of him is more than enough," Yazoo said. "Here, you unload the bags, and we'll put the stuff away."

"So what happened here while we were gone?" Laura inquired, setting the bags up on the stone table in the middle of the room and beginning to root through them, pulling out various objects and laying them on the smooth surface for the men to retrieve.

"Um, Laura? Maybe I should take that one." Kadaj reached for the paper bag she currently had in front of her, but she swatted at his hands.

"Why? Is there something you'd like to..." Her voice trailed off as she reached the bottom of the bag, and saw what the food had been concealing. My, my, my, Kadaj. So this is what you meant by 'magazines.' She pulled out three glossy mags, and began reading through the features listed on the front of each one. "'Blonde, Busty, and Dangerous: An Interview with Elena of the Turks'... 'The Girls of AVALANCHE'... 'Yuffie Kisaragi Bares It All'..." Oh, how much does this photographer want to die? Because he definately will if Cloud sees this magazine! "'Through the Window: Cloud and Tifa's Wild Romp Between the Sheets.'" She raised amused eyes to look at her lover, who was currently the color of a beet. "I admire your taste in reading material, Kadaj."

"I just read them for the articles!" he protested.

"Sure you do." She flipped through Voyeur to the section about Cloud and Tifa, and let out a low, admiring whistle. "Wow. I never knew Cloud was so well-built..."

"Give me thaaaat!" He snatched the magazines away from her and hugged them to his chest, reminiescent of a child keeping his favorite toy away from an older, meaner sibling. "All right, I admit it. I read porn! Is that so wrong?"

"No, it's not. I wouldn't mind taking a look at those with you, actually." Laura slinked over to him and walked her fingers up his naked arm, leaning in close to him. "Who knows? Maybe I'll be...inspired."

His eyes flickered with interest, and he snaked out an arm to wrap it around her waist. "So you're a naughty girl, huh? Care to share some of that naughtiness with me?"

"You know a naughty girl's got to have a bad, bad boy to keep her in top condition," she purred.

"Oh, puh-leeeze. Get a room, you two," Yazoo said, rolling his eyes.

"You're gonna scream," Kadaj taunted, a smile widening across his face.

"Not if you don't first," she shot back.

Yazoo suddenly moved, grabbing the scruffs of their necks and dragging them upstairs. Upon reaching Kadaj's room he kicked the door open and threw them both in, slamming the door shut after them. "If you're going to have wild, passionate sex, at least do it where I can't see you!"

This sent Laura and Kadaj into gales of laughter. The Remnants' leader crawled over to his lover, resting his head against her stomach while he howled with laughter. His hair tickled her where her mesh shirt and baby-T had ridden up, making her laugh all the harder.

Who would have guessed that Kadaj was such a pervert, and Yazoo such a prude? Her laughter faded as she smiled down at him lovingly. But he's my pervert.

She spotted the magazines and flipped Voyeur open again, this time to a second photographic spread involving Reno and a woman she didn't recognize. The raw sexuality of the pictures suddenly made her very, very horny. Damn, looks like Denise and I were right about Reno. That's a package if I've ever seen one!

"Hey, Kadaj. Look." When he lifted his head, she tapped one of the pictures, in which Reno was doing the woman up against a wall with her ankles crossed and locked behind his neck. "Think we can do that?"

He eyed the picture thoughtfully for a moment, then turned a smoldering gaze upon her, making her shiver. "Wanna try it?"

"Hell yeah." They stood up, already tugging at assorted zippers and straps.

"Wanna confuse Loz and piss off Yazoo at the same time?"

"Fuck, yes."

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

When the noise started upstairs - a myriad of moans, muted screams, things falling off the walls and shelves, cries of "Oh my god KADAJ!" and "Give it to me, baby! Give it to me!" (the latter coming from both the people in question), and a whole range of strange thumping noises - Yazoo sighed and went to look for his ear plugs.

It was going to be a loooong night.