Sorry to say this, but this probably the second to the last chapter.

I really like this chapter. This one was probably my favorite to write!

ENJOY!

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Looking Back

Noah lightly walked around in the den at his house, well his and Luke's house. They had lived here for nearly ten years now and he still marveled in that it was their house. It was about 8 in the morning and Luke was still asleep, but who could blame him. He was the one who usually got up when Lucy would wake up in the middle of the night. Noah preferred the early morning shift. He'd get up with the baby and Luke would get to sleep in. Noah held their infant in his arms and walked her around the room. She was finishing up her first bottle of the day and lightly cooing as she did so. He could fall sleep to the sounds she made.

He shifted her to his chest and lightly rubbed her back; all while still walking back forth in the office. After she finally burped, which made me laugh each time, he continued to hold her close to him. She fussed just a bit and then started to drift off to sleep. This was what he always wanted. He just didn't know it.

When Luke brought up the idea that they should adopt. Noah was not sure. He didn't exactly have the best model for parenting growing up. His dad was still in Statesville Prison, but he had recently been moved to the medical wing permanently. The cancer had spread to his bones and the doctors tell him that his time is short. Noah feels some guilt over how things turned out, but his father has not made an attempt to contact him since the day he was sentenced eight years ago. Attempting to murder a police officer was enough to get him put away for the rest of his life. Noah once asked Luke why he didn't press the DA to reinstate charges for his shooting several years before that. He was still haunted by that awful camping trip.

"He's already in prison. Me pressing charges will not do anything else. He will never be able to hurt anyone ever again. That's enough for me," and then he kissed Noah's temple. He always did that when he wanted to calm Noah and it worked every time. Deep down Noah knew the reason was that Luke did not want to be the reason that Colonel Mayer would spend the rest of his life in jail. He never wanted that to come between them. Ever.

Lucy was finally asleep, but Noah did not want to put her down. He just could not get enough of his daughter. His daughter. Lucy was nearly four months old now and he could not get over the concept of his daughter. When he had finally let Luke talk him into adopting, he still was hesitant. They had two prospective mothers say no because they were two men and not a "traditional" couple. Just thinking about it was enough to make Noah angry all over again. It wasn't until he was on the way home from another meeting with their adoption lawyer that he had a brilliant idea, but he wanted to wait to see what he could find out first.

Two days later he sprung it on Luke.

Luke was driving back from Chicago after meeting with agent. His first novel had been published two years prior to rave reviews and it was in talks of being made into a movie. He had to negotiate the rights and he had an interview with Good Morning America via satellite. He could not wait to get back to see Noah. They had been away from each other for two whole days and he was itching to see those blue eyes. They drove to Chicago to see their lawyer and then Luke had to stay over for stupid work meetings. He wished he could do everything via video conference. He was pulling into their driveway when a rush of calm washed over him. He always got this feeling when he came home. He told Noah once many years ago that he loved their first apartment because it was theirs. He felt that way now. As soon as the doors were locked it was just them and nothing could beat that. He looked at their house and just stared. They had found the house about five years ago and were surprised how perfect it was. It was a two story farm house with just a little bit of farm land left, but it was enough for them. They decided to move a little bit away from Oakdale. Closer enough so that family could visit, but far enough away so that it wasn't every day. The place needed work. It looked like it had not been lived in about a year. Noah was willing to do a lot of the work himself, but Luke's family wouldn't hear of it. Every day there was another Snyder over to help them make their home theirs. Holden did a lot of work on it, as did Jack. Luke was glad to see that Noah and his family had bonded even more as the house took shape. Luke, with the help of all the Snyder women, did the décor. The white farmhouse with blue shutters never looked better.

Luke was fumbling with his laptop bag, his suitcase, and another bag when he was able to get the door open. He dropped all of his luggage near the door and pushed the door shut with his foot.

"Noah!" He called out. He dropped his keys in the bowl near the door and grabbed the mail off side table. "Noah? You home?" He yelled not looking up from the stack he thumbed through. After deciding nothing looked interesting, he hung his coat up and toed off his shoes. He could not wait to get out of his suit and into a comfy pair of Noah's jogging pants. If Noah wasn't careful, soon Luke was going to acquisition all of Noah's workout clothes. He pulled off his tie as he walked through the living room. Still no sign of Noah. He walked into the kitchen and saw him standing at the stove with his back to door. He was busy cooking something. Luke stood in the doorway and just watched him.

He loved his husband so much he could not stand it.

Noah was busy moving from the stove to the counter to the fridge and back again. Luke bit his lip to keep from laughing at how cute Noah looked in the apron Aaron got them as a house warming gift. The "Guess what cookin' under my apron!" made Luke giggle every time. Noah turned to grab a spoon from the silverware drawer, which brought him right up to Luke, and jumped.

"AHH! You scared me!"

"I couldn't help it you look so cute when you're concentrating," Luke said as he stepped into the kitchen and to Noah. He slipped his arm around Noah neck and Noah slipped his around Luke's waist. "Hi,"

"Hi," Noah answered and gave him a 1000 watt smile. The smile that made Luke spine tingle; every time. Luke pulled Noah to him for a slow, soft kiss. He felt his knees shake a little and heart beat a little faster. Noah pulled away when he saw that his carefully planned dinner was about to boil over. Noah went back to his cooking and Luke looked over his shoulder and perused his husband's handiwork.

There were two freshly grilled steaks in the warming drawer while biscuits baked in the oven. There was a pot with recently mashed potatoes on one burner. And it looked like Grandma Emma's homemade gravy on the other. All of Luke's favorites. What was up?

After dinner they sat at their kitchen table and basked in one of the best meals they had ever had. Luke leaned forward and took one of Noah's hands in his.

"Not that I don't love all this, but why the cooking extravaganza?"

"Well, I was rethinking this whole adoption thing," Noah said and Luke's heart broke. He was having second thoughts. He knew this would happen. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. Noah would be such an amazing dad and Luke hated that he wouldn't realize it. Luke let go of Noah's hand and stood up. He went to the sink and started doing dishes. Noah was confused. Luke hated the dishes, what just happened here?

"Luke? What wrong?"

"Nothing," he was not going to cry. He was too upset to be angry.

"Talk to me," Noah said as he leaned forward and put his hands on the counter; one on each of Luke, boxing him in.

"It's just you would be such an amazing dad, I just wish you could see it," Luke said as he rub his nose with the back of his hand. Noah realized how Luke took what he said.

"I'm an idiot," he mumbled to himself. "Baby, look at me," he pushed and Luke turned around in Noah's arms. He could see fresh tears had fallen, but Luke was fighting to keep them at bay. He moved his hands to the small of Luke's back and then locked his fingers together. "I didn't change my mind,"

"Huh? You said…,"

"I said I was rethinking the adoption thing. Come here," he took Luke's hands and pulled him towards the table. Noah sat down and Luke sat in his lap; his arms wrapped around the blonde. "I have an idea. What if we have a baby?"

"Unless you have a uterus I don't know about, that is not going to happen,"

"I was thinking we borrow one. Like Faith's," Luke looked at his husband in amazement. "I already asked her and she is thrilled to help us. I would be the biological father, but this way the baby would part of both of us. Blood related to you and me. No one would ever be able to come back and try to take the baby away, which we were both worried about. What do you say?" Noah asked and he started to chew on the inside of his lower lip.

"I think that I love you so much that I can't even speak right now,"

"I love you too. Is that a yes?"

"Yes!"

Noah slowly lowered his small daughter into her crib and turned on her mobile. "Rock-a-Bye-Baby" started to play and Noah pulled her blanket up to her chest. She was such a little angel. The second he held her she became daddy's girl. The Snyder family teased Luke all through the pregnancy that he was going to spoil her rotten, but as soon as Noah held her, he was a goner. No, Noah will be the one that will spoil her silly. He never thought it was possible to love someone so much, but Lucy proved that wrong.

"Sleep well, Lucinda Emma Mayer. I love you so much," he said very softy. He picked up the baby monitor and softly closed the door. He went back into the den and sat at his desk. He leaned back in the chair and looked about the room. The room that he shared with Luke. They each had a desk with laptops on each. Noah's iMac looked space age compare to Luke's Hp. The things in this room were a testament to the life that Luke and he had together. He looked to his right and saw seven framed documents. Each with different dates and from different states, but each very important. The first six were obtained on a two week trip around the country he and Luke took eight years ago. First was New Hampshire, second was Vermont, then Connecticut, next was Massachusetts, Washington D.C. was fifth, and then Iowa. The seventh one was from a trip to Toronto on their fifth anniversary. It was Luke's idea. They couldn't get married in Illinois yet, so they decided to get married in each state that would let them. Noah liked to joke that he's been married seven times to the same man.

The left side of the room there were two framed posters. The one that Luke gave him for Valentine's Day nearly 12 years ago, his copy of The Best Years of Our Lives. The other was a little more important. The frame held There and Back Again, the feature length version of Noah's student film. Directed by Noah Mayer and written by Luke Snyder and Noah Mayer. After he won at the student film festival, there was a bit of buzz about his movie. Copies were being handed around to different production companies, but when Jonathan Demme got it, he wanted Noah to direct a longer version to be released. Noah insisted that Luke be hired to help with the rewrite.

Underneath the poster hung Noah's invites to Sundance and Cannes. He did win Audience Award at Sundance, but Noah really meant it when he said it was honor to be asked.

It was after There and Back Again, when Luke's career took off too. He was asked to re-write several blockbusters; James Cameron vowed to never speak to either of them afterwards. He was asked to adapt a couple novels for the screen and he was even asked to co-write a film with Edward Norton. In the middle of all of that, Luke was finally able to finish the novel he started in his apartment in Chicago called Love Denied. The cover jacket for Luke's novel was hanging right next to Noah's first movie poster.

Noah laughed slightly as he thought about how their lives had changed since they met each other. He realized that their biggest successes were because of each other. Noah first film was made better by the man that was asleep in their bedroom. Luke's first novel was about their love affair. Noah knew that he would be nothing without Luke and he bet Luke would say the same about Noah. It was interesting how things work out.

Noah heard fussing from the baby monitor and then heard Luke's shushing voice.

His family was up and he didn't want to be anywhere else. He picked up the baby monitor and walked down the hall to his future.

I have one more chapter and then one is done. The gushing may now commence ;)

Thanks!

To be Continued!

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