Disclaimer: So many things that I wish I owned… though only the plot is my own.
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Of Peppers and Pickpockets
They went out to dinner. This time, Hatter chose the restaurant. He wasn't exactly certain what Thai food was, but he felt up to anything.
The inside of the restaurant was almost overwhelming. Bright colors and mirrors seemed to make the small space bigger while the curious statues kept drawing his attention. The effect was decidedly unlike anything he had ever seen.
He set his hat down on the table, feeling as if it would be impolite to eat with it on here. It was a considerably nicer restaurant than the one they had gone to have pizza in. Come to think of it, he should get Alice to take him back there. None of the pepperoni pizza that they had gotten delivered tasted quite the same.
Hatter noticed Alice's hand on the table cloth, sneaking closer to the brim of his hat. He had noticed her fascination with his hats. Anytime one was nearby and not on his head, she was trying to touch it. To say it was distracting would be an understatement. Usually no one was allowed to touch his hats. But he found that with her, he didn't mind. If that wasn't love, he didn't know what was.
Did he really love her? He wondered, a bit in awe of the idea. He wanted to be with her no matter what happened, he would give up everything for her, he wanted to marry her and he was willing to let her touch his hats. Yes, he concluded, I'm in love with her.
She smiled at him, not knowing what he was thinking about. He was grateful for that fact.
"So, how does Thai food taste exactly?" Her smile broadened.
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She didn't warn him about the stars by items on the menu. If he didn't read the warning that a star meant "hot and spicy" that was his own fault. In fact, when he first bit into the food, she found the look on his face to be hilarious.
The fact that gulped down his drink and then stole hers as well made her smile at him. She watched as she fanned his mouth.
"Here…" Alice dished some of the noodles from her plate onto his.
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He ate them greedily, trying to put out the fire in his mouth. Spice burned every part of his tongue, making him wish he could scrape his taste buds off. Was there any way to make the pain stop?
Hatter wondered if he dared to continue to eat his food. Alice reached over towards his plate and plucked some red bits from the top of it.
"Don't eat these." She whispered. Everywhere around them, people were staring.
She hadn't warned him. She hadn't stopped him from eating that burning red peppers. Alice had played a trick on him. It wasn't something that he had expected. He was going to have to keep a closer eye on her, and pay more attention to things (he thought he might have seen something about "spicy" on the menu).
"The rest of it should be ok. I made that mistake the first time I ate here too."
Had she? Or was it all just a prank?
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They finished their dinner, but they didn't talk very much throughout the rest of it. Hatter had his water refilled multiple times, gulping it down quickly each time. His mouth still throbbed and occasionally his tongue would run over an area of his mouth where the flavor of the pepper was still in full swing.
"I didn't quite expect that from you." Commented Hatter as they left the restaurant. This time he had been the one to pay the bill.
"Come on, you can't seriously think that I won't play some tricks on you." Alice shot back. There was something like a challenge in her eyes and he was eager to accept it. Life with Alice would never be boring. Each day he learned something new about her that he hadn't expected. And he wanted to keep learning about her every moment that he could.
"You are just as mad as Charlie is, you know that?"He murmured. "Box of frogs and all." He settled his hat on top of his head and continued down the sidewalk.
He heard Alice's footsteps behind him, trying to catch up to his longer strides. It was nice to walk down a sidewalk with Alice without having her panic that there was a ledge right beside her. Falling off a sidewalk here would only mean getting hit by a car. He wasn't exactly sure why she found that more reassuring.
They walked to her apartment, dodging people talking on cell phones and carrying giant shopping bags. It was strange to live in such an active city, one where people roamed outside freely and without fear of the people around them. Certainly some people were suspicious of others, but most seemed too caught up in their own worlds to notice much.
A man ran into Hatter, almost knocking him over and kept walking without even an apology. Instinctively, Hatter checked his pockets. There were plenty of petty crooks in Wonderland, even if he generally thought himself above all of that. After all, smuggling sounded a lot more refined than being a pickpocket.
His wallet was gone. That damned folded bit of leather that Alice had insisted he have was missing.
Hatter took off after the man. He hadn't had much money in the wallet, and from what he read about his credit card, he could just report it stolen. But it was the principle of the thing. He had just been robbed and nobody robbed Hatter.
He ran past shops, and businesses, passing children and adults in his pursuit of the thief. He ran for blocks, occasionally hearing Alice's voice calling out behind him. He knew she would figure out what happened, maybe she was even calling the police that she was so insistent that he not get on the bad side of.
No matter, he would get his wallet back.
His hand snagged the back of the man's brown coat, pulling him into a side alley.
"If I could just have my wallet back." Hatter prompted, done with the theatrics for the day. He had just wanted to walk Alice home and maybe kiss her before heading back to his apartment. Now, his relatively good mood was gone.
The pulse of energy built up in his fist and the muscles screamed in protest, demanding that he release the tension. But before he could, he saw a flash of something shiny in the man's hand.
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Alice heard the gunshot. It was too familiar of a sound after her time in Wonderland. She knew Hatter didn't have a gun on him.
Her legs stretched out longer, trying to go as fast as she could. She didn't care if she wasn't supposed to fight anyone except in self-defense. If Hatter was hurt, she was going to kill someone. And she wasn't even certain if that was an empty threat.
Alice ran into the alley to see two men slumped against opposite walls. As much as she wanted to run straight over to Hatter to see if he was alright, she approached the other man first.
She picked the gun out of his hand by the barrel, careful not to point it at any of them. Even if the man looked to be unconscious, she wasn't leaving him with a gun. She certainly didn't want to get shot in the back while making sure her boyfriend was alright.
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Hatter moaned and tried to sit up.
"One of these days, I'm going to get to be the one who shoots someone." He complained, unbuttoning his shirt and checking his body armor. It was like a second skin for him and even after living in her world, he still refused to take it off when he went outside. Today had proven just how right he was.
But then again, he had been stupid to follow the man. Oh well, he wasn't hurt too badly. At worst, maybe he had a broken rib. And of course the fact that his hand had that damned tingling sensation again. At least it had gotten him out of this mess.
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AN:
The chapter title is influenced by the "of cabbages and kings" from the poem that the Walrus and the Carpenter say in the Alice in Wonderland animated movie. (I need to get around to reading the books someday, just so I can know what actually happens in them.)
Sorry for the random plot Jabberwockies in this chapter. I couldn't deny them. So, we have Hatter eating Thai food and getting shot again.
The Thai food incident is based on real events. Always remember to check to make sure that the food isn't spicier than you can handle.
I think Hatter wouldn't stop being paranoid even if he was in this world. So, the body armor remains. He didn't know he was at risk the day that Alice showed up at the Tea Shoppe, but he was already wearing the vest, so I figure he would still wear it.
Alice's thoughts on hurting the shooter are kind of conflicted. Black belts have to be careful about fighting, since they do know a lot more about combat than normal people. And there can be legal issues involved in them harming others. However Hatter doesn't have any such moral dilemma. He doesn't mind using his "sledgehammer" hand when he needs to.
Ask questions! I have answers! Most of the time anyway…