Summary: Laura was just your average woman, until a freak accident involving her television set, the Advent Children dvd, and lightning strike transported her to Gaia. And that's only the beginning of the story!

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own FFVII or Advent Children. Just a single copy of the movie. Now put the pitchforks and torches away. I also do not own the rights to Who's Line is it Anyway. But I do own the right to say that the Drew Carey version is waaaaaay better than the original English show!

Queen's Quornor: So now Kadaj gets to meet the infamous Denise! One has to wonder how Laura's Final Fantasy-crazy best friend are going to react to a hot guy who supposedly exists only in a CG movie...

I Can't Get the Wig Off!

"So you're finally getting hitched? That's great, Laura! Man, I was starting to think you were doomed to single-motherhood!" Denise's voice squealed over the phone. "Is he the one who got you pregnant?"

"Yeah, he is. I'm marrying my baby's father."

"Certainly took him long enough to come around, didn't he? Anyway, so when's the ceremony?"

"It's going to be in June. We're still trying to decide on where the honeymoon should be. And the ceremony, for that matter." Laura hesitated, then plunged on. "Hey Denise, could you come up? I'd really like you to meet him."

"Well... I do need a vacation. Sarah's been teething, and she's driving me crazy. Jim just got back from a business trip, so it's his turn to watch her by himself. Besides, I just got my latest batch of illustrations in the mail. I don't have any work due. Ok, I'll be up tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok. See you at the airport then." She started to hang up the phone, then stopped herself. "Oh, and Denise? I want you to keep an open mind when you meet him. He... Well, let's just say that he doesn't really look like your average dude."

"Laura, please. You know me better than that. If he's good enough for you, and he's going to marry you, then he's all right by me. See ya tomorrow, girl."

"Later, Denise." Laura hung the phone back up, and then dialed another number. I owe him this. He's been nothing but nice to me, ever since I told him I was pregnant. Even though he was a little...persistant. Besides, how many girls can say that they are still friends with their ex-boyfriend?

The phone picked up after the second ring. "Hello?"

"Brian, it's Laura. I'd like you to come over tomorrow."

"Why? Are you all right?" She heard the concern in his voice, and knew that what she was about to say would be, at the very least, hard to hear.

"No, I'm fine. Better than fine, actually. You know the guy who got me pregnant? Well, he came back to me. And now we're going to get married. I'd just like you to meet him." And prove that he's not the 'jerk' and 'asshole' you were calling him.

He was silent for a moment. Then "Are you sure this is what you want, Laura? I mean, he left you!"

"Brian, that was something neither of us could avoid. But we're back together now, and everything's great. So will you come?"

Heavy sigh. "Yeah, sure. What time?"

"How about six? Denise is going to be here by then."

"You mean that woman with the nose ring?"

"Yep. That's her."

"Fine. See ya at six, then."

"Bye." Laura hung the phone up and leaned back against the armrest of the couch. Kadaj sat next to her, watching something on the television. A Who's Line is it Anyway marathon. Heh. He's got good taste in television too. "So it's settled. You're meeting Denise and Brian tomorrow at six."

"Are you sure they'll like me? I mean... Technically, I'm not even supposed to exist."

"They'll love you. Don't worry about it." She stroked her stomach, watching Colin and Ryan playing Sound Effects with a couple of old ladies from the audience. "Hey, what do we want to call this baby, anyway? We can't name it 'the baby' or 'it.' That would look really strange on a birth certificate."

"I don't really know any good names. But I would like to name it after one of my brothers. Preferably Yazoo."

I knew he had a bond with him. "Well, I was thinking of Alexander for a boy, and Olivia for a girl."

"Alexander Yazoo. Not bad at all. But Olivia Yazoo? No way."

"We can use the first part of the name for her middle name. How about Yazmin? It's Middle-Eastern, and fills the criteria."

"Olivia Yazmin. What about a last name?"

"Well... You don't have a last name, do you?"

"No."

"Then we'll just have to use mine. Which means that you'll have to take my name as well, when we get married. Furthermore, you need an Earth name too. 'Kadaj' and 'Jadak' just won't work."

"What about 'Tommy?'" he asked, grinning. "Remember that day?"

"How could I ever forget it?" She smiled fondly at him, then continued. "I think you should be named 'Kenneth,' or 'Ken' for short."

"Why's that?"

"The meaning seems to fit you. The name means 'born of fire,' or 'handsome, comely.' And God knows you are."

He put a possessive hand on her knee. "Good to see that you noticed, Laura. Fine. I will be Ken Kerrington."

"Kerrington only once we get married, Kadaj. And our baby will be either Alexander Yazoo or Olivia Yazmin. Alex or Livia for short."

"Yeah." He returned his attention to the television. All four of them were now playing Scenes from a Hat. "I don't really understand what's going on here."

"Give it some time, Kadaj. Sooner or later, you'll get it."

LKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLK

"So who exactly is this Denise? I mean, how will I know who to look for?" Kadaj asked, sticking close to Laura as they entered the airport. All these people staring at him are making him nervous, especially since he looks so much like...well...like himself. She had to admit that he looked entirely too much like himself, despite the fact that she had gone out and bought him some normal street clothes, and he was wearing those rather than the leather one-piece he had arrived in. The hair and the eyes made him distinct. Contact lenses, maybe. But that hair's not getting touched. It would be a sin to dye it some other color.

"Denise is... Well, leave looking for her to me. I know who to look for." Laura led him to Terminal 15, where Denise's plane would be landing. "Anyway, she should be out in a few minutes. Let's just wait over here, ok?"

He nodded, and let her lead him to the hideous orange seats. Laura pointedly ignored the lustful gazes the various beautiful young women threw at him, instead making sure her left hand was prominantly displayed so the silver ring he had picked out, set with a single ruby with a pearl on either side of it, was perfectly obvious. Several of the bimbos frowned and turned away when they realized the significance of the engagement ring; others nodded to her in a wordless expression of respect. Laura merely grinned. That's right, bitches. This gorgeous piece of male perfection is mine.

It was about fifteen minutes before a voice came over the loudspeaker, announcing that Flight 437 would be arriving from Cape Hatteras, North Carolina shortly. When that happened, Laura stopped the glaring contest she had been having with a living, breathing Barbie doll and turned her attention to the terminal entrance, watching for her friend.

A line of people streamed by them, most of the women and some of the men turning to look at the silver-haired hunk sitting by the entrance. Laura bristled when one of them lifted his hand in the unmistakable "call me" gesture, his eyes fixed on her man. To his credit, Kadaj blushed and looked away, his eyes going immediately to find her for reassurance. Aww, I didn't realize he could look so cute when he blushes. Hell, I didn't even know he was capable of blushing! She tightened her hand on his and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Don't pay them any attention, baby. All you need is a gold band on your finger, and they'll be jealous rather than undressing you with their eyes."

"I know." He still looked more than a little uncomfortable, but slightly better than he had been a moment ago. "I stick out like a sore thumb."

"Trust me, you wouldn't be the first person to do so." She nodded to a guy in a leather jacket walking by, dripping with silver chains and piercings, his dark hair spiked high above his head. "See what I mean?"

"I think so." He looked at the terminal as someone called Laura's name. "I think your friend might be here."

Laura stood up to check; sure enough, Denise was pushing her way through the crowd, duffel bag slung over one shoulder. She waved her hands above her head, signaling her location to the other woman. Denise waded through the river of people, throwing her arms around her friend in greeting.

"Laura! How have you been, girl?"

She returned the hug, unable to keep the smile off her face. "I've been fine, Denise. Just some morning sickness, but nothing I can't handle." She took a step back to take in her best friend. Denise had always been the more attractive of the two of them, a beautiful half-Lakota Souix woman with long black hair and smooth, caramel-colored skin. Her emerald eyes were a gift from her mother, and they only made her all the more alluring. Denise also had nearly as many cartilage piercings as Laura, and a diamond stud through her right nostril. And Laura knew that there was a tattoo of a pronghorn antelope on her left shoulder, a graceful animal that Denise adored. She was currently clad in an embroidered white peasant top and a tan leather skirt, matching boots covering her legs up to her knees. "Jeez, Denise. You'd never be able to tell that you've had a baby!"

"A hundred crunches a day does wonders for your physique," the other woman agreed, running a hand down her flat stomach with a smile. "So where's this mystery man of yours? Knowing you, he's got to be a looker!"

"He is. I would never settle for anything less than perfect." Laura turned and beckoned to Kadaj, who stood up and put his arm around her waist. She couldn't help grinning like a fool when Denise's jaw dropped. "Denise, this is my fiance, Ken. Ken, this is my best friend, Denise."

"Hello, Denise," Kadaj said, a smug smile ghosting along his lips.

Denise had to swallow before she could answer. "Damn, Laura. I knew you could sniff out gorgeous guys, but daaaaammmn. Where did you find one this handsome?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's nothing compared to your husband. But he's just right for me." She snaked her arm around his waist possessively. Why hasn't she noticed the resemblence yet? There's no possible way she could miss it!

She laughed. "You're right. There's not a man alive who could compare to my Jim. But hey, a girl's allowed to look, ain't she?"

"True. So true."

"So when's the baby due, anyway?" Denise inquired, leading the way to the baggage claim. She grabbed her suitcase as it slid down the ramp and followed Laura out to the entrance.

"Six months from now, in November. Gonna have a little Scorpio, from the looks of things. That'll be fun. C'mon, the car's this way."

LKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLKLK

With the radio blaring out Motely Crue, it immediately seemed to Laura that her day returned to the college-feel she always experienced when hanging out with Denise. Kadaj had relinquished the front seat to the visitor, and was currently lounging in the backseat, grumbling about how he needed to buy a motorcycle if he was going to get anywhere in this city. Denise had rolled her window down and was hanging her arm out, fingers clutching at the roof. Over the cover of the music, she leaned closer to Laura. "Hey, you do realize that you netted a cosplayer, don't you? He's a Kadaj-wannabe!"

Laura grinned ferally. "Denise, you have no idea. No fuckin' clue."

"You mean he's obsessed?"

"Not exactly. Let's just say that sometimes, I have this feeling that he really is Kadaj."

Denise snorted. "Well, he certainly looks the part. Even sounds like him. And where did he get those contacts? I swear, they're dead ringers for Kadaj's eyes!"

Laura shrugged, continuing to weave her way through traffic and not looking at her friend. "I don't mind, though. Kadaj is my favorite character in the movie." She caught Kadaj's questioning glance in the rearview mirror, and shook her head quickly. He nodded and returned to watching out the window.

"Doesn't he ever take that wig off, though? I mean, it's kinda silly to wear it when he's not in full costume."

She grinned, and rattled off a sentance in Pig Latin. "Ust-jay ry-tay o-tay ake-tay it-ay off-ay im-hay. I-ay are-day ou-tay." Denise grinned, then turned and grabbed a fistful of Kadaj's silvery hair, pulling as hard as she could.

The music helped muffle his yelp a little, but not much. Laura caught the look in her fiance's eyes, and honestly thought that he was going to kill her for a moment. But then he saw the shock on Denise's face, and just burst out laughing. "Laura, I can't get the wig off!" she blurted.

Laura joined in a moment later. "Denise, what were you expecting? He doesn't wear a wig! Anyway, we're here."

"Oh." Denise got out of the car and went to the trunk as Laura popped it, grabbing her suitcase and duffel and heading towards the apartment building, uncharacteristically silent. Kadaj ambushed Laura as soon as she lifted herself off the seat, jerking her against him and yanking her hair as hard as he could. Her head snapped back as she let out a howl of pain.

"Now you know how it feels," he said smugly, releasing the dark brown strands but not relinquishing his grip on her waist. "Tell you what. I'll make it up to you later, after she's gone to bed, okay?"

"Kadaj, you know how noisy we both get. There's no way she could avoid hearing us!"

He released her and walked towards the apartments, casting her a naughty look over his shoulder. "Guess that means we'll have to keep it quiet, won't we?"

Which means he's going to be putting twice as much effort as usual into making me scream. Damn, am I even going to survive that?

Challenge accepted, baby. Challenge accepted.