Disclaimer: If I don't own Syfy, I don't own Alice. If I don't own Alice, then I don't own Hatter. If I don't own Hatter, then I can't have his hat. The world is unfair sometimes…
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Badgering Broker
The emissary from Jack arrived the next day, thankfully while Hatter was in his office with the door closed.
Workers were in the main room, bolting tables down to the floor and making sure that all the rigging in the catwalk above the dance floor was secure. Hatter wanted everything perfect for when the first of the inspections happened that afternoon.
Hatter noticed a faint ripple in the Looking Glass a second before a body fell out of it. A young man, dressed in a crisp white suit landed on the carpet. (Apparently Alice wasn't the only one who had problems with travel via the Looking Glass.) Hatter quickly reasoned that the man had to have been sent by Jack. No one else ever wore white suits in Wonderland except for those who served the monarch. White suits were just too terribly impractical.
Hatter helped the man off the floor and smiled as he realized just how messy it would have been if the man had arrived in his other office. That white suit wouldn't have survived the grass and dirt.
The man looked surprised to see his surroundings, and even more surprised that there was someone holding onto his elbow to help him to his feet. He backed up a step, causing Hatter's hand to slip off his arm.
"Are you Hatter?" He asked. The cadence of his speech made Hatter realize just how much he missed how people spoke in Wonderland. There was a lilt to a Wonderland accent that was sadly missing from the typical New Yorker's speech.
Hatter smirked. He was after all dressed in clothes that he had brought from Wonderland. Not that this man probably knew the styles were different here. Come to think of it, Hatter hadn't seen one person wearing a white suit since he arrived in this world.
"Why else do you think I'm wearing the hat?" Hatter touched the brim, bringing the young man's attention to it.
The man looked flustered for a moment.
"Of course," he cleared his throat, "I'm Broker." He pulled out a pen and notebook from the inside of his suit coat. "The King sent me to oversee this business enterprise. And to make sure that everything was going according to the schedule that he predetermined."
Hatter thought that this man might possibly be more pompous than Jack was. Unless of course Jack was the one who claimed that he had "predetermined" everything.
"Well, we had better go look around then." Hatter started towards the door of his office. Too bad neither Alice nor Duchess would be there to help him antagonize Broker. Antagonizing people seemed to be Duchess's new favorite sport.
He led the man out into the main part of the club, hoping that the workers wouldn't notice that two men were coming out of the office when only one had gone in the entire morning.
"The decorating scheme leaves something to be desired." Broker said, noting that down in his book. Each detail of the club was met with similar remarks. The bathrooms were too drafty, the exposed ventilation shafts and piping in the ceiling were "not aesthetically pleasing," everything was at fault. Each time the pen dipped and bobbed towards the paper, Hatter felt like ripping the notepad apart.
"Have no accommodations been constructed for the workers?" Broker questioned in all seriousness. Hatter tried not to laugh at him.
"I'll find places for them to live." He said softly enough that the men putting in the tables wouldn't overhear. Surely dealing with Broker couldn't be worse than dealing with inspectors in this world. Could it?
"I believe that this is the conclusion of my inspection. But the King also wanted me to check in on a young woman named…" he consulted his notepad, "Duchess. The King seems to have an interest in her case."
Of course Jack had an interest in Duchess. He had gotten her knocked up. If he didn't have an interest, Hatter might have had to go hit him again. At least the bastard was making some effort. Come to think of it, he probably should have hit Jack with that stick when the man interrupted when Hatter first tried to kiss Alice.
Hatter quickly spoke to one of the men, explaining that he was going to be gone for a little while. He locked his office door. It wouldn't do to have someone poking around the Looking Glass.
"I hope you can keep up." Hatter walked out of the club, not caring if Broker was behind him or not. The twists and turns to the apartment were confusing even for Hatter after almost two months of living there. If Broker got lost, it would be impossible for him to find his way. Hatter decided that it wouldn't exactly be his fault if the Wonderlander went missing.
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Alice flopped down on the couch with a can of Sprite in her hand. It was wonderful to just sit down and relax; not having to worry about any surprises that Hatter might have in store for her. He had been pleased enough with her reaction to the club.
"You know, I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they arrive." Duchess said. They had been talking about what they were going to do with the refugees once they started coming through the Glass.
"I'm just worried that some of them aren't going to be able to fit in." Duchess and Hatter had done really well, but that didn't guarantee that every one would be able to adapt so quickly. It wasn't going to be easy to be in charge of making sure they knew how to function in this world.
Hatter walked in the door, hanging up his hat on the rack that he had purchased specifically for that purpose.
"It turns out we've got a guest. Seems that Jack doesn't think that I can keep things in order on this side of the Glass." Alice was fairly certain that she was the only one who realized just how angry Hatter was. He didn't really show anger generally, but she could see it in the set of his jaw. Something was really bothering him.
"Now Hatter, that is untrue. The King trusts you implicitly with all matters in this world. He said that you and one Alice Hamilton, are the only two people he trusts to see that his work is carried out here." A man stepped into the apartment behind Hatter. Alice's eyes widened. She had only ever seen a white suit in movies, or at a wedding, but never in real life. This man wore his entirely white ensemble without even having the decency to look concerned with the fact that he stuck out in this world like a sore thumb.
No wonder Hatter was upset. At least when he wore clothes that didn't fit in, he was able to pass it off as a fashion statement instead of a fashion faux-pas.
"I'm so glad that I have Jack's vote of confidence." said Duchess, raising her glass of water to the visitor. Alice cringed, realizing that Duchess's name had been left off the list of people that Jack trusted. "So, this is Jack's creature." She stood up to get a closer look at the man.
"Excuse me, but why are you all speaking so informally of the King?" Alice smothered a laugh. None of them were going to answer that question. At least not for some low level lackey who didn't even recognize who Duchess was.
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"Broker, meet Duchess. She's the one that you were sent to see." Hatter gestured to the blonde.
"Ah, very well then." Broker turned to Duchess, giving her his best false smile. At least that's what Hatter thought it might be, since the man's face looked like it was about to break in half. "I am supposed to inquire as to your health and situation." Broker said politely.
Duchess snorted. It wasn't a sound that Hatter had ever expected the poised woman to make. But, then again, this white clad man was an idiot.
"You can tell Jack that I'm healthy, generally happy, and not interested in his crap." Hatter decided that he was going to buy Duchess a present for that comment, something shiny and preferably quite large. He had been wanting to tell Broker off since he arrived, but had been stopping himself.
"Ah, well…" Broker straightened his tie nervously. "Hatter, the King also asked that I give you this." The man pulled a sheaf of papers from his breast pocket and handed it to Hatter, who passed it along to Alice, while the man looked on in confusion. "If you would so kindly escort me back to the Looking Glass, I will be on my way."
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When Hatter and Broker were out the door, Duchess and Alice started to giggle.
"You know, you really should stop watching daytime television." Alice finally got out. Duchess smiled at her.
"I don't know. I think it's helping me get the hang of life here." Alice shook her head, still smiling at her friend.
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AN:
Jack finally sends someone through the Glass to check on them. Too bad that Broker is an utter idiot… I think that the character Broker is mostly inspired by reading "Good Omens" by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. If you haven't read that book and you enjoy super cynical comedy, you should pick it up.
Now that Jack knows he'll be able to send people through soon, we should be introduced to a few more Wonderlanders.
Any questions or comments? I am always willing to read through reviews.