Round Eight
This realization
This horrifying knowledge
Flooded my mind
In every waking moment
For the next few days
I kept interaction with
Everyone to a minimum
I couldn't look at her
Touch her
Speak to her
I wouldn't even insult her
Wouldn't dare try to keep up the act
Our act
My act
The truth was
I couldn't go to sleep
If I slept at all
Without thoughts of her
And of my failure flickering through my brain
Memories dancing behind my eyes
A silent movie
Silent
Silent
Until I cursed into my charmed curtains
Just to fill the air
I didn't go to the library
By this point
I'm positive
Hermione knew something was amiss
I didn't care
I continued my path of introversion

And shame

No

Malfoy's do not feel shame

Fuck it

I felt shame
I let myself fall into her trap

But there are appearances to think of
And I'd be damned if I let her know

But one day
A simple, ordinary day
Exactly like all the days preceding it
I decided I had had enough
I had regained some of my confidence
I had successfully avoided Hermione
With no one suspecting anything

Other than a familiar Malfoy ill temper
I decided to go

Sit in the library

Challenge her

That minx

Midday

Hardly anyone was there

I sat at the table

Our table

Her table

She appeared

Moving so softly

And looked at me with such

Horror

And fear

And anger?
She tried to run from me

But I have always been the faster

The stronger

Her back against the shelves

(So like the night we kissed)

Face to face

One hand around her tiny wrists

One on her soft skinned chin

Forcing her eyes to mine
Eyes paler than I had ever seen

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

I was surprised at how dead I sounded

How dead I was

Without her

I tightened my hold on her

"Why have you been avoiding me?!"

"You're hurting me"

She all but spat at me

I loosened my grip

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I never meant to hurt her

Wait

No

Yes I did

Right?

"I just
I just don't think we should be…friends anymore"

She was inarticulate

"Why not?"
I looked away from her eyes

I couldn't look at her anymore

Let her go

Tried not to care
Failed

"Why did you carry me all the way form Potions?
Why did you stay all night?
No one else did that
Why should you?"

I sat on the floor

At her feet

She sat beside me

Down to my level

Taking my hand in hers
I looked in her eyes

Warming now

Not so pale

Not so cold
And we sat in silence

"I hated the thought of anyone else touching you
I was…worried for some damn reason
and all I could think was
'if she isn't okay someone is going to die'"

I was stuttering

Malfoy's never stutter

I stutter

She smiled up at me

Condescending

"It was only a fainting spell"

"I know that

I just freaked out"

"I freaked out after I found out"

What?

"Why?"

"I realized something."

I watched her face

Letting her finish

Almost holding my breath

Still

"I don't want us to be friends."

I started to protest

I didn't even have a thing to say

Just opened my mouth to say
Something
Rambling nothing something
And then she kissed me

And after I realized I didn't have to think about talking

I kissed her back
It was earnest and fervent
completely unlike our
hasty, lustful kisses
It was our first real kiss
Since I cornered her in the library so long ago
Her fingers twisted through my hair

And I pulled her towards me

Curling her little cat body into my lap

And she was perfect

And I had lost
"Damnit woman
You win. I lost a long time ago."
She smiled

Gently

"We'll call it a tie."
Minx
The only thing left to do
Was kiss her senseless