A/N: I know it's been a while. I explained in one of my other author's notes that I got a new job last week, crazy awesome, writing for pay now. But it's a lot of time and energy! But I got this chapter done.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
Ya gotta understand
It's just the bringing up-ke
That gets us outta hand – Action, West Side Story, Act II, Scene II

Stephanie sighed sitting across the table from Aaron and Reese.

"I didn't," Reese giggled.

"Yeah, you did," Aaron repeated. Reese giggled some more and kissed him. Stephanie groaned. She didn't even know what they were teasing each other over. Nor did she particularly care. She was glad they were happy and all, she just hated having that happiness forced on her. Mostly because she knew Reese just loved dangling Aaron in front of her, the same way she used to TJ. Why Aaron had to invite Reese to spend Christmas with them was beyond her. "Reese, come on," Aaron said, sensing Steph's discomfort. Stephanie smiled. It was nice that he could still just tell when she wasn't feeling right. "So when's TJ coming?"

"Um, the 27th," Stephanie said. "Sorry, you're stuck with me until then."

"Oh Stephie, you're not a burden!" Reese said. "I feel awful intruding on Christmas, I know how special it is to you two." Stephanie nodded.

"Yeah, well," Stephanie shrugged. "I'm just going to go see if I can bug Mikey." Aaron nodded and she wandered into the restricted area of the half constructed new, Café CE, and heard Julie and Mikey yelling at each other. She smiled. It was the good kind of yelling and arguing all about how to make this place, their parent's place, the best it could be.

"Oh Steph," Denise ran over, "thank God, someone who doesn't care if we use white china or clear glass for the salad plates!" Stephanie laughed, and put her arm through Denise's. She liked the little blonde, and she was glad that she and Mikey were trying to work through whatever it was they were going through.

"Really?" Stephie said. "They're yelling like that over plates?"

"Oh it started about plates," Denise rolled her eyes, "now they're talking about 1980," she sighed, "Neither of them were alive, so I don't know what the point is!"

"It's a hockey thing," Stephanie rolled her eyes. Denise nodded. She glanced over at the corner booth, always the most important of any of Julie's restaurants, the one that was dedicated to Cal and Elyse and smiled. This whole restaurant was dedicated to them, so the corner booth was entitled "Favorite Things."

"You're named after the man for God's sake!" Julie said walking in.

"Yes, because that is clearly the sign of a man's greatness," Mikey said, "he was our dad's idol when he was fifteen."

"All I'm saying is you've always deeply undervalued goaltending as an art," Julie argued back.

"You're a goalie, your opinion is skewed!" He said. "Ask your husband a good goalie is useless without defense."

"You know what," Julie said. "You're fired." She stopped. "Hi Stephie."

"Hey," Stephanie said. "And they couldn't have won in '80 without Craig, Mikey," she knew this argument by heart.

"I'm not saying he wasn't a great player!" Mikey insisted. "I'm just saying that goalies are probably the least integral part of a winning squad."

"Yeah, you know who you should tell that to?" Julie said.

"Gunnar Stahl," Mikey and Stephie said at the same time.

"Exactly," she said. "If it weren't for a certain not so integral goalie, he'd have an international championship, not just a second rate NHL career."

"We know," Mikey groaned.

"I'm confused," Denise frowned.

"Keep it that way," Stephanie said. "Else you set Julie into a revelry about her glory days as Team USA's goalie."

"Wait, did you like go to Nagano or something?" Denise asked. Julie laughed.

"Yeah, my father wished," Julie rolled her eyes.

"Cal?" He sat up in bed as Carmen pattered into the guest room where he was sleeping.

"Hey," he said. "What are you doing here?" She giggled and climbed into bed with him. "Oh," he laughed. "I'm not sure this is a good plan honey. I mean, your parents,"

"I just want to sleep in your arms," she said. "This doesn't mean anything." He nodded as she kissed him and snuggled close. Carmen was, as ever, something of a mystery. She seemed more of a little girl here, surrounded by big dark cousins and uncles, all who doted on her and chattered to her in Spanish and called him "Blondie." Her parents were nice though. Luis Mendoza asked interesting questions about his mother and about Aunt Julie. He even asked if his cousin was still dating Allie Sanders's son, which he thought was kind of odd, he'd answered no, Eddie Cole was trouble. "Like his mother then." Had been Luis's answer, which made Olivia laugh. He'd noticed that Carmen was a great deal like her mother, Olivia was also quiet and intense and withholding. But clearly it worked, because the pair of them were as in love as his own parents, and he'd never seen another married couple like that, even his aunts and uncles.

"Cal," she whispered and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, they both realized it was the first time they'd said it out loud, although it had been implied between them a hundred times. She snuggled closer and started drifting off. He kissed her cheek and she scrunched her nose. He laughed. "Carmen," he said.

"Mm," she cooed, burying her face deeper into his chest.

"Why did you invite me?" He asked. She blinked and looked at him.

"Because I couldn't even think about not being with you for three weeks!" She said. He smiled. "Why do you think I invited you?"

"Lost a bet?" He shrugged. She kissed him.

"I hate when you tease," she frowned. He laughed. "Why did you say yes?"

"Because the thought of not having to deal with Anne and Hunter and their crap was far too tempting," he said. "And also the 'I love you,' thing." She smiled and kissed him again before falling asleep.

"It gets worse at night," Eva whispered. TJ nodded, although he couldn't imagine how it could possibly get worse. Bella's sobs were constant and deadly. She hadn't left her room in twenty four hours, and when Eva or Cassie or himself had gone in there she screamed for them to go. Bella had always been of a dramatic bent, and "deeply sensitive," but this, TJ was sure, had to be the most extreme. Even when she broke up with Eddie it hadn't been this bad. What was driving them all kind of crazy was that they didn't know what happened. They assumed it was a fight with Gordon, but no one knew for sure. For his part, TJ couldn't wait to hop on a plane to Vegas. Even Aaron and Reese would be an improvement over this.

"Some Christmas," he mumbled. Eva nodded.

"Is she still moping?" Rick said walking in.

"Dad, I think it's more than that," Eva said. He rolled his eyes. "Really, maybe, you guys should get her some help."

"She'll cry herself out," he shrugged. "She did with Eddie." He walked upstairs.

"I don't get it," TJ said. "It's his Bella, his precious most perfect jewel child."

"Yeah, the jewel's tarnished," Eva rolled her eyes. "You've been in New York, you haven't seen it. They don't just agree all the time anymore, and he hates Gordon, for no good reason which drives her crazy. She pushes the boundaries because there's no other way she can exist which makes him crazy. I'm surprised Mom's not using it's so strained. If it weren't for David I'd go crazy."

"Hey," David walked into the Conway's. Gordon was sitting on the couch.

"Hey," Gordon said glumly.

"Get up," David said. Gordon looked at him. "We're going for a drive and I'm gonna tell you a little something about Riley women."

"I don't want to hear about her, or think about her, or talk about her," Gordon grumbled. David nodded and sat down.

"No drive then," he said. "And who said anything about her? I'm going to tell you a little story about how I'm kind of a coward."

"Dude," Gordon said. "You're moving here because Eva doesn't want to leave her parents. You're the bravest man I know."

"See, about five years ago, not so brave," David said. "I went to Paris, the first time, for school, it was a huge opportunity. I was living in New York, um, again, school and before I left Eva came and visited. She was sixteen." Gordon looked at him. "And that was her first time, and I left and I wrote her a letter. Basically saying that we should go back. And back she went."

"I don't understand," Gordon said.

"She went away too," he smiled. "To California, to Mikey." Gordon nodded.

"Oh," he said. "I didn't know that they ever," David nodded. "That explains some stuff. But I don't understand,"

"They cling," David explained. "They hold on until their nails bleed no matter how much it hurts. And it hurts. It hurts them, it hurts the people they're clinging too, it hurts the people who love them, but they do it anyway."

"And you just live with the pain?" Gordon said. "That was your choice, not mine! I'm not living like that!"

"So don't," David shrugged. "But then you live without her. That's your choice."

"I haven't made a choice yet," Gordon frowned.

"Pretty soon it's going to get made for you," David said. "Eddie Cole won't wait around until she's actually ready for him to be there. He never has. He was just always there."

"If she wants him, she can have him," Gordon said. David smiled. "What?"

"She doesn't want him," David said. "She wants that feeling she used to have. That feeling of someone who knows her inside out."

"I'll never know her like that!" Gordon said.

"No one else ever could," David said. "Come on, you get it more than most people." Gordon screwed up his face. "Does your dad hold it against your mom when Guy's here? When there's something that he just doesn't understand in between them?" Gordon swallowed. "Does Gabrielle hold it against him? Does it make you, or Connie or Casey or Adelle any less real or loved?"

"I don't have a car," Gordon said softly. David nodded. "You said something about taking a drive."

Bella lay in bed, shoving a pillow in her mouth to stifle the sobbing. Why did it hurt? It hadn't hurt like this before! It wouldn't go away either. No matter how much she cried, or wished it would, it wouldn't go away. It hadn't felt like this when Eddie was gone. Maybe it was because she'd denied for so long that that was real. But Gordon, just thinking his name brought fresh tears and sobs. Fresh pain, over her own shrieks and sobs she heard the door open.

"Eva, I said no," she screeched. She knew that "Demon Bella" as her family called it, this thing inside of her was out in full force now. But she didn't care, would the demon eat the pain? She would trade it, trade every ounce of civilization and kindness to make the pain go away.

"Bella this is ridiculous," Cassie said and turned the lights on. "Get out of bed and get dressed." She sniffed the air. "And take a shower first. We're going to your grandparent's for dinner."

"Riley or Turner?" Bella sniffed as her mother sat down and wiped her eyes.

"Turner, unfortunately," Cassie said. "But command appearance, so up and at 'em. If it were Riley, I'd give you another night of whatever this is." Bella sniffed. "Now, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," Bella mumbled. "I was selfish and stupid and now I'm being punished." Cassie sighed. She'd rather not sort through Bella's melodrama that evening.

"You are not stupid or selfish," Cassie said. Bella swallowed. "Well, maybe a little selfish. But you're seventeen, you're entitled." She pushed her hair behind her shoulders. "What happened with Gordon?"

"I've been seeing Eddie," Bella said. "Sort of, since I got sick," Cassie sighed. "How did you do it?"

"Do what honey?" Cassie asked, picking up a brush and carefully running it through her tangled hair.

"Love Daddy all that time," Bella sighed, "I mean in high school." Cassie laughed and kissed her on the forehead.

"It wasn't always easy," she said. "Your father is a difficult man to love sometimes. He's stubborn, and short sighted, he can be selfish." Bella swallowed. "You're like him that way. You know that he and Allie were together, don't you?" She stared at her. "Mm hm, our senior year, before he and I got together. That was probably the hardest." Bella swallowed. She'd never known that. "I had my own issues then though." Cassie laughed. "It was worth it, in the end though, all of the hurt, all of the waiting. I think that happy ending is what Eddie's counting on." Bella swallowed. "But the difference was your dad and I both wanted it. Do you want it, Bella?"

"A happy ending?" Bella said. "Of course!" But she wasn't sure what that meant exactly. What did her happy ending look like? She wasn't sure it even involved a boy. She knew it meant being a lawyer, living on the east coast, but was Gordon there, or Eddie? She didn't know.

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