A/N: Okay, I said id update every Monday and Tuesday, I give up, I write when I write and if I am forced into writing with a time limit, I am no good. However, the reviews and subscriptions really help with spurring me on.
Also you may notice two different type of writing techniques in here, that's because I and LilMsSugarRush helped me write in this. A lot. Heres to longer chapters! (:
The fantasy BPOV
Chapter3 – Almost lover
*4 weeks later*
The early daylights fought through the cracks in the blinds and I found myself blearily opening my eyes to greet another day of purgatory with Edward. The most unfortunate thing about this morning in particular was that I really needed to use the lavatory and Edward's muscular, tattooed arm was once again barring me from doing anything of my own free will.
I squirmed as much as possible to rid myself of his heavy arm across my stomach without waking up but it was useless. I was never going to be free of Edward. Ever. I sighed realizing once again like I did every day that I was
Edward's cute little sex slave and housekeeper.
My only job in life was to sweep and cook every day and spread my legs every night. It hurts to even have the memories of how it was before when Edward was still a kind man. It hurt to have him forcibly push his way inside me, telling me I was his whore when he used to be satisfied with holding me in his arms all night and saying that he loved me.
These memories were just like a cancer, working their way through me and like a heart with blood, these memories pumped through me with every abusive situation I was thrust into.
I used to love Edward, I really did but he had become this monster, this vindictive cruel scum. I couldn't even really pretend with him anymore and I think he knew it. I think he was well aware that I had grown to hate him and his bipolar actions.
I sighed once again when I knew that in order to be free of Edward in order to even urinate I would have to pretend, once again, that I loved this side of him.
I curled myself into his body and it was like drinking the most dangerous venom in the world. I kissed my way up his body, up past his pecs where he "lovingly" tattooed Bella and up to his lips when I felt him smile against my reluctant lips and flip me over.
I could feel his hardness in between my legs and I knew that this morning would be one of those please Edward and not be pleased too days. He immediately thrust inside of me, gripping my fragile hips painfully with his pincer hands. I winced as the feeling of being completely dry during 'sex' wasn't the best feeling in the world.
His hot breath invaded my ear as he whispered to me. "Morning love, what a good little girl you are thinking of serving me so early in the morning."
I didn't respond to him, I knew it would be better that way to remain silent and just endure his love. The bed bounced in time with Edward's deep thrusts and I closed my eyes in self-anger with the sad fact that I was slowly getting damp from Edward's movements.
Edward, of course, whose cock grew bigger inside me bit my earlobe hard and growled out at me through his orgasm. "Yeah baby you love my cock yeah, don't you, my little slut?"
I faked my release once again as I did a Kegel exercise around his slowly softening dick inside me. He gave me a sloppy kiss and I almost began crying from the pain in my bladder. I really needed to go now and he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily.
"You did great this morning, baby girl." I internally rolled my eyes.
This was Edward's idea of a compliment. I tried to endure his weight for a bit longer before I whispered, "Edward, I need to get up please."
He chuckled at me like I was just some disobedient little girl. "No sweetie, let's relax this morning."
Tears were pouring out of my eyes as I begged him to let me go. After about five minutes of him on top of me and pointless pleading, my body was shaking as
I let loose on the bed. Unfortunately for me, Edward had not removed his unwelcome dick from me and it had gotten all wet for once from me.
It was almost comical as he sprang from the bed and started shouting at me.
He pulled the wet covers from the bed with me still in them and I crashed into the floor onto Edward's hard gun. I crawled away from the bed and the covers rubbing my head as Edward continued his verbal barrage onto me.
"YOU ARE SUCH AN INCAPABLE LITTLE BITCH! YOU MANAGED TO TURN A NICE DAY INTO A SHITTY ONE JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!" He stomped towards me and pulled me up to eye level by my hair.
The tears that had started in the bed hadn't stopped and flowed down my cheeks and onto my bare chest as I stared deep into the emerald eyes of evil.
"I have to go to a meeting this morning, I expect all the laundry to be done and dinner made before I arrive home. Since you aren't capable of keeping linens clean, you aren't to wear any clothing today. Don't forget, I have the neighbours watching you and they won't hesitate to call me if you disobey me, do you understand?"
I nodded and he slapped me across the face and dropped me in response. While he showered and dressed quickly, I just sat there, comatose next to the bed. I couldn't even bring myself to cry as he slammed the door behind him.
I sighed deeply as I stood up and stripped the bed of the cases and grabbed the wet ones from the floor. With arms full, I pondered down the stairs and into the wash room at the end of the hallway. I loaded the washing machine and walked out into the kitchen. I wiped the tears that were continually falling from my eyes.
Even after all of these years, I still couldn't help but by shocked every time he got really abusive. It was still hard to try and see how the sweet little boy became a crime hardened wife-beater. As stupid as it was, I still loved him. I know that sounds confusing but I don't love what I like to call Mafia ward, in fact I hated him.
He was a swarmy bastard who only knew how to hurt people. I did love the small little fraction of Edward, my boyfriend, the one I fantasized about marrying when I was seventeen. He was the man who would remember that today was my birthday unlike Mafia ward.
I shook the last of the tears from my eyes and headed into the shower to clean myself off. My next mistake of the day was looking into the mirror. The pale, bruised, and skinny girl didn't belong in a beautiful, pristine white bathroom.
The girl whose reflection I was looking at had arms that resembled white birch tree branches from years of starvation as punishment. The only parts of her body that remained lively looking were her breasts and her hips, both of which seemed larger than usual to her discerning eyes. Her eyes had deep bruises underneath them. Her whole body was bruised all over, and though it was not entirely visible she knew her 'Edward' tattoo was lying there near her lower lips as a permanent reminder of Edward's reign over her life.
She would never be clean, her body - and since she was sadly my reflection, my body - would be forever marked by Edward Cullen and with a frown I entered my temporary oasis and showered. After drying off I realized that remaining nude all day would be severely uncomfortable.
As I walked back into the bedroom of my nightmares and stripped the bed completely of its soiled linens, I remembered life before Edward. A time back
when I was shy beyond belief, back then I would have flushed like a schoolgirl at the thought of any man seeing too much of my cleavage, let alone my whole body but now I was only mildly uncomfortable strolling about my prison in the buff. Edward had done everything he could to strip me of any and all freedoms.
I shoved the once white sheets into the washing machine and went to the linen closet to put a new set of Egyptian cotton sheets onto the bed. The small silver mobile on my nightstand started flashing a bright light and vibrating, signalling a text or call from Edward. I rolled my eyes at the simple fact that I didn't even need to look at the screen to know who it was. Nobody else had my number.
I flipped the phone open to reveal a message from Edward.
Meeting is over. Felix Volturi has fucked w/ the wrong man. Be home in 1 hour.
Bringing food. Cullen.
I almost laughed at his impersonal text but sobered with the reality that he would be pissed when he got home. Fuck. I hurried about the house, setting a fire, sweeping, dusting, and generally cleaning the entire place.
Exactly one hour later when I heard the car door slam, I immediately ran downstairs and prepared a whiskey sour for Edward and kneeled by the door as he preferred me to be when he arrived home on a bad day. Once the front door slammed he pulled the glass out of my hand and stomped over to his favourite armchair by the fire.
I didn't dare speak but silently went to kneel next to his side as he threw me a McDonald's bag. The overwhelming smell of the grease turned my nose up and I ran into the bathroom, closely followed by an infuriated Edward. I heaved my guts into the porcelain bowl as Edward sat on the rim of the bathtub, always having to be higher up than myself.
"What the fuck do you think your doing, Bella?" he said with a sour edge on his voice.
"The smell… it's horrible… please-"I cut off, barfing, even thinking about the smell churned my stomach. We sat there for what I guess was the good part of 10 minuets. My eyes started closing of their own accord and I was more than content to fall asleep there and then, until Edward nudged me with his foot.
"Are you getting up or are you going to sleep on the retched floor?" he asked in an eerily calm voice
"I'm getting up." I replied, my voice harsh and gritty. I stood up, grasping the edge of the bath stabilizing myself, as I walked out, Edward walking behind me.
"Get a fucking drink of water and a bucket from the kitchen and go to bed. I don't want you messing the fucking sheets again." He said as he brushed past me and into the living room, where he sat down and proceeded to pull out a small plastic pocket of what looked like white powder.
I watched him intently with wonder of what he was doing, as he pulled out a credit card and started using that to cut the fine white powder into neat little lines, so typical of the anal retentive fucker. He looked over to me and his eyes narrowed at the sight of me.
"Weren't you fucking listening? Go to bed Bella. If you are not there by the time I count to 60, you will regret it." He said his voice deadly. My breath came out in a harsh squeak where I almost sprinted into the kitchen to get a glass of water and a bucket and dashed upstairs, pulling the door closed behind me. I took a deep breath and walked over to the bed, putting the bucket at the side of the bed and my glass on the floor next to it, and lying down and falling asleep into a restless slumber.
~*~
I felt harsh pinches around my breast accompanied by light kisses on my neck, dampening it with his tongue. I also felt the bile rising up my throat nearing my mouth.
"Edward," I whimpered out in discomfort. He took this as a beg for more and started pinching my nipples that had been free from my naked punishment.
"Please-"I breathed out as he started sucking my pulse point with urgency and he started grinding his prominent erection into my back.
"Stop!" I all but yelled, jolting out of bed, dashing down stairs as I ran into the bathroom and prominently threw up all of the liquids and solids my stomach contained until all I was doing was dry heaving.
Edward walked in and sat on the edge of the bath again. I collapsed over the bowl, sucking in beep breaths. I heard him shuffle and lean down, rubbing my back, comforting me.
"I'll call the doctor; I'll try and get you an appointment today. Go back to bed and I'll wake you with the plans." He said with a soft voice. I stood up and leant into the sink, grabbing my cheap tooth brush and squirted some paste onto it. I began brushing my teeth as Edward stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and leaning his chin on my shoulder. I studied his face. He looked disturbed, he had dark brown bags beneath his eyes, and he looked paler than normal.
I stumbled into bed and was awoken some time later by Edward's gentle shaking of my body. I nearly gasped in surprise; Edward's usual idea of a wake up call was, well, fucking me. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw a grin on Edward's face. Which once again, only served to confuse the hell out of me? I could barely remember the last time he smiled at me but then I recalled that
Edward once wanted to be a father more than anything else in the whole world.
When we were younger, he told me that parenting was the most worthwhile thing someone could do because it was eighteen years and beyond of someone depending on you and needing you. Maybe that part of him didn't change; maybe I had a chance of getting my Edward back.
As I got out of bed, I was greeted by Edward's arms as he led me to his wardrobe and sat me down in the middle of his huge closet. I was completely confused by his actions, questioning myself. Had he ever been this nice to me? A tinge of sadness flooded my system when I realized he was only being nice because he thought I was having his baby.
What would happen to me if I wasn't, or if I was and I miscarried? He would surely beat me to death and scream at me that I wasn't even fit to be a mother, never mind a human being. He returned by my side with a grin and a nice new pair of jeans, a bra & panty set, and a T-shirt. I couldn't even bring myself to take the items from his arms unless it was another one of his tricks so that he could torture me again.
His smile fell and I started to lose hope again. His gruff voice broke the silence. "What's wrong? You don't like your clothes?"
I cocked one of my eyebrows at him suspiciously. Ok, where was Edward and who replaced him with this pod person?
My voice cracked a little bit as I spoke. "No, I love them, I just wasn't sure if I was supposed to wear them."
He chuckled, not evilly for once but in his old honey toned laugh and brought his free hand towards my face. My eyes bugged out then and I involuntarily flinched away from him. He became crestfallen again.
"Why are you so afraid of me?" He whispered brokenly.
Oh no, he did not just ask me that question, did he? I pretended that I wasn't afraid and shook my head. "I'm not scared", I started boldly, taking the bundle of clothes away from him and getting dressed, "I'm just very surprised."
He rolled his eyes at me and gently grabbed my arm to lead me to the doorway where a pair of plain black flats awaited me. My heart started pounding at the prospect of seeing the outdoors without a pane of bullet-proof glass in my way. Once my shoes were on, he swung the door wide open and the sunlight greeted my eyes once more.
We walked a short distance to one of the best hospitals in Chicago and I ignored Edward giving the desk nurse my information as I gazed wildly at all the colours I had missed, living in solitude in that white house. The house itself was very colourful but I had missed so much natural colour like the way light reflects certain colours in people's hair.
Eventually I was led into a room and asked politely to change into a gown. Edward helped me do so and we sat there, me on that weird table like contraption and him on the green upholstered chair next to me. A nurse came in and asked for my symptoms and I could barely speak to her. It had been a terribly long time since I had the opportunity to speak to somebody other than Edward and it was the first day in a long time that I had survived most of the day without Edward yelling at me. She asked me to jump on a scale and she frowned when she saw that I weighed 44.4 kilograms.
"Miss, regardless of being pregnant or not, this simply is not an acceptable weight", she admonished me. I wanted to scream at her that I had no control over my food intake and it surely wasn't my fault that I had been puking out my guts, it was that green eyed demon who filled me with his devil spawn. I felt like giving him a nasty look but knew that didn't bode well for me. No one messed with Chicago's most dangerous gangster.
She led me back to that table thing and pulled two stirrups out from the side. She had me sit in between them and said the doctor would be there shortly.
Edward gave my skinny body a sidelong glance and sighed. For about the fifteenth time today, I had no clue what that crazy fucker was up to.
Just as the nurse promised, a blond haired man in a white lab coat entered shortly with that same nurse at his side. "Now, Mrs. Cullen you believe you may be pregnant?"
I nodded weakly at the man who was inspecting his charts. He handed them to the nurse and snapped a pair of gloves on his hands. He instructed me to lie back on the table and put my feet into the stirrups. I looked over at Edward worriedly who only nodded at me in reassurance. Though any nod of Edward's wasn't really reassuring. I was pretty positive this was a new way to torture me.
I suddenly felt the doctor put his hands up near my lady bits and involuntarily jerked away in fear. Edward grabbed my hand and I knew this was it; he was going to have me killed. I didn't even mean to start crying but the doctor paused when the tears started cascading down my face like rapids.
"It's nothing to worry about, Mrs. Cullen, it's just a small discomfort." he said soothingly and I tried to control the tears. Edward gently squeezed my hand and looked down at me in sorrow. He bent down and started whispering sweet loving into my ear, not that it was doing anything to calm my unease with his mood swings.
With my mind going 100% on Edward, I hadn't even noticed that the doctor had been in and swabbed my cervix with a cotton bud.
"All done," he said, smiling cheerfully, and I let out a wheezy laugh.
He walked to the other side of the room and disposed of the bud and gloves, then walked over to a cabinet under the sink. He pulled out a small plastic jar and put a label on the front. He scribbled something down then walked back over to us and handed me the pot with my name on the paper.
"Ok Mrs. Cullen, if you'd like to redress and go down the hall and into the toilet, fill the canister as much as you can then come back in." he said with a
smile the size of a Cheshire cat. I looked warily at Edwards face, wondering if he'd let me, but he looked back with a crooked grin and helped me off the table.
I shuffled down to the toilets and peed in the pot, sealing it and walking back to the room. Edward was perched on the side of the uncomfortable black and white bed whilst the doctor was a few feet in front. Their positioning looked like they were in the midst of a conversation.
"Oh, speak of the devil, welcome back, Mrs. Cullen." The doctor said, holding out his hand for the cup. I put it in his hand and retreated over to where Edward was sat and he pulled me between his legs, my back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.
The doctor opened the lid off the cup and placed them on the side, walking over to a cupboard and pulling out a tube, where he pulled out a small strip of plastic with a sponge nib. He dunked the plastic into the urine and pulled it out, setting it on the lid. He turned around to us, "I'm just doing a pregnancy test, and your cervix was a slight tinge of blue which is an early indicator of pregnancy."
He turned back around, picking up the strip and comparing it to the back of the tube it came from.
"Congratulations, you're going to be a mother!" he said with a smile on his face.
My heart started pounding as tears welled up in my eyes. I closed them and squeezed them together as Edward hugged me tighter, released me and got up off the table. I opened my damp eyes and saw Edward walking to the doctor, shaking his hand then coming back over, hugging me tightly.
"Now, I'll set up a 3 month ultrasound with the department, and Mrs. Cullen, try and eat some more and get a larger intake of vitamins, with the weight you are, it will be an unhealthy pregnancy and outcome if you don't start taking action now." The doctor said, handing me some leaflets.
Edward took my hand and pulled me out of the room and down the corridors, out of the main street towards home, and all I could think was, what damnation would lay for me and the innocent unborn baby, and wouldwe be able to face it?