Chapter 12: Nerdy Shadowhunters, High Warlocks and Zomblanginanians

Clary's Pov

I came out of the kitchen with an amused, satisfied expression. Now I just needed someone to see Jace and my plan will be complete. As if on cue, Isabelle came up to me and saw a very strange shadowhunter. The shadowhunter had crappy looking, messed up red hair, huge, square lens glasses, and had his shirt tucked in his pants with a strap going up to his shoulders. Not to mention the shadowhunter had a whole bunch of freckles and a sickly pale face. You can't get any less attractive then that! Do you guys still need some more hints? Ok, here it is. Goldilocks! Wink, Wink.

"Hey Alex, whose the nerd," Isabelle asked much to Jace's annoyance. I burst into hysterics, clutching my sides and rolling on the floor like a crazed, mental person. Isabelle looked confused and Jace gave me a death glare. Oh, which reminds me! He doesn't know what I did to him; he has yet to look in the mirror. Muwahaha! I am an evil genius!

"Alexis Anderson, what, may I ask, did you do this time?" Simon's here. Oppsies, I guess I said that out loud. I grinned sheepishly.

"What ever do you mean Slimmy Slimmy Simmy," I replied innocently.

"Why did you laugh and call yourself an evil genius?"

"Well, remember when I made you look like a nerd for an entire month?"

"Ye-You didn't!," he exclaimed.

"Ok, I didn't."

"Who was the victim this time?"

"Oh, you say it like I just committed murder!"

"You committed murder to this person's social status! Not to mention they are going to have to be like that for a month and can't do anything about it!" I laughed.

"Ok, as much as I like hearing this conversation, can you please tell me who the nerd is Alex?" Questioned Isabelle. Hehe, and for the big unveiling!

"Ahem-I'd think that you would know me Izzy! I am, your only god of a brother anyways." Answers Jace, in a nasily and nerdily voice, who has oh so impeccable timing!

"Jace is that you!" Isabelle's eyes bugged out of her head before she crashed on the ground laughing like I had originally done. Sebastian, who had just come from the shadows, had heard the whole conversation, and smirked. He walked up to Jace and gave him a mirror. Jace turned his head down to admire his reflection-

Then came a sudden sound of a hurt manatee. I tried to keep my face straight.

"Is there something wrong Goldilocks-I mean Pippi?"

"My face!!! What happened to my face! –Censored-!#$%&$%^^$!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Damn, someone has a potty mouth.

"Who let a drunken sailor in the Institute?" Asked Maryilyssa. And out come the Englanders.

"Sorry to bother, but we heard an injured manatee." Ah, Brandy is improving. At the pace of a snail, but he's improving non the less!

"It can't be! This must be a nightmare! Jace Wayland, Hunkiest shadowhunter in existence is NOT who is looking at this mirror! This mirror is cursed! It can't be how I look like! Something's wrong with the lighting! "Sebastian plucked out a red hair from Jace's head and showed him it.

"Sorry dude, not a dream." He grinned wickedly as Jace continued to surprise us with his vivid and colorful vocabulary before curling up into a ball holding himself, whimpering for his imaginary mango. Whoa! Wait! *grabs a remote and paused and rewinds time* did he just say he has an imaginary mango?! LMFAO!!! Ok, someone needs some mental help. Or, help from a very unhelpful High warlock of Brooklyn who gives you no charge at all for telling you the obvious! I think I'll go with the second choice. XP I looked back at Jace. Is, is he sucking his thumb?! Just then Alec came out with a baby pacifier and put it in Jace's mouth, which seemed to knock him out. Wow! This situation deserves a

"Wham bam bi polar man!" and a

"Wowza's he sure can turn on the water works."

"Alex, who was that ner-Eh, special person?" Questioned Brandon.

"That, my friend Brandy, is Jace Wayland."

"Um, aren't you guys supposed to be payed to babysit," asked Brandy. Everyone burst into laughter. Sebastian patted his back.

"I think I'm gonna like you man."

"Me too," agreed Simon.

"Well, he's family, I don't have a choice," Said Marylissa. Ah, there's that brotherly sisterly I know so well! Lol.

"Well I think it's time we got some professional help don't you think everybody?" I said to nobody in particular. All their heads bobbed up and down in agreement.

"But who will help us with a-situation as big as this!" snickered Alec.

"There is one person, and one person only that can help us. That is Magnus Bane." I said in my gravest voice. Then the doorbell rang. I went to it and answered the door to see Magnus in a doctor's outfit and a crew of virtual nurses carrying a cart, who then proceeded to lift and push Jace away to the infirmary. The imperious High warlock of Brooklyn looked at us with eyes with both amusement and graveness. He turned and went to check on Jace. He came out 30 minutes later.

"What is the diagnosis doctor Bane?" I said, playing along with the act.

"He seems to have U.N.D. syndrome." He said, just as grave.

"Oh no! Not U.N.D!" I exclaimed.

"Wait, what is U.N.D.," I asked.

"U.N.D. is Ugly nerd denial syndrome." I then burst from my façade and laughed like I would not see tomorrow. Everyone joined and I swear we were so loud people from the planet Zomblangina could here us. Then there was a bright light and some strange person came through.

"Greetings Earthlings-" Said the person before Magnus cut in.

"'Greetings Earthinlings', is such a cliché line! I mean it's been done time and time again. Can't you say something else?" Oh, Magnus has nerve alright!

"G'day Earthlings-"

"G'day really? You stole that from the Australiamanians!" I looked at Magnus funny. Australamanians. Really Magnus? It's Australians. I shook my head. I have…interesting friends don't I?

"Oh, just keep the laughter down will you! We Zomblanginanians cannot here us not think in our planet!" Exclaimed the so called "alien"

"Wait, aren't you guys like supposed to be advanced life forms?"

"No, humans just said that so we would sound more intelligent."

"Oh, I see. So were Is Zomblangina." I asked.

"Up your butt and around the corner." The person said.

"Uh-"

"Ok, it's at the edge of the earth."

"Um, the earth is round, there really isn't an-"

"Fine! Zomblangina is in Zomblangina!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" I pointed out.

"Ok ok! Zomblangina is in –" There was another flash of light and this girl "alien" appeared. This is getting strange.

"Whazzz uuupppp?" Asked the girl.

"The ceiling." I said.

"Tara! You completely ruined the mood!" Exclaimed the person.

"Ya suwre I did." She said sarcastically. I noticed she had a New Jersey accent. Or should I say New Jewsey.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. You guys are from New Jersey?" I asked.

"Fow Suwre. I'm sorwy this Egg head took so long to tell ya's that." Tara said.

"Well we have to go. Later." With that both of the "aliens" that apparently live in New Jersey left. Huh. Well, you learn something new everyday. Just then the "patient" came out of his room.

"It was a dream. A horrible, horrible dream!" Jace exclaimed. I handed him a mirror and then he fainted. I snickered.

"Wow."

"I know right!" Ten minutes later Jace woke up, then curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth muttering why me.

"Why me, why me, why did it have to happen to me of all people! Why me, why me, why my beautiful face!"

"He's really arrogant." Pointed out Simon.

"No shit Sherlock." I replied.