March 17, 2010

Disclaimer: I own nothing InuYasha.

Author Note: Okay, I have so much to write this time. The one year anniversary went great. One year ago I had met Branden and we had gone to The Third, where I got my first kiss. We just hung out today and played with water balloons, laid together, danced stupidly, talked, played games, and etc. In basically two years we're planning on moving in together. Thank you guys for all the reviews! A Run for Your Money will be my next story, which I will start up shortly.

Ayames-newbestfriend (it wouldn't let me put the period after new) – you're stories are incredible and I hope you update as soon as possible. Thank you for all the reviews too. I checked my inbox and was so excited because I had 19 new messages and they usually only come from this site. Thank you for the input about the story ideas as well. Congratulations with your boyfriend and I wish you guys the best of luck!

Bonnafied – you definitely need to update you're stories, I miss reading them. Thank you for the review and I hope you had a good St. Patrick's Day as well.

AnimeTonks1843 – thank you for all your positive reviews, it made me very happy!

Agnes Wallace – thank you for always giving great reviews and sticking with this story.

I'll Remember You

Chapter Seventeen

I walked into the house, grandfather wasn't home yet. I sat down on the couch in the living room and looked around. There were multiple pictures of me on the wall, along with my friends and grandpa. He had pictures of my mother scattered around here and there, unable to bring his old heart to the point of taking them down. There were so many old times here and they were flooding back at me in an alarming pace. It almost took the breath out of me, this invisible blow.

I had been alive for a little over nineteen years now, but it only took me one month to really live. I was always too afraid to make any moves in the past and it cost me a lifetime of happiness most likely. I could have been with Koga if I had taken a chance, made a decision sooner. But, if I had taken that chance, would I still be the same person? Would I still be as independent and indifferent as I was currently? Would I have taken my chance to get out into the real world and enjoy a different life?

Gramps had taken his Harley Davidson bike, leaving the truck behind. With my spare time I began to load the bags in the bed of it. Occupying myself was at least getting everything off of my mind. In a little bit Kagome, Sango, InuYasha, and Miroku would stop by to tell me my final goodbye. Koga had no place in my future, and I didn't even want him around for the parting. I had dealt with Koga long enough and, for once, I had to act for me and ignore him. I couldn't put myself through the extra pain. If he ever really loved me at all he wouldn't have cheated. When you love somebody you can't hurt them like that. Not with true love.

It took me almost two hours before all of my baggage was loaded. I had so much stuff to take over; almost all of my belongings were being shipped over to the United States. Gramps had already made plans with the college to meet up with me and have a U-Haul vehicle to place all of my belongings in. I was glad considering not everything would be able to fit in the back seat and trunk of a small taxi car. I was finally finished and I took a breath of the summer air, a lot less suffocating than the beach's costal air.

By now it was 3:00 in the afternoon and everybody would start coming over in three more hours. While I waited I dug out old home videos and popped them in the VCR player. They were dusty with age and had a little static at first, but were good as ever. I was a little kid, it was my second birthday. I was still just a little infant, borderline toddler, running around with pigtails and a diaper. There was icing and chunks of cake smeared all over my face but I didn't care, I was happily smiling and giggling.

My mother wasn't there. She hadn't been there ever since my birth. I didn't need my mother though. I looked at the video. Having a mother hadn't made me any less happy of a child. I still had the best times, thanks to my grandfather. He played the role of my parents, but still my grandparent. He was more than anybody could have ever asked for. He didn't mind though, I was somebody to keep him company. I was somebody who he could talk to and be with. I was somebody who came from his daughter. I was somebody who might have given her a reason to come back. I was somebody who grew up right. I was somebody who only ever needed him.

I think that was all that my grandfather needed: to be needed. Without somebody to need him there he must have felt useless. I wasn't sure how he'd react when I would be gone for real. I didn't want to run out on him. I wasn't going to be like my mother. I wouldn't leave him alone to mourn in his loneliness and sorry. I would keep in contact with him as much as I could. I was going to keep the strong bond between us, although I was sure it would never break.

Koga POV

I slammed my fist into the punching bag again. What had I been thinking? I must have lost my mind. I didn't understand how that had happened. I was head over heels for Ayame and I hadn't drunk much alcohol. Emi was just a friend from college and we'd left to go to her room and catch up on old times. I wasn't even thinking of how much a slut she was. InuYasha and Miroku knew though, they had tried to so desperately to stop me, but they couldn't. When she started kissing me the pain eased.

I wanted to get lost and forget about the girl who was constantly invading my mind. I didn't want to think about her. I didn't want to lose her. I had never been so hurt in my entire life. With my heart breaking this much, I wouldn't ever be able to understand how Ayame's felt when she stumbled into the situation. Her laugh was still wringing in my ears, I could smell her natural vanilla scent, I could see her gorgeous smile and the way her sunset hair framed his tanned, flawless skin and the sun light up those always-shimmering green eyes, the greenest and most beautiful eyes that I had even seen or could ever imagine.

She was going to be gone anyway, Koga.

I growled and hit the punching bag a little harder. I couldn't find my boxer gloves, and I didn't bother to search for more than a minute. I couldn't stop myself from whaling on it. The punches wouldn't stop even though my knuckles were raw and bloody. The hard, bumpy material had tore my knuckles up pretty good so far but I continued. I wasn't sure if I could stop myself.

You hurt her Koga, you ruined her summer.

Another punch. Nothing would compare to the pain I was feeling about the Ayame situation. How could I have been so cold? How could I let such a hopeful girl down and destroyed her entire world because of my own selfishness. I wanted to escape from feeling any further pain and it only made the situation worse. I was glad that I hadn't slept with anybody but her; I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. Besides, Emi would have probably given me multiple STD's since she wasn't the most innocent girl.

She hates you Koga.

I closed my eyes and threw an extremely hard punch. It hit at the wrong angle and I winced, dropping to the ground and holding my wrist. My hand was throbbing with pain and I couldn't help the tears that pricked at the corners of my eyes. My parents weren't home and I was glad, I didn't want to talk about my vacation. My cell phone rang. I quickly grabbed it with the slight hope that it might be Ayame, telling me that she hadn't meant it when she said she didn't want me in her life at all. Maybe she wanted me at that party and... and....

"Hello?" I asked quickly, not looking as I flipped it open.

"Hey Koga, this is Emi. I was just wondering if you were busy tonight?" she asked.

"I have plans already." I said coldly.

"Well I have better ideas in mind, if you're interested." She whispered seductively into the phone.

"Emi, you're a whore and you need to get a life." I growled.

"What, hung up over that Ayame chick?" she snapped.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am!" I admitted.

"What ever Koga, I'm more worth you're time than she'll ever be!" she shouted.

"Keep telling yourself that Emi, she's not the slut." I shrugged.

"At least I'm not the one sobbing because I fucked a relationship up. If she was so great and perfect for you Koga than why'd you cheat on her? Huh? I'm assuming that's what you did, cheated on her with me. If she was so great and kept you so satisfied in life than why'd you leave me with and get naked? Why'd you want to have sex if I'm so horrible?" she asked, curiously enraged.

"Mind your own business Emi!" I yelled.

"This is my business!" she snapped back.

"Ayame's leaving for the States tomorrow! I didn't want it to hurt anymore than it already did! I figured if I get with somebody easy that would bang me than it would relieve some of the pain. I didn't have sex anyway since they cut in before we got the chance, and I'm glad. Emi, I never wanted you, I wanted Ayame but I needed to get my mind off of her. I've been crazy about her ever since I can remember. I'm not ready to let her go, I'm not that emotionally stable yet. I figured cheating would make me indifferent and, besides, it was making it that much easier for her to leave me anyway. Me cheating should have benefited us both, that was the plan." I sighed, no longer able to avoid the tears.

"Koga... I'm sorry." Emi said quietly. "Why can't you want me though?"

"You have plenty of guys Emi." I pointed out.

"Yet I only want you. Why can't you love me?"

"Because I had my heart stolen a long time ago and I never really got it back. I don't think I ever will get it back either Emi. You don't understand how crazy I was about her and I finally had this great chance with her. For once in my life Ayame was my girlfriend and my whole life seemed to be perfect, like I was walking on air. When I cheated, everything crashed.

"She's not worth it, Koga, get over her!" he growled.

"She's more worth it than you'll ever be, leave me alone Emi." I growled back.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you're mine Koga, I won't give up." She declared.

This is where I'm stopping! Woo! Tomorrow, I'm going to update again and that will have the final goodbyes and everything and chapter nineteen will be about the group and everything and Ayame's introduction to the college. Finally, the last chapter will probably be about Ayame ending up at America and trying to find a place and finally finding a place. The last chapters will be short so if you like short chapters than it's your lucky day! :p