Again, I couldn't help myself. I just saw this little scenario in my head, and ended up giggling a little to myself by the end of it. I think I really need a nap when I am laughing at my own stuff lol.

Penname: kyla713
Creative Original or Derivative Fiction: Derivative

Rating/Warning(s): M

Disclaimer: All copyrighted, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

Prompt: Palm Tree

Bread… check.

Milk… check.

Lettuce… check.

My weekly rag magazine… fuck!

I knew I'd been forgetting something when I walked out of the store and on the walk home.

Oh well. That's four bucks in my pocket and twenty minutes of eye-rolling and laughing I'll miss out on.

Or I could just go back tomorrow.

Heaven knew the exercise wouldn't kill me after the pints upon pints of ice cream I'd devoured this winter, moping over the break-up.

Sure, I knew Paul could be a little temperamental at times, but I somehow always though we'd would through the fights and be fine. We loved each other, right? I never would have imagined that I would end up residing in the spare bedroom of my best friend's house, after one of these fights left me without a place to live. I'd lost my job, lost my boyfriend and lost my home in one week.

That was a really bad week.

I kept waiting for things to look up, since I didn't know how long I could ignore Alice and Jasper's nightly activities, while I lay alone and lonely on the other side of the wall.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, my hand flying to my head as something flicked the slide of it, and I looked down to see the end of a branch from one of the palm trees in the front yard. Then my eyes rose to find the source and the first thing that my gaze met was a denim-clad ass resting in a harness. "Hey!"

When I got no response from the guy in the tree, I grabbed the head of lettuce from my bag, and with a growl, hurled it up toward him. As it struck the seat of his pants, he jumped slightly, gripping the ropes firmly and looking down at me. "Can I help you?"

"You might want to…" I paused as he tilted his head slightly to remove the earbud from his ear, taking a calming breath to keep myself from blowing my stack. "You might want to watch where you're throwing these. This one just smacked me in the head."

He glanced down at the palm I was pointing to at my feet and then brought his eyes back to mine. "You might want to pay attention to signs from now on."

"What signs?"

"The signs I put up, warning everyone, including you, of falling objects," he replied as if talking to a child.

"Well I didn't see any signs," I retorted, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Well I put them there. Maybe you should use those pretty eyes for more than decoration."

I gasp, my jaw dropping in shock as he lowered himself down to the ground, and then my mouth went dry as he turned to face me. He was shirtless, as I had noticed from up there, with his black t-shirt hanging out of his pocket. His sweat-drenched body from the Arizona sun glistened, accenting the well defined muscles or his arms, chest and stomach, leading down to a V down into his jeans, leading to…

"Edward, quit being rude!"

Both of us looked at Alice standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, before storming over to us.

"Don't mind my brother, Bella. My parents kept him in the barn with the other animals when he was a kid," she growled, narrowing her eyes at him.

"This is your brother? The actor? What's he doing in our palm tree?"

"Why don't you try asking him?" the deep voice resonated beside me sarcastically, and I turned my eyes to meet his blazing green ones."

x-x-x

"And that's the story of how I met your father," I said to the two wide eyed children seated on the floor in front of me.

Our four-year-old daughter, Chelsey, stood up with her mouth hanging open as she gazed at Edward. "You hit Mommy in the head with a tree?!"

Out six year old son, Jack, rolled onto his back in a fit of giggles. "Mommy hit Daddy in the butt!"

"Hey, that was iceberg lettuce. That hurts!" Edward said defensively, lifting Chelsey into his arms. "And it wasn't a tree, honey, it was a branch and only the very tip got her. And when you think about it, I didn't mean to hit Mommy, but she definitely meant to hit me."

She puckered her lips and folded her arms over her chest as she glared at me. "That's true, Mommy. Not nice."

"Your tactics are dirty," I said, pointing at Edward. "Swaying our four-year-old to the dark side."

"Well you still have Chuckles over there," Edward smiled as he shifted our daughter on his hip, nodding toward Jack.

"It's funny, Daddy! On the butt!" Jack laughed hysterically and I walked over to him to lift him off the floor and into my arms.

"Okay, story time is over. Now it's time for munchkins to go to bed and let Mommy and Daddy relax," I said, carrying him down the hall to his room as Edward did thing with Chelsey. Tucking him into bed, I kissed him goodnight and left the room. Crossing paths with Edward in the hallway, my fingers lightly brushing his hand in as we traded rooms to kiss both children.

Stepping out into the hall after switching on her nightlight, I closed her door and rested back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. When I opened my eyes, Edward was outside Jack's door with a smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"What do you mean 'what'?" he teased as he moved toward me, sliding his arms around my waist as his lips brushed my neck.

"Are you kidding? They're still awake!"

"They won't be for long."

"Edward…"

"Bella…" he whispered in imitation, the smirk never leaving his features as he lightly kissed below my ear.

I took a sharp breath and smacked his arm, but my head tilted back welcomingly; that was my weak spot and he knew it all too well, and used it. "They probably have their ears right on the doors. Just wait fifteen minutes."

"Okay," he whispered, his lips meeting mine and moving over them in a slow, tender kiss.

"Right on the butt," a snicker sounded from behind the closed door across the hall.

"Goodnight, Jack," we called in unison and heard the shuffle of feet moving across the room and the bouncing of mattress springs.