Story Title: Teach Me the Meaning…
Chapter Title: Teach Me the Meaning of Love
Summary: Bagoas hates serving Darius as a courtesan but fears what new duties Alexander's reign might force him into performing.
A/N: Sorry this chapter has taken so long. I really didn't have it planned out at all when I started writing it or the story in general for that matter (I only pre-planned through chapter 03). I hope you'll forgive me. As of right now, this is the last chapter for this story, but I'm not going to mark it as completed just yet.
Warnings: Nothing beyond the usual homosexual stuff.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership in Oliver Stone's Alexander or in Mary Renault's books. I'm just borrowing some of their historical characters for fun.
Hephaestion smiled over the top of his scroll as he watched Bagoas leaf through his sketches of various bridges and war machines. The youth ran a curious fingertip over an image he found particularly intriguing and gave a shy glance towards the quiet general, silently asking for an explanation of the device. Hephaestion beckoned for Bagoas to bring the parchment over to the bed where he was reclining, and with silent eagerness, the young eunuch sidled up beside the auburn-haired man with the sketch in hand.
"What is it?" the former courtesan inquired as he handed the page to the general. "It looks a bit like a crossbow, but from the little of the notes that I can understand, I know that it's much bigger than that."
"It's a ballista," Hephaestion grinned as he wrapped an arm about the youth's shoulders. "Alexander's father, King Philip, was the first to truly implement them as a siege engine in his own wars, and now Alexander uses them. They are kind of like giant crossbows, but they can shoot darts farther than anything held in the hands."
Hephaestion then began explaining the mechanics of the device as Bagoas asked more questions. The general felt surprise at the intelligence behind the eunuch's curiosity; he had never expected such insight from someone untrained in any form of engineering or construction. It was disheartening to think that such a sharp mind as the youth's had been wasted on providing sexual pleasures for Darius during the years he should have been learning such desired knowledge.
"I think Alexander and I are going to have to talk about making you my apprentice," Hephaestion gave a soft laugh once he had finished answering all of the eunuch's questions. "I don't think I've ever come across anyone quite as inquisitive and eager to learn as you."
"That would be absolutely wonderful," the youth curled against the general's side, hugging him in gratitude. "Thanks, Hephaestion."
"Anything to make you smile, Bagoas. You've had enough sadness in your life already," Hephaestion sheltered the young eunuch in a protective embrace.
After a moment, the former courtesan pulled away to study the quiet general's handsome face, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of auburn hair behind the man's ear.
"What is it?" Hephaestion whispered when the youth continued to stare at him.
"I envy you," Bagoas sighed. "You have the life I've always wanted to have."
"Well then, that's all the more reason why you should be my apprentice. I want you to have the life you've always wanted," Hephaestion pulled the young eunuch against his side again where the youth pillowed his head on the man's shoulder. There was a long moment of silence before the auburn-haired man felt his companion shift restlessly against him.
"Hephaestion, forgive me for asking, but what's it like when you and Alexander… you know…?" Bagoas inquired shyly as he glanced up at the general.
"You want to know about love making as opposed to what Darius put you through?"
"If you don't mind…"
"It's alright, Bagoas. I don't mind talking to you about it," Hephaestion kissed the youth's forehead to soothe away his nervousness. "But I'd appreciate it if this conversation stayed just between the two of us and perhaps Alexander if you wish to ask him some questions as well."
"It'll stay between us, I promise," the former courtesan reassured his new-found friend.
"Thank you," Hephaestion paused a moment to gather his thoughts, rarely having discussed his relationship with the king before. "I guess the best way to describe it would be to say that Alexander is a very selfless lover. In the beginning, he was reluctant to engage in physical activities, but I think the cause of that was the fact that he's the younger coupled with me having been a bit precocious."
Bagoas gave a soft giggle while snuggling tighter against the general's side, peering up at him with amusement from beneath his delicate eyelashes. "You? Precocious? That is a strange thought considering how reserved you seem to be most of the time."
"Hmm, yes well, some things tend to change in light of time and experience," Hephaestion smiled as he ran his fingers through the eunuch's silken hair. "But anyway, when we first began exploring each other physically, Alexander focused mainly on making me feel good, because he really didn't have much interest in bodily pleasures at that point. Eventually, though, he seemed to wake up to his senses, and after having him give me so much attention, it was easy for me to repay the favor. He had taught me what gave the most pleasure, and so I showed him in return once he finally decided he wanted such things."
"No one ever did that for me, not even during my training," Bagoas sighed, daydreaming about the general and the king being together when they had been younger. The youth found both men to be exceptionally handsome, and he admired their love for each other. "I take it that neither one of you outgrew that giving type of intimacy?"
"For the most part, no, we haven't," Hephaestion replied. "However we have been known to go at it rather roughly at times. Mainly that sort of thing occurs when we've been separated for longer than either of us wanted due to stupid complications. We never hurt each other, though, if the other hasn't given consent to it regardless of how befuddled our minds become in the midst of our passions. Sometimes we'll even refuse to give the other what he wants if we think he's not thinking clearly."
"You must be able to read each other very well, then, without the use of words even," Bagoas seemed a bit stunned as he wondered at the idea of that type of bond.
"The other Companions don't understand it," Hephaestion sighed out wearily. "Some of them have grown jealous of me for having such a bond with Alexander. They don't believe that I could love just the man and not the king."
"But you do love the king as well," Alexander's voice emanating from the doorway startled the pair. "At least you love him to the extent that such a title allows us to pursue my dreams."
"Our dreams," Hephaestion corrected as he watched the golden-haired man slip into the royal bedchamber. Alexander sat down on the bed beside his beloved general and Bagoas and ran a gentle hand over the youth's back. The former courtesan offered a shy smile over his shoulder for his new king.
"You certainly seem to have made yourself comfortable," Alexander commented as he cuddled up behind the young eunuch. Bagoas turned so that he could easily see both the king and the general as they talked.
"You don't mind, do you?" the youth asked quietly.
"I might if I thought you were trying to seduce my beloved Hephaestion," Alexander gave Bagoas a sweet smile before pressing a kiss to his temple. "But I doubt that thought even crossed your mind, did it?"
Shaking his head in the negative, the former courtesan took hold of Alexander's hand and gave a return kiss to his battle-scarred knuckles. The king chuckled softly at the gentle tickle of Bagoas's silken lips before reaching up to stroke a dark, misplaced strand of the youth's hair back into place. He then pulled both the eunuch and Hephaestion into a loving hug. Bagoas nuzzled into Alexander's chest, marveling at the tenderness that this golden man was willing to share with him. Darius had never done so much as give him a tender look.
"Tyriotes said he'll be working late with some of my support staff and plans on retiring to his own rooms tonight," the king announced after a moment. "If you want, Bagoas, you're more than welcome to stay here with us for the night."
"If neither of you minds it, then I would like to stay," the young eunuch glanced up through his lashes in growing embarrassment. "I'm no longer use to being alone at night and fear I wouldn't be able to sleep without having someone nearby."
"We don't mind, Bagoas," Hephaestion reassured the youth. "You'll always be welcome here when you need it."
"Thank you," the youth whispered.
Alexander pressed another kiss to the former courtesan's hair and then slipped from the bed to prepare to retire for the night. Hephaestion also rose from his place against the headboard, and Bagoas followed to help the general put away the scrolls and sketches they had been looking at earlier. When they had finished this small task, Hephaestion stripped off his chiton and joined Alexander at the washbasin where the king was rinsing off with a damp cloth.
Bagoas blushed as he turned his back to the pair and prepared for bed himself. The young eunuch suddenly felt nervous about the whole thing but wasn't about to change his mind on the offer. Over the last few days Alexander seemed to have gone out of his way to comfort the youth and prove that he saw Bagoas as an individual with emotions and personal rights just like any one of his Companions and friends. The former courtesan wanted this opportunity to show his new king that he did trust the man now and that his efforts had been fruitful.
While Bagoas neatly folded his garments, Hephaestion stepped up behind him and began to run a soft, damp cloth over his shoulders, washing the youth with surprisingly gentle hands for a battle-hardened soldier. The former courtesan glanced back at the quiet general, his blush renewing itself across his beautiful face. Hephaestion laughed lightly at the reaction before turning the eunuch around to face him so that he could wash the youth's chest. Bagoas's blush grew even brighter as he noted that both the general and the king were fully nude and seemed to plan on sleeping that way.
"What is it?" Hephaestion inquired, wanting to know why the young eunuch had grown suddenly shy.
"I'm sorry, I guess it's just…," Bagoas hesitated in thought for a moment, trying to pick his words carefully. "Well, Darius never really treated me like I was much more than some prized, finely trained animal, I guess. In such circumstances, nudity isn't embarrassing. Animals don't know any better. But both of you have treated me as though I am human. Things feel different now, and I can't help it."
"Well, there's no way we're going to treat you like an animal, so I guess there's no helping it," Alexander grinned as he wrapped his arms below the youth's hips and lifted him up with a laugh. "You're just going to have to get over it!"
The king then dropped Bagoas onto the center of the bed, leaving the eunuch laughing in embarrassment and surprise. Hephaestion hopped up beside the youth, laughing with him, and pressing playful kisses to the side of his face while Alexander attacked the former courtesan from the other side. Bagoas writhed and wiggled under the tickling hands and continuing kisses of both men, his laughter bringing tears to his eyes as the pair did their best to distract him from his embarrassment.
Finally Hephaestion and Alexander eased up on their playful teasing to allow the former courtesan to catch his breath. Calming down again from his excitement, Bagoas suddenly became aware of the fact that he was now completely naked. Somehow one of his new friends had stripped him of his linen undergarments during their play, and both were now studying him curiously.
The youth gave a nervous whimper as a shiver of fear trailed down his spine. Had the pair simply been toying with him this whole time? Were they now going to use him as they had promised not to do? Had they lied to him? Bagoas pushed himself away from Hephaestion and Alexander, drawing his knees up to his chest as he huddled against the headboard.
The action broke both men out of the strange staring trance they had fallen into. The king drew in a soft gasp of shock as he looked up into the young eunuch's frightened eyes. Hephaestion reached out and smacked his lover on the back of the head, signaling to Bagoas that it had been Alexander who had stripped him.
"What the hell were you thinking?" the auburn-haired general hissed.
"I'm sorry, I was curious. And so were you!" the king whined to Hephaestion before turning pleading eyes to the youth before them. "Bagoas, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that without your consent. I just wanted to see what had been done to you. Please, I'm so so sorry."
Somehow the young eunuch knew the words were sincere, but even as his fear ebbed away, he couldn't stop himself from bursting into tears. Alexander and Hephaestion both wanted to comfort Bagoas but were afraid of causing even more damage than what they had already brought to the youth. Neither dared to even speak again. The former courtesan, however, wanted whatever comfort he could get from the pair and so crawled over to sit between them.
"All you had to do was ask," Bagoas whispered, nuzzling into Alexander's arms as he tugged Hephaestion closer to both of them. "I know you've never seen a eunuch before, and I want you to understand about us. I would have been willing to let you examine me."
"I'm sorry, Bagoas, so sorry," Alexander held the youth protectively as he apologized again. Hephaestion wrapped his own arms about the two, nuzzling the eunuch's silken hair, still unable to speak. It wasn't long, however, until the former courtesan had silently cried himself to sleep in the lovers' comforting embrace, leaving any further words unheard and unanswered.
Waking the next morning, Bagoas found himself warmly entangled between Alexander and Hephaestion beneath the covers of the Great King's bed. Both men were still soundly asleep, and so the youth remained relaxed in their arms, not wanting to rouse either of them. Taking stock of his body, the eunuch found that the pair had managed to redress him last night without interrupting his exhausted sleep. Bagoas also discovered that both men had morning arousals, Alexander's poking him in the back of his hip while Hephaestion's pressed firmly against the front of his thigh. The former courtesan couldn't help but smile as he realized that this was the first time in his life where he wouldn't be expected to take care of either man. It felt good to know that he could simply drift back to sleep and let them be. And so he did.
End A/N: Thank you for reading, and reviews are always appreciated! I hope to hear from you no matter what you have to say!
- Stony Knight