House made sure he had eye contact with Cameron and repeated in a firm voice, "I want you to come back."
Cameron sat there speechless trying to confirm in her head if she heard House right. She finally recovered her voice and answered, "I can't," her voice was soft but defensive.
"Why not?" House asked rather calmly expecting that answer from her. He knew she would not be prepared for the question but tried to maintain eye contact with her to keep her settled.
"My reasons for leaving haven't changed," she said rather cryptically unsure of the answer herself. What she said was true but it was also the first answer she could think of.
"Your reasons for leaving were wrong!" House said firmly but not yelling.
"...Chase," she began but House cut her off knowing whatever she said she would try to defend it.
"You're mad at chase but not for what he did," House said steadily trying to keep Cameron calm.
"He killed Dibala," Cameron shouted House not believing even he could make such an accusation to her. Well actually she could but only a person like House would dare.
House didn't flinch at her outburst but quickly turned his head to face the people around him he knew were staring at them, "He! already fled the country so no punishing him now." House then turned back to Cameron knowing people would just assume it was a joke because of his sarcasm, "Your mad him for being able to murder not his reasons for doing it."
"Whats the difference," Cameron spat still heated but kept her voice low enough not to arouse any more suspicion.
House took a breath knoiwing the next part would be hardest, "Because you thought about killing the dictator too," House stopped expecting a quick retort from Cameron at his accusation, "the only difference is Chase acted on his feelings."
Cameron thought for a second, "I still left because he dit it, because he changed..."
"And you said he changed because of me," House said knowing that was what she going to say next.
"Yes," Cameron admitted in low defeated voice.
"I didn't change him, you only want to believe that because it justifies you. Allows you to not admit that you really didn't know the man you married. It allows you to absolve him and blame me and that makes it easier for you to accept," House explained as if he were usually explaining the inane workings of the human mind
"But..." Cameron started but immediately lost her voice.
"If Chase changed because of me it is because he was acting on his feelings that were always there, not just acknowledging they're there," House continued in the same low voice.
"I've changed," Cameron said shortly and softly just enough for him to hear her.
House gave a sigh. "If Foremen or Chase or you," House emphasized the last part, "changed because of me it is for two reasons. Either because you saw what I was doing as right.
or that you are weak person that is easily influenced." House saw Cameron looking down and instinctively put his hand on her shoulder to get her to look at him,
"And if I thought the latter was true about you I wouldn't be here... Also I never give damn about what a patient does after he gets out of the hospital. Everything I do is to abdicate for my patient while their there. You always got mad me because I don't learn patient names or about them... but you never realized it allows me not to give a damn about a patient's life... that way they are always a patient and nothing else." House didn't know why he said the last part but part of him for some reason felt compelled to tell Cameron part of why he did things.
Cameron and House sat there in silence, allowing Cameron to let the words sink in. "You always thought I was hard on you... always doing harsh things just for the hell of it... but what you, any of you, failed to realize was that it was mean to make you into better doctors." House once again didn't know why he was telling Cameron this because it was uncharacteristic of his character.
"What were you trying to teach me," Cameron asked somewhat distracted from their previous topic and now curious because she raely heard House give anyone insight into why he did things.
"Your biggest flaw has been and always will be is that you are trusting of people, always expecting them to live by your sense of morals. It is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. One of the reasons, other than part of me just likes screwing with people, is that you chose to be a doctor and you have to be sharp and competitive to do well in it. Even more you chose to interview for my fellowship, a sign that you wanted to become one of the best. Your niceness and trust of others would continually allow others to kick the crap out of you," House said thinking he more than explained himself.
All Cameron could do was nod to House's words not knowing if he was telling the truth or giving an answer to placate her. "I think I'm past the time of being one of your fellows," Cameron said almost completely recovering her compsure.
House took note of the change of topic and decided he needed to lighten the mood, "I don't need another fellow, I got forty idiots coming for that job on Monday, I'm looking for a Foreman."
Cameron couldn't help but laugh and smile at the banter, "Foremen still answered to you like everyone else."
"True," House admitted, "But you'll be Formen 2.0"
"Whats the bdifference I make coffee?" Cameron said keeping up the banter.
"Actually where Foremen was just me in a chocolate covering... you'll be more like a partner," House saide his tone getting serious at the end.
"Partner?" Cameron said not expecting those words.
"Yeah," House said shortly not extremely comfortable speaking so intimately.
"Why me?" Cameron asked needing to know. She never heard House make a confession like this before.
A/N: Okay confession time for me: 1) I no longer know how many chapters this story will be, meaning there will be more than originally expected. 2) Updates to this story will be sporadic because my laptop power cable broke and am borrowing one from my brother. 3) My brother's laptop does not have Microsoft word so I am writing in notepad. Hopefully this abdicates me from some spelling and grammer mistakes. Also overall format of story may be off because there is no marigins in notepad.
Thanks for reading!