So this it the last chapter.
It's been fun and somewhat confusing to write.
I would like to thank all of you guys that stuck with this story even when you didn't know what was going on. LOL
Hey, if there is any peeps that have been shadowing this fic then by all means I would love your final input on this story.
Yes there is going to be a sequel coming, but not sure what to call it so for now if you're interested then just keep an eye out for anything new I write.
And finally I would love to give a final shout out and special thanks to Figgy … you have been my biggest support through this story and your long reviews have not only helped as inspiration but have sometime got me out of holes.
So this one's for you girlie ;)
I'll Make it Better, I'll Always Make it Better
The sound of a cold wind whistling like a tea pot stirred Sarah from her induced coma.
Her body ached all over and there was a heavy and hard pain in her chest. With great effort she lifted her eye lids to find a tattered silk canopy over her eyes. Her mind was running sluggish and it took her a moment to figure out that she was in fact under a large cloth like material and not buried under grass.
With a grunt she pulled the oversized alter sheet off her and with great pain sat up.
She observed her surroundings with heavy eyes.
The lights that once lit up the church were burnt out, bathing the cathedral in a gloom, the once neat and orderly pews where a tangled mess of shattered and broken wood. All around the wooden floor an unheard of number of killed and spent Endoskeletons lay scattered which looked like a squad of Tech-com soldiers fought them off.
"Ryan?" Sarah called weakly. She looked around to find dead bodies near a shattered window but none of them wore Resistance fatigues.
"Ryan?" She called again with a fragile voice. The empty cathedral answered her quarry with silence.
With the help of a pulpit she raised her self to her feet. She found the mess of Skynet's finest ruined about the floor not helping in her quest. She moved gently with a limp as her thigh was stiffened in paralysis.
Each thud and slide she made in her walk toward the door was followed by a little girl like whimper.
Avoiding Terminator piles and bodies she pushed the unhinged double doors open with no great effort.
She was greeted with bitterly cold air and water colored dawn.
"Ryan!" She called out and hobbled toward the sandbagged wall that had lifeless Gray foot soldiers slung over the ramparts each body with a cauterized hole in them.
She gritted her teeth and limped to the wall and looked out at the sight below and had her breath stolen from her.
Between the foot of the hill and the tangled Jungle lay a field of bodies. Some in green fatigues some in off gray with helmets, some metal skeletons, all with their own twisted lifeless bodies piled on one another. There were little places to step on the bloody field without desecrating a departed soul. The sight was like something out of Sarah's nightmares of Judgment day.
The stench of sweet burnt meat and hot metal was carried on the wind and into Sarah's nostrils. Like chloroform the smell of death knocked the wind from Sarah's lungs and with gags she turned her back on the awful sight, sitting on the dirt filled sacks looking at the purple and orange coded clouds with a single tear.
She cried not for the soldiers, but for the loss of innocence of the brutal reality of the Connor and Skynet Rivalry. She cried for the romance that Kyle Reese filled her head with that will never have the same meaning.
There was the sound of a mechanical engine that burst over the silent horror of the field.
From the corner of her eye she saw a dirty and slightly rusted M1-A1 Abrams tank mow past her and set its large cannon down at the tree line, then with a shudder the beast powered down.
Sarah ignored the sounds of boots and footsteps as a platoon of Resistance soldiers in overcoats and beanies move past her on there way down the hill.
"Hot Damn … that must have been one hell of a fight you guys fought last night?" a teenage male with a Cajun accent addressed Sarah with a whistle in his voice.
Sarah didn't answer; she merely looked at her feet lost in pushed together and slow thoughts.
"Hey, ma'ams … are you okay?" the boy shook her, she didn't respond. "Hey medic … we got one here!" he called out.
The sound of shifting gravel approached the youths; a familiar hand reached out and took Sarah's chin.
"Sarah?" Lauren Fields locked eyes with her. Sarah didn't say anything, just simply blinked in answer. "Its okay honey … you're okay." Lauren repeated as she began checking her.
"Lauren?" Sarah spoke gently.
"Yeah …?" she stopped her work on the banged thigh and looked up at her.
"Where's Ryan?" she asked tenderly.
***
There was a silence that settled in the waiting area of General John Connor's office.
In fact the entire hall leading to the secluded area of the large mountain fortress was quiet as if noise in that part of the base was a blasphemy.
Alone in a row of seats a young soldier sat in a leather arm chair. His face was paled, the young corporal's right eye was blood shot and a thin gruesome scare ran across it ending in a V on his cheek like someone had placed a large checkmark on him.
Ryan opened and closed his left fist looking at the sun kissed smooth skin that was several shades lighter then the rest of him. He clenched his teeth when his hand twitched in an unexplained glitch.
He sighed when he got it under control.
Suddenly the sound of boots announced a newcomer into the room.
A beautiful teenage girl with long soft brunette hair and an unmistakable Angelic face stood shadowed over her peer.
"John wants to see you." There was little warmth and no emotion behind matching mocha eyes as she addressed the soldier. With a quick turn of her heels she made her way to leave, saying her peace.
"Mom!" Ryan got out of his chair to pursue, the girl didn't turn or acknowledge the call. "Mom …" he grabbed her waist and tugged her back.
The girl turned to face the soldier with curious yet wary eyes, there was few that had touched her and even fewer that had pulled her into such an intiment position.
"I'm sorry; I believe you have me mistaken for someone else." The girl tilted her head.
"What do you mean? You're saying you don't know who I am?" he bore into her, looking for anything that might hint that he was looking into the eyes of Cameron Connor.
"Yes … that is what I mean." She flicked her eyes to the hands grasping her sides curiously.
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. She wasn't his mother; she was a machine, the machine that severed his arm and gouged out his eye, the terminator that nearly took his life.
Ryan's grip tightened on the cyborg and his teeth became clenched. The girl found his action intriguing and for a small moment there was a small flicker of painful discomfort emotionally from the pure hatred coming from his eyes that she hadn't felt when others had looked at her the same way. She wrote it off and would analyze why he was so different later.
"Ryan …" A powerful voice called to the teen from the shadows of a large metal doorway. He slipped his grip off the girl and walked toward the voice.
A tall man with broad muscular build and spiked hair moved out of the way letting the brown leather jacket clad soldier by, the girl followed closely and once inside the man walked away leaving the girl to close the door effortlessly.
Ryan didn't have a favorable look on his face as he stood across the desk from John Connor.
John sat in his chair and motioned the young soldier to follow. Ryan flicked his eye at Cameron who was standing in front of the door in a guarding manner. It was an old Tech-Com rule never to let a machine stay behind you. John motioned Cameron to come to him to which she did without hesitation.
The girl walked purposefully behind the desk and stood at her keeper's side and flicked her eyes at the young soldier.
Carefully Ryan sat in the chair with one eye on his father and one on his mother's imposter.
"How's the prosthetics, Cowboy?" John asked in an attempt at small talk.
"The added weight of the arm is taking some getting use to, and the neural network is giving me a headache." He complained slightly. John nodded silently.
There was a pause between the two males as neither knew where to begin. Ryan flicked up to Cameron who seemed to have an interested if not shocked look on her face that only grew as she analyzed the teen.
"Can we not do this with this Thing here?" Ryan bit off feeling uncomfortable at the stare the brown eyed girl was giving him.
"She's the reason I summoned you here." John answered in her defense. Ryan scoffed and resettled in his seat. "We need to talk about your mom." He continued.
"What mom? In case you haven't heard she's dead …this monster killed her!" He spat at Cameron who responded with a small flash of hurt in her eyes.
"If Allison is dead then why are you here?" John asked with a foreboding tone. Ryan blinked and shifted in his seat again.
"Sorry … temporal mechanics wasn't part of Connor 101." He shot back sinking in his chair. John glared slightly at his rebel's one liner. There was a pause again.
"Because Alison Young isn't your mother." Cameron spoke up as if the question was directed to her.
Ryan shot out of his chair with rage as if he was ready to fight her. "Go to hell!" he bared his teeth in a display that left John wondering If he was looking at the ghost of Sarah Connor.
"She's right Cowboy …" John spoke up unfazed at the hot headed youth.
"Oh yeah then who is, huh … if my mother isn't Alison Young … then who is!?" Ryan yelled at John.
There was a deeply troubled silence in the room, then with a deep breath John spoke.
"She is" he looked at Cameron.
Ryan took a step a back in shock looking at the cyborg in horror.
"No … that's …no that's impossible." Ryan stuttered shaking his head at Cameron.
"It's not impossible." Cameron spoke up touching her lower stomach as if to make a point. "Program 66 …" she spoke softly.
John nodded stiffly before looking at Ryan.
"You said that Mom … Alison." Ryan turned to John in disbelief.
"Alison was human your mother was based off of …I told you to stay away, because she had to die so that you could exist and that we could capture Cameron … your mom." John explained carefully but all his efforts were wasted on the irrational teen.
"Don't you tell me that …" Ryan picked up his chair and tossed it at the wall. "Don't tell me that! You didn't see her face! You didn't see the fear in her eyes as she faded into nothingness!" he yelled at John.
"Your mother and I … we didn't tell you because … we just didn't know how." John tried to get through to his boy who had murder in his eyes.
"That what, I was part monster …?" Ryan gritted with hatred.
"Your Mom was not a monster!" John shouted out.
The hell she wasn't just look at her, she killed Alison Young for no reason!" he yelled challenging John. "Now look at me … Look what you've turned me into!" he held up his arm.
"Cameron loved you more then you'll ever know." John said dangerously.
"They don't know love!" Ryan countered. John stood out of his chair and looked his son straight in the eye.
"The woman who raised you who took care of you, she gave up her arm, her eye, her FREEDOM … so that we … so SHE wouldn't lose you." John balled his fist.
"Than it was a waste of her time and mine … Because I would rather have died in ignorance then to be turned into some goddamn Frankenstein's monster!" He turned to leave.
"You'd spit on everything she gave to you!" John roared at the teen.
"I'm putting in for transfer … somewhere were I don't have to see her … and I don't have see you!" he called becoming no more then a shadow in the doorway.
"Don't you turn your back on me" John said darkly.
"My life …" was all he said gripping the door handle.
"You walk out that door … you leave, don't you ever come back." John said coldly.
Ryan stood still turning his head looking at the handsome older man, then wordlessly he jerked open the heavy door and whisked out slamming it shut.
John slid into his chair and placed his hands on his face. Cameron watched the door and turned to John. She stalked to him and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder like she had seen him do to others in distress.
"Is he my child?" Cameron asked simply.
"No … not yet."
***
There wasn't much Sarah remembered before being shipped to the ICU field hospital. She could feel the hazy morning sun hit her face as the cold wind was repelled by a thick blanket that covered her as she lay in a row of bodies.
She sat up and looked around. Sarah was stunned to find that the main Command Post bunker burned out like there had been several explosions inside. She found that the barracks where she had gone to the Christmas party was missing two of the walls, victim of Skynet artillery.
There was small fear in her chest as she looked down the line of bodies.
"Am I dying … are my injuries severe?"
"Hey … Sarah is that you?" a familiar Australian accent called to her. Sarah turned to find Jesse laying on a mat several unconscious soldiers away.
"Yeah …" Was all she responded. Sarah observed that the female soldier was lounging contently in a white bra and a large bandage wrapped around her waist.
"Looks like we're two of the luckiest bitches in the entire 132nd, eh?" she laughed out before laying back down.
"Speak for yourself." Sarah said tiredly.
Her questions were answered when she saw that person after person where placed on Helicopters and transported away.
Lauren walked up to her and knelt. "You should be sleeping." She chastised lightly pressing her hand on Sarah's chest forcing her to lie down.
"How's Sydney …?" Sarah asked the older woman with a tired sigh.
"She's gonna make it." Lauren smiled.
"And Ryan … where is he?" she asked in a voice that only a concerned mother could have. Lauren stayed silent and gave her a pained silence.
"Sleep …" she said in a docile tone. Sarah would have protested but fighting the sleep overtaking her was like trying to fight quicksand, there was no winning.
***
Everything was a blur with the occasional sounds of a helicopter and the feeling of a gurney being pushed.
There were loud sounds of purposeful walking and strangled cries of the wounded when she felt herself become stationary. Though weak she never forgot her training or mantra.
"No one is ever safe."
From her observations she could tell that she was inside an ER of some sort. Then with frustration she blanked out again.
When she came to a shaky consciousness she was now in an isolated room, next to her there was a heart monitor. The tape on her arm and the numbed sensation in her shoulder and leg also told her that she was hooked to morphine.
She felt eyes on her, watching carefully. A hand was stroking her cheek gently. Normally she would shutter or fight off the affection, but the touch was familiar, soothing, and she felt the love in each strafe of her smooth skin. She sighed contently and pressed into it.
The sound of a door opened and heavy boots walked into the room.
"You needed me?"
Sarah recognized the voice as the one that came over Ryan's portable radio after her first meeting with him by the camp fire.
"I want you to detail a scouting parting to find Ryan …"
The voice was deep and powerful.
"Sir … we've already had three sent out in the past three days." The female argued cautiously. "Maybe it's time to call It." she offered.
The hand stroking Sarah's cheek stopped and was removed swiftly. Even in a semi conscious state Sarah could feel the rage of the person next to her.
"FIND HIM!!" the male voice was like a clap of thunder that shook and vibrated the equipment in the room.
"Yes sir …" the feminine voice was sharp and obedient and with a sharp click the door closed.
The room was quiet again as she felt her mattress dip and a warm body lay next to her giving a worried shaky breath.
Sarah felt strong arms envelope her in a gentle and tender hug, like she was something precious or fragile.
Like before the touch and the warmth of the body was so familiar and comforting that there was only two people she could think of that could make her feel so safe.
"John?" she called weakly burying her face into hardened muscles of his chest that were covered by a T-Shirt.
"I'm right here …" the voice took a softer and despite the deepness in it there was a unmistakable tone that only she knew.
Sarah let herself surrender to the embrace and she tucked herself in his arms as if she had finally found the last piece of a puzzle.
"I'm sorry for leaving you." Tears ran down her cheeks and onto his chest.
"You haven't … and you never will." John whispered, kissing her wet cheek. She sniffled lightly and nodded settling into the loving embrace.
The rhythmic stroking of her back slowly sent her into a soothing sleep that she never had experienced in her entire life.
***
"I guess you know why you're here?" a shadowed figure spoke to Ryan from his desk.
"Yeah I heard …?" the young soldier wore the same leather jacket from before though it only went down to his knees not his calves. He no longer was the rebellious teen, but a grown man with facial hair and now styled grown out raven haired, not the shoulder length challenge of military conduct.
"Then you know what you have to do …?" the voice was dark.
"No … but I know what I'm going to do." Ryan shot back.
"After all of these years I thought you would have learned the lesson of doing all that is necessary."
"Maybe that's what you tell yourself to get yourself through the day … But I don't kill unless it's actual life and death."
There was a pause between the two.
"I guess the blood runs deeper then I thought." The voice chuckled with a sigh.
"Yeah maybe …" Ryan trailed off. He flicked his eyes to the ominous figure sitting in the dark. "Why me?" he asked with a nod.
"You're the only one I can trust to do this."
"You pulled me from my family, from my command to lead a strike team into a Eugenics Lab to find … who, some assassin?"
"You'll know when you see it."
Ryan sucked in some air of frustration. There was a pause of between the two again.
"It's a damn shame about your wife, Cowboy."
Ryan swigged a jug of fragmented wine. "Yeah … it is." He grunted letting the burning pass.
"I'm sure your mom would of liked her."
The young officer scoffed.
"Mom never liked or disliked a damn thing in her entire life." There was bitterness to the soldier's voice.
"So you've accepted the truth …?"
"I've accepted that a machine conceived me, but I don't believe for a second it was out of love." Ryan got to his feet and turned to leave.
"Your mother loves you Cowboy, she always has … even if she doesn't know it."
Ryan stopped and gave his father's shadow a look of disgust.
"You know what old man?" he said with anger. "It turns out that everyone was right about you after all these years. You are insane." Ryan turned on his heels and exited the office.
Alone in the dark John Connor spoke into the emptiness.
"Cameron loves you, Baby boy … you'll see it before the end."
***
"John!"
Sarah sat up from her position on a cot readjusting the strap to her tank top.
The room she was surrounded in was about the size of a dorm room. It was mostly Spartan with only a map on the wall with thumb tacks pinpointing locations.
She pulled the sheets off her showing off her milky bare legs and a pair of panties. She got her feet and walked to a small computer desk that was missing a computer.
It was covered in empty bottles and there were papers on the floor like someone attempted to trash the area, but there just wasn't much to trash.
One of Sarah's bare feet stepped on something cold and metallic. She jumped back a moment in alarm till she found that it was nothing but a picture frame. Bending over she picked up the picture and turned it over.
In the frame was an exquisitely beautiful woman. She had long sleekly curled black hair; her exotic looks were complemented by blue eyes and pale complexion. she wore a sleeveless white wedding dress and a black choker. There was a beautiful somewhat coy smile on her perfect lips. The beauty in the frame was a true human marvel, not an artificial creation of Skynet, but something only God could have had a hand in.
The only thing obscuring the heart stopping sight of heaven was impact cracks on the glass frame were it had it the floor.
Sarah found a peace of folded paper on a chair in front of the desk. She unfolded it to find that someone had torn it in half.
I can imagine it right now …
Were asleep in our room snuggled together in our soft linen sheets and the door bursts open and our little boy and two girls rush in and jump all over us, because it's Christmas morning and they want to open presents. We pretend to be stern, but we let them lead us down the stairs too a our beautiful decorated tree where there is all sorts of bows and silver wrapping paper that will be shredded into a million pieces by our cavalier little soldiers, and I'll be mad at them, but will secretly enjoying every second of it.
After the joy of putting together toys and reading instructions the babies will fall asleep again and it will be just you and me and the bows our children had put in our hair. You'll kiss me and we'll enjoy the sight of sleeping children under our tree with their favorite toys spooned with them.
When you find time to sleep on this Mission or if you're lonely just think of this and you'll find consul and a home in my heart.
I Love You,
Mary
Sarah smiled at the neat writing of a clearly young wife who loved the person she wrote it too very much.
Under the bottles there was a crumbled up piece of yellow paper. She frowned and moved the stale smelling alcohol bottles and uncrumbled the paper.
It was a telegram wire that had a seal in the corner of the sheet that looked like the patch on Ryan's leather coat.
1st Lieutenant Ryan C. Phillips
We regret to inform you that on the 3rd of December, 2029 Staff Sergeant Maria Monaco Connor was stricken with Pneumonia after the birth of your Infant child.
On 5th of December, 2029 Kyle Connor was killed of respiratory complications. Though a minor case of pneumonia your wife Maria Connor faded into a coma where she also died.
It was all Sarah could bear to read.
She dropped the wrinkled paper to the floor and suddenly felt tears streaming down her face.
It had never occurred to her all through there time together that Ryan had lost his family. The words of Mary her Grand daughter in–law echoed through her head like a lament as she stared at the remnants of what Ryan's life had became before he rescued her.
Booze, faded memories, and broken dreams, it was only now that she truly understood why Ryan fought so hard to protect her.
Sarah was truly all he had left in the world.
***
Eventually Sarah found pants and boots that were left for her stored under the cot. Both were somewhat big on her but she figured that she was other forgotten or they didn't expect her to up and about yet.
Pushing open the door she walked out into a narrow hallway where there seemed to be several rows of doors like a motel.
Unknown how or why Sarah began making her way down the hall and through corridors. She passed soldiers who didn't seem to give her a second glance as they passed by her in the halls.
Sarah walked down flights of steps and through corridors. As she got lower and lower her surroundings became less and less like a military installation and more like cave tunnels. She also noticed that the farther down she went the fewer people she came across.
In truth she wasn't sure where she was going, but no one seemed to stop her or turn her away, so she kept going.
Finally after traveling a great distance she reached a secluded hallway.
It was dimly lit and as far as she could tell it was abandoned, but something inside told her that it wasn't.
With a purposeful breath she cautiously walked down the poorly lit corridor till she reached the outside of a room.
There was a wooden office building like door with frosted glass obscuring the view from inside.
Where there should have been curiosity, Sarah had certainty. She opened the door and walked inside.
There was a row of leather arm chairs placed against the wall of what looked like a waiting room a hospital. The only light inside was from two laps on round corner tables giving the room an ominous gloom.
The sound of a terribly sad mechanical chirping tune that sounded like it belonged in a ballet came escaped from a large heavy metal door that was cracked open.
Without a second thought she pulled it open to reveal an also dimly lit office.
What immediately caught Sarah's attention were two glass cases with clothed headless manikins inside.
The first manikin had on a black Tank top and kaki cargo pants tucked into familiar brown motorcycle boots that were fitted at the feet. A familiar black waist belt with metal ringlets and ammunition pouches was strapped to the waist and a broken and dented tactical shotgun was slung behind it.
It was an eerie thing for Sarah to see a memorial of herself; a chill ran down her body.
The second manikin was a stark contrast as it contained a familiar tattered silken wedding dress with a well worn purple leather collarless jacket over the dress. At its feet was a pair of well used balled slippers.
Turning to what was in front of her she saw a large metal desk.
A host of scattered papers and maps lay strewn over its surface, also in on the surface was a well worn brown leather jacket with buttons that she had seen more then once.
But what caught Sarah's attention was the man sitting behind the desk.
He was tall and broad. He had medium spiked hair and wore threadbare green fatigues. His brilliantly handsome face was covered with designer stubble and there was a gruesomely deep scar embedded over his eye that seemed to trace his face.
Familiar green eyes had a great and intense pain in them as the man watched a ballerina figurine twirl on a mechanical wheel of a tainted gold locket.
Sensing Sarah's presence he closed the locket.
"John …" she said with a hitched breath looking at the grown man she raised. He didn't look at her; he merely tossed the locket down on the desk which made a small ringing at the clash of metal.
"John … is that you?" Sarah continued slowly seeing the similarities to her child that only a mother can spot.
The man grabbed the jacket and fingered the red sash on the left elbow.
"You know that me and Cameron … we use to call Ryan cowboy?" John asked Sarah still not looking at her.
"Yeah … I know." Sarah crocked feeling tears spill over her eyelids as she saw the soul consuming pain that hung over her grown boy.
"It's funny, but you know Cameron was the one who coined it?" he laughed a small painful laugh. "You see when he was a baby, Ryan had a hard time walking and he fell a lot. One day I was in the kitchen of our apartment making dinner and Cameron, she was on the carpeted floor trying to get the baby to walk to her and he must of fallen down at least seven times, but he never cried, just got up and kept coming to his momma. Well, eventually he made it to her and she compared him to a Cowboy trying to brake in a horse. So the name stuck ever since." He sniffled and cleared his throat.
There was a pain in her heart as Sarah realized the cold hard truth. Ryan was gone.
"God, he loved this Jacket … Cameron she gave it to him for his eighth birthday. He spent years carrying it with him because he couldn't fit into it." John's voice cracked a little. "And neither of us got see him wear it for the first time." There was devastation in his voice that Sarah never wanted to hear from her son.
Sarah was speechless as she tried to find the words to comfort John, but she had none.
Silently Sarah walked to her son till she was inches from his sitting form, and then gently she took his stubbly cheek, tears running from her softened green eyes.
"I tried … to change things, to influence all possible futures." John said taking Sarah's hand. "But there are something's I can't change, Problems in this universe that there isn't any answers, events that happen to which nothing … nothing can be done to stop them, and in my quest to solve them … I've lost everything." John shook his head as he confessed in tears and a cracked voice into Sarah's gentle palm.
Wordlessly Sarah slipped into his lap and ran a hand through his hair, tears falling freely as the weight of her failure to fulfill her promise to her son to stop the war, to protect him from the this very moment when the realization came that there was nothing left at the end of it all.
"Mom …" John looked into Sarah's eyes. "There gone … they're all gone." He said brokenly.
"I know …" She nodded and pulled his head into the cove of her smooth neck under chin. "God, baby, I know." She said as John took her in his arms and sobbed silently.
"I love you … so much." She spoke her heart to her only purpose in life. She kissed his forehead. "And I promise I'll make everything better, I swear." She sobbed into his hair.
She lifted his head so that he was looking her in the eye.
"I love you, and I swear I'll make this better."
In the silence of the office there was the sound of a smack of a kiss and then a sickening snap of a neck.