Chapter Nine: Things Hidden Deep

The news that Chapel was leaving the Enterprise was as much a shock to Spock as it had been to McCoy. Of course, Spock had been oblivious to much of her actions to the day she had handed in her resignation. Yet he had been aware of her sudden change as much as anyone even if it was in his usual aloof manner. McCoy had spent more time with her and though he was unsettled by it at first when looking back he should have expected it.

"You haven't been exactly happy here, have you?" the Doctor asked the Nurse.

"As happy as you have been, Doctor," was what the woman replied.

He guessed she had been more miserable than he had expected.

McCoy was the one to enter the Bridge and walk up to Kirk and tell the Captain that the crew would be needing more help in Sickbay.

"Ahh…" Kirk murmured. "I will miss her. No one could fill out that outfit as well, I'm afraid. Still it's always nice having someone new around to conquer."

McCoy was about to comment but he saw Spock had turned away from the monitor to pay attention to the conversation. "Jump right on in if you have anything to say," McCoy suggested after an odd silence.

"I believe it will be hard finding a suitable replacement," Spock stated and turned back to the monitor.

McCoy looked to the ground. The simple statement had disappointed him. He had wanted someone else to share his grief about Chapel's departure. He cursed himself knowing he should not have expected any from a Vulcan.

"I'm heading back," the Doctor mumbled.

Chekov had once again returned to the Sickbay. The young man had a way of garnering angry confrontations. He wondered how long it would be until he found himself needing reprimanding in the horrible fashion the Terran Empire had discovered. It made him almost pity the boy.

Almost.

As Chapel waited for the shuttle to be ready that would place the Enterprise and its crew blessedly behind her, she was surprised to see Spock making his way towards her. In her hand she carried a small case filled with all that she wished to take with her. While months before the sight of the Vulcan there would have fostered images of solid pleas from him wishing her to stay, and other romantics, now it only caused a small chill in her heart and she quickly looked away.

"Come to say goodbye?" she said coldly as he stopped no more than two feet away.

"Yes. While our relationship has been strained I do believe that the Enterprise is losing a very respectable crew member."

The woman snickered. " The Enterprise losing a respectable crew member? Is that the best you can do? I guess you have never cared enough to lose anything. That will have to comfort me."

"If you are leaving in a way to coax out some softer emotion from me, or to hurt me in some way, I will tell you that it is ill advised."

"Don't you think I know that by now?" Christine spat. "I gave up on you months ago, Mr. Spock. I'm only sorry it wasn't sooner. You have made me cold. You have killed anything warm that existed inside me and I suppose I should thank you for that. I will be better able to survive in this world now."

"Do not blame me for…" the First Officer said but was interrupted when Chapel suddenly raised an ivory hand and brushed it against his cheek. The skin was smooth contrasting softly when the same hand scratched him deep.

Green blood seeped from the wound and Spock took the action with the same apathy he treated everything the woman did.

Tears crept to her eyes as if releasing the last of her feelings for the man. "You can bleed," she snapped. "Your blood is green but you can still bleed like the rest of us. McCoy probably knows that too. At least you can be passionate with him. You can argue and count your relationship just the same as you always did. But I don't exist at all. Just another stupid woman who was stupid to remain here when maybe it's not a woman either of you want."

A crewmember appeared, his appearance informing her that it was time to leave. On the man's face was a smirk and Chapel knew that it would not be long before the whole scene was talked about and spread across the starship.

"If there is any love left in this universe, I hope you find it" Chapel stated

Spock opened his mouth but was immediately interrupted.

"Don't take that as a compliment. I know how much you hate emotion. I offer it as a curse because I know nothing would scare or destroy you more."

With that she turned and headed to the man who waited, smiling to herself knowing that she had finally left Spock speechless and as momentarily weak as he had often made her feel.

That night Spock had the dream he usually did when some event occurred that he could not control and it had never been clearer than it had been after Habilcar's celebration and Chapel's departure.

The child was sitting next to his mother, all too aware that he was being studied and judged. Though he had heard his father, Sarek's, people did not try to harbor emotions he believed that their eyes were filled with distaste. He would have held onto his mother's dress but Sarek would gently pry the tiny hands away if he saw them resting there as he had already doneseveral time before.

That the other Vulcans were studying him and being cruel with their silent assessment, the boy did not mind. It was when he saw those same distant eyes rest on his mother that he was hurt. Amanda, a full human, would look down at her half Vulcan son and offer him a smile; A smile that seemed so sorely out of place among the straight lined mouths of the others. She offered the same smile to her husband and it was not as warmly accepted.

The gathering was of some importance though the child did not understand why other than he was uncomfortable and it was terrible to have to sit so long and without any sign of emotion or item to play with.

Speeches were made and it was Sarek speaking when a sudden sound was heard, obscene and violent amongst the silence of the Vulcan crowd. Pain seared through the child's arm and he screamed out and believed he earned more disapproving stares for this involuntary action. Blood weeped from his arm, thick and shocking to the boy it came from. It flowed down to the woman at his feet. She looked up at him, sadly caring more about the only child she would ever have life and safety more than her own. Her hand found his and green bled into red.

Amanda, wife of Sarek, mother of Spock, took one last breath, and with that breath, Spock believed all emotions fled from his life, and if the emotion known as pain was also taken with them he would not weep at their passing.