Chapter Thirteen: The Pain of the Past
Although, Kirk was taking steps to secure his position as the most feared, if not respected, man in the Empire, McCoy's unease was not due to any sixth sense about what was happening only several feet away but instead from the slow steady breathing of the Vulcan next to him.
It was dark but some as yet unidentified glowing object in the corner gave eerie light to the room, enough so that the Doctor could make out the naked shoulders of Lieutenant Spock. They were the same pallid, yellowing shade as the rest of the man. Being a Doctor he had touched many skin to skin, although the advancements in medical technology had prevented most of the contact known in past centuries.
He felt himself more anxious to study the Vulcan physiology than before but was startled that it was not purely for scientific reasons. It was tied in with desire, hand in hand, a powerful feeling he had not felt in a long time. For the first time he realized that mild interest had turned into a potent yearning.
Glimpsing the purity of that skin McCoy wondered how it would feel. He wondered if the beauty of it continued to the other areas of Spock's body. Was it cool to the touch as the man's demeanor was? He wondered if it was smooth and what the skin would feel like against his own, then immediately afterwards and very strongly, he wondered what it would feel like against his lips if he were to kiss along the length of that back.
Immediately after this thought, McCoy believed he was going crazy.
How many nights had he spent with Jocelyn looking at the curve of her back, the swell of her hips and chest and felt nothing as much as even a passing interest? Now lying next to a man who held, he believed, nary a passing interest in him, he was finding it hard to stop the desire that was coursing through him. His hands were traitors as were his thoughts.
Sighing, he turned over in bed, determined not to see the sleeping figure of his bedmate. It was pointless though. McCoy found himself constantly seeing the smoothness of that skin, kept imagining himself touching it, kissing it and he found himself even more aroused.
Quickly he returned to facing the way he had been but only momentarily. He threw the covers completely over Spock so he would not have to see any part of him.
Besides, the Doctor thought wryly, he needed to cool down anyway.
In the morning, McCoy awoke as he felt the blanket tossed back on himself. He watched as Spock stood, the strong shoulders more visible since more light was forcing itself into the room. He saw the strength in the finely honed body. He cursed himself for feeling attracted even more than ever.
"I did not need the blanket, McCoy," Spock stated in his usual reserved manner.
"The Hell you didn't," the Doctor snapped back. "I saw your shoulders shaking all last night."
It was a lie but McCoy believed he pulled it off admirably.
Spock was silent and the human understood the man was afraid he had been shivering from something other than the cold.
"Your teeth were chattering too," McCoy added, hoping that this would somehow calm the man, reassuring him it had been because of the temperature and nothing else.
Although he wasn't thanked for it, the Doctor knew it had worked.
"Why on earth is he coming with us?" McCoy demanded when Kirk told them that his guide to better lodging the previous night was coming back to the Enterprise with them.
"Captain, I must admit I concede with the Doctor's opinion," Spock added. "It may go against the Empire's wishes and concerns."
"It would do nothing of the sort, I can tell you both," Kirk answered.
"But the man is clearly not a native of this planet. Obviously he came here under unknown circumstances."
"If that's what's worrying you, the Empire had nothing to do with his exile. It was his own people who screwed him so let's just finish this conversation?"
If Kirk's severe tone had no effect on silencing the other two men the look of mounting anger in his eyes did.
Kirk pulled out the communicator and flipped it open. "You'd better have them send another shuttlecraft down, Scotty. Don't let Sulu pilot it though. We aren't on the best terms, so to speak."
"Why can't we just beam back onboard?" McCoy grumbled.
The Vulcan did not look at the Doctor but replied anyway. "Pretense. They want it to look as if Kehil Lay is unable to be reached by any other transport. The abduction and subsequent death of Ensign Argyle will not look as suspicious than."
McCoy studied Spock's face, feeling the man was intentionally avoiding meeting his eyes. It was hard for McCoy to forget about the effect of Argyle's death on the staid alien. He had not forgotten about the man's words during the previous night.
In the time after, waiting for the shuttle to arrive, Spock had distanced himself from the other three men. Nan De Zheel seemed barely able to contain his anxiousness to finally leave the barren world he had been sentenced too for whatever reason Kirk and him alone knew.
Knowing now that Spock would not be listening, McCoy approached Kirk.
"Captain, may I speak with you?"
James T. Kirk looked around. "No. You'll have to stand in line."
Whatever motivated the man to bring Nan aboard the Enterprise, McCoy knew it had made the Captain in a very good mood.
As good a mood as Spock's had become disturbed the previous night.
"Do you know of anything that may have happened to Spock's mother?"
"You mean you never heard of it?" Kirk's mouth fell open in genuine surprise. "No. Well I guess the matter was hushed up. The Vulcans were rather ashamed of it: ashamed about it almost as mush as they were about Sarek marrying a human. Still, Sawbones you disappoint me! I guess, though, it's just Spock's body you're after."
The words struck the Doctor, considering the events of his earlier nighttime thoughts, and he was glad that the redness on his face could be attributed to the cold weather rather than the true reason.
"She was assassinated. During one of their important and sacred ceremonies I've heard."
"Was Spock there?"
"No idea," Kirk said but his words were false. McCoy knew the man was not a fool and smart men made it their business to know all that they could. However, the Doctor knew that he didn't need to research the matter. Spock's words had told him all he needed to know.
"They claimed it was a Romulan attack. One of their weapons was used. A rather grisly looking thing. A cross between a javelin and an arrow, I think."
"You don't believe that it was the Romulans though?" McCoy commented.
Kirk smiled. "Would you? It was never a secret that the Vulcans were not pleased with the marriage. Some were quite vocal, surprising for them actually. They compared it to a man marrying a pig."
McCoy looked at his hands and Kirk now ignored him, finished with the conversation.
In a few minutes the shuttle could be seen appearing in the clear blue sky.
"Finally!" Kirk exclaimed. "I'm starting to lose feeling in places I really don't feel like having amputated. Shall we all go then?"
McCoy looked behind him and saw Spock approaching. This time he averted his eyes not wanting the First Officer to see any pity in them.