Chapter 20: The Missing

The first of the missing was Admiral Cratke.

He was onboard the Enterprise for what he claimed was diplomatic missions to Arktek 6 and was first discovered missing after the sixth night he had spent onboard the starship. In the beginning no one associated it with the hour long discussion the man had had with Captain Kirk inside the latter man's office. If it was thought of at all, it was concluded that Cratke had fled sometime secretly after that normal meeting, on some secret mission the Empire had planned all along, but had needed the Enterprise Captain's view on.

All that was known for sure was that the man had left sometime without any other member of the crew having seen him, and having left behind the few items he had brought with him onboard. The man had not brought too much with him, so the question was raised that maybe he had not foreseen himself lingering long and the hypothesis had been born that he fled for whatever reasons, his own or the Empire's, that fate had given him.

The second disappearance was more alarming.

Officer Grimlow had been onboard the ship for several weeks, having been sent by the Empire to secure Dilithium trading with the hard to negociate with miners on Rigel XII. It was argued that he was the only man who could secure the trade.

It was obvious from the moment that the man, young and handsome, had stepped onboard the starship he marked it as his own. He had looked at Captain Kirk as a man that he would soon replace and he had treated him in a likewise manner.

Both McCoy and Spock had noticed the furrowing of Kirk's brows when he looked at the younger man. They noticed how like silk his voice became and that his pleasantries were forced. They also noted that Kirk treated the man as if he posed little threat, perhaps knowing something the fledgling didn't.

Alone in the Sickbay, McCoy had broached the subject to Spock. "I wouldn't be that Officer for all the tea in China."

Of course, Spock was quick to point out that all the tea in china had been confiscated by the Empire and was now held in stock reserves in San Francisco. The Doctor was equally as quick to point out that that was not his point.

One thing was clear however: Following a particularly venomous meal held in the Captain's company, one which had found the two hot-headed males at each other's throats, albeit with compliments and insincerities, Grimlow was not found in the morning.

The former meal was remembered and still fresh in everyone's mind.

When Grimlow still did not show himself during the important trade commerce with the planet, the very reason why he had come to the Enterprise and a fact the man had been most proud of, Kirk was left to take over the diplomacies and intricate searching, offering and threatening.

He did it just as well and far more successful, saving the Empire a fair deal of money and causing the Miners quite a deal of pain, than the younger man would have. The vanishing of Grimlow was not a concern of the Empire. They did not care now that the deal was finished and an agreement made.

"Not just a coincidence, hey, Mr. Spock?" McCoy asked.

The Vulcan nodded in his usual way. He did not reveal if he was scared or felt any other emotion towards the whole affair. He treated it the same way he would a piece of meat being stolen from a replicator. It was trivial and the look on Spock's face, a look of pure apathy, sickened and worried McCoy just as much as the disseverances. He did not want the one man he was closest to become too lazy and fail in watching his own back. Of course, he doubted the man would ever offend Kirk openly. The two men in power had become quite use to the acceptance of their relationship in regards to each other.

McCoy was not as sure about his own. He found himself becoming cowardly and he cursed himself for it.

And as the stardates came and went, it was finally realized by every member of the crew, from the highest ranking, next to Kirk of course, to the lowest, that something was occurring on the starship and that it was connected to Kirk and the standings of other's in his own view point. If he was threatened a miraculous thing befell the man: The offender soon vanished.

Though, no one was using the word vanish or disappear now. They had been replaced by words more violent.

At one point, Amy Brown joined the missing. McCoy had cast a questioning glance in Kirk's direction on one visit to the bridge only to win a venomous stare and eventual shrug from Kirk. The Doctor was relieved when it was informed to them that Ms. Brown had left the Empire. Her father's attempt to keep her high position had backfired upon him. Without her lover, and fearing the true events of what had happened on Kehil Lay, she had fled from the Empire's hold and grown disillusioned. McCoy admired her bravery, once again feeling the bitter sting that he could not share it.

After every disappearance, McCoy persuaded Spock to let him visit the now vacant quarters of the dead. It was like visiting a tomb. He would find one object before the items were packed away and sent to whomever was survived, always something that could not have been of importance, a glass or a book of forms and rules. He collected them as killers kept tokens of their victims, save he was not a killer and he did it out of remembrance of the lost. And always there was the guilt, as if he was really somehow a part of the murder. McCoy resigned himself to the suffering, knowing that he was in a way. He had played a major role in the ship becoming a death trap. He paid for it in shame and lack of sleep, fear that one day his office would be vacant, having outgrown or become a threat to Kirk, and he would be unfound as well, no one mourning for him or searching.

And in this fear, and the Empire's own lack of concern, McCoy knew its true horror.

It was intolerance and ignorance which the Empire had been built on. For all their introduction of life beyond the world of humans, they had only accepted those who shared their pride and ambition for power. Anything new, that did not wish to follow them had been denied and stamped out. Or simply forgotten like the growing list of Kirk's enemies.

Maybe there had been a moment where something else, peace, acceptance would have been the choice and foundation for a new world. But that was long since past and who had the strength to fix those mistakes and enough humility to cry for them?

Time passed, as it was known to do. People lived and died with the same pace and unerring hand so days became one and bled crimson blood into the next.

They destroyed McCoy even while they left so many alone because he felt each death. His profession, and this time not only his secrecy with the Captain, cursed him to remember and feel remorse for every last breath taken and see it as a mark of failure, for he could not prevent them. He was best able to determine that is should be quick and painless if possible.

And walking through the sin and sorrow was Spock, claiming it did not effect him at all, so that McCoy became obsessed with bringing the man to bleed and weep with him so he would not feel so damned alone. While a part deep inside McCoy knew that the Vulcan was the last pillar he leaned on, though he would never confess it.

The Doctor leaned onto the man's strength and held onto his logic, finding it comfortable for at least it was stronger than pain and kinder than greed and that if he ever saw Spock giving in to the same despair he felt growing, they would both die, knowing there was no sanity left in the world.

Note: Sorry for the long time updating! I was doing a little thing called Nanowrimo for November, plus, I lost the last part of this chapter which I'd written months ago. I finally found it today! I am hoping that I can update more frequently in December. I will also be working on a Torchwood Christmas one shot for Ianto/Jack so if you're interested in that keep your eyes peeled! :)