Title: The Future is Nuts!
The morning after…
"He's just so cute, Daniel."
"Vala, that's me you're talking about."
"I know." She brought a finger to her chin in thought. She used her other hand to stir around the mush that the cook called cereal.
Her husband knew that look. That look meant she was thinking. While Vala thinking was not necessarily bad, this particular kind of look was ominous. "Do I even want to ask?"
"Well, it's just…" An evil grin graced her features. "His memory is going to be erased, right?"
"Yeah," Daniel answered suspiciously.
"And you don't remember any of this, right?"
"No." He scrunched up his face, suddenly realizing where this might be going. "Vala…" he warned.
"Would you mind if I… you know… with him?"
"What!?" Some people in line for food stared in their direction.
"Well, I almost did. What would you think if something really did happen last night?"
"I would… uhh, I would…" he stammered, not sure what to say.
"Would you be jealous, Darling?"
"No. I mean, yes. Wait! No! That's me."
"You don't sound too sure."
"Vala."
"What? I'm just asking for hypothetical reasons. If you don't want me to put the moves on you, then I won't."
"No, I don't want you to put the moves on me, so don't." He followed with a smug smile of confidence that Vala countered with a calculating grin. Her smile outsparkled his easily. Daniel's face dropped into his hands. "Oh shit." Lost again. Damn Vala and her talent for manipulating words. He'd have to work for it tonight.
Vala patted him on the head and stood up. She picked up her tray and headed to the trash can. Not more than a few feet away, the original SG-1 walked through the doorway of the commissary. She noticed this immediately, and so did her husband. Daniel watched as she approached the team.
He made the move to stand up, but Mitchell pushed him back down. "Just wait," he said as he set down his tray, "I wanna watch. This could be fun."
Daniel scowled at his friend. "How is watching Vala torture my former self fun?"
Mitchell gave him a look. "Do you honestly want me to answer that question?"
He blinked. "Nevermind. It was rhetorical."
"Right." They turned their attention back to the space pirate.
"I hope you all were comfortable last night," Vala said with a wink in the younger Daniel's direction. He turned beet red and looked away.
"Yup, slept like a baby," O'Neill replied. He didn't miss the exchange between Daniel and Vala. "You, Carter?"
"Slept great, thanks."
"T?"
"I rested quite well, thank you."
"Daaaaaaaaniel?" he stretched out his name.
"Wha.. huh? Oh, yeah yeah. Just fine." He tried to fake a smile. Sam and Teal'c made their way to the line.
Vala put on a look of concern. "Are you sure? You seem… tense." She took a step forward. He took one back.
"Uhhh, no no, I was fine." He could barely stand her instense stare. Jack simply stood there, observing.
The older Daniel slapped his forehead. "Of course, Jack has to hang around and get all the details." Mitchell smirked in response.
Vala lifted her hand to his forehead. "You're a little hot, Daniel. Can I get you anything?"
A nice cold shower. "Nope, I'm good, thanks."
"Hmm. I'm sure you are," she said, lacing her words with innuendo. Jack stifled a laugh as Daniel turned even redder than an apple.
"You know," he cut her off loudly before she could add anything else, "I'm not that hungry. I'll, uh, go hit the gym for a little bit." He did a 180 and briskly walked away.
"Suit yourself," Jack called to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Daniel break into a run once he was out of Vala's sight. Turning back to Vala, he shrugged. She smiled innocently in return.
In the background, Mitchell laughed his ass off.
"Where is Daniel?" Sam wondered. She placed a few chips in the middle of the table.
Teal'c looked up from his cards. "He has been missing for quite some time. Perhaps he has fallen ill."
"Yeah, maybe," Jack said with a fake look of concern. "We should go find him." He set down his cards and stood up. "Let's start with the gym."
They found him there, three hours after he had run out of the commissary. He was still red as a beet, but more from working out than from embarrassment. Daniel was huffing and puffing as he rode an exercise bike at high speed. He seemed distracted.
Sam moved closer and called to him. "Daniel?"
The sound of a female voice startled him. He nearly fell off the bike. After righting himself, he reached for his glasses on the bike's console. He looked up at Sam. "Oh, Sam. Hey."
"DanielJackson, have you been here all this time?"
"Yeah I have."
"A bit much, don't you think?" Jack looked around to find the place nearly empty.
"Indeed. Humans should restrict their exercise to three times a week, less than an hour per day."
"Well, Teal'c, I'm just making up for lost time."
"Bull." Jack's eyes went wide. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Jack," he said with a warning tone. Daniel cleared his throat. "I'm just gonna finish up here if you don't mind."
His friend smiled. "Uh huh."
"Perhaps I will exercise as well. It would seem to be an excellent way to pass the time."
"Yeah, sounds like a good idea, Teal'c," Sam agreed. They left to go change.
Jack grinned at Daniel, who was resetting the control panel on his bike. The archaeologist could feel his mischevious eyes boring holes into him. The tension finally got to him. "What!"
"Oooh, a little tense, are we?"
"No, I am not tense. Aren't you going to exercise, too?"
"Maybe. Maybe I'll use one of these bikes here."
"But Jack, your knees."
"My knees could use a little exercise."
Daniel scowled in suspicion. "Why don't I believe you?"
"Daniel, would I lie to you?"
"Yes."
Jack paused. "Okay, then, since that's settled."
"What do you want, Jack?"
"Nothing." They stared each other down for the next few moments. Finally, Jack broke the silence. "You've got the hots for her, don't you?"
Daniel's eyes went wide momentarily. He quickly regained control and replied calmly, "I don't know what you mean."
"Now who's the liar?"
"Jack."
"She's got you all wound up, doesn't she? Can't say I blame you; she is pretty hot. And I mean H-O…"
"Sir?"
"Carter!" Jack jumped. "Ready to kick some punching-bag ass?"
Teal'c raised his eyebrow. Sam gave him a strange look. "Uhh, sure."
Daniel pointed to the other side of the gym. "They're over there." Jack high-tailed it over to the corner as Sam followed.
Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back and turned to Daniel. "Of what was O'Neill speaking of when we arrived?"
Daniel smirked. "He's got the hots for Vala."