Puck lingered in the hallways of William McKinley High School. He had spent the previous night thinking of the best way to implement his new plan of action, operation "Prevent your best friend from claiming your unborn child as his own without looking like a pansy ass bitch." The title might be a little long, but Puck thought that it accurately described his goals.

The main objective of the plan was to get Rachel Berry to temporarily be his girlfriend. For some strange reason, Finn had been mooning over Rachel like a lovesick puppy that Puck wanted to put out of its misery. If it looked like Puck was hooking up with Rachel, then Finn might get jealous enough to break things off with Quinn. Being the nice guy that he was, Puck would then swoop in to take Finn's place.

The plan seemed relatively simple until Puck remembered that he had to actually be nice to Rachel Berry.

Rachel freakin' Berry.

Puck couldn't remember the exact number of slushies he had thrown in her face over the years, but he had his suspicions that the number was higher than Finn could count.

In order to maximize his chance for success, Puck decided that he needed to change up his dating strategy. Seducing a geeky, self-absorbed, show-tune singing teenager was definitely going to be different than seducing an experienced cougar. For starters, hot moms usually took one look at his muscular body (with abs upon abs) and nipple ring, and melted into a puddle at his feet. He was pretty sure that Rachel Berry could care less about his looks. Therefore, Puck determined that he would have to turn on the charm.

When the lunch bell rang, Puck hurried over to Rachel's locker. He gave himself one final pep talk by muttering "Who's da man? That's right, you da man" under his breath.

Rachel was shoving notebooks into a locker that was covered with (what else) stars.

Acting casually, Puck said, "Hey, Rachel."

Rachel appeared startled. "Am I in your way? You know, you could just go around me."

"No, you're not in my way. I just wanted to say that I thought you sounded really good at glee practice yesterday. Nice pitch." Puck struggled to think of another compliment he could give. Somehow, he didn't think the statement, "The style of your sweater reminds me of my grandmother, but I guess what's underneath it isn't too bad" would do the trick.

Rachel didn't react to his compliment the way Puck thought she would. She craned her neck to look at both ends of the hallway before saying, "My pitch is not just nice, it's impeccable. Also, where are the cameras?"

"What cameras?" Puck asked in a confused tone.

"The cameras documenting our conversation," Rachel said matter-of-factly. "There must be cameras here because you are being nice to me. That means one of two things. Firstly, we could be on some new reality TV show that follows a bully and his prey. That seems somewhat far-fetched. Or option number two, the more likely option, is that you have set up a nasty prank that you wish to record for posterity."

Puck stared at Rachel blankly. He was now convinced that Rachel was not only a weird chick, but also a crazy one.

Rachel continued on…"Just so you know, I don't give free press or interviews. And if you're planning a prank, then you better expedite the process because I am on my way to lunch." Rachel slammed her locker shut and turned to face Puck head-on.

Puck shifted from one foot to the other. "Look Rachel, there are no cameras and I don't have anything planned."

"Okay, what is the real reason for your accolades then?"

"Um," Puck stuttered.

"Do you need someone to do your homework?" Rachel asked impatiently.

"No."

"Wash your car?"

"No."

"Restring your guitar?"

"No one touches my guitar but me."

Puck had to put a stop to this insane guessing game.

"I came over to your locker because I wanted to know if you were free this weekend. If you are, then I thought that we could go see a movie or something. I looked at the listings, and thought you might like to see Fame."

"Oh, I do want to see that mov…" Rachel paused before her mouth erupted like a volcano spewing thoughts.

. "What's the catch? Why are you asking me out? Did you talk to Finn about me? Just because I had a momentary lapse in judgment in the auditorium and at the bowling alley does not mean I am easy despite what he may have said…" Rachel was panting at this point.

Puck reached out and grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, "Dude, you need to stop and breathe."

Rachel took a couple of deep breaths. Puck let go once he felt her shoulders relax. He then set out to answer all her questions.

"There's no catch. No, I haven't talked to Finn about you, and I seriously doubt there is anything remotely easy about you."

"Come on," Rachel responded. "I know all about your reputation."

Puck smiled innocently. "What reputation?"

"That you will go after any girl, regardless of age, because you really like to…" Rachel trailed off.

Puck enjoyed seeing the embarrassed expression on her face. "I really like to what?"

A pink flush crept up Rachel's cheeks. "You know what you like to do, it rhymes with your name. Well, your nickname anyway."

"Are you referring to the fact that I drive a truck?" Puck teased. "Or that I occasionally eat duck? Or that I like to fu…."

Before he could get out the last consonant sound, Rachel clapped her hand over his mouth. "Your vulgarity astounds. Here's a rhyming word for you, you make me want to upchuck. Good bye!" Rachel turned and took a few steps down the hallway.

"Rachel, wait." Puck jogged the short distance to catch up with her.

Rachel stopped in her tracks.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I'm also sorry about the way I've treated you in the past. Now that I'm in glee club, I'm a changed man and I know how much hard work you put into your singing. I thought going out with you might be fun."

Rachel raised her eyebrows and gave Puck a look that said she was not buying the crap he was trying to sell.

Puck sighed. His plan was not going the way he wanted it to at all. It would have been easier for him to charm the coach of the cheerleading team, Sue Sylvester. At least she looked like she knew how to have a good time.

"Okay Rachel, I am going to level with you. I asked you out because I was hoping we could pretend to date for a couple of weeks."

"Why would you want to pretend to date me?"

"I am trying to help Finn out because right now, he is being a major buttwad."

Rachel ignored his choice of words, "I am not following your logic. How would my being your fake girlfriend help Finn?"

Puck pointed to his head and said, "My boy's messed up en la cabeza. He's confused about his feelings. He likes you, he likes Quinn."

Rachel interrupted, "Quinn's pregnant. Finn has a responsibility to take care of her. I am no longer in the picture."

"We're in high school Rachel. Finn has an obligation to Quinn's fetus, but they aren't married. He can date whoever he wants to."

Rachel had a guilty but hopeful look on her face. "Finn said that he likes me?"

"He didn't have to. You'd have to be a deaf and blind mute not to know that Finn wants to be the leading man in your life story. Who needs regular talking, you two could just sing to each other all day long."

"I still don't see how this is any of your business."

"I'm making it my business. Not to get all Babysitter's Club or anything, but Finn's my best friend. The guy needs to straighten out his head. If he thinks we're dating, he might get jealous enough to realize that he really wants to be with you. Or, he might figure out that he should be with Quinn. She deserves to be with a guy that truly cares for her, just her. Either way, I'm hoping that after he makes a decision I won't have to listen to anymore of his whining."

Rachel was thoughtful for a moment before she spoke, "I guess that makes sense, but part of me thinks that Finn and Quinn should be able to work on their relationship without any outside manipulation. I don't want to potentially take Finn away from his child."

Puck reacted strongly, "If Finn stays with Quinn out of obligation or guilt they could end up resenting each other. And then the kid would be the one who suffers. No kid should ever feel like they were unwanted or a mistake."

Puck paused. Rachel wanted to ask him a personal question about his own childhood, but the serious look on his face made her hold her tongue for once.

Puck coughed to cover the awkward silence, "Anyways, I just want my friend back and I was hoping you could help me with that."

"I find your concern surprising, but also genuine. I don't think you have to worry about that baby though, Finn is going to make a wonderful father regardless of his relationship with his child's mother."

Rachel had been trying to make Puck feel better, but for some reason that she didn't understand, his face fell further when she had uttered that last sentence.

"Yeah well, that's what people tell me. Too bad we can't all be like Finn," Puck said mostly to himself.

"I gotta get going Rachel, but promise me that you will at least think about what I said? Please?"

Before she could stop herself, Rachel nodded her head and said, "I promise to seriously consider your proposal."

Puck started to walk backwards down the hallway and away from Rachel. "Who knows," he called out, "You might just get the man of your dreams out of the deal." He winked and then disappeared around the corner.