SG: Sorry it's taken so long! Midterms were hectic, and then I got sick. RED BELL, N-E-1?

Chapter 3: Kick the Can! (Or Not)

It was a peaceful, spring morning. I was half-awake on the windowsill, enjoying sunlight waft in from the window, and land on my nose. Birds were chirping in the distance. The sound of the windmill churning complimented the tweeting, and, for the first time in a long time, I was happy. I debated opening my eyes, and after a few moments, decided that it was a good idea.

"Oh boy!" Molly said. Her face was less then two inches way from mine, and a large, hulking smile was painted across it. She still hadn't brushed her teeth. "You're awake!" She moved her head out of the way, letting me see that Kevin was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Unfortunately," I said, "I am." I sighed. "What is it this time?"

"We're going to RickRoll you!" Kevin said. "We've been working on it all night!"

I cocked my head. "What are you talking abou?"- Molly flipped on an old stereo and Kevin started belly dancing and stripping at the same time.

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand


What I have I gotten myself into? I almost cried.


Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Kevin was completely naked now, and Molly started singing the song while gargling seltzer. I tried to turn away, but the two of them were reflected in the window.


We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

"Kay," Kevin said. "We're done now!" He put his clothes back on.

"Liek," Molly said. "What did you think?" I mused over the question for a few, brief moments. I then opened, my mouth, but nothing came out of it. I just let it hang, my lower jaw hanging like uranium dangling from a crane in Natanz. Finally, I whimpered "Do you know a good therapist?"

Later…

We were in the Garmon Lower Mine. The Dynamic Duo had finished up farming, and had decided to give mining a shot. The two had bought hammers at the blacksmiths. Several pitfalls later, we landed on the 10th floor.

"Guys! Look!" I said. "It's the Red Bell pedestal!"

"I wonder where the Red Bell is…" Molly pondered.

"Well," I began, "I was looking on a fansite and"-

"Maybe it's gone forever," Kevin interrupted.

"But that would mean we can't ring it!" Molly burst out.

"Guys!" I tried again, but to no avail.

"Man, this sucks," Kevin said. "Whoever took the bell is such a spoilsp"-

I stuck my fingers in my ears, and prayed for death. Or for new material – which ever comes first! Luckily, a man came down the stairs at the moment.

"Hey," he said. Booze rolled from his mouth, like pointless edits from a 4Kids show. "You new around here?"

Kevin and Molly turned around. "Yup," Kevin said. "I'm Kevin, and this is my sister, Molly."

"I wanna be the very best – like no one ever was!" Molly said.

I should have seen that coming.

"Uh, neat," The man said. "I'm Owen." Owen then escorted us out of the mine, as we were all done.

Passing by the carpenters, we saw Bo. He was facing towards the wall and counting down from 10. When he noticed us, he said "Oh, hey," and turned around to face us. "Chloe and I are playing Kick the Can. Wanna join?"

"Sure," Kevin said. "It's the least you can do after you kept us waiting for the bridge."

Then, I saw it. The Red Bell. "Kevin!" I whispered. "Look!" Kevin whipped around, and, apparently, he saw the serious of the situation. A twerpy girl, about 9, was running towards the Red Bell, gaining momentum for a kick. Kevin sprang into action, for once. He rocketed towards the Bell, outrunning the brat with his superior agility.

"I wanna win!" Kevin exclaimed.

…Wait, what?

Kevin slammed his foot into the Bell, sending it flying into Ramsey's chimney.

I shrugged. By this point, I had learned not to let their antics annoy me.

"Whoa!" The Molly said. "Nice one!" The girl came back, not as impressed. "Not bad, for a newbie." Boy started totaling up the points.

Ramsey's door flew open just then, Ramsey himself following suite. "WHO CLOGGED MY CHIMNEY?" Kevin blinked, and pointed at the girl. "She did!"

"Chloe!" Ramsey started. "You have a lot of work to do!"

She mouthed "I hate you," towards Kevin, and proceeded inside. Ramsey then said to Kevin and Molly "I'm sorry my granddaughter bothered you. Would you like some tea? It's the least I can do."

After tea time…

"I can't get it out!" Chloe insisted. She had been tasked with removing the Bell by hand. "Fine," Ramsey relented. "We might be able to remove it if I could make a strong enough fire…"

"Use my shirt to start it!" Kevin said. "Heck, use all my clothes! Underwear included!"

God, the world must hate me.

Kevin stripped, and the Red Bell came popping out of the chimney.

"See," Ramsey said to Chloe. "You really should be more altruistic, like this fellow over here." He patted Kevin on his naked back.

Kevin started to pee.

Deep in the Garmon Lower Mine...

"Liek," Molly said, putting the Bell on the pedestal, "We did it! We did it, yay!"

Alan emerged from the Bell. "Uh," He said, emerging from a groggy sleepiness, "that was some party last ni"- then he saw Kevin. "MY EYES! MY EYES!" He shielded his two eye sockets, and screamed "I'll ring the Bell, just put some clothes on!"

And thus, the power of fire was returned to the land.

The next day…

I awoke to strange moaning sounds coming from outside. "That you, guys?" I asked, forcing my lids open. I glanced around, and saw only Molly in the house. The two of us went outside to find the source of the noise.

Kevin and Renee were having sex in the hot springs.

Author's Note: I promise the next chapter won't take so long to be written! Also, if anyone had a joke they want me to use, just tell me in your review! I might find a way to implement it!

Also, I'm sorry the chapters are getting progressively shorter. I'm just writing them later and later at night.

Review please!