Awkward.

That was the only word that Puck could come up with to accurately describe the atmosphere of his double date at the local teen hangout—the Burger Barn and Bowl-a-Rama.

Actually, he could think of a couple of other words that would also fit nicely: strange, odd, bizarro, unusual, peculiar, and freakin' weird.

Puck settled on the word uncomfortable. His sitting next to Rachel Berry and across from Finn and Quinn reminded him of the anxious feeling that he got when waiting to get a physical at his doctor's office. Inevitably, the dreaded moment would arrive when the doctor entered the exam room and ordered him to take off his pants. Whenever that happened, Puck always wanted to shout, "You take your pants off first; then see what it feels like having someone stare at your junk!"

Unfortunately, Puck thought, no one was taking their clothes off at this particular moment. If that happened, he might be more entertained.

As it was, Rachel and Quinn were trying too hard to talk and Finn wasn't trying at all.

Going to the Burger Barn and Bowl-a-Rama had been a strategic move on Puck and Rachel's part. Rachel mentioned to Puck that she and Finn shared some history in bowling alleys that could be used to their advantage (Puck was unclear as to what the hell that meant). Puck had just wanted to go to a place where the food was cheap and greasy and the background was noisy.

He had gotten his wish, but the loud sound of bowling balls striking pins was giving Puck a headache. Speaking of headaches, Puck looked over to Rachel who was currently telling Quinn and Finn about her entrance into show-biz.

"…so anyways, my dads have both said that once I had my training pants off, I hit the ground running…and here I am today." Rachel said.

Puck took a sip of his soda. "Fascinating," he deadpanned.

Rachel sighed because she could see Puck's disinterest. Since she prided herself on being a fantastic conversationalist and also good at improvisation, she changed the subject.

"So Quinn, what's it like not being a Cheerio anymore? Do you miss it?"

Quinn was slouching in the booth absently stirring the ice in her lemonade. She was currently wondering what had possessed her to suggest this group outing. She must have been out of her mind, she didn't want Finn anywhere near Rachel and she certainly didn't want to be sitting across the table from Puck where she had no choice but to look into those deep eyes of his. If she was being truthful, Quinn had wanted to go on this double-date to fully assess the situation. She had to know if Rachel and Puck were actually serious about each other and if Finn had any lingering feelings for Rachel.

Quinn shook her head to clear her thoughts and try to answer Rachel's question even though now all she could see was Puck's arm casually draped around Rachel's shoulders. He better not try to grab some boob while I'm sitting right here Quinn thought.

"I do miss it a little. The routines were hard but it always felt great once we nailed them."

"I bet you don't miss Ms. Sylvester threatening you all the time thought," Finn said while polishing off his second plate of French fries with ketchup.

"She was actually always kind of nice to me until I became this huge disappointment." Quinn cast her eyes downward.

Puck hated to see Quinn look that way, embarrassed and ashamed. He was the one that had put that look in her eyes.

"Screw her," Puck said in a deep tone.

Quinn looked up with an expression that seemed grateful.

"Yeah, who needs her." Finn added. "I bet she knows nothing about babies. I can't even picture her being a little kid. Maybe she's a changeling. I saw this movie the other day where a human baby was snatched in the middle of the night and replaced with this ugly, little gremlin looking thing that was green and it wouldn't stop drooling…"

Quinn placed her arm on Finns to get him to stop.

"I'm just saying I think she's a demon." Finn muttered softly to himself, "She's evil."

A waitress came by and dropped off the check. Puck reached for it and glanced at the total. He pulled a twenty out his wallet and said, "This will cover me and Rachel."

Rachel grabbed some singles out of her own bag, "I've got the tip."

Finn reached into his pockets, dug around for a while, and pulled out a crumpled five dollar bill. He looked sheepish and said, "This is all I got. I must have left my wallet in another pair of pants."

Quinn went to grab for her bag, but Puck shook his head, "I got this." He took a few more bills from his wallet which was now looking a lot less empty. It was going to take him a long time to earn some more money, but it was worth it.

"I'll pay you back man, I swear." Finn sounded angry at himself.

"Whatever dude, just forget it," Puck assured him.

"Well, bowling is on me," Rachel stated.

Puck started to refuse, but Rachel shushed him saying something about paying attention to equal rights and abhorring blatant displays of sexism.

"Okay," Puck sighed, "Let's bowl."

********

Puck watched Rachel grab an eight-pound neon green ball and approach the lane with slow movements. To Puck, Rachel seemed a little unsure of herself, which was unusual for her.

Finn was still putting on his shoes, but he called from his seat, "Do it just like I showed you Rachel."

Since Puck's mind was almost always in the gutter, he couldn't help but think that Finn's advice was a thinly veiled reference to some sexual position. Puck definitely did not want to think of Finn and Rachel gettin' it on.

Rachel threw the ball with little force, and it did not reach the pins.

"Harder, Rachel!" Finn called.

That's it, Puck thought. Rachel was his pretend girlfriend. He was going to be the one to help her.

Puck approached Rachel and placed his arms around her. He showed her how to pull her arm back and keep it straight. He also showed her the best angle at which to release the ball. She mimicked his actions before telling him to step back so she could throw.

"You got this Rachel," Puck said.

She nodded, took a deep breath, and let the ball go.

"I knocked down five pins!" Rachel squealed.

"Not bad," Puck smiled.

"I guess you're only as good as your teacher Rachel," Finn said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Puck asked.

"Nothing," Finn muttered. "It's just that everyone knows you're not the best bowler. Your temper gets in the way."

"It doesn't matter guys, it's just a game," Quinn said trying to keep the peace.

Instead of saying anything, Puck decided to let his bowling do the talking. He picked up a ten-pound blue ball and threw it as hard as he could.

CRASH!!!

The ball flew through the air, over the barrier, into the lane adjacent to theirs, and knocked all the pins over.

The bowlers next to them glared at Puck while Finn started howling with laughter.

Puck slunk back to the seats. "Shut-up. At least I got a strike."

"Yeah," Finn gasped between laughs, "but not in our lane." Finn held onto his stomach, "the best part is that it never even touched the ground; it's like you were trying to throw a curveball."

Puck chose to believe that this outcome just proved that he was an excellent bowler; any idiot could knock over the pins in their own lane. He had just upped the level of difficulty.

Finn's laughter finally began to subside.

"It's your turn Finn," Quinn said. "What name do you want me to put into the computer for you?

Rachel had chosen #1Star and Puck had gone with the ever-tasteful Puke.

"Just put my regular name," Finn said while standing up.

"That's no fun," Rachel responded.

Puck decided to mess with his best bud a little.

"Come on man, why don't you just pick one of the names that you use when we play with the guys on the team."

Finn's eyes narrowed. "No, I'm good."

Puck scratched his head and pretended to think.

"What's that name you liked that one time? Oh I remember…Waxed balls."

Finn remained silent.

"Don't like that one, how about…Ball buffer."

Finn's nostrils flared.

"You don't like that one either?"

Puck ticked the following names off:

"Finger-hole."

"Hard wood."

"Narrow shaft."

"Bump-her."

"Pin-sucker."

Finn took a threatening step forward.

Puck couldn't resist one last name.

"I've got it," he snapped his fingers, "Last time you chose…Penis face."

Finn pointed at Puck and stated simply, "You're dead."

Rachel stepped between the two guys before things could get out of hand. She turned towards Puck, "Okay, that name is not even remotely related to bowling."

"Don't look at me; Finn is the one who picked it."

Rachel whipped around, "Is that true Finn?"

Finn shrugged. "Yeah. When we were getting ready to bowl, some guy walked in and he had the longest nose I'd ever seen. I'm talking long, and he had bad skin and the nose was kinda wrinkled, and well it looked like a…"

Rachel put up her hands, "I think I can guess the rest. You decided to pay some weird tribute to his face."

Finn had his fists raised like he was getting ready to swing.

Puck kept his concentration on Finn until he heard a soft giggling noise in the background.

The giggle started off slow, but increased in intensity until it was a full on crack-up. Puck looked around and saw Quinn doubled over in her seat laughing hysterically.

Puck, Rachel, and Finn weren't sure how to respond. Quinn was laughing so hard now that tears were coming out of her eyes.

She saw the group looking at her strangely, but Quinn couldn't stop. She tried to explain herself between laughs.

"You…(laugh)...guys...are…(giggle)…so stupid…(wheeze)…pin-sucker….penis face…(laugh)…"

Puck had to admit that those names were kind of dumb. When he thought back to that guys' nose, Puck couldn't help but laugh himself. Rachel and Finn joined in and the four of them stood/sat there cracking up for several minutes.

Looking at each other only made things worse, so Puck and Finn walked a few feet away until they could better compose themselves.

When they finally returned, Quinn was wiping her eyes and Rachel was muttering some sad lines from Les Miserables to keep herself from laughing.

"Sorry," Quinn said. "I don't know what came over me. Between Puck's terrible bowling and Finn's colorful name choices, I just lost it."

"Boys are definitely the inferior sex," Rachel told Quinn.

Quinn smiled. "Hey, we agree about one thing."

Quinn stretched her arms and let out a big yawn. Finn took note and said, "It's getting late. Maybe I should take you home."

"We can finish our game another time." Rachel added.

"Okay," Quinn agreed. "I am pretty tired."

She and Finn changed out of their bowling shoes and grabbed their coats. Quinn took one last look at Puck and said, "Thanks for coming. I had fun." Quinn did a good job of covering the sadness that entered her eyes as she said the following, "You guys are really good together."

Quinn and Finn waved good-bye and then walked to the exit.

Puck watched them leave. Now that the double date was over, he was feeling very unsettled. Throughout dinner, he had watched Quinn's body language. It was clear to Puck that Quinn trusted Finn and depended upon him. Yet at times, Puck could have sworn that she was staring at him. At first, Puck thought he might have food on his face. But even after several swipes of his napkin, Quinn kept sneaking glances. That had to be a good sign.

However, Quinn had also told him that he and Rachel made a good couple. What the hell did that mean? Was Quinn telling him that she didn't care, or was she sincerely trying to be happy for him?

Puck rubbed his temples. He hated drama. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take or how much longer he was willing to wait. Maybe Quinn would never want him. In the meantime…

"You ready to go?" Rachel asked interrupting Puck's thoughts.

Puck grabbed Rachel's arm. "Hell yes. Let's get out of here."

********

"Here we are," Puck said pulling his car in front of Rachel's house.

Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt. "Thank you for driving me to my residence."

"No problemo."

Puck noticed that there weren't any lights on in the windows and that the house was completely dark.

"Is there anybody home?"

"No. My dads are out and they won't be back until later. They are taking a couples cooking class at the community center. They say it helps keep their relationship fresh."

Puck gave a half-smile, "It's funny."

"What is?" Rachel asked.

"It's funny that you have two dads, and I don't even have one."

"I don't have a mom though. Well, biologically I do, but I've never met her."

Puck got serious. "Do you miss her? Do you ever wish that your family was more normal?"

"We're in America; being abnormal is normal."

Puck gave Rachel his best bitch-please look to get her to answer the question.

Rachel leaned back against her seat. "It's hard to miss what you never had. Although, I guess it would have been nice to have another female to talk to during my awkward stages."

"What stages would those be?" Puck was curious.

"Oh you know, everything from potty-training until now."

Puck flashed his full grin which, Rachel had to admit, was pretty charming.

"Yeah, I love my mom, but there are certain things that guys can only talk about with other guys."

Rachel nodded. "Dads are important."

"I think so too," Puck said mostly to himself.

Rachel opened the passenger door, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll walk you in," Puck said opening his own door.

"Why?" Rachel was a little surprised.

"Have you never watched Dateline? Because some sick, weirdo rapist or kidnapper could be lurking around the corner ready to pounce that's why."

"I feel safer already." Rachel retorted.

Puck walked with Rachel the twenty feet to her front door. Rachel dug around in her bag until she came up with her house key. She unlocked the door and opened it a few inches. Puck shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but stayed standing on the porch. Rachel wasn't sure what he was waiting for, it's not like he could be expecting this to end with a good night kiss like a real date would. They were just pretending.

********

Puck didn't know why the hell he was still standing on Rachel Berry's front porch. It's not like they had been on a real date. Quinn wasn't around, so he didn't have to be nice to impress anyone. He should leave. Just when Puck had made up his mind to take that first step towards his car, Rachel spoke.

"Do you want to come inside?"

Puck knew what he should say; he should be a smartass and say something snarky like, "Has the house been fumigated against your type of nerd disease?"

Puck opened his mouth to deliver such an insult. Instead, he heard his voice simply say,

"Yes."

Puck wasn't sure if he or Rachel was more surprised. Puck knew that it was his voice that had actually spoken because he had heard a slight twang that was both sexy and smooth.

Rachel opened the door the rest of the way and walked through. Puck found that he could finally move, so he followed Rachel and closed the door behind them.