Another day in Looney World.

That's what everyone called it. Because the world, was, well, looney.

The Global Mayor of Looney World paced up and down in his office. He had a big problem, on his hands, yesiree, a very big one. One false step could mean the utter destruction of Looney World. And it was UTTER destruction, not just damage caused by those random ACME bombs that randomly fell everywhere.

The mayor sighed, and finally worked up the courage to press the button of the screen in front of him. The screen flickered into life, and then the mayor saw the interior of an alien ship, with various alien lurking in the background.

The person – or the creature – he had intended to talk to was peering at him through the video feed. With eyes that glowed white but the rest of his facial features were obscured by the shadows cast by the ridiculous helmet he was wearing. The rest of his getup was equally stupid – golden armor and a long red cape, an outfit reminiscent of a Roman Centurion. But what could you expect from Martians?

'Good evening,' Global mayor Porky Pig politely said.

'You may call me Marvin,' the Martian replied coldly. 'Have you come to re-negotiate?'

'As a matter of fact, yes,' Porky smiled. 'P-p-p-please focus your spy cameras on Sector A3809 of Looney World.'

Marvin's glowing eyes narrowed as he accessed something off-screen. Porky waited patiently. He was a born leader – what he had in his chubby appearance, he made up in his nerves of steel and his iron fist. He also wasn't as unfit as some people might think.

Now he watched Marvin's eyes narrow even further as he saw what the feed on his spy camera was. When he turned back to stare at Porky, he appeared dead furious.

'It was my impression that you wished this conflict to end with minimum casualties.' Marvin softly said. 'But instead you insist on making this harder.'

'Looney World refuses to just give in to the Martians,' Porky growled. 'We will do whatever necessary to fight back.'

Marvin shook his head. 'You don't understand, do you? I merely wanted to take over this planet peacefully. But instead, we've got ACME nuclear missiles pointed at each other.'

'Yes,' Porky nodded. 'If you launch your missiles, we'll launch ours. And that would be catastrophic for both sides. I suggest you simply back off and return to Mars.'

He waited respectfully for Marvin to speak. Marvin's next words, however, chilled him to the bone.

'This makes me very angry,' Marvin said. 'Very angry indeed.'

With that, the screen went blank.

Outside of the Mayor's office, Looney World commute was proceeding as usual.

As creatures filed past one another in the busy street, Daffy 'Duck' Dodgers suddenly disengaged himself from the crowd. Half man, half duck and in an expensive green suit, he was a man with a mission.

Dodgers opened the violin case he had been carrying and withdrew a T1000 ACME Multi- purpose Sniper Rifle. No one who was passing by found Dodgers and his rifle an immediate concern. Sure, he was going to assassinate somebody, but it wasn't them, so there was nothing to worry about.

Dodgers carefully looked into the scope, and positioned the rifle. Through the ACME scope he could see, from 1km away, the head of his target: Yosemite Sam, local drug lord. Dodger's furry finger tightened on the trigger.

Sam's head exploded in a red mist and he fell out of Dodger's view. But it hadn't been Dodgers who had killed him.

The green suited assassin looked beside him to see his rival bounty hunter, Elmer Fudd. It was Fudd who had killed Sam.

'Well, Duck, looks like I'm claiming the bounty,' Fudd grinned. 'Again.'

Elmer Fudd was one of those people who you just didn't like. Smoking a cigarette and dressed in dirty army fatigues. Holding another ACME sniper rifle. There was something about all those things which made him annoying.

'Good afternoon, Fudd,' Dodgers greeted him politely, not letting his true feelings show. 'I guess you won the bounty fair and square.'

'That's right,' Fudd replied. 'No matter what, I'll always be better than you.'

'Even though you're only human?'

Fudd snarled. 'Shut your trap or I'll shoot you,'

As Dodgers prepared for a fight, there was suddenly an explosion behind him. Damn. It was raining bombs again.

Without a word, the two hitmen sprinted across the street and into cover. ACME bombs rained down on the street and the unfortunate people who were no fast enough were reduced to a bloodstain on the gravel.

Dodgers had no idea why the bombs were falling and he didn't care – some things in Looney World were just plain illogical. But if he had to guess, it was probably Wild E Coyote's gang and RR's gang throwing bombs at each other in the air, and a few stray ones were falling. The two gangs had been fighting for so many years they had forgotten the reason for their feud in the first place.

The managed to make it to safety by entering a random bomb shelter that was lying by the pavement. How it got there was another mystery for another day.

'Man, that was some fine rain!' Fudd whooped. Dodgers glared at him, when suddenly both of their phones rang.

They answered their phones at the same time, and the Global Mayor Porky Pig appeared on the video screen.

'Good, you're all here together,' Porky grunted. 'I assume that Yosemite Sam is dead?'

'You betcha!' Fudd said. 'And I was the one who did it.'

Dodgers said, 'Sir, why did you call both of us?'

Porky's face grew serious. 'You are aware of the Martian threat, yes?'

Of course they both knew. Some Martian calling himself Marvin had a dozen ACME missiles pointing at earth.

'I've tried negotiating with him, but its no use,' Porky sighed. 'So I now give you authorization to do what I think you know what to do.'

'Oh I know,' Fudd shouted with glee.

'You'll be working together for this assignment,' Porky said, and that made both hitmen groan. 'It's too dangerous for either of you to attempt it alone,' Porky continued.

'Sir, you haven't told us our assignment,' Dodgers said, but of course he knew what the assignment was already. He was just asking to be polite.

'Your assignment is,' Porky began, 'to assassinate Marvin the Martian.'

Note: I know this is extremely OOC but it will be explained(to some extent) in Chapter 6. I'm really really really really desperate for reviews, so PLEASE just drop one word or two. You can still review if you're not logged in.