Bugs quickly jerked his head left, and the mallet shattered stone to his right. Bugs grabbed the Mutt's hand and twisted, causing the mallet to fall onto the ground and roll away.

'You did that on purpose,' Bugs said to Fudd, pulling the Mutt he was holding and sending him into a white-gloved fist.

;I knew you would dodge it,' Fudd replied, whipping out his shotgun. 'Guess we've got a fight on our hands. Hoo-rah!'

'You are quite annoying,' Bugs commented, and with a swift stroke he broke the Mutt's hand and tossed him away. He could have killed the Mutt, of course, but the Global Mayor had a strange moral compass, and had earlier ordered Bug not to kill anybody that was not crucial to the assignment.

Now, the Mutts advanced.

'Engage hostiles!' one of them barked.

'We could all get this sorted out,' Bugs held his hands up in a pacifying motion. 'We haven't done anything wrong. We are just on government business.'

'You have hurt a police officer! Engage hostiles!'

Bugs sighed. That was clone mentality for you.

'Woopee! A fight!' Fudd gleamed as he flipped his shotgun around to use it as a club. He smashed it into a Mutt's face as another swung a mallet, which was easily dodged.

Bugs went up against one Mutt. With precise movements, his fingers jabbed at every vulnerable spot – the neck, the pelvis, the sides…within seconds the Mutt was on the ground, unable to feel his body.

'Tsk tsk,' Bugs murmured, when suddenly there was a sudden click click.

'Do not move,' the last Mutt said. He was holding a pistol instead of a mallet. 'Or I will have to shoot in self-defence.'

'Buy Bugs,' Fudd said, safe because his opponents were already defeated. 'Nice knowing you.'

'You have a right to remain silent,' the Mutt spoke in a detached voice, but his attention was focused on Bugs. 'Please come with us quietly.'

'Now, now, mister,' Bugs walked forward, carefully watching the Mutt's hand.

The Mutt pulled the trigger.

Bang.

'So you see,' Bugs continued, his head now tilted to one side where he had dodged the bullet, 'as I earlier said, we have done nothing wrong – '

Bang. Tilt.

' – we happen to be on a very important errand actually, and can't afford to waste time – '

Bang. Tilt.

' – so if you just stop to explain the reason for our arrest I can sort this out and we can happily go on our way – '

Bang.

This time Bugs sidestepped and with one quick stride he reached the Mutt, disarmed him and threw him onto the ground.

'Why can't we just get along?' he sniffed.

'Show off,' muttered Fudd. 'C'mon, let's get out of here before more arrive.'

'Too late.'

'Shit.'

About twenty more Mutts had arrived on the scene, and passers-by fled the scene. Several tended to their injured comrades while others aimed pistols.

'Freeze or we will engage.' the emotionless voice droned.

There were twenty of them this time, and Bugs knew he wouldn't be able to dodge twenty bullets all at once. So he slowly put his hands up.

'Fine, I surrender,' he said.

Fudd was more hot-blooded. 'Aw, come on wabbit, we can take 'em!'

'Now we can't.'

'Yes we can!' Fudd snarled, and raised his shotgun. Quick as a flash Bugs extended a finger and delicately pressed the fleshy area at the top of Fudd's neck, and the assassin fell down unconscious.

Bugs sighed as the Mutts closed in around him.


Thirty minutes later, he arrived at the police station. Fudd was still out.

'Why have you arrested us?' Bugs repeated. The Mutt stared coldly at him before turning away. Bugs thought briefly about trying to escape, but the twenty Mutts were still surrounding him. They certainly never left anything to chance.

Fudd was carried to some place while Bugs was led by the friendly twenty into the inner sanctum of the police station. The Mutts finally stopped outside a door

'You are about to meet the leading officer of this establishment,' the Mutt droned. 'Please be respectful.'

Bugs calmly opened the door and walked inside. He expected another Mutt. But to his surprise, he saw a female bunny sitting at the desk.

'Well, well, well,' Bugs said. 'Lola Bunny. In charge of the police force, then?'

'That's right,' Lola said stonily. 'Now sit, down, Bugs. Let's have a little chat.'

Bugs sat down. The last time he had met Lola was when he had been trying to hook her up. That hadn't ended well.

'So, to what do I owe the pleasure?'

Lola did not indulge in small talk. 'I received an anonymous tip-off that two assassins were going to kill somebody. So I sent my Mutts to investigate.'

'We're just assassins. We do our job. Nothing wrong with that.'

'Tell that to the families of the people you've killed.'

Bugs sighed again. Lola was one of those strange people who were even more morally blinded than the Global Mayor. 'Apparently the Global Mayor doesn't feel the same way, it was he who brought us in as hired hitmen in the first place.'

'Just because the Global Mayor – '

Bugs held up his hand. 'I hate moral debates. Now let's stop dawdling and get down to business. Basically, we have done nothing wrong. You are imprisoning us against our will for no valid reason. I wonder how the Global Mayor is going to feel about that, eh?'

'You won't be seeing him for a while.'

'Hmm?'

'You haven't heard? It's all over the news. He sent two assassins to kill Marvin the Martian.'

Bugs sat bolt upright in his chair. 'What?!'

'I had a suspicion those two assassins might be you and Fudd, so I sent backup to bring you in.'

'Wait, wait. Who spread the news about the assassination attempt?'

'Another anonymous guy. Now…'

'There's a traitor in the Global Mayor's administration. Someone – '

'I don't give a shit about that. What I'm trying to tell you that its wrong to kill Marvin the Martian. If you do, what happens? Mars will retaliate.'

'And if we don't kill the Martian, Mars will attack anyway.'

'Not true. We can resolve the situation to diplomatic means – '

'So we give them half of our ACME supply just so that they don't attack?'

Lola was silent.

'Okay, I'm out of here. As I said, you have no right to keep me here.' Bug got up. 'I trust your Mutts won't shoot me if I leave?'

'They never kill.'

'They tried to kill me.'

'Shit. I thought they grew out of that.'

Bugs shrugged and started to leave this sorry excuse of a police force, when suddenly Lola said, 'I know where Dodgers is,'

Bugs turned. 'Duck Dodgers?'

'I know he has the only working invisible space shuttle in the world. He's not here. But I have the shuttle. You need it?'

'Lola, you drive a hard bargain. So that's the reason you called me here. To suggest a deal?'

'Of course.'

'Knowing full well that if I fulfill the deal I will kill the Martian?'

'I won't be too sure of that.'

'Mmm. What's the deal.'

'Gang activity has been soaring lately. Mainly between Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner.'

'Call him Double R.'

'Whatever. Innocent people have been caught in the crossfire. So I want you to put a stop to it.'

'Assassinate Coyote?'

'Bring him here alive.'

'I can't guarantee that.'

'Just do it.'

'You understand, of course, that the reason that no one has been able to kill him because he is quite powerful. I may not be able to do it.'

'I have faith in you, Bugs.'

'Please, no references to my past life. I'll do your job. Have that shuttle ready by tonight.'

'Good.'

Bugs paused. 'You know, this world is a lost cause. The police force is a joke. You'll never be able to make a difference.'

'Yes. I will.' The three words were spoken with solid determination.

'You know, I once knew a man who was like you. He was a superhero of sorts. Went around beating bad guys – but never killing them.'

'Then?'

'He died. Murdered by one of the guys whose life he had spared.'

Bugs then turned, and walked through the door. 'Just some food for thought.' He commented. 'Send Fudd out after me, will ya?'


Bugs waited outside the station for five minutes before his phone rang. It was the Global Mayor.

'Any progress?' he barked.

'In progress,' was all Bugs could say. Porky got the message.

'I need you to get it done by 6:10pm, Bugs, or else the world is screwed.'

Bugs looked at his watch. It was 5pm. 'Why so soon, sir?'

'That's the deadline for me to withdraw my missiles. Of course I won't do that, so it's up to you now.

'And another thing, Bugs. There's a traitor. Someone told Marvin and the media about the assassination attempt. I've only told you, Fudd, and several of my advisors about the assassination.'

'So you're suspecting me?'

'Yes.' There was something beautiful about that one word, Bugs reflected. The traitor could be easily anyone. Fudd, the advisers, even Porky ...

Even himself.

'And Fudd too?'

'Not so much. He's smart and he loves money. He'd know it would be better in the long term if he stuck by me. But still, he's a suspect.'

'And your advisors?'

'Of course they're suspects too. Now listen here, Bugs. I want Marvin dead by sixth past six, or else I'm terminating your contract.'

With that, the ever friendly Global Mayor hung up. Bugs closed the phone just as Fudd staggered out of the station and towards Bugs.

'You bloody wanker, you tried to – '

'Later. We're on a strict deadline.'

Bugs started to stride down the street, Fudd grumpily following. Quickly Bugs brought him up to speed.

'So we kill Coyote?'

'Yes – although – '

Bugs and Fudd both stopped dead in their tracks.

The two figures in brown coats were standing in front of them, blocking their path.

'Please move aside,' Bugs politely said, but of course they didn't.

Instead, they whipped out knives. Big knives for the tall one, short knives for the tiny one.

Fudd's hand went for his shotugn, but Bugs held him back.

'i'll handle these guys,' Bugs said coolly.

'What?'

'We're on a deadline. There's only one hours left, and we can't let these goons slow us down. We have to split up.'

Fudd shrugged. 'It's you funeral.'

Fudd took out a bottle of pills from his jacket and swallowed the whole bottle.

'I never knew you had a pill addiction.'

'Shaddup, and do your thing!'

Fudd ran at the two creatures and jumped over them with an athletic bound (although he landed clumsily). He got to his feet and sprinted across the street. The tall coat started to follow, but what interrupted by a gunshot which he barely dodged.

'Your opponent is me,' Bugs said.

The two coats regarded him silently. Then they advanced with their knives, the tall one approaching from the left, the short one creeping up from the right.


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