In and Out of Love-Chapter 18
By MyNameIsCAL
I stayed up with Gazzy and Nudge. Midnight had expired hours ago and we sat around in mostly silence. Nudge was torn, I could tell. Gazzy and her exchanged a few words every now and then. I wondered if I should say something, but I don't because I think the only reason Max hadn't gone to bed was to stop me from speaking.
But Max had fallen asleep, her head resting against my leg now. It had been an hour already and neither Gazzy nor Nudge showed any sign of going to bed yet. The TV was on, but none of us were watching. I worried about Nudge. She looked, I'm not sure if this was the right word, but she looked distraught.
"I'm so stupid to even care," Nudge blurted out suddenly.
Gazzy opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. He was scrambling for words in his head, but nothing was coming out.
"You're not stupid to care," I spoke quietly.
Nudge sniffled. "Really?"
"I know how you feel. It's hard to watch someone you love so much go off with another person. I know how that feels, and it'll tear you apart and you'll spend nights sleepless thinking where you went wrong." I had no idea where these words were flowing from. "But you have to let go. The time and energy you waste on blame and feeling hurt will amount to nothing. Iggy will always be your friend…your brother. He's not going to forget about you."
"But you got Max back." Nudge looked like she was going to cry.
"Well…" She had a point too.
Nudge shook her head. "Yeah, I know what you mean, Fang. You're right. It's not worth it. He's actually going to marry Ella. It's not like Max was going to marry someone else, but thanks."
"You'll find someone else," Gazzy took his turn at speaking now. "And things will get better, I promise."
I held my breath as Gazzy's arm slipped around Nudge's shoulders, but she leaned her head onto his chest, looking more teary eyed than before. Poor kid. If Iggy knew, I'm sure he'd feel really guilty, but then Nudge would only feel guiltier.
The one thing we could be thankful for was that Iggy and Ella wouldn't get married until she finished college. That was still another year. Planning for it wasn't going to suddenly start. I don't think Nudge would have been able to endure something like that so soon.
"Nudge still has two years of college left?" I asked Max as we lay in bed discussing everything.
"Yeah, two more years of fashion school." She gave half a laugh and then cut herself off, sounding more serious. "Do you think Gazzy will win her over?"
I yawned, stretching my legs. It had been a long few days. "I don't know. I'd like to think he will. Nudge will always be looking back, but most of her will get over it. I don't know."
Max pulled the blankets towards her. "You're probably right."
Iggy's time was occupied with Ella. They decided they were going to take a trip out to California, leaving Max and I without anyone to cook for us.
"I'm sick of pizza now," Max said, giving a disgusted look at the boxes that lay next to the garbage can.
"Then let's take my car out for a spin. We'll hit the old tavern," I spun the key chain around my finger. "And we'll pick up Gazzy and Nudge."
It was a sports car, my new car, black, but it still seated four people. As always, it was black, my favorite color.
We reached the car and I unlocked it. "I do get to drive my own car, right?"
"Give me the keys," Max stuck out her hand.
"No!" I frowned.
She gave me a dark look before breaking a grin, laughing. "Just kidding."
"That's such as awesome car!" Gazzy exclaimed as I parked at the tavern.
"And I'm not going to let you drive it," I responded.
"Oh, c'mon, Fang," Gazzy pleaded.
"If you give me a good reason, I will."
Gazzy rolled his eyes.
We walked into the tavern. Sam greeted us, as always, congratulating us on winning the trial, and seating us away from the other patrons. Max introduced Gazzy and Nudge to Sam. They exchanged a few words. Sam always welcomed people with open arms.
"It's nice to meet you," Sam gave them his biggest smile, shaking Gazzy's hand.
After some more small talk, he left to get our drinks.
"How does mom stand you with all those earrings?" Nudge asked.
Gazzy frowned. "I like them."
Nudge laughed. "I don't mind them."
He eased up. Gazzy was looking for Nudge's approval. I had to give him a hand for his determination. Once he had his sights set on something, he wasn't giving up. Perseverance. But you had to persevere for the right things.
The night ended at the apartment. Gazzy entertained us for a while, throwing his voice and mimicking the random people and celebrities on TV. It was fun and Nudge seemed to enjoy the entertainment. To think, back to when we were young, how Gazzy almost made Iggy and I kill each other over things he had pretended to say in our voices. It had been too long since I had heard Gazzy use it. I wondered if he did it at school. Second thought, maybe it was better I didn't know.
They all fell asleep watching TV. I called Mom to tell her that they were with us. Even though we were capable of watching over ourselves, I knew she still worried.
And for a while, I sat there, and thought about Max and Iggy getting married to Ella. I envisioned myself asking Max, getting down on one knee. First at a fancy restaurant, on the beach, and then at Sam's tavern. My thoughts started to overwhelm me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Of course thoughts of Max dances across the backs of my eyelids.
But no dream of Max would ever be good enough to the real Max that was asleep in my arms. I felt myself smile as I drifted off to sleep.