Story: Control

Chapter: Two - Fine, seriously (Fucked up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional) fine.

Pairing: Caroline/Damon, with some Caroline/Other, Damon/other

Summary: "If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough" -Mario Andretti. A study in control; one who considers her life in control and one who does everything he can to control those around him.

By the time she storms in her front door she is really freaking pissed off. She tosses her coat onto a chair and angrily chucks her purse to the floor – part of her hopes her phone breaks because if she gets one more concerned text from Bonnie or another ten million missed ( read : ignored ) calls from Elena and her mother, she will probably have to scream. Loudly.

This is getting ridiculous.

Seriously, she is fine: Fine, fine, fine, perfectly fucking fine. And today it seems she has had to justify just how fine she really is more than she can begin to count.

Elena may seem indifferent to the world in a my-parents-died-nothing-else-matters-anymore-way, but apparently she has latched on to this (i.e. a perfectly private matter between Damon and herself) and won't let go.

One tiny bite mark, seriously, it could have been an intense hickey. She hadn't even witnessed the ones lower down thank god, or else she probably would have had the entire police force on her case. One tiny bite mark and suddenly she has become this abused woman and suddenly Elena has decided to turn her into a personal healing project. Not only that but Elena has decided to sic Stephen on her too, this perfect boring, haven't-even-had-sex-yet couple is now watching her every move – oh, goody.

Damon has made no effort to contact her these past few days and she has no doubt that Stephen is behind that.

She sighs angrily as she steps in front of her mirror, judging her reflection with a clinically precise eye.

Her reflection smirks back at her. See? Fine. Flawless makeup, perfect hair, perfect skin, flawless figure and while she's at it, a killer outfit to boot. Okay, so her skin is paler than usual, hello, that's why bronzer was invented. So what if she is thinner than last week? Cheerleader mentality is true, you can never be too thin- seriously, and so what if she is sick of wearing that same old scarf? She needs a reason to shop for new accessories anyway.

She knows she looks better than half of this damn town, she knows she looks good enough to turn all those horny high school boys on; and she's pretty sure she looks good enough to keep Elena off her fucking back.

But she doesn't look fine.

Flawless makeup, perfect hair, perfect skin, flawless figure, empty eyes, cold smile.

She doesn't look fine at all.

But so what?

Nothing has changed, she is not some battered woman who doesn't know how to leave her man, she already knows he's going to kill her – or at least that's what he says, but really, she doubts he could get by without a regular serving of cheerleader blood and sex with someone of her caliber. Or at least that's what she tells herself – sleep easier right?

She is fine….ish

She's fine.

No, actually, she is pissed. And frustrated because now she is either spending her days defending her health to everyone or defending the last shreds of control she has left with Damon. She is not that clingy dependant girl, she can't be, she makes fun of those girls and she steals their boyfriends just to show those babies what happens in the real world. She can't be that girl.

So Damon hasn't called, let alone come over in three days, so her insides are churning with worry and need, she can't acknowledge it, she can't recognize the feeling of dependency , she refuses to, just as she refuses to spare more than a glance at the cuts and bruises on her body – she is not that girl.

And besides, on a practical level, their relationship is without definition. Technically she hasn't cheated on him, but if they aren't …..official it's not cheating anyway. She has no clue what he has done; she hopes he isn't sleeping around -if only because she wants to believe she has enough draw to hold him- and in a weird, fucked up way, she doesn't want him sucking blood from anyone else either. There is something oddly intimate the way he drinks something from her that is so vital, so necessary for her survival. Or maybe she is reading way too freaking much into it. Still, somewhere deep, deep down she hopes that she is more than just a personal blood-bank. Whatever.

She rolls her eyes at herself. Stop acting like a love-sick loser. Stop acting like a loser and stop acting like that girl, because she sure as hell is not that girl

At least not today.

Today she wants action, today she wants to forget the fact she has a sickeningly whipped team of babysitters, and a mom who is protective enough to monitor the websites she visits and the shows she watches. Today she wants to forget about the scarf, about his face, and his lips, and his teeth on her neck. Today she wants to prove to them, to her mom, to him… to herself that she is perfectly freaking fine, in fact, she is stellar and most importantly she is in control. What she needs is to get drunk. She needs a drink and she needs a boy who doesn't care about the taste of her blood after a few vodka coolers. She needs to prove this to herself.

Fifteen minutes finds her outfit sluttier and tighter than ever, twenty has her hair sparkling and long. Another ten and she has drawn on a new face, less pale, more man-eater. Forty-five minutes total and she knows she looks hot, forty five minutes total and her heels click with a slightly maniacal confidence. Foot on gas, radio loud, speeding down the highway getting the hell out of town. Next stop: Archland University. Destination: college boys – she always preferred a challenge- oh she is more than just fine today, and she is going to prove it.

hey,

First off thank you SO (1000000 X )much for all those reviews. Truly truly it made my life, I was not expecting such a great response =)

Secondly, I swear Damon is a main character in this story, he's just hidden at the moment - that said, he will be out to play in the next chapter. And I definitely want to do a chapter from his point of view because I think he will be really interesting character to explore, not to mention hot.

So Caroline comes off more than a little self centered in this chapter, and I mean she is a self centered person to some extent but I was thinking more along the lines of being so caught up in your own world that when people are trying to help, you don't actually see it as help, just as annoying. You know? I hope I'm making sense haha.

Anyways I would love to hear any reviews you have.

Merci