Countdown

Chapter Seven

There she sat, alone in a café late in the evening, about seven days after her return from Italy and now all she had was about three months and a year. Far too short. And the only one who knew about her time span was Kanda and he was pushing. Where will she be going? What will happen when time runs out? She would never let him know the last one. All she told him was that she had to go back to her family and he wouldn't see her for a long time… Emphasis on the 'long'. She took a sip of her coffee as the band played its jazzy tunes. Sure she could have some espresso in the HQ's cafeteria but Kanda would be there again. At first she thought it was touching that he cared so much… Now it was just damn annoying. Couldn't a girl just have her secrets!? Lenalee must have been secretly dating Allen for about two years-at least that's the gossip in the science lab. As far as they know, no one knows about them yet. But I'm sure as soon as Komui finds out Allen will die a horrible death. Poor guy. Youko giggled to herself thinking about the horrid clean up after the brother's rampage.

"That's good. At least I know you haven't lost you personality yet," a familiar voice stated pulling a soft chair up to the table.

"Why do you say that? Have I lost my soft touch, Lavi?" she asked closing her eyes and lifting the cup to her lips again.

"Ever since you came back with Kanda, you've been different. Second guessing yourself even. That's just not you. So I've come here to ask you something…"

Youko looked at him from across the table. He looked almost dead serious and to be honest, that just frightened her. Lavi was her savior, Lenalee her spirit lifter, Allen and Timcampy her laughing buddy, and Kanda her… well she didn't really know what to call him right now. Seeing her savior like this was terrible. Maybe she did something offending to him? Though she had no clue how that could have happened since he didn't show any type of hurt in his eyes-it was more rage actually. The band changed to a softer jazz, one that was for relaxing and the darkness outside had finally settled in through the window. Fog was rolling in and it wasn't very uncommon for London this late in the evening but with Lavi very pissed off at the moment everything was foreign.

"What did that bastard do to you?" Lavi finished, snapping her out of the daze she had entered.

"Wh-wh-what?!? N-no, he didn't do anything! I-I'm just a little tired lately a-and he knows something that I k-kind of didn't want him to," she stuttered, trying to piece together a lie before any more questions were asked.

"What did he read your diary or something?" he joked and she was glad to see his softer side resurfacing.

"No. I wish-and that doesn't mean I have one so if I find you snooping around my room, I'll snap your head off."

"So it's too deep to be written huh? Well, since we're here why not tell me?" he asked, leaning forward so his arms rested on the table.

"Too personal. Besides, I can handle it myself. It's getting late; I'll see you tomorrow alright."

Youko started to rise from her chair and a waiter came to give her the coat she had checked. Lavi's expression was more than enough. Saying 'I'm disappointed that you won't tell me' without any words leaving his lips. Taking the last sip from her cup the exorcist left for the door. She turned around to wave at him while adding,

"Oh, can you get this for me?-Thanks bye!" she hurried before he could reject.

What was a few dollars out of the man's pocket? As long as she could get as far away from him as possible within the next few minutes. Street lights shown through the fog and Youko had no trouble following the sidewalk. But she didn't really know if she was going the right way. It would be nice to know the way out of the town by heart, just incase Lenalee or any other of her new friends found out about her problem and tried to stop her. She either had to leave early and quickly so that no one would know where she went, or make them her enemies. The second one sounded risky since she would probably get her ass kicked if she tried to fight them on her own-plus she couldn't even bring herself to fight them if she absolutely had to. She flicked her collar up to cover her neck since the cold wind had started to slip through her barrier. The jazz from the café was stuck in her head and she had to laugh at the image in her head. Black and white surroundings and a shady figure walking down the streets with the jacket hiding the face; how cliché! But the only thing that didn't fit was someone following said person, around corners and down alleyways… Definitely not Casablanca… And so after she was snapped out of that fantasy she was worried about this creeps'. She stopped and turned on her heel to come nose to nose with none other than her partner.

"Stop following me," she stated flatly.

The usual 'Ch' didn't come, but instead he actually started a conversation!

"What happens in a year and three months?"

"So you've been keeping track? That's sweet but how about I tell you when I want to."

She turned around and kept walking but the footsteps were still clear behind her. Her pace quickened but not into a full run, more like a really pissed off stomp. The fog was still thick but she had no troubles getting back to HQ. Neither did Kanda. Empty hallways helped echo the sounds of calm and booming steps and she finally stopped midway to her room just to turn around and yell at him.

"Stop it! I'll tell you when I want to!"

"That's not good enough!" he spat back.

That had to be the first time Kanda yelled at her, ever. Her mouth was gaping open for what seemed like an eternity. 'Wwwwwwwooowwwwwwwww. I can't believe he cares that much,' she said to herself. Now she was torn between to reactions. To slap him for yelling at her, or hug him for caring the way he did. Her back was facing him, but that soon changed when soft footsteps came from that hall. Each footstep created tension, whatever she was planning on doing she was making it very stressful to Kanda. He stood there, with his brows furrowed from frustration. This was too damn hard. Youko stood in front of him lifting her hand to rest on his shoulder. Her other pulled him in tightly and as fast as her actions were, Kanda amazing mirrored her embrace. And as quickly as it started, she left his warmth and landed her palm on his right cheek with an ear piercing crack. Her breath had quickened from the adrenaline of the last few seconds. Kanda's face had turned to the side from the force of the hand-on-face contact. Hair blocked the view to his eyes and her arm slowly lowered to her side. Through all of this, her glasses only lowered about a centimeter. Youko removed them from her nose and jerked out a small silky cloth from her jacket pocket. Her fingers laced with the fabric and traced circles over the lenses, removed any specks of dirt that had accumulated over the last few hours.

"You're slipping. I suggest a vacation from this hell of a job you'd be more comfortable," she recommended placing the glasses back on their rightful place.

"I'm perfectly fine the way I am now."

"Following me around, asking numerous questions, and asking other people about me? You're perfectly fine with me knowing those things about you?"

"I just want you to stay here longer! You're my… Friend," he hissed the word 'friend' practically killing him on the inside.

It tore her apart right then and there. Just friends… It's been over done in movies, sung about in lyrics to more than hundreds of songs, inscribed in romance novels that some only wished to be in to experience what the feelings of the character was like. But this was real far too real for her liking. A thunderous beating in her brain was killing her and she almost lost her balance. The silence that grew into awkwardness but it was broken by her breathy laugh. She brushed her hair back from her face and tried to redirect her line of vision. But she couldn't, as much as she wanted to-since tears gathered at the corners of her dark blue eyes-she couldn't. His eyes looked about as depressing as hers. But that couldn't be since she was just a… friend. The beating began again and this time it was in Kanda's head too. But this time almost completely shattered her. Walls came tumbling down, earth disappearing from under them… the list could continue. 'Just finish this,' she thought sadly. And she did.

"In a year and three months, I go back to my family…"

"Then I can still see-"

"But I'll have to do something I'll regret for the rest of my life. And I have to do it in front of my father," she interrupted his hopeful realization.

"What I have to do, it's not something I'll be proud of doing. But the bottom line is that you can never see me again. If you try to look for me, you'll never find me. If you write me, I'll never reply. If you try to call, I'll never answer. That's the gist of it," she growled, feeling her words drop to the floor from the weight.

"You've already told me that. I want to know what you'll regret, why I can never see or hear from you again," he demanded recovering from her painful-yet useless-explanation.

"I have to kill someone… Then go into-well let's just call it hiding," and then she walked away-started to.

He stopped her by using his skills to come up behind her in less than a second.

"Still not good enough. Who do you have to kill?"

"In a way, myself," 'Liar,' she said to herself

She sped up the stairs before any more questions were asked. She couldn't do this, so it was now or never. After slamming the door to her room she threw her bag on the small bed in the corner. Grabbed five pieces of parchment and some envelopes and sat down with a silver pen in her hands. Writing them only took a few minutes since she had been planning on what to say on her way back to her room.

Kanda had sulked back up to his room. Friend? You're my 'friend'?! What the hell was that?! Even he didn't know. Now that he knew what Youko had to do, would she not even think about her past time here and just leave after a year and some change? His bed creaked as he sat on it. The amount of information and drama he had taken in this evening was tiring. His hand lifted up to his face that was still stinging from-what Kanda thought of as-a sign of affection. His vision blurred as heavy eyelids started to pain him from all the nights of staying awake, hoping to catch Youko in case she decided to sneak out for the night. Perhaps out to the gardens. She hadn't been there in a long time; he even waited for her a few times, but hours of loneliness started to sink in and realization struck. She wasn't going to come, not after how he let his curiosity take him over. The night finally took him over and he was in a peaceful sleep before a soft tap came from his door and the sound of slow footsteps going to the exit of the Black Order. There were four other soft taps on doors before she finally reached the large doors that could lead her out of this crazy, different, fun, happy… 'Damn it stop! It's over,' she sulked as the doors silently opened and shut behind her. This was going to be the last time Youko Shirogane set foot on the grounds of the Black Order HQ. As far as she was concerned the year three months was up and she had to go home.

'We were only friends in the end right?' she repeated herself for about the seventeenth time that night.

Lathya and Soulless Ghosty… You guys are the coolest! Thanks for the feedback. It's what keeps me writing! Hope you guys like this chapter. I think it's shorter than my others and I'm really sorry if it is. And I'm sorry I haven't updated in like forever!

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