Chapter Ten

"A Kara in the Rye"

The Watchtower

Kara

"Look I appreciate it, Jonn, really, but I just passed out, is all. Maybe I'm growing too fast or something. Ma Kent is always telling me I'm getting so tall so fast, but it's usually her way of trying to push food on me. What is it with country Earth folk and packing in the chow, anyway? Just because you grow it doesn't mean you have to eat it all.

I probably shouldn't talk about them like that. They're nice people, but kind of a little touchy about the whole hayseed stereotype thing. I mean just mention Mr. You Know Who might be a little square and you might as well get comfortable because it's going to be like a three hour lecture. I mean, come on, it's like Green Acres out there! Farm living ain't the life for me, but don't say that to them. They get this look like you killed their dog or something. I know they were nice to you and invited you for Christmas, so don't freak out about it. I really care for Ma and Pa Kent; it's just, you know, a farm in the middle of nowhere.

What? Oh, the screaming. Look I really don't want to talk about it, okay? Yeah, I know, I scared the hell out of everybody screaming like that. Well, the screaming and the passing out and all wasn't something I planned. I got a big shock, okay? I'd just don't want not to talk about it.

You're not going to like probe my mind, are you, Jonn? Cause I got to tell you, you have kind of a creepy vibe going already and the whole mind reading thing ain't helping. Since I'm being honest, don't get offended, but what's the deal with your costume anyway? I mean, boots, a swimsuit, suspenders and a cape? Why suspenders and a swimsuit? Is that like some kind of weird Martian fashion thing or what? If you're going with the swimsuit look, why not scuba shoes instead of boots? Some consistence is all I'm talking about. How old are you anyway, Jonn? Maybe it's time for some big boy pants, a nice cotton blend, is what I was thinking.

Have I been depressed lately? That really came out of left field, Jonn. Wait, wait, are you trying to analysis me? Is that it? Can't someone scream and pass out without everyone freaking on her? God, if I wasn't embarrassed enough, now you think I'm suicidal or something. Is everybody going to be looking at me funny now? I can just hear them now, poor Kara, flipped out on the station, how sad. Bunch of phonies.

What's that? Clark's really worried about me? Ha. that's rich! I'm surprised he could take a break and get out of bed long enough to notice! I mean I'm only his flesh and blood, after all. If you really want to know, he's the reason I screamed, well, him and her.

Who's her? I don't want to talk about, okay? I don't even want to think about it, really. Maybe Zatanna can do one of those mind wipe things on me so I won't have it playing on a loop in my head.

Who? Zatanna? No, what does she have to do with anything? Come on Jonn keep up, will you? It was a joke, okay? How's that, I seem angry with Clark? Duh, Jonn. You know without that reading people's mind thing, you're really kind of slow on the uptake, aren't you? I've been here less time than you and I've picked up the culture, what's your excuse?

Sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you. You're just trying to help, I know. Okay, yeah, I'm angry with Clark. Satisfied? Not satisfied, huh? You want to know what happened, don't you? You're not going to let me just leave without telling you, are you? What? Would I feel more comfortable talking to Clark? He's right outside? Is she with him? No, Jonn, I definitely don't want to talk to him, ever! I already told you I'm mad at him!

Look, if you promise to keep this between us, I'll tell you, okay? Promise? Okay, the reason I screamed and passed out was because I saw Clark and her doing it. I mean full on, naked! They were going at it like it was the last day of their lives or something. I cringe a little bit just thinking about it. Yuck, gross, just disgusting, I mean who wants to see their cousin like that? Get a room, already, Jeez.

What? Well, yeah, technically they were in his room, but don't be all logical Martian on me, Jonn. I'm upset, okay? I didn't expect to see that when I came up here! Well, yeah, the door was closed, but I could hear them! I just took a peek is all. Invading his privacy? What about me, Jonn? I have to picture them doing it! It's in my head and I can see it over and over! I mean she was all arms, legs and boobs and he was, oh, God, I think I'm going to be sick!

Who is she? Power "Hi, these are my breasts" Girl, Jonn, that's who she is. Why did it have to be her, you know? It's disgusting! She's like a distant cousin or something. That's like hillbilly stuff the two of them dating! They'll have some mutant kids like in that movie Wrong Turn! I'll be an aunt to freaks! Now look what you made me picture, Jonn! Can't we just stop talking about this?

There not related? Are you sure? Thank God! I was afraid I'd be hearing banjo music the rest of my life. I guess she got over her disappointment at not being related to Superman by sleeping with. What a slut. I never really liked her to be truthful, Jonn. I mean you say their not related but she certainly acted like it around everyone. I mean, I'm his real cousin, his only flesh and blood family, but she's always horning in on it, you know? Everybody thinks they're related.

What? Why do I blame her for them being together? I'm not, its just Clark's a guy and you know how guys are. I mean half the guys up here practically drool over her when she walks around in that costume of hers. It's like they've never seen a pair of huge breasts before! I just want to shout, come on, guys, they're just breasts, okay? I mean between her and Diana they cause enough wood to start a bonfire.

She's all wrong for Clark, anyway. He's already forgetting everything that's important. I mean I've barely seen him all week. He's too busy screwing her to even think of his family. He's got responsibilities and obligations that he's just tossing aside to be with her.

What's that? He's doing his part, is that what you said, Jonn? Great, I should have known you'd take his side! One guy sticks up for another no matter where they're from. You're probably envious, aren't you? I know Wally is. He was there when I came to from passing out. She was standing there in a sheet while Clark knelt down to see if I was all right. I thought Wally was going to start vibrating the way his eyes were popping out of his head looking at her. What a horn dog, it's disgusting.

It only got worse when the others arrived. I mean I could have been injured or worse, but I could tell Zatanna, Shayera and Vixen weren't looking at me. Clark just had a sheet around his waist and you could feel their eyes roaming over him. I was right there and they didn't care! Even Dinah looked a lot longer than she had to. She's practically married to Ollie and she's checking out other guys? Hello, I'm okay, thanks for noticing, could you stop checking out my cousin for a minute, please? What am I invisible? He was holding me in his arms, yet they acted like I'm not there! What a bunch of phonies.

What? No, no, Power Girl went back into the room before they arrived. Only Wally saw her with him. Clark made him promise as his friend not to say anything. It must be killing Wally to keep it a secret. He's like the biggest gossip on the station, but he gave his word to Clark. No, I didn't say anything to anyone. I didn't want to think about it. I still don't.

Am I worried that Clark is replacing me with Power Girl? What like one cousin for another, except he can sleep with the new one? Now I'm definitely going to be sick. Thanks Jonn, creep me out just a bit more why don't you. Could you save the weird Martian psychology for another time, please? I don't have some Oedipus complex for my cousin Clark, okay? I just think he's making a big mistake, is all. She's the wrong woman for him.

I'm mad at him for not telling me. I mean we're really like brother and sister, yet he kept this from me. How do you think that feels, Jonn? He's the only family I have left; yet he can't take the time to tell me whom he's seeing? It's like since he started seeing her he doesn't care about anyone else. He hasn't been back to the farm in weeks, what do you say about that? Suddenly everyone that cares for him takes a backseat to her because she's sleeping with him.

It's the natural progress of life, is that what you said? You are really horrible at this, Jonn. Did you get that off some deep thoughts for the day desk calendar or something? What's next, every cloud has a silver lining? Jeez, what was Dr. Fate busy so you volunteered?

No, I don't want to talk to Clark. If he's right outside than he can hear me. Go away, Clark, I'm still mad at you! Go back to your girlfriend; I'm sure that's what you want to do anyway! You probably can't wait to give her the time, can you?

What? Give her the time means have sex with her, Jonn. You really need to get out more or watch some TV. I mean you're as bad as Diana calling it courting. At least she has an excuse, she's from mystical Lesbos Island but you've been out here in the real world for years.

Yes, I know not all the Amazons are lesbians, Jonn, okay? I have been there, you know. Just between you and me, some of them are more butch than Batman. I'm surprised their not importing flannel shirts and Doc Martins to the island yet. Live and let live, I say, but you're kidding yourself if you don't think there's some girl on girl action happening on that island.

Can I leave now? Look, what do you want me to say? I'm angry with Clark, okay? I don't like the idea of him dating Power Girl, okay? I don't like her at all, never really have, satisfied? Would I like them to break up, yes, okay? Do I want things to go back to how they were before he started dating her? Yes. Anything else?

Look, you did your duty, got me to open up and tell what's bothering me. You can put a gold star in your book for today, all right? I know I'm being mean, but I just want to get out of here. With the screaming and passing out, it's been an embarrassing day. Seeing Clark and her naked wasn't any treat either. I don't want to answer any more questions from anybody I just want to leave.

No, I don't want to talk to her. Absolutely not. No way. Forget it. What would I say to her anyway? Good luck screwing my cousin! Thanks for filling in the mental picture of what you look like naked having sex! You kids go knock one out! Please, Jonn, I just want to go home, okay?

Thank you.

Oh, Clark, if you're still listening, I'm still mad at you! I'm taking the big bedroom tonight, so you can sleep on the couch!"

(J.D. Salinger died January 27 at 91)