Chapter Twelve
"Words Spoken and Unspoken"
New York
'Falling in Love' is an expression you hear everyday. It's used so often to talk about everything from the car you drive to the brand of detergent you use. It has become commonplace, devalued for most, until it happens to them. Because of the constant references to it associated with everything else, it's actually hard to be sure if those feelings you're experiencing are really it. How do you know for sure if you're falling in love?
The debate over an exact definition of love may be found in literature as well as in the works of psychologists, philosophers, biochemists and other professionals and specialists.
A scientific mind might say it's just a chemical response to certain stimuli. These reactions have a genetic basis, and therefore love is a natural drive as powerful as hunger.
Others would theorized that individuals seek partners who share certain interests and tastes, while at the same time looking for a "complement" or completing of themselves in a partner.
The more romantic might suppose that it is finding the other half of you, a soul mate.
All may be valid arguments and theories, but for someone experiencing it for the first time, they are not much help.
As Karen walked back from the office to her home, her mind turned over these thoughts. Like most people her age, she had experienced crushes, infatuations, even lust, but didn't think she'd fallen in love yet. Oh, there were moments in previous relationships where she felt love, but they were only moments.
Being with Clark felt different from the others. Yes, there was infatuation and certainly lust, but she was starting to wonder if stronger feelings were beginning. Was it turning into love, she wondered? Was she in love with Clark, already?
No, no, she told herself, they'd only been going out a short time. She'd fallen hard with crushes before, so it was probably like that. The problem was it didn't feel like those crushes. The feelings weren't going away, they were intensifying. The more she was with him; the more she wanted to be with him. She just wanted him, period.
It was such a strange and both exciting and a little frightening feeling to want someone like this. She craved his touch and to touch him. She would never have described herself as oversexed, but she thought about it all the time with Clark. That part of their relationship she was sure she loved.
It wasn't just the sex though. Karen found she just liked talking to him, being with him. He was interested in her, all of her not just the physical side that most tended to focus on with her. He listened when she talked about her business and what she hoped for it. He seemed to see the whole person and wasn't intimidated. He didn't shy away from showing her his vulnerability either.
Karen definitely liked Clark more than any other man she had dated, but was it love? Could you fall in love with someone this fast? Did he feel the same way? Should she ask him or would that just freak him out and ruin everything? It seemed one question spurred ten more.
It was times like this she wished she hadn't been quite so independent since her arrival in this universe. She had been so determined to prove herself and make it on her own she hadn't let anyone in. She was trying to be better about it, but it was slow going. Karen secretly envied the way Shayera, Zatanna and Dinah were more than just teammates, but friends away from the station. It would be nice to have a friend she could call tonight to just talk about what she was feeling.
It was rather a shock to realize the person she was closest to was also the person she would want to talk about, Clark. Whether she was in love with him or not, Karen suddenly realized that somehow in the short time they were together, he'd become her best friend. Then he'd always been there for her. Wasn't it her seeking him out that started all of this?
As she rolled these thoughts over and over in her head, her cell phone began to buzz. A smile lit up her face as she saw it was a message from Clark. It said, 'call me when you get a chance. Can't sleep, couch much too small for me. Just want to hear your voice.'
Karen laughed and her mood brightened. If this is what it feels like to be falling in love, she liked it.
The Watchtower
Shayera, Zatanna and Dinah sat on one side of the table looking at Jonn, who was standing in front of them.
"So go ahead, Jonn, show us what you've come up with," Dinah said.
"All right, but please be honest with me," Jonn replied.
They nodded in agreement. Jonn seemed uncharacteristically nervous and took a deep breath. His eyes closed as if he was concentrating and then his uniform changed. The material rippled out and covered his entire body from head to toe. The cape and red crisscrossed suspenders were still there, but the rest was all green.
"Well?"
"I don't know," Shayera said. She looked at the other two. Zatanna made a face and shook her head no.
"It reminds me of wall to wall carpeting from some reason."
"I don't think you have the head for a hood, Jonn," Dinah added. She gestured awkwardly with her hands, trying to show him what she meant. "Not the right shape."
"All right, I have others," Jonn said, changing back. His body and clothing fluidly moved again, into tight trousers, no shirt, a sleeveless vest, heavy boots and wrist bracelets.
"How's this," he asked.
"Like Duran Duran in the 80's," Zee offered. "Very Hungry Like The Wolf."
"I love that song," Shayera commented. The other two just looked at her for a moment.
"What? I saw it on Best of the Eighties on VH1," she said.
"If you say you love Girls On Film, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore," Zee replied.
"You're such a music snob," Shayera fired back.
"It's called having taste."
"Could you two stay on topic for once, please," Dinah said. "Just for the record Hungry Like The Wolf is a terrible sound, Shayera. What else do you have, Jonn."
"Who is this Duran Duran? Should I know them," he asked. "I was told I should watch more TV."
"Count yourself lucky you don't know who they are," Zee said. "Now if you want to watch something on cable, watch Hoarders. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"
"Did you see the one with the guy who had all those vacuum cleaners," Shayera asked.
"I know! How about the one where the woman picks all her crap over her family? I just love that show!" Zee answered.
"I couldn't watch it after the episode with the woman that had 75 cats," Dinah chimed in. "I mean just imagine the smell! God that must be just horrible."
"So no to this outfit," Jonn interrupted. The women turned back to look at him.
'What? Oh, no, that's not good, Jonn," Dinah said.
"Perhaps this was a mistake."
"No, no, we're here for you, Jonn. Next outfit," Zatanna replied.
"All right."
Jonn nodded and this time turned around.
"Are you going to do an impression, Jonn," Zee teased. Dinah elbowed her to shut up. Jonn turned back and his outfit had morphed it almost a green version of Batman's exoskeleton. The red suspenders were still there but linked up to a heavy belt around his waist.
'Well?"
The women sat for a moment just looking at him.
"I know it's completely different, but it just came to me," Jonn explained. "Please be honest with me."
"Um, nice," Shayera said.
"Really original," Zee added. "Where ever did you come up with that idea?"
Dinah kicked her under the table.
"It's a bold choice, Jonn," Dinah said. He smiled in relief.
"Thank you, I think I will go with this."
He phased through the floor and was gone.
"Why did you kick me," Zee asked.
"You were going to hurt his feelings," Dinah explained.
"So letting him dress as a green Batman, isn't?"
"That's where I saw that before!" Shayera said, snapping her fingers. Dinah and Zatanna just looked at her in astonishment.
"What?"
Metropolis
Clark was half on and half off the couch. When he'd bought it, he hadn't considered one day he might have to sleep on it. As first he'd tried sleeping in the guest bedroom, but that hadn't worked. The bed in there had been bought for Kara and from the creaks and groans it was making he wasn't sure it would last a whole night under him. The other problem was the room smelled like her perfume. In fact now that he thought about it, the whole apartment smelled like her perfume.
Stretching his legs over the end, Clark sighed thinking of all that had happened during the day. Of all the ways from Kara to find out he was dating Karen, the way she did might be the worst. How he kept getting into these situations he didn't know. The fact Kara and Karen disliked each other only added to his problems. He tried to be an optimist for the most part, but was having trouble seeing an upside to that situation.
The one thing he was sure about was Karen. The feelings he had towards her were different than any of his other relationships. He had never felt such a physical and emotional hunger for anyone like he did for her. He had always been drawn to strong women, but she was even different in that regard. Smart and independent, yet she let her guard down around him. She was so beautiful but the surprising person he was getting to know behind that guard seemed to enchant him. Karen was bright and funny, even silly when she let herself be. She always seemed so restrained in the past, especially with the other League members. It was a surprise to realize he didn't really know her until now.
Then there was the physical side of their relationship. Clark knew he came off as something of an innocent or Boy Scout to most, but he had the same desires and drives as anyone else. It had never really been an option before, but with Karen he could finally explore that side. It seemed once he did, he wanted more of it. He hadn't been kidding with her when he said he felt greedy about being with her. The more they were together the more he wanted her.
Was he in love with Karen?
Clark was by nature a cautious person. The risks of letting his passions go were too high. He'd experienced love before, but there was always an element of himself that he held back.
Was he in love with Karen?
It was all so new between them. They'd only been dating a short while. Everything in his nature was telling him to be cautious, to go slow, ye the feelings growing inside of him were very familiar. The difference this time was more than just they were more compatible physically than anyone else. He was a grown man this time, not some teenager desperately pining for his high school sweetheart. They were both adults and that made their relationship different.
Was he in love with Karen?
Clark wasn't sure. It felt like more than just a crush or an infatuation. His feelings for her grew each time he was with her and the more he was with her the more he wanted to be with her. The plan fact was he wanted Karen.
Just think about her, Clark wanted her again, even if it was just to talk to her. Clark listened to the sound of Kara's steady breathing and hoped that she might be asleep. Since the couch wasn't going to offer him any rest, he pulled out his cell phone and sent a text to Karen.
A moment later she sent one back that said, 'is Kara asleep?"
He replied, "I'll check."
Glancing towards the bedroom, Clark softly said, "so what are you wearing right now, Karen?"
"Oh God! Give it a rest!" An unhappy voice shouted from the bedroom. Clark had to smile as he heard Kara muttering curses under her breath in the next room. He texted back to Karen," No, not sleeping."
"I'll call you later," she replied.
Clark was smiling as he set the phone down. He still wasn't sure if he was in love, but cautiously he thought perhaps he was taking the first steps of falling in love. That didn't seem like a bad thing at all.
New York
Karen finished texting back Clark and smiled as she thought of him. She was definitely going to call him later, whether Kara liked it or not.
She made her way up the stairs to her place and then the smile slipped from her lips. Slowly Karen inserted the key in the lock and opened the door. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. Reaching out, she turned on a table lamp. Standing in the shadows of her living room was Batman.
"What are you doing here, Batman," she asked.
"I think it's time you and I had a talk," he replied. His voice was hard and cold.