Irony

By Serena

Setting: AU Clone Wars

Summary: An accident causes Asajj Ventress to have some memory loss. And consequently, she falls madly in love with the first man she sets eyes on. Needless to say, the results are humorous. AU.

A/N: For the purposes of this story, everyone will pretty much be OOC. :D

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

CHAPTER SIX:"Like Master, Like Padawan"

"Are you sure she's got amnesia, Obi-Wan?" The high, almighty, never wrong Ki-Adi-Mundi asked in a haughty voice.

Obi-Wan, always irritated by the alien's holier-than-thou attitude, nodded with a frown, replying, "Yes. I've read her mind. She doesn't remember anything at all. She doesn't know that she's Force-sensitive, either."

"Which means she could become even more dangerous in the wrong hands," Mundi said knowingly.

"She's not a tool, Master Mundi," Obi-Wan said irritably, leaning forward in his chair. "She's a person with feelings. Someone who's alone and confused and knows nothing of the dark side or the light, for that matter. But we have a chance to help her become the Jedi she was always meant to be."

After seeing that all the Jedi were staring at him, he said defensively, "What?"

"You seem to care a lot about Ventress, Obi-Wan," Mace remarked suspciciously as he rubbed a hand over his bald head as he often did. Obi-Wan thought Mace did that because he was trying to prove that even guys with bald heads could be sexy. Unfortunately, for Mace, most girls really didn't think they were sexy. However, poor Mace didn't know that, and no one was brave enough to tell him.

Obi-Wan blushed. BLAST IT. "She's an… intriguing character," he conceded.

"She's a dangerous weapon!" Mundi broke in.

Yoda shot him a glare. "Asked you, who did?"

Mundi's mouth fell open in shock. "Master, I… well, I…" he stammered, his pasty-white skin only turning pastier. Obi-Wan made a face. Mundi really was unfortunate looking. The only two hot Jedi around were himself and Anakin. The dream team. In looks, skills, sharp wit. They had it all.

Except for girls…

Well, now Obi-Wan had Asajj.

Wait, WHAT? WHAT WAS HE THINKING?! BAD OBI-WAN, BAD OBI-WAN! What was WRONG with him today?!

Shaking his head, he cleared his throat and said, "Well, masters, she's waiting outside with Anakin. May I bring her in so you can see for yourself that she's innocent?"

"Absolutely no – OW!" Mundi let out a squeak as Yoda hit him with his cane.

Yoda smiled serenely as if nothing had happened and nodded to Obi-Wan. "Please, show her in you must, Obi-Wan. Look forward I do to meeting the new Ventress."

Obi-Wan shot him a grateful smile and walked out of the Council Chambers to find the once peaceful and organized hall…

In TOTAL CHAOS?!

Apparently, the gang, which now included Rex and Ahsoka, were playing a crazy game over hoverball. Much to his surprise, several other Jedi had joined in on the game, including Quinlan Vos, Aayla Secura, and Luminara herself.

"'Sajjie, go long!" Anakin shouted from down the hall as Vos guarded him. Then, he flung the hoverball down the hall towards Obi-Wan. Asajj, guarded by a laughing Aayla, squeaked, giggling, and took off down the hall, arms outstretched for the ball.

Ahoksa dashed after her to assist, and Rex, who was guarding her, was hot on her heels.

"In the name of - !" Obi-Wan started, right before Asajj, who hadn't been looking where she was sprinting, charged right into him, knocking him to the ground. "OOF!"

The entire group burst into laughter, and Obi-Wan blinked up in surprise as Asajj, white cheeks flushed from exertion, hopped gracefully to her feet and gasped. "Oh, Obi-Wan! I'm so sorry! Are you all right?"

Obi-Wan got to his feet, embarrassed. "Ah, yes. I'm fine."

She beamed. "Oh, I'm so glad. I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Of course not," he mumbled. You only wanted to kill me and torture me, but what does that matter now?

Anakin, laughing his head off, jogged up to them and slapped his old master on the shoulder. "Obi-Wan! Just in time for the lighting round. Nice catch, by the way, Sajjie," he said to Asajj with a grin.

Obi-Wan, remembering his anger, glared daggers at him. "Anakin, what are you doing playing hoverball in the Jedi Temple?! And what do you mean, Sajjie?" he demanded furiously.

Quinlan Vos, seeing his old friend truly upset, quickly put in, "Obi-Wan, relax. It was just a harmless game. Even Jedi need to have a bit of fun once in a while. We were just teaching Asajj how to play."

Apparently Anakin had filled Quin in on Asajj's condition. Obi-Wan still wasn't sated. "Asajj was recently injured," he said grumpily. "She shouldn't be playing in her delicate condition."

"You make her sound like an invalid, Obi-Wan," Aayla remarked. "When in fact, she's in perfect health! She's winning the game and beating our sorry butts, actually," she added with a grin to Asajj. "Next time, you're on my team."

"You got it, girl," Asajj replied, fisting Aayla's hand with a return grin.

Obi-Wan stared at them incredulously. "I'm not seeing this. I'm not seeing this," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes wearily. Once a hated enemy of the Jedi, now Asajj was the Hoverball Hero? Girl pal of Aayla's? Respected and liked by Anakin, who now called her by his own nickname? Sajjie?

This was not good.

"Oh, dear," he muttered, rubbing his bearded chin.

"What's the problemo, Obi-Wan?" Anakin inquired. "Did you want to play in the last round?"

"No," Obi-Wan sighed. "I came to get Asajj. The Council wants to meet her."

Asajj squealed excitedly, immediately latching onto Obi-Wan's arm. "Ooh, goody! I can't wait!"

"Trust me," Anakin said dryly, "It's worth waiting. Wait as long as possible. Do what I do. Procrastinate."

"Yes, and get them all the more angry and irritated," Obi-Wan returned with a slight roll of his eyes at Anakin's antics. "Don't listen to him, my dear. I learned a long time ago that ninety percent of things that come out of Anakin's mouth are pure rubbish."

"Rubbish!" Anakin objected with a scowl, folding his arms indignantly over his chest.

Obi-Wan shook his head again and turned to lead Asajj into the Council Chambers. "Excuse us, everyone," he declared as the doors to the chamber slid closed behind them.

After they'd departed, everyone paused in an uncomfortable silence.

"Well," said Anakin dejectedly, "There goes our game of hoverball."

"Yes," Quinlan added dryly, "What will we do with our lives?"

"Hack droids up?" Anakin suggested.

"Go on lovely dates – er, missions – with Kit?" Aayla said, sighing dreamily.

"Try to win Ahsoka's heart?" Rex added.

Ahsoka subtly stepped away from him. "Evade Rex?"

"Be good Jedi?" Luminara said.

The others stared at her. "Nah," they all said dismissively. Luminara shook her head, defeated, and went off down the corridor.

Ahsoka didn't notice Rex had slipped up beside her again until she glanced up at his masked head. "ACK! STOP DOOOOING that!" she shouted.

Rex didn't answer but held out a hand and opened it, revealing a pretty blue-green, exotic looking flower. "Here. This is for you."

Ahsoka stared at it, speechless.

"It matches your eyes," he added.

The others watched the scene with fascination.

Ahsoka stared at it, then looked up at him warily. "Nice try," she said, before whirling around and dashing around the corner.

Rex stared after her forlornly. Well, maybe it was forlornly. Nobody could see his expression because he hadn't taken off his precious mask since Asajj had hurled it at him earlier. But everyone did see his shoulders slump dejectedly.

However, a mere second later, Ahsoka sprinted back, snatched the flower from Rex's still open palm, shot him a glare, and took off again.

Nobody moved, stunned.

Finally, Rex straightened, cleared his throat, and swaggered off down the hall after her. As he rounded the corner, the group heard Ahsoka cry, "STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY CLONE!"

"Ah, young love," Aayla sighed, smiling.

Anakin stared after the odd sort-of-but-not-really couple blankly. "What's with them?"

Everyone else groaned. "Like Master, like Padawan," Vos muttered under his breath.

As soon as the doors shut behind Obi-Wan and Asajj, the Jedi Master cleared his throat and faced the Council. "Masters, this is Asajj," he introduced. "Asajj, this is the Jedi Council."

Asajj's gaze swept over the suspicious Jedi Masters, one by one, until her eyes landed on a certain green Master.

"Ohhh," sighed Asajj, smiling happily. Before anyone could stop her, she rushed up to Yoda and grabbed him in a tight hug. "Aren't you the CUTEST thing?"

Sufficed to say, Obi-Wan didn't think that the Jedi Council had ever been expecting that.

"Now do you believe me?" he said dryly.

TBC...

OK. This is a torture EVERYONE kind of story. Oh well. :D I'm thinking now that this will probably be longer than ten chapters.

- Serena