Irony

By Serena

Setting: AU Clone Wars

Summary: An accident causes Asajj Ventress to have memory loss. And consequently, she falls madly in love with the first man she sets eyes on. Needless to say, the results are humorous. AU.

A/N: This chapter was extremely difficult to write because my muse decided to take a vaca. Blame her.

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

"Baby, Baby"

Such a happy bunch that strolled through the Jedi Temple that day.

Aayla was glaring at Siri.

Padme was glaring at Siri. And Anakin.

Ahsoka was glaring at Rex.

Rex was glaring at Anakin.

Fabio... was nowhere to be found.

"Ah, Siri," Obi-Wan said, peeling her off himself, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, I was in the neighborhood," she drawled, batting her eyelashes. Asajj, the others noticed in growing concern, was looking less shocked and more angry.

"In the neighborhood?" Obi-Wan echoed, baffled. "But I thought you were in the outer rim."

"Uh… yeah… well…" Siri floundered for a good explanation. "You know… that's… near here."

"Sith hells it is," Asajj suddenly growled.

"Nice," Padme muttered, shooting a smirk to Aayla.

"Here's where the fun begins," Anakin said with a grin. His wife glared at him, and he cleared his throat and looked away, whistling innocently.

Siri suddenly glared at Asajj. "Who are YOU, anyway?" She drew closer to Obi-Wan, clutching at his arm with her clawlike fingers. Obi-Wan winced as her sharp, red fingernails dug into his skin. He'd always tried to get her to get rid of those ridiculous fingernails, but she wouldn't listen. She declared it was her personal fashion statement.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, thought it was just plain stupid. Of course, he was too polite to let her know that.

Asajj's eyes darkened. "A friend."

"More like her worst nightmare," Anakin sang under his breath. The next moment, he went "OOF!" as Padme elbowed him in the gut. He doubled over, coughing violently, and glared up at his wife. "Thanks a -COUGH COUGH - whole kriffing - COUGH COUGH - LOT!" He straightened and rubbed his stomach.

Padme shrugged and folded her arms over her chest. "Not my fault you're a baby."

"I'm not a baby!" Anakin growled.

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOT!"

"ARE NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

Padme grinned. "Glad you finally agreed with me."

"Yeah, I - WAIT A MINUTE!" Anakin roared. "You can't dooo that to me!"

"I just did. Baby."

"Don't call me a baby!"

"Then don't be a baby."

"I'm NOOOT!"

Obi-Wan cleared his throat as the others massaging their aching necks from looking from Anakin to Padme. Obi-Wan, raising an eyebrow, said calmly: "As much as I'd love to listen to this... enchanting conversation, why don't you two go off somewhere else and do it?"

Anakin and Padme exchanged sly glances, and Ashoka suddenly burst out laughing. Anakin shot her a glare and hissed at her to shut up, but she wouldn't.

"What is so funny?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"You -" Ahsoka was gasping for breath now - "Just - told them - to...HEEEHEEHEE!" She covered her stomach, giggling helplessly. By now, Aayla was starting to chuckle. Kit looked a bit horrified, and Rex... well, he was just staring at Ahsoka, looking like he'd grab her any minute if she fell over.

"SHUT IT, Snips!" Anakin hissed. "Don't taint Obi-Wan's innocence!"

Obi-Wan frowned. "I'm a grown man, Anakin. I..." He suddenly reddened and cleared his throat. "I think that this conversation needs to end right here."

Siri beamed up at him. "So, Obi-gobi, I'm staaarving. Let's go get something to eat!"

"PICKLES!" Anakin suddenly shrieked. "PICKLES, CHEESE, PICKLES!" He dashed up behind Siri and Obi-Wan and slung his arms around both of them. "I'm in the mood for some food." He laughed. "What say you fine folk?"

Obi-Wan calmly picked Anakin's hand off his shoulder and stepped away from both Siri and him. "I am going to show Asajj around a bit before we get something to eat."

"Asajj? ASAJJ!" Siri shrieked, suddenly looking hard at Asajj. "Don't tell me that's who I think it is!"

Obi-Wan suddenly realized this was potentially dangerous. If Siri told Asajj more than she needed to know, things could go very bad very quickly. "She's an old friend, Siri," he said suddenly, taking Asajj and gently pulling her along down the corridor. "I'll see you later, Siri. It was lovely to see you, as always."

Asajj beamed at Obi-Wan and took his arm as he led her quickly down the hall. Everyone else followed him and for the most part, ignored Siri, except for Ahsoka, who "accidentally" bumped into her.

"Whups," Ahsoka said innocently, skipping off along with the others.

Siri glared after them. "This is not the end!" she hissed under her breath, and stomped off to find another route to the cafeteria.

As Ahsoka jogged up to the others, she started humming and came alongside Kit and Aayla. Rex was walking behind her as the protective bodyguard of the group - not that he needed to be. But clones would be clones.

"Are you recovered?" Rex suddenly asked Ahsoka.

She halted and, unintentionally, fell back into step with him. "Recovered from what?"

"From your laughing bout."

"My... bout?" She made an odd face. "That's weird. But yeah, I'm fine. I was just... laughing. Wasn't like I was dying or anything."

"It's my job to ensure the safety of all of my men," Rex said, attempting to sound all macho.

"I'm not one of your men. I like... outrank you."

Rex glared down at her. "Don't have to rub it in."

"I'm not! I'm just sayin' is all!" She threw up her hands in defeat. "Geez. You clones are so touchy!" Shaking her head, she sighed and looked away from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rex demanded suddenly. "What do you have against clones?"

"Oh, for the love of DARTH VADER!" Ahsoka groaned loudly, slumping her shoulders. Annoyed with the clone Captain, she shuffled away from him and returned to her place beside Aayla and Kit, both who eyed her in confusion. Anakin, on the other hand, had heard Ahsoka's outcry and slipped back, whistling innocently. Ahsoka shot him a glare and snapped: "What do YOU want?"

Anakin shrugged, still trying to look innocent. "Nuuthin'... just wondering..."

"Wondering WHAT?"

"I was wondering... can I use that name?" he asked, ending in a rush.

Ahsoka frowned. "What name?"

"The one you just used. Darth Father."

"It's Darth Vader."

"Darth Mader?"

"Vader."

"Elevator?"

"VADER. Are you deaf?"

"No. But you're dumb. HA-HA!" Anakin crowed loudly at his own pathetic attempt at a joke.

Ahsoka furiously punched him in the arm, and he recoiled and hissed in pain. "Geez, snips. Vader. You need to chill."

"You need to die," Ahsoka muttered under her breath.

"What?" Anakin demanded.

"You ARE deaf!" Ahsoka yelled in his face.

"No, I'm not. See, look - Darth Tater."

"VADER!"

"Oh. Who's Darth Vader?"

"Dunno. Some guy who did something and killed some people and cut some guy's hand off."

"Cool!" Anakin grinned, gleefully rubbing his hands together. "I'm totally using that name!"

Ahsoka eyed him suspiciously. "What for?"

"Role-play, Snips!" Anakin laughed evilly and jogged back up to Padme.

Ahsoka shook her head, whimpering. "Why do all guys have to be such KRIFFING IDIOTS!?"

TBC...

Poor Ahsoka. What she has to deal with.

Okey dokey, there actually aren't going to be that many more chapters. Siri's not going away, unfortunately, because she's instrumental in the upcoming ending plot. But there will probably be five more chapters, if not fewer. We'll see. :) But then of course, when I started this fic, I said no more than ten chapters, and look how that turned out.

Absolutely MARVELOUS!! :p

Don't mind me.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

- Serena