So, I decided to add a little twist into paradise. If you've got any ideas as to where I should take the story, feel free to voice your opinion. I have many ideas myself, but I'd love to hear new ones. Also, I'm looking for a beta. Here goes chapter three.
Inspirations: Cyclone - Baby Bash; 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins; Kiss Me - New Found Glory; Toccata & Fugue in D Minor - Bach.
Chapter Three: iAm No Pinocchio
I was almost scared when I woke up, afraid that I wasn't really awake and this was all just a dream. But I pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. I was awake and Carly was still asleep in my arms. I knew that she was used to waking up at six, but her alarm clock hadn't even sounded yet. I buried my face into her hair and took a deep breath, then she shifted and groaned a little. She didn't want to move either, I noticed.
"What time is it," She mumbled against me, unwilling to move her head to actually look up at me. I knew she was still tired. I could tell by her voice.
"It's not even five yet. Go back to sleep, Cupcake." I started to move, but the arm she had around me tightened. "Okay, okay. I won't get up." My bladder totally wasn't going to explode or anything. I just needed to tell myself this was real and I wasn't dreaming, I wasn't hallucinating, and I didn't go home to drink myself to the point where I was seeing things, nope. I didn't tell Carly that I drank when I went home, when my mother wasn't drinking herself. But I was a lightweight. I could barely hold my liquor; I was working on enhancing my abilities, if at all possible.
"My alarm is gonna go off at quarter after six." She explained sleepily. "Spencer is already gone. He has an art show in Portland, Oregon. He'll be back tomorrow night." She kept talking after that, but I kind of tuned her out. I just nodded slowly. I think she asked me to spend the night again, but I'm not really sure. I wasn't really paying attention to her. My mind was elsewhere at the moment. She kissed me. We made out last night. It wasn't very long, but we did. We kissed so many times, and every time, I felt her smile into the gestures. My mind was almost in panic mode at this point. I was confused. Then I felt her teeth graze along my neck. She was trying to get my attention.
"Nng, go back to sleep and stop doing that to my neck." I complained softly, nudging her head with my own.
"Then answer my question; do you want to stay over again tonight since Spencer isn't here? I don't like staying alone and you're a good cuddle buddy." She sounded like if I said no, she would bop me on the head until I said yes to staying. So I nodded.
"But I'm bringing my own clothes over. I'm not letting you dress me in your pleasure clothes again." I teased her. That got her attention. She looked up at me, rubbing her tired eyes, with a small smirk pulled across her face.
"I told you, your butt looks cute in those shorts."
"Because they're a size too small. You have smaller hips than I do, Shay."
"Oh, right. I forgot. You have a huge ass," She mumbled to me.
"I do not." I protested, but she had pressed her lips against mine. "Mmn, stop doing that." I heard a throaty giggle leave her lips and she nodded, taking her lips off mine and curling back against me. "Go back to sleep. We'll get up at your alarm."
When the alarm sounded again, I felt her move out of my arms and she pulled me to my feet, throwing clothes at me and pulling the shirt over my head, tugging at the shorts around my bottom half, urging them off. I tiredly changed and she did the same. We took the elevator downstairs and I slumped onto the couch, trying not to sleep again, while she made something for breakfast.
She made something of an egg sandwich for herself and cooked half the pack of bacon for me, wrapping it up in a neat little container so I could eat it on the way to school. She knows me so well. We walked to the bus station and took a bus to school, since she normally had Spencer drive her and it was closer to walk to the bus station than to the school bus stop. Plus, we didn't like dealing with the middle school kids that rode the bus as well. And the Benson's had already left the building, so there was no point in catching a ride with Fredward's mother when she returned to the building.
"How's the bacon?" She asked me, opening her locker. I had a piece hanging out of my mouth when I turned to her, giving a crooked smile.
"Burnt, but still tasty. Thanks." I replied. I was incredibly grateful for Carly. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I would have lived this long, honestly. Having an alcoholic mother and no father figure was tough on me. She didn't have a steady boyfriend right now, so it was more like... random guys coming around every so often. I think Mom is becoming a whore. And not even a high class one; she takes any scum off the street who will pay enough to cover the rent and her alcohol binges. There was never any food in the house either. I hate it. I hate being there when she has company over, too.
"Ee. I'm sorry I burnt it. I'm not that great at making bacon."
"I appreciate the effort." I admitted to her, trying to keep my voice down. It wasn't like me to openly admit kindness like that, let alone in public, at school, ugh. That's when I heard Freddie enter:
"Sam appreciates something? Is the world going to come to a screeching halt now?" I simply rolled my eyes at him and Carly laughed.
"It's bacon, of course she appreciates it." But I punched him anyway, despite the look Carly gave me from behind him. Then he turned to look at her, giving on of his stupid I'm-completely-obsessed-with-you looks and I shrugged, mouthing a "he deserved it" because he did. He was such a creep sometimes. I mean, since we started iCarly, he's kind of grown on me, but.... I was shuddering at the thought now. I was starting to realize why I had always been so terrible to him. He had a thing for Carly, a strong thing, too. And I guess I just didn't want him near her. I wanted her all to myself. Ha. And now, I do have her all to myself.
"You prove a good point. Sam does like her bacon..." He nodded.
"Well said, dork wad." I announced, slamming my locker once I had finished the bacon and grabbed a book or two to shove into my bag. The good thing about coordinating my schedule with Carly was that I'd get to see her during the day. The only period I didn't see her was when I had Algebra I and she had Honors Algebra II. I even had my science changed. I don't know how they let me into Honors Chemistry, but with Carly's help, we were both getting through it. She was better at science than I ever would be, and it helped that we were also lab partners. Screw alphabetical order: I was not working with Lewis Pine for a whole school year.
I was somewhat shocked how Freddie couldn't pick up on the fact that Carly and I kind of had something going on between us. Then again, he was a dork wad, so he didn't pick up on things like that. Still, he was forever pining for my Carly. I found it mildly amusing, however jealous I would get and express it in ill remarks towards him. I had fun doing it, though. I don't see how it was so harmless, except that his feelings were hurt. Boo for him, then. Not for me. Hell, sometimes Carly got a good chuckle out of it.
"Let's get to English." The one class the three of us had together. Freddie led the way and I pulled Carly back a little, so she was walking beside me. I tried to let my hand slip into hers, and that's when I was a little thrown off guard. She ignored the gesture, blew me off in that sense. I rolled my eyes to her and threaded my fingers through messy blond curls. I'm surprised they weren't very knotty, since I didn't quite get the chance to brush my hair this morning. I didn't really have the balls to ask Carly to borrow her brush, so I kind of left them go on their own. I'd end up pulling them up later for Gym or something. Before lunch, my hair would end up in one of those messy buns or a pony tail, something away from my face and pulled together neatly.
When we got to the English room and slumped into our usual seats, I let my head fall onto my books. I felt a hand jiggle my shoulder: it was Carly's hand. I looked up, seeing a light smile pulled across her face.
"Wake up, sleepy head." She whispered over to me, trying to get me to listen to the morning announcements. But I didn't care.
"You're quite bipolar today." I confessed to her, almost in a teasing manner, but hell, I was completely serious. She was totally confusing me with her emotions. Ugh. That was one thing I did miss about liking guys: at least they wouldn't fuck with your head like girls do, or they just bottle everything up, kind of like I do. I bottle my emotions up. I haven't yet come to a breaking point. I'm glad about that, but it's bound to happen sooner or later, right? Sure. I guess. I'm not really looking forward to it. I hope I'm drunk when it happens, that way I don't remember most of whatever happens.
She gave me a look to what I had said to her and she moved back to her desk, contemplating my words. Ha. That was a first. I had Carly Shay contemplating what I said to her. I don't think she's ever had that happen to her before. Well, good for me. Score one for Sam.
I wasn't sure what it was that prosed her to do so, but Carly was asking me for a pen or pencil to write something down. I blinked sleepily to her and handed over a ball point pen that I found in my backpack. Huh. I wonder if I had another one, too. She wrote something down on a piece of paper, folded it up, and set it on my desk, the pen resting neatly on top of it. My brow raised. Oh, a note for me? That works. I still wonder what prompted her to do something like that, making me read and comprehend and respond this early in the morning.
Reluctantly, I moved the pen and opened the folded piece of paper. Sure enough, I was right: it was a note for me. I read it slowly, my eyes still adjusting to the idea of being awake and at school and not having to go home after school and deal with my drunken mother. Or maybe today, she was sober and just getting paid to be a hole in the mattress. I didn't know. I didn't even want to know today. Not at all.
The corners of my lips curved in a small smile and I looked over at Carly. She was just concerned about me, worried that something was wrong. I shook my head at her, trying to keep my smile on so she could see nothing was wrong. Everything was just peachy, fine and dandy. I just don't like school. So I took my pen and scribbled those words down: "I'm fine, I just hate school" and I handed the paper back to her, pen and all. She looked over my message and nodded slightly, putting up a false smile. I knew she wasn't happy that I wasn't telling her the whole truth, but I couldn't do that in school, especially not in English like this. Maybe tonight, if I could find my courage, I would tell her what was up. But not right now. I wasn't up for it.
At least Carls and I were on good terms for most of the day. It wasn't until lunch, my favorite class of the day, that I was starting to feel betrayed. I couldn't get her attention when I asked if she wanted my pudding cup, before Freddie sat down with us. Again, I took the last one and she didn't get a pudding. I thought I would be nice, you know. But she wasn't listening to me, not one word I was saying was passing into her mind and being comprehended.
"Carly, I've decided I'm going to kill myself instead of sleeping over your house tonight." I told her. No response. She really was in her own little world right now. Sighing, I rolled my eyes to her. "Oh, and I'm in love with Freddie."
"Ew, please tell me you're lying." He groaned in agony as he sat down on Carly's other side, obstructing the view of whatever she was looking at so intently. She moved him out of the way and that's when I saw her face. Her tongue was practically hanging out of her mouth; she was staring at some guy, and a gorgeous one at that. He must be new here or something. I threaded my fingers through my hair and set the chocolate pudding cup on Carly's tray.
"Yes, I'm lying. If I loved you, then I think I would kill myself." I explained to him and he simply nodded. I guess the feeling was mutual. But I didn't quite care what Freddie thought about me. As long as he didn't try to kill me, then I was fine Right now, I was concerned with the kid who had Carly's attention. "Earth to Carly," I poked her side gently, and her head whipped around, a goofy smile plastered on her face. I recognized that face from last night; she made that smile just before we fell asleep with our arms wrapped around each other. It was a very relaxing way to fall asleep and an even better way to wake up. But why was she making that face to someone else? Jealousy was starting to kick in; I don't like this feeling at all.
"What were you talking about?" Carly asked, blinking and plastering a weak smile onto her face. But I knew that her eyes lit up when she saw the pudding cup I had set on her tray. She mouthed a 'thank you' in my direction; I simply nodded to her.
"Me being in love with Freddie. I just admitted my undying affections to him and you're oogling some guy..." I confessed to her, shrugging, and taking a bite of my cheeseburger. I watched her smile turn into a frown and she rolled her eyes to me, turning her attention to Freddie.
"Really, what's up?" She asked, kind of dismissing me. But I noticed that her free hand had moved under the table. She let her fingertips move along my leg and I was just... ugh, thrown off. Reluctantly, I moved her hand away from my leg, but she wasn't going to take no for an answer that easily. She moved her hand underneath of mine and tried to lace our fingers. I couldn't help but hold her hand. It was so relaxing. I was finding it so hard to want to let go of her hand, so I didn't. I would just have to wait until I needed my hand again. Luckily, the school burgers were small enough for me to hold with one hand.
"I was wondering why you weren't answering me," I mumbled to her softly, and Freddie just shrugged, diving into the packed lunch he had with him. It's almost as if it wasn't worth being here if you didn't buy the crappy school lunches. But his mommy was so over protective of him that she deprived him of that chance. Sometimes I actually felt bad for him.
"Haven't you seen the new kid?" Carly asked me, squeezing my hand and nudging my side gently. I shook my head to her. I tried to take my hand out of hers again but she wouldn't let me. Damnit, Carls: the one time you're stubborn about something, I actually want to let go.
"No, I haven't. I'm content with who's in my head now, thanks." I replied with a mouthful of burger. Of course, I'm sure Carly didn't think I had her on my mind. I did. I always did. Sure, she was my best friend, but I was always worrying about her and her well being and whether she was safe or not. It was a little sad how much I cared, I think.
"Oh. Well, Ryan Teeter, the new kid... he's a sophomore too." I listened to her drone on about this guy, about how he was a swimmer and a baseball player, and how she had Honors Algebra II with him. So obviously, I'd have to worry more during my math class. Great, thank you, Carly for giving me that new way to act. I don't like having to worry about her. Okay, well, I don't have to worry, but I can't help it. I don't like that I can't help it either. It sucks, a lot. I tried my best to tune her out, though. It was hard, especially when she kept interjecting enthusiasm to her words to try and make me listen. But I had to stop her. She was almost driving me crazy.
"I don't really care about Ryan Tit-monkey," I muttered through a mouthful of burger.
"Teeter, Ryan Teeter..." She corrected me and I managed to pull my hand from hers. Thankfully I was able to get away with two burgers and a thing of fries. But I just didn't feel up to eating. I finished the burger I was holding and made sure the other was wrapped well in its plastic baggy home. Obviously, my letting go of her hand and not eating my second burger alarmed Carly. I'm sure it would alarm me if I were Carly, too. "You're not eating your second burger? I thought you were starving..."
"Yeah, what's up with you, Sam? You've only insulted me twice today..." Freddie quipped. He wore a cocky smile. "Maybe you are in love with me,"
"Don't get your hopes up, Fredward." I snapped back at him, gulping down about half of my chocolate milk. I "accidentally" knocked his open water bottle into his lap, earning a groan from him, and a chuckle passed my lips.
"Sam!" He cried in anger, his face turning red with fury. He stood up immediately and started to shake off the new wetness to his groin.
I felt the back of Carly's hand swat at my shoulder in subtle disgust. She started to scold me for spilling Freddie's water on him and I mumbled something along the lines of an apology in his direction, but it was soft and almost unheard. My lips had barely even moved when I spoke the words. That's when I felt a poke at my side.
"Apologize, Sam," She whispered to me. I groaned back at her and shook my head firmly. There were times that I could listen to what Carly said, soak it up, and do whatever she asked of me. But today, I was not in one of those moods. I was being stubborn with her, especially after having to listen to her drone on about some guy... especially after last night.
"Why should I? He deserved it, especially after having the gall to... never mind. Sorry, Fredward." I didn't really want to get into a conversation with her over lunch, even if the dork had stormed off and left the remnants of his brown bagged lunch. I felt bad that I did that to him, and I didn't really want to apologize about it. So I collected his garbage and set it on my tray, carrying it to the collection of garbage cans and dumping my tray off at the appropriate area of the cafeteria. Then I slipped out of the noisy cafeteria. I leaned against the wall near the doors and closed my eyes, threading my fingers through my hair as I inhaled sharply. I had to do something about these feelings I was experiencing. I had to tell Carly, or something. I couldn't keep being jealous. I couldn't do it. There had to be a solution. Opening my eyes, I bit my lip. The bell rang and the halls started to flood again. I made a beeline for my locker and gathered my books for science, shoving them into my bag, as well as another notebook or two. I hurried to class where I let myself start to worry about Carly. She wasn't here when the bell rang; she was late. It didn't matter because we had a substitute. But she was late. I was on time. Normally, I was late and she was early, or something where she was here before the bell and I was not. What the hell.
I had opened my science notebook and started doodling when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Carly. The corners of her lips were upturned into one of her goofy smiles again. I just rolled my eyes to her.
"You're late." I muttered, continuing to doodle.
"And you were here before me, on time. Wow," Carly replied quietly. "Are you sure you're feeling okay, Sam?" She asked, holding the back of her hand to my forehead. I pushed her hand away.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied gently. "Are we doing anything, since we have a sub?" I didn't feel up to lifting my head and gazing across the room at the whiteboard.
"No, just study hall." She offered back. I felt my head nod weakly while I was caught in my doodling phase. I didn't even realize what it was that I was drawing. I was drawing a heart and started to even write a name in it when she hit my arm lightly, to nab my attention. "Why are you so... down?" Her voice was perking on the edge of curiosity, so I turned my head to her, seeing the heart out of the corner of my eye.
"Do you seriously want me to answer that question with other people around?" I practically snapped her head off with my vicious tone. "Do you want your secret rendevous to become public knowledge, or am I just an experiment to you and your misery?" Wow, I have never been this terrible to her. I don't even know where that jumble of emotional words came from. But I could see it on her face; her brown eyes started to gloss over, fill with tears waiting to cascade down her pale cheeks and I lifted my head. My voice caught in my throat when I tried to talk. She came to me in a time of weakness, when she needed a friend, when she needed me the most, and here I was, taking advantage of her vulnerabilities for my own lack of confidence in admitting how I truly felt about her. Damn, I'm a horrible friend to Carly. Why the hell does she even keep me around?
"Sam, I didn't even..." She bowed her head slightly, rubbing the back of her neck to try and hide her furiously blushing cheeks. She's so cute when she blushes. No. Stop it, Sam. You're supposed to be angry with Carly right now, not telling yourself how beautiful she is whenever she does anything that shouldn't ignite any kind of happiness in you. Oh yeah, jumble of words again. Woo. "It's not like that," We were interrupted when one of our classmates set a piece of paper and a pencil on the table next to me. He gave Carly the flirtatious head nod and I glared daggers at him. He moved away swiftly. "That wasn't nice." She whispered to me as I scribbled down our names and passed the paper and pencil behind us.
"Now is not the time and this is sure as hell not the... what are you doing?" She had grabbed my hand and was pulling me off of my lab stool, towards the front of the room. Her fingers were curled around my wrist loosely. I didn't know what tricks she had up her sleeve. That's when she confronted our substitute teacher, whose name I didn't even catch. Obviously she did, as she addressed him directly:
"She's sick. I'm her best friend. May I escort her to the bathroom before she hurls on me and you both?" Carly spoke with such grace, such eloquence... I kind of wanted to get sick just to make her lie be the truth and then she wouldn't feel sick to her stomach for lying. The teacher nodded slow and wrote us out a pass. She snatched it from his hand and pushed us out the door. Down the hall, she pulled me into the janitor's closet, locked the door, and pulled the light on.
I couldn't really find my voice to say anything to her. I was too overcome with emotion, a flood of them, to focus on one single thought. Carly Shay had just lied to a teacher to get out of class. She pulled me by the wrist in front of everyone. She was angry. She was fuming. Gosh, she's so gorgeous in this light.
"So, tell me then. What's your deal?" She asked, her voice sounding persistent. I folded my arms over my chest and smirked to her.
"Nah, I'm good. I think I like this." I confessed. "You lied to get out of class to talk to me about ... whatever this is we have. And you're not sick to your stomach,"
"I am. I'm just good at concealing it."
"Bullshit." She rolled her eyes to my cursing and I smirked back at her. "Admit it, you were okay with lying to that substitute because you're just as bent out of shape about this as I am."
"Not to the same degree, but yes, I want to know what's messing you all up and making you... not Sam-like." She told me, nodding slow and trying to unfold my arms. I let her. I always let her have her way, well.. almost always.
"I'm still Sam. Just a different side of Sam." I reassured. "I really want some bacon." I mumbled into the somewhat awkward ring of silence that we fell into together. But then I felt her fingers fall into the spaces between mine again. My chest tightened.
She squeezed my hand when the heel of her palm touched mine and I felt the corners of my lips curve into a subtle smile. But I still had so many thoughts swimming around in my mind, words that I needed to say to her. Now or never, I guess. I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the door.
"I don't like hearing you rant about cute guys." I whispered. I was being serious and I was using my serious voice, so she was completely attentive. I saw her nod some when I opened my eyes, so I kept on talking. "And I like holding you hand like this," I lifted up our hands and she giggled, kissing my knuckles weakly. The way her lips made my skin tingle was mind-boggling. I swallowed hard to regain composure to speak again. But I lost it. I couldn't admit anymore than that, not while she was pulling my other arm around her waist. Yeah, I was shorter than her, but she slumped down a little and rested her head on my shoulder. I stood tall against the door, a triumphant smile pulled across my face. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against hers weakly. Just as she turned her head to flash me one of those magnificent smiles of hers, and our lips started inching closer and closer, the door knob jiggled against my hip.
"Janitor," She whispered to me, her lips moving against mine, her voice slightly raspy. She pulled me away from the door, keeping me close. Surprisingly, these closets were roomy. We turned the light off and crept backwards, until I had her pinned shyly into the corner, and she turned us around, only because she was wearing darker colors than I was.
The door opened, the janitor whistling to himself, and he grabbed the mop and bucket, then closed the door. That left us in the corner, well... my back against the corner, in the dark. Great. My greatest dream and my worst nightmare all rolled into one moment. I was in control and yet, I wasn't at all.
"I think you had intentions before we were interrupted?" She shook her head to my quiet questioning and moved away from me. She pressed her ear to the door, breathing heavily in the silence as she listened. Then she opened the door and pulled me into the hallway. I folded my arms over my chest and we walked back to class. The teacher asked if I felt any better and I nodded slowly. But I didn't. I felt worse than before. I actually felt sick to my stomach. Karma.