For some reason, I really want to get sick and stay home from school for a day so I can crank out like.. six more chapters. Haha. But that's not gonna happen.
Inspirations: Island - The Starting Line; If It Means A Lot To You - A Day to Remember; Holly Would You Turn Me On - All Time Low; Kiss Me - New Found Glory; Nothing Compares To You - Stereophonics.
Chapter Six: iNever Knew...
She said "for now" and that has to stand for something. Doesn't it? Well, even if it doesn't, I'm considering it to be something. I'm starting to lose a grip on reality here and I need something tangible. I need something to grasp, to touch, to feel, to taste, to smell. I need to use my senses and have them identify with something, with someone. I need to know these feelings that I am feeling are for real. I can't be trapped in some horrifically realistic dream. I can't be stuck in a nightmare where every single one of my synapses are on fire and I feel as though I'm going to explode from every pore if I can't just... if I can't be with her like I should be. Like, I am losing my concepts of time because of all of this happening. I think I'm investing too much of my heart into being with Carly, when I should really be focusing on other things. Such as my mother being in a drunken stupor when I walk through the door of our apartment. But of course, it takes the sound of shattering glass against linoleum to grab my attention to the present.
I figured I would go home and check on my mom on this... this glorious Friday afternoon, when I could be at the Groovy Smoothie with Carls, but no. I'm here. I had to tell Carls that my mom needed me for something... probably a booze run, ugh. Threading my fingers through my hair gently, I started to pick up the broken glass pieces from the kitchen floor, watching my mother carry herself down the hallway and land on her bed, I think. I hope she did. I really don't want to spend a night in the hospital because she fell off her bed and was knocked unconscious or something like that.
The worst possible thing happened when I was trying to clean up the kitchen, gathering the garbage in a large black bag from the living room. I didn't even care about recycling empty bottles or cans. The environment could shove it. My cell phone was going off in my pocket. I held the bag in one hand and reached for my phone with the other, seeing that it was a call from Carly. Sighing, I picked up the call.
"Hey," I tried to get my voice to sound somewhat delighted. I was happy to hear her voice, though, but not right now.
"Hey best friend. How's your mom?" Her voice was so cheery. I know it was bad to think it, but what would she sound like if... NO. I mentally scolded myself - scold scold scold - and focused on our conversation.
"Uh, she's... she's taking a nap. Left me with a ton of chores to do, though," It was.. kind of the truth? Mom did go to bed - I didn't know if she was sleeping or not - and I was stuck cleaning up the place. Our apartment was significantly smaller than Carly's, so there wasn't as much surface area to worry about. But if the living room and kitchen were this bad... I was shuddering at the thought of the bathroom. My room, I knew, was relatively clean. I had managed to get the room with the lock on the door and stowed the key close to me, with my house keys.
"Well, maybe I should come over and help you?" She sounded far too eager to want to come here. I never let her come over. I always lied and said Mom didn't want people over or I forgot my house key so I'd get in trouble. I just didn't want to subject Carly to this disaster. Her world is such a fairy tale and this is... such the opposite. I don't know whether I'm trying to protect Carly from my mom or whether I'm ashamed that I live in this hell hole.
"Carls, that's probably not a good idea... my mom was really pissed that I haven't been around the past few nights." I had been at Carly's for awhile. My mom couldn't have cared. She was too drunk to care. The cordless phone allowed me to walk down the hallway and I left the garbage bag on the floor in the living room. I peered into Mom's room; sure enough, she was passed out on her stomach, already snoring up a storm and drooling into her pillow.
"I'm already outside of your building, though." Did she walk here? I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded slow.
"I'll be down in five minutes. Can you wait in the lobby?" She gave me an affirmative answer and I hung up the phone. I managed to clear the empty bottles, food wrappers, and cans and get them into the garbage. I tied the bags up, the two that I filled, and set the third into the graying garbage can in the kitchen. It took me longer than five minutes, though. Ugh.
I ran down the stairs, the four flights, without falling. That's when I lost my breath, when my eyes settled on Carly. Even in this hell hole of a place, she still looked so amazing. Sometimes I wonder why we're still friends. I've lied so much to her about my life. And she's always such an open book to me. My fingers threaded through my hair carefully and she walked towards me. She wasn't wearing what she had been wearing at school all day. To school, she had worn a graphic tee and jean shorts. But she was not wearing that anymore. She had changed into a dark skirt that stopped just above her knees and it had those pleats in it, too. And an off-white button down blouse; I could see her white tank top underneath of it, too, as well as the straps of her light pink bra.
"You changed," I observed flatly, gesturing towards the staircase in the far corner that I had emerged from. Compared to my cargo shorts and long sleeved red and yellow shirt, she looked gorgeous and I looked like hell spat me out.
"I wanted to wear something more comfortable," She replied, slipping one of her hands into mine as we walked up the stairs. I would have offered to take the elevator, but it hadn't been working for the past couple of months. She hadn't even asked.
For the ten long minutes that it took us to climb the stairs, we stayed silent, walking hand in hand. I just wonder why she didn't say anything. It looked as if she was drinking all of this in, taking in the place that I am forced to call "home," when I'm certain she knows now why I spend so much time at her apartment. Best friends don't lie about the important things, especially major things like your mother being an alcoholic or living in a shit hole of an apartment. As I started to unlock the door, I felt her squeeze my hand a little. The guy who lived across the hall from me was leering at her and I knew because she moved closer to my side.
"Knock it off, Mr. Harold. She's not eighteen yet and I will call the cops this time." I threatened and he held up his hands defensively. Mr. Harold is the creepy old guy who lives with his pet snake, Frank. Frank is cool. But Mr. Harold is not so cool.
"He would really...?" I heard the hesitation and fear in Carly's voice and I nodded slowly.
"Yeah. My mom tried to barter my virginity off to him for booze." I couldn't even look at Carly when I said that. It hurt far too much. She knew I was not virgin, and not by means of Mr. Harold. I had fought tooth and nail to get away from him on several occasions, actually. But sometimes, I just couldn't handle dealing with it. That would be the times I showed up at Carly's in the middle of the night or when I slept out on the fire escape outside of my bedroom window.
When we moved into the apartment and I locked the door, chain lock included, she didn't let go of my hand. I didn't really want her to, but she didn't anyway. I think she felt as if she had to hold my hand or else she would get lost in this new place. I drew in a deep breath and pulled her towards the tattered couch in the living room, encouraging her to sit down.
"I really didn't want you to... see this, all of it." I rubbed the back of my neck, letting go of her hand. I looked over to her and she was smiling. She smiled so wonderfully. She threaded her fingers through my hair, pulling it out of my face in the process.
"Sam, it's okay. I'm a big girl, I can handle it." She confessed to me brightly, taking her hand out of my hair and folding her hands in her lap. I could tell she was nervous. "So what chores do you have to do?"
"Clean the bathroom and do the dishes." I informed her.
"Let's go for the dishes first. They seem a lot safer." She replied, getting up and pulling me into the kitchen.
It felt like days before we finished the dishes. There was no dishwasher. Everything had to be cleaned by hand. I let Carly wear the big yellow rubber gloves I found, since there was only one pair. We played with the bubbles and cautiously exchanged a few kisses in between washing the silverware and dishes. That was the first time I actually enjoyed washing dishes.
Then, when we got to the bathroom, she almost vomited. I didn't blame her. I wanted to, but I was so used to the smells my house gave off at its prime dirty state, it didn't irritate me as much as it did her. I cleaned the toilet and the sink, and she took down the molding shower curtain liner, getting into the tub to change it. That gave me an idea.
"How much do you like that outfit?" I asked her, popping my head into the shower, wearing a devilish grin. She caught onto that and blinked to me.
"A lot. But everything is machine washable... why?" Her brow raised and I let my grin flourish into a smirk. "Sam..."
"I don't have anything in mind, don't worry." I confessed. I had finished cleaning the toilet and I was almost done with the sink. Once I finished that, when Carly had just finished putting up the new shower liner, I turned on the shower's water. She squealed when the rush of cool water hit her skin, and her clothes, making them stick to her. Luckily she wasn't wearing her sneakers. I chuckled to her and climbed into the shower, getting wet in my clothes, too. It was only fair, right? Right.
"I thought you said you didn't have anything in mind!" Her voice sounded upset, but the smile that pulled across her face was so contradicting her angry voice.
"I didn't at the time." I told her. It was the truth, though. I knew I wanted to do something but I didn't know just what I should do yet. But then the water started to heat up. I quickly slipped behind her, changing the water to cold. It was easier that way, especially for me. Carly Shay, the things you do to me without even trying...
Before I could really react much, she had me pinned against the shower wall, my hands over my head. Deja vu is such a good feeling. She leaned her forehead on mine, the cold water making our clothes stick to our lithe frames. She'd always be leaner than me, though. I blame her height for that.
"Sam," She whispered to me, holding my wrists against the shower wall with one hand and dragging her other down one of my arms. Her fingertips moved down my body, touching my face, my neck, my chest, and stilling over my stomach, carefully separating my shirt from my skin. Her touch was fire on ice.
"Yeah?" I answered, almost breathless. She was barely even touching me and I probably already creamed my fucking pants. I wonder why we didn't try this earlier on.
"I need a distraction," She didn't give me the chance to even try and catch my breath before our lips crashed together. I was hopeless against her. There was no way I could win this battle, none at all. And how was one supposed to win a battle that she didn't want to win anyway? If this was what a battle would Carly would amount, I say let's bring on a full-blown war!
After what felt like ages and was only about a few minutes of the most intense kissing of my entire life, I felt her lips break away from mine and start to trail along my jaw, down my neck. She wasn't supposed to know my weakness was my neck, even if she is my best friend. The lips at my neck felt incredible. I don't think I've ever felt this great because I was in a cold shower with my clothes on. Well, I've never taken a cold shower with my clothes on to begin with.
She pulled my shirt off over my head, smirking when she saw the black bra I was wearing. I raised my brow to her curiously.
"Black?" She asked, smirking.
"I like this bra. I got it at Build-A-Bra when we went over the summer." I felt my breath hitch as she ran her fingertips along my bra cup, paying extra attention to the fact that she could feel my hardened nipples through the material. "C-Carls," She shook her head to me and caught my lips again.
"I remember." She breathed just as unevenly as I did and her fingers slipped underneath the formed cup; she was teasing me. With the same hand, she moved it around my back, unclasping the bra. I don't know why but I felt so nervous all of a sudden. I had scars along my skin. I had bruises. I was far from the perfection that she deserved.
While she had taken my bra from my body and dropped it to the floor of the tub, I started to unbutton her shirt, smirking when I noticed her bra had its clasp in the front. Had she been planning something from the start? Ha, I think so.
"What's this all about?" I asked her playfully, my fingertips gliding over the clasps and she giggled cheekily. "Not so innocent anymore, are you?"
"I'm just happy I started doing my own laundry. Spencer would have a heart attack." She replied quietly.
"I'll bet," I whispered back. Once I had her bra off, my hands moved along her flat stomach, taking in every inch of her skin. I was so love drunk at this point, it wasn't even funny. Did I even mention how fucking beautiful her body is? It's toned in all the right places. No scars, no bruises, no cuts. Nothing. Blemish free, one hundred and ten thousand percent. Just as my hand was poised over the elastic waistband of her skirt, the doorknob of the bathroom opened. I heard my mother mumbling to herself. She went to the bathroom. And when she flushed the toilet, the cold water only got colder.
I tugged at Carly's bottom lip, coaxing her into another heated kiss when the icy water collided with our faces, our bare torsos. It was stinging and painful, but we couldn't make a noise showing that we were there. Not while my mother was in such a drunker stupor. I wouldn't subject Carly to facing that, naked, wet or otherwise.
Once the door closed, she pulled back from the kiss. "What the hell, Sam?" She asked, but her voice was quiet.
"My mom is drunk." I told her. "If we made any noise, then she would have lashed out. No one should have to see that, especially not you.." Her features softened and she encouraged my hands pushing her skirt down her legs. The one thing I had only just noticed? Carly Shay, wearing no panties, no underwear, no nothing beneath her skirt. Oh hell, she planned this from the start. That's why she came over. I was her booty call!
"You realize that we're essentially showering together?" I told her, taking the chance to switch our positions. I had her up against the shower wall now and she couldn't even wipe the grin off of her face. I still had my jeans on, but she didn't seem like she was in a rush to get them off.
"But we're not going to wash up. We're already doing the opposite..." She countered. She already knew what I was doing. My lips were leaving trails along her neck, her shoulders, and I was heading for her chest. She leaned her head back against the tiles and closed her eyes while I let my tongue circle around her nipples playfully. The soft moans that left her lips mingled with the sounds of the water splashing upon the tiles and the porcelain beneath our feet. But only I could savor how sweet they were. I knew they were sweet.
Her moans were encouraging. I kept moving my lips down her body, loving the fact that her skin was so smooth and her body so magnificent. My teeth grazed along her skin playfully and she moaned again. Her fingers ran through my hair as I started back up to her mouth. I needed to taste her kisses again. My hands were placed firmly, but loosely, on her hips, holding her where I wanted her to be.
"Mmm, Sam... where did you learn to do all of this?" She was pleased with what I had done for her so far. I hope I'm more than a distraction to her. I laughed gently into the side of her neck, letting my teeth graze her skin. My hands were already roaming from her hips. One hand went to her chest, paying attention to one of her hard as hell nipples. The other hand carefully dipped towards her center, which was wetter than the rest of her body, I soon realized.
"Trust me," I whispered against her neck. "You would not want to know," My teeth grazed along her skin again and my fingers were gliding over her thighs, her inner thighs. I heard her moan a little more. Her moans were a bit more urgent and a little louder, too. My eyes closed and I reveled in her closeness, in the noises escaping her throat and filling my ears.
I knew this paradise was not going to last forever, but for what I had right now, I was far from content. My fingers found their way to her center and she gasped a little at the new touches. They were completely foreign to her and I loved that. To give me a little more... access, I think, I felt one of her legs lift and wrap around my waist, ultimately pulling me closer. The whole set up we had was enough to make my head spin, but I had to keep my cool for her. This was Carly's first time, in my grimy shower... What was I doing?
"Carly," My lips were whispering against hers, but she was in some kind of blissful state that she didn't even want to answer me. She just made a small noise of approval. "Do you really want to do this in the shower?" I think she gave me an affirmative answer. She tugged at my lip slightly with her teeth, moaning again, and moving her leg so my fingers ran along her moist center. It felt so... much better than it had with anyone else. But I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. There was nothing that could get me away from her at this point. So fuck it. We'll stay in the shower and guess what? It'll be the best shower sex that has ever hit this shit hole apartment.
I teased her center, making small circles with my fingertips. She kept moaning against my lips, vibrating them, exciting me further. I could feel her arms wrapping around my back, her nails lightly digging into my skin and descending downward. Normally I wasn't a big fan of that, but with Carly, everything was different. I liked different things and I disliked things that I normally did like. I played with her like she was the first toy I ever owned; I was careful, I was delicate, and I was sure I was not going to break her to little bitty pieces.
Testing the waters, my middle finger slid into her entrance. The louder moan that she gave off almost sounded like one of pain, so I pulled out. She leaned her forehead on mine and chuckled.
"That feels so much better than doing it myself," She mused quietly to me, grinning from ear to ear. I could have pissed myself laughing if I wasn't so worked up at this point.
"You masturbate?" I asked her, curious, brushing our noses together playfully as I spoke. She just tugged at my lip and nodded into a kiss. That's something I never expected... Carly Shay, masturbating. Huh. I bet she does it in the shower, too.
"Who doesn't," She replied. "It's a natural urge for the human body..."
"I know you're book smart. But let me handle the sex smarts, please," I was almost pleading with her to shut up. She leaned into the tiles behind her more, the cold water cooling down our sweating bodies. Well, we would be sweating if we weren't in the shower.
This time when my middle finger slid in, I definitely teased her. I moved in as far as I could and pulled out completely. Then I repeated the process, using two fingers, thrusting inward at various speeds and pulling out at different ones. I was teasing her and she loved it. But enough was enough. I didn't want to get caught by my drunken mother. That would suck a lot.
I found a rhythm we could both work with. The way that we were standing was a little awkward, but luckily, we were able to get a little friction between our hips; thank you, grinding. Yeah, I still had my jeans on, but I was getting off on her. She didn't even need to touch me for me to hit my desired climax. We could get to that some other time, if she really wanted.
Her fingers were threading through my hair again and my lips were latching onto her neck, sucking at her pulse point. I was determined to give her a mark. The one she had given me was fading, but this was payback, in all honesty. Her moans were becoming louder. I didn't want my mother to hear us. As I could feel her walls tightening around my fingers inside of her, I kept moving to the best of my abilities, trying to get her over the edge.
I pulled away from her neck, letting our lips crash together in an open mouthed kiss. Her lips were parted against mine. One of the throaty moans that left her mouth and mingled with my breath was littered with my name, and it was mind-blowing. Hell, it was orgasm inducing
My fingers kept moving inside of her as she came down from her high, a goofy smile plastered against her face. Several minutes later, I pulled my hand away from her center, the water from the shower head washing my fingers clean before I could even taste them. Damn. I had been so looking forward to that.
I wiped dark wet hair that was stuck to her face and carefully, she unwrapped her leg from around my body. I placed a few chaste kisses along her cheek and her jaw, a small smile pulled across my face. I was the proud owner of Carly Shay's virginity, and I sure as hell wish I could boast about that at school. But I knew better. Even though she looked so cute when she blushed, I would never, ever subject her to the teasing and torment of others. I would beat up anybody who dared mock my Carly. She knew that.
"Maybe we should get dried off and take a nap in my room." I suggested, whispering my words in her ear gently. She nodded slowly, her nails still carefully dragging down my back. Of all the scars and cuts and bruises I had on my skin, those were going to always be my favorites. I knew where they came from; I knew who caused them and why; I knew the stories they had and the emotions that were tied to them. And I love her enough not to care what blemishes she left on my skin.
I turned the water off and pulled my jeans and briefs off of my body. I wrapped her up in a clean towel, pulling her close to keep her warm, then I wrapped myself up in a clean towel as well. She was still a little shaky in the legs from standing up and leaning solely on me and the wall during that first time of hers. We snuck down the hallway to my bedroom and I locked the door behind us, after grabbing out sopping wet clothes from the bathroom. I put them into a plastic hamper basket.
"Want to come with me to the laundry room?" I asked her. I gave her a tank top and some shorts to wear while she was here, until our clothes were dry.
"Of course. Anything to stay with you," She replied, picking up the hamper basket before I could even get to it across the room. I pulled the door open for her and we walked through the living room and into the hall. I led her to the laundry room down the hallway. The one good thing about this building? Each floor had their own laundry room with two washers and two dryers. It was so easy to use, too. I dumped our clothes into one of the dryers and set the timer on for an hour or something. Then we started back to my apartment, leaving the basket behind and upside down on the dryer.
"Why didn't you tell me more about... well, all of this sooner?" She asked, reaching for my hand as we walked back. I was reluctant at first, but I laced our fingers.
"I didn't want you to know. I was just.. scared of what you might think," She laughed a little and kissed my cheek.
"You know I would never judge you, Sam." Her voice was so sweet when she spoke. I almost didn't think it was real. As I opened the door, I caught her lips briefly. Mom had retreated back to her room - I could hear her snoring when we walked into the apartment.
"Let's go take a nap in my room." I whispered against her lips, grinning. She nodded back and we walked quietly to my bedroom. I locked the door behind us and turned out the lights. Easily, I held her hips, guiding us to my small, single bed that was pressed up against the wall and into a corner. I peeled the blankets back and pulled Carly close. She stayed facing me in the darkness, one arm draped over my waist and the other pushing hair away from my face.
"I could really use a nap after that... sex is tiring," She chuckled, curling her head against my chest.
"You're telling me, Cupcake." I whispered back to her, tracing shapes along the small of her back. "Hey, I have a question for you..." She mumbled something, letting me know she was still awake and listening. "Am I still just your distraction?" The only answer I got was her steady, soothing breathing, her breath tickling my skin.
Hot steamy shower sex! Ha! So there will be several more chapters to this story, I don't quite know how many. Carly needs to get over this distraction bit and accept that her and Sam need to be a couple. Reviews are love!