So I decided to start story-boarding the rest of the chapters that I have for the story. Rest assured, there will be plenty more updates; this is going to be a long story, folks, so I hope you are up for the long haul ahead.
Inspirations: purified water and a massive headache.
Chapter Seven: iCan't Do This
Carly Shay, you have no stamina at all. We'll have to work on that. But most of all, Carly Shay, do you know what you do to me? You confuse the hell out of me.
My eyes wouldn't close after I spoke to her in the darkness. Instead I stayed awake, taking in the aroma lifting from her wet hair. It faintly smelled of strawberries and cream, with an undertone of sweat. When I did try to close my eyes, all I saw was rejection. So I quickly opened my eyes, keeping my arms around Carly. My best friend. My life. She meant the world to me and if I didn't mean the same to her, I just don't know what I would do.
She shifted a little in my arms and I buried my face into her hair. I had to try to sleep a little bit. We were safe in my room, wrapped up in each other. At least we could be safe together, right? That made sense. Being with somebody meant feeling safe and loved when you're with them. That's how I feel when I'm with Carly. I'm safe. I can be myself around her, no worries about being judged or anything. I guess I'll never be able to figure this out until she gives me a solid answer. Am I really just her distraction, or am I so much more than that?
Several hours later, I felt lips moving along my neck. My eyes had closed. On the other side of my door, I could hear glass being shattered and shouts being exchanged. One of the many were back with a vengeance, and here Carly and I were, lounging half naked in my bed, recovering from afternoon delights in the shower. Fingers threaded through my hair slowly and I registered that familiar moan against my skin, the lovely sound filling my ears. Mm. She has such a sweet and endearing moan. I love it; I love the way it makes my stomach fill with happiness and generally happy emotions.
"I don't want to get up if you're doing that," I whispered. And sure enough, just as soon as I spoke, she stopped moving her lips playfully along my neck. My lips tugged into a frown. "Gee, Carly. I didn't mean for you to stop..."
"When I hear breaking glass and shouting, I start to worry. Is this why you never talk on the phone with me when you're home?" She asked, pushing hair out of my face. I nodded slightly, taking in slow, deep breaths. I knew she was really close right now. Our lips brushed carefully and I couldn't help but tug at her bottom lip. She was just so close and so sweet and so very addictive.
"And that's usually my cue to leave, especially when I hear my name somewhere in that shouting mess I call a mother." I told her quietly. There was so much I kept from her. I think she was starting to understand more and more why I stayed with her so much, why I depended on her so much. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to break free from my mother, but I couldn't yet. I legally wasn't allowed and there was no way I could take my mother to court or something to be emancipated. That would mean I'd have to live on my own and work and probably rarely see Carly, which would suck so much. A lot.
"So, why are we still here?" She sounded more concerned than curious and I just chuckled to her.
"Do you want to get dressed and leave? We can go to your apartment, if you'd rather..." I suggested, my shoulder shrugging softly. I felt her nod against my forehead and I sighed. "All right, but that means we have to move and put clothes on." I told her, earning a small groan on her part. "Yes, we have to get dressed. I'm not letting you climb out of my window onto the fire escape while you're in the nude."
"I didn't peg you as the jealous type, Sam." She replied, starting to shift and climb out of my bed slowly. I rolled my eyes to her back.
"I'm not. It's cold out and you'll get sick."
"Uh huh," I knew she thought I was jealous of who else could be watching us, but that's not how it was. I didn't feel like arguing my point to the death; I let Carly have this victory, because I'd just get her back sometime in the future.
I sat up as well, leaning my chin on her shoulder and letting my fingertips touch her sides as she pulled my sheets up to cover herself a little more. We were both wearing clothes, but the minimal amount, and I noticed that she was a bit cold. I shifted my chin on her shoulder, letting my lips gently touch her skin. I heard a very low throaty moan leave her slightly parted lips. I smirked in approval of the sound, my teeth tugging the thin strap of the borrowed tank top from her shoulder... until no sooner did I feel a swat at my nose.
"Hey, no. If you do that, then we'll never get out of your bedroom." She almost hissed to me in a hushed tone. But I kept going. And when she swatted at my face again, I playfully growled at her.
"Maybe I don't want to leave my bedroom yet. It's not everyday I'm allowed to get in my best friend's pants," I whispered back to her, wrinkling my nose and letting my lips move along to her neck. Ah-ha. That was her weak spot. She couldn't protest me now, not with the soft moans leaving her slightly pursed lips.
"Mmn, Sam... come on, really," She sounded like she wanted me to stop and I didn't want to cross any lines that I shouldn't, so I stopped, my lips and tongue stilling over her skin. And then she whimpered quietly, just when the glass stopped breaking and the shouting ceased. All I could hear was Carly's unsteady breathing and crying, from my mom's bedroom. My hands rested over her stomach, underneath the tank top, and I shifted, kissing her cheek lovingly.
"I need to check on my mom. I won't be long," I tried to make my voice sound reassuring to her, but I was scared. Not only had Carly confused me beyond belief by acting so much like a girlfriend, but now I had to worry about why my mother was crying, why the glass had stopped shattering, and why the shouting had ceased to a very, very dull roar. Opening the door of my bedroom carefully, I made sure to grab my key. "I'm locking you in," I told her and I watched Carly give me a nod. When I opened the door, an ounce of light had filled my room, sprinkling against her glistening face. I couldn't help but smile and she smiled back. My breath caught looking at her and I reluctantly pulled my bedroom door closed. Inside my room, I heard Carly flip the light switch on and open up my dresser drawers to find something to wear. I hope she wouldn't find the red jeans I took from her last year; they're so comfortable.
Walking down the hallway casually, I looked in the living room and kitchen area. The apartment door was closed. There were several broken glass beer bottles littering the stained carpet, but it wasn't too bad. I checked the bathroom. It smelled like a stale shower mixed with vomit. Okay. Mom was hung over and made it to the bathroom to puke. Go Mom. I kept walking down the hall until I reached my mother's bedroom, the "master" bedroom of the apartment. She was passed out on her bed. The corners of my lips turned into a smile, a lazy one. I looked around the room quietly, opening her closet door and even checking under the bed. She was completely alone. I wonder what it was that caused her to throw empty bottles around the living room and kitchen and breaking them and whatever. She was such a strange drunk. Once she had asked me to rub spray cheese on her feet while she was drunk, and then started giggling about it when I didn't. Oh, mother.
I unlocked my bedroom door and slipped inside my room, a bright grin pulling across my face. Carly was going through my dresser still, her back towards the door that I had just closed, obviously not quietly enough. She turned her head to look at me over her shoulder.
"Hey," My voice was quiet. She had changed, into those red jeans and she was wearing my favorite bottle cap belt with them. She always had to wear a belt with those red jeans, which was why I took them from her originally. I had the ass to fill them out better. As much as I love Carly, she has absolutely no ass.
"I didn't know you had my red pants. I was looking for these." Heck, she was even wearing my black bra. My black bra. She hadn't found a shirt to match the pants yet, I noticed. My eyes were deciding where to focus: her eyes, her lips, her flat stomach, her chest. My gosh, Carly Shay, you are gorgeous...
"S-sorry, Shay. You still don't have the ass to fill those out." I teased her, grinning from ear to ear. I moved towards my closet, picking out a black tank that would look great on her. I walked it over to her. "You should wear this if you're gonna wear those pants." I whispered and she caught my lips, her hand holding my face. My eyes closed. But when she broke away and giggled, I knew she had some kind of ulterior motive. "What was that for?" I didn't even know why I spoke, why I had to ruin the moment.
"Just... mmn, because," I watched her shoulders shrug as she took the shirt out of my hands and smiled to me. The fact that she wasn't really giving me a solid answer was an answer enough for me. Did that make any sense? It kind of did to me. A little bit. My mind is warped, though, beyond belief.
While she pulled on the shirt I had suggested and admired herself in the mirror hanging from my closet door, I locked my door from the outside and slipped back in. I could hear my mother stirring down the hall, her door wide open. I pulled my door shut and threaded my fingers through my hair. I wanted to leave my room but I felt so comfortable in here, especially with Carly around and wearing my clothes. Well, my shirt; the pants were hers.
After what felt like hours and hours, we climbed down the fire escape carefully and started walking towards the bus stop to take the bus back to Carly's apartment. While we were walking, Spencer had called to say that he left his credit card for her to order take-out or something while he was away. Turns out that he ended up scoring some really awesome job at a local modern art museum, a new one, but he had to travel to New York City for a few days to meet with the curator and talk about business stuff.
"You didn't have to pay for me," I heard her whisper as she rested her head on my shoulder. I kept my arms folded over my chest and I smiled to her.
"It's all right. I knew you didn't have any change on you anyway." I replied to her, watching her fingers shyly walk along my thigh. We had always done stuff like this when we were out in public and often times got mistaken for a couple. Ha. I would have never believed that Carly had any ounce of bisexuality or homosexuality in her until she kissed me. Now? I don't even know what to think of her. I bet she's confused, too.
"I didn't have any change." She wrinkled her nose some, tracing shapes along my leg. I was used to her subtle affections. Sometimes, they drove me completely crazy. The bus ride to her house, which was only about a fifteen minute ride, was somewhat unbearable from her actions. It wasn't until the bus stopped and I moved that she lifted her head. I led her off the bus as she reached for my hand. There were a lot of people getting off of the bus with us, so I didn't mind her holding my hand. I wouldn't want to lose Carly to a crowd.
I watched her fumble with her keys in one hand, her other hand still clasped with mine. She didn't want to let go, I figured. Or maybe I had it all wrong. I don't really know. As we moved inside, I settled in on the couch and she moved into the kitchen, getting herself something to drink. I felt the couch shift when she sat back down, and she grabbed the television remote before I could even turn the television on.
"Aw, come on. I wanted to catch the end of the 2012 thing on the History Channel," I complained, but she shook her head.
"I want to talk about... about us." She replied gently, setting her drink aside. My breath caught. My fingers threaded nervously through my hair at her suggestion and I nodded slowly. My legs folded up on the couch and I gave Carly my full attention.
"Okay, go for it. I'm all yours." I gave her my full, undivided attention. Well, I did that quite often when it came to Carly, especially when she wanted to talk about something as important as... us. She had put emphasis on that part of the sentence, which meant she was serious. She wasn't fucking around here. Ha. I said fuck.
"I just want to be friends." Her voice was small-sounding, and I could tell she didn't want to hurt me. But her words hurt, a lot. She just took her words, morphed them into an Uzi and shot me in the damn heart until it was shredded to bits and pieces. My breath caught in the back of my throat and I bowed my head. "Still best friends... I just.. don't want to date anybody right now," She explained to me, trying to comfort me by pushing hair behind my ear, but I roughly pushed her hand away.
"I understand, Carls." So it was just a pity kiss? Oh great. Thanks, best friend. Way to take my heart, play with it, and dip it in a vat of acid. "What we did in the shower... it meant nothing to you?"
"No, I'm not saying that... it was amazing but.."
"There's always a but, and I don't mean a butt." I replied flatly, shaking my head to her.
"Well, you can still stay over tonight... I can take the couch if you don't want to share the bed with me," I shook my head to her. There was no fucking way I was going to stick around after you told me you just wanted to be friends, Carly mother fucking Shay.
I rose to my feet and shook my head to her again. "No. I'm going home." Was all that I gave her before escaping into the hallway. Freddie had just stepped out of his apartment across the hall when I moved into the hallway. I suppose he couldn't tell that tears were close to welling in my eyes because he smirked at me. I just glared at him and kept walking. I didn't even want to take the elevator down from Carly's apartment. Walking the several staircases down would ease my mind a little. I hope.
Okay. So... this chapter was shorter than I thought it would be. BUT I have planned up to at least chapter fifteen for this story. I might also end this story in the 20-30 chapter range and break off to do a sequel, instead of keeping it all together, and maybe in Carly's POV? -eyebrow waggle- Reviews are lovedddd.