A Fox by Any Other Name

Fox was panting heavily and looking down on the floor, feeling a very sharp pain in the back of his neck. He didn't know what was happening, but the whole world looked black with a strange yellow aura surrounding his eyesight. Everything had an odd yellow tint to it. His head was throbbing like crazy; it felt like someone whacked him with a sledgehammer.

(What…? Where-Where am I? This isn't right. I-I don't remember being here; I don't remember being this cold. What's going on?) thought Fox.

His whole mind was shouting and sputtering random questions about the current situation. Nothing seemed to make any sense at all. At least, not until he got up and heard someone yell ferociously at him. Some guard with an evil black aura around him was carrying a sledgehammer and was about to whack him in the face.

(OH CRAP!) shouted Fox in his mind.

He ducked under the hammer twice and uppercutted the dark being in the jaw, knocking the hammer out of his hands. Then he jump-kicked the being and quickly performed his Fox Illusion maneuver, dashing right through the being at light speed. The being groaned and slowly lurched to his side, falling down on the hard floor. Fox rushed over to the body and immediately put his hands around the dark being's neck, strangling it so hard that he could feel all of his bones cracking. Satisfied at the fact that the being was finally dead (or at least in a comatose state) he staggered and stood up slowly, continuing to walk down the hallway he was in. When Fox was halfway through, he started to hyperventilate a little bit while groaning. Then out of nowhere, he vomited on the floor. Fox stared at the multi-colored pile of puke, trying to see if he could find some sort of clue, hope that he'd suddenly get a rush of information.

But it was no use. He only felt exhausted and continued to stroll down the hallway while holding his head.

(Think damnit! Think! What did you do last night? What do you remember? …Okay, I was flying in my Arwing when I was ambushed by…something. Falco came to my rescue but… No, that couldn't have happened! Falco wasn't even there!)

Fox hid behind a wall and pressed his back up against it, slowly moving across it. He heard several low growls and massive ranting not far from where he was. Fox peeked around the corner and saw a gigantic fleet of Bowser clones talking with one another, talking about some plans of invasion. Even Fox couldn't take on over 230 Bowser clones at once.

(Okay. Okay. I can do this…I can do this. All I have to do is walk slowly and act like I'm not even here. If they think I'm just a useless guard with no name patrolling the hallways, they won't suspect a thing.)

Fox's heart began to beat and his breaths were suddenly very loud and audible. It was like time was slowing down. Fox dramatically took a step forward.

(You don't see me. You guys do not see me. None of you see me. Pay absolutely no attention to the runaway fox in the hallway.)

Fox continued to take a couple of more steps forward, glancing at the crowd of Bowser clones. Unfortunately for Fox, one of them edged his eye over to Fox and saw him.

(You did not see me, you did not see me, you did not see me, you did not see me…)

Fox's brain continued to shoot out the same phrase over and over again as he continued to walk along the hallway. His heart was beating like crazy; his breaths were increasing and getting louder. It sounded like Fox was about to scream. Just as Fox was about to get across, he glanced at the group of Bowser clones and realized they were all staring directly at him, ready to attack.

(Shit, they saw me.)

Fox began to sprint like crazy in order to try and escape the pursing koopa clones. He had to jump-kick himself off the wall and threw his body up into an air vent, crawling through it like a rat trapped in an obstacle course trying to find cheese. Luckily, none of the clones found him. Fox bashed open another trapdoor that lead to another room and dropped down into it. He sighed heavily and looked all around the area in order to make sure no one else was following him. He heard low breathing and growls behind him.

Fox didn't even have time to react when Wolf lashed him in the face with his claws…

Fox shouted and jolted himself awake, panting heavily and examining his surroundings. The sky was dark red and somewhat yellow. Rocks were everywhere and were colored brown or dark red. The place seemed a tad bit…evil and depressing. Fox turned around and saw that his Arwing had crashed into the ground and was on fire.

"Falco?" shouted Fox.

Fox looked to his left and saw a blue falcon with his head stuck in the ground, repeatedly trying to yank it out. It was Falco…who somehow got his head impaled into a hole in the ground. Fox rushed over to his body and grabbed Falco by his torso from behind. He grunted with effort as he tried to pull his feathered friend out of the ground. After he grabbed Falco and tried to pull him out for several seconds, he shouted and fell backwards when Falco's head exploded through the dirt. They both got off the ground and shook the dirt off their heads and clothes.

"Thanks Fox."

"No problem. Why was your head in the ground anyway?" asked Fox.

"I thought you knew! All I remember is that we were flying in our Arwing's and that someone began to fire at us from behind. Next thing I know, I wake up with a mouth full of dirt."

"…You just woke up with your head in the ground?"

"Basically."

Fox and Falco looked up into the sky and around the rocky area, still wondering what location they were at.

"I think we crashed on planet Venom." concluded Fox.

"So what do we do now? We're thousands of miles away from all of the other Brawlers and we got no aircraft to fly us back to New Pork City!"

"I remember some bar that lies in the canyons of Venom. I think it's called The Hount Spout."

"The Hount Spout?"

"Hey, I didn't think of the name! Let's just go there and find a payphone so we can call Mario and ask him what's going on."

Mario and half of the other Brawlers were standing on the grounds of the Green Green forest, talking with one another and trying to find out what was going on. Many of the Brawlers woke up with sewn up scars on various parts of their body, or in Fox's case, the middle of nowhere. They needed to find out what was going on as soon as possible.

"What happened to you?" Luigi asked.

"I woke up falling down a cliff…" muttered Captain Falcon, with numerous scars on his body.

"What about you?"

"I nearly drowned in a pond! Someone threw me in a lake and tied me up to a chair!" said Sonic.

"And you Link?"

"Don't ask. All I know is that…don't ask."

"Guys…why can't I feel my kidney…?" asked Yoshi.

All of the Brawlers looked at Yoshi and saw a large stitched up scar where his kidney should be. A few of them touched it and Yoshi winced and tried to swat their hands away. There was a very good chance that Yoshi had been through the same situation as Bowser, only he still had his heart. In a way, this was a good thing. Most animals can survive with only one kidney; Bowser was wearing a pacemaker that could shut off and instantly kill him. Still, it felt awkward to wake up without a kidney.

"Okay guys, listen up!" announced Mario.

All of the Brawlers gathered around Mario and were about to have a group discussion.

"Last night…I had this really weird dream: Some dark 'thing' appeared and it started to attack me. I tried to run from it, but for some reason, it looked like I was running down an endless pathway. Then the floors instantly disappear and I fall on top of Peach's castle. Next thing I know…it's raining me!"

"It's raining 'you'?" asked Ike.

"Thousands and thousands of Marios were falling from the sky, attacking me with full force! All of them were wearing different clothing, but they looked just like me!"

"How'd this dream end?" asked Kirby.

"A metal version of myself kicked me off the castle and everything became dark. Just when I was about to fall, I wake up."

"My dream was exactly like that…except it ended with Mewtwo suffocating me to death…" said Kirby.

"Did everybody have the same dream?!" asked Sonic.

Everybody nervously looked at each other, fearful that they all just dreamt a dangerous premonition the night before.

"I gotta call Fox." said Mario, taking out his cellphone.

Fox and Falco were resting inside of a broken down bar located in the middle of nowhere. The bar was covered in falling brown bricks and had a flickering neon light sigh that said The Hnt Sout (many of the letters have fallen off). Most of the people inside of the bar were all drunken idiots and pirates that went from city to city robbing people. For some odd reason, there were puddles of water everywhere and a storm drain located in the center of the floor. Perhaps the puddles of water were urine that was supposed to lead to the sewer; it would explain the odd stench in the air.

"This is The Hount Spout?" asked Falco.

"Unfortunately, yes." said Fox.

"Why's it smell like someone peed on the walls?!"

"Sorry. I thought this was the bathroom." said a drunken pedestrian.

Fox groaned. "Falco, you go stand by the payphone until Mario calls while I…try and find the bathroom."

Fox walked over to the bartender.

"Hey, where's the bathroom?" asked Fox.

"What bathroom? We don't have any bathrooms here."

"What am I supposed to pee in then?"

"See, this is why we installed a storm drain."

Fox turned around and glanced at the storm drain, witnessing another pedestrian urinating into it.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Meanwhile, the payphone Falco was resting next began to ring. Falco quickly picked it up and began to talk to Mario.

"Thank God. Mario, what the hell's going on? Everyone thinks we're some assassins from another galaxy, I woke up with dirt in my mouth, and my head is hurting so much it feels like I've had a lobotomy."

"That figures."

"What do you mean?"

"All of the other Brawlers have woken up in perilous situations and some of them have stitches on their bodies. Yoshi thinks his kidney's been cut out and Sonic woke tied to a chair underwater. Look, where are you and Fox?"

"I dunno. Some bar on planet Venom."

"What?! That's not possible!"

"Why?"

"Planet Venom's been destroyed! Didn't you hear about it on the news? Someone fired a humongous laser at the planet and it exploded."

"That's not possible! Fox and I just traded all of our coins for Venomian dollars!"

"There's no such thing a Venomian dollars jackass!"

"…FOX?!!!"

Falco dropped the phone and rushed to Fox.

Mario groaned and shut off his cellphone.

"Something wrong Mario?" asked Luigi.

"I don't think Fox and Falco are gonna be coming here for a while."

"Fox! We gotta go. I think someone just screwed us over." said Falco.

"Hey, do you guys need any help?" asked a mysterious voice.

Fox and Falco turned around to see Sonic standing in the bar.

"Sonic? I thought you were with Mario and the other Brawlers?" asked Fox.

"Yes, I was. They sent me here to come and get you. I figured out your location with a GPS locator."

"…Okay."

"Look it's not safe here. We need to leave this land as soon as possible before Bowser--"

"What does Bowser have to do with any of this?" asked Falco.

"I'll explain it to you on the way. C'mon, let's go!" said Sonic.

Fox and Falco were still completely confused, but they decided to trust a fellow Brawler such as Sonic and followed him out the back door. However, there was something very wrong with Sonic that Fox and Falco didn't notice:

If his eye color is green, why were they yellow?