Voretastic

Diddy was still getting dragged by the unknown creature into the center of God knows where. He continuously kept kicking the beast and punching something in the face, but with no light in his view, he was practically blind. And if things weren't any worse, his leg was busted and possibly broken. There was hardly anything he could do but wait for the beast to kill him or stop dragging him along the dirt.

"URGH!! Let me go!!" yelled Diddy, kicking the creature in the eye.

The creature yowled and let go of Diddy, who used this brief moment to crawl away. The gesture was useless, as the beast grabbed Diddy once again and continued to drag him along the dirt.

"At least tell me where we're going!" demanded Diddy.

"To cage with your uncle!"

Diddy gasped with a sense of anticipation. "Uncle DK is here?"

Diddy yelped when he was raised into the air, dangling by his stubby near broken leg. Someone…or something lifted him high into the air and started swinging his body back and forth. Suddenly, a finger appeared out of nowhere and began to flick his stomach, thrashing his body around even more.

"HEY! What the hell's is going on?! Stop flicking me!!" protested Diddy.

That's when the lights came on and Diddy was aware of his surroundings. He was hanging upsidedown by this large, reptilian creature. Diddy couldn't see for a couple of seconds since his eyes weren't adjusted to the light yet, but when his vision did come to, he was surprised at his innovation. The creature hoisting him in the air was a giant, oversized Krusha, wearing a camouflaged tank-top and shorts like always. He was big and blue and had some crooked teeth hanging out of his mouth like a crocodile. And of course, Krusha was as bulky as ever composed of several hundred pounds of muscle and fat.

"Krusha?! When did you get involved in this plot? What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Uh…I forgot. All I know is that King K. Rool ordered me to capture the Kong siblings."

"So what, he just wants you to hold us inside some dank cage until you receive further orders?"

"Erm…yeah. I guess so. Now…"

Krusha opened up a cave near the roof of the cave and shoved Diddy inside, knocking his body against the metal bars and damaging his leg even more.

"STAY IN THERE!!" shouted Krusha, slamming the door shut and sealing him inside.

Diddy limply stood up and glanced out the cage, watching the massive blue-scaled reptile walk around the cave, muttering incoherent phrases to himself.

"Knowing Krusha, he'll just knock the cage down with his head and I can just run outside when he's not looking." mumbled Diddy.

"I seriously doubt that'll work nephew." said a low voice.

Diddy turned around and saw his injured bulky uncle lying down on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

"Uncle DK! Glad to see you man! But uh, would you mind telling me what's going on here? The Brawlers have been waking up in castles, underwater, in jail cells, and many other places, and some of them are missing their organs! You know they cut out Yoshi's kidney?"

"Lucky him; they took out my spleen."

Diddy inhaled sharply and said, "Ouch!! That must suck!"

"Hey, at least they didn't cut out my heart like they did Bowser's."

"Bowser's dead?!"

"No, no. He's wearing a pacemaker now."

"…This is getting too freaky. Why is everyone losing their organs?"

DK shrugged. "Cloning perhaps. I've been stuck here since midnight and every 10 or 20 minutes, I see Krusha head behind a section of the cave and when he comes back, he's got blood all over his mouth and he's rubbing his stomach with satisfaction. The last three times, I've heard screaming that sounds strangely like me when I get a knife shoved up my ass--"

"…Up your ass..?"

"--and when he belched the last time with his mouth open, I saw an arm that looked exactly like mine…only the fur was yellow. I think Krusha or K. Rool, or whoever's in charge of this operation, needs our body parts to make replicas of ourselves."

"…Like gene splicing?"

"Something like that. I don't know; this is all guess work."

Diddy sighed heavily and rubbed his head. He still wasn't sure what was going on, but it obviously wasn't aligned with the side of unity. No one kidnaps a heroic ape and his nephew just for cloning purposes. Something more sinister was happening.

"It's funny, because lately, the Brawlers and I have been sensing an evil…disturbance in the atmosphere. We think there's gonna be another attack or raid soon. Judging by the size of Krusha, he must be a key player in this plot so I suggest we pump him for information."

"So what should we do? Trick Krusha into telling us about K. Rool's schemes?"

"…Actually, I was thinking we could just throw our poop at him and piss him off, but that sounds cool too!"

"Hmm…what to do…"

Diddy grabbed a large bone most likely from another DK clone and waited for Krusha to return to the cage. When he did, Diddy threw the bone at his large bulky face and watched as he grunted when the bone hit him in the eye. Krusha looked around the cave with confusion and scratched his head.

"Is the sky raining bones?" asked Krusha.

"UP HERE DUMBASS!!" shouted Diddy.

"Huh?" grunted Krusha questionably, looking up at the cage.

"Yeah you, the ugly blue Kremlin! I got somethin' to tell you!"

Krusha laughed evilly and started flexing his massive pecks.

"Do you really want to mess with Krusha? Look at these muscles. Look at 'em!"

"The thing is Krusha, my nephew and I have an important question to ask you…" started DK.

"What's that ape?"

DK sighed heavily. "What evil plans does King K. Rool have in store for us? Is he trying to clone all the Brawlers so he can feed them to you or is it something more ominous? Or maybe that swamp headed gator is trying to steal our Crystal Coconut like the last 20 times?"

Krusha laughed in a deep, throaty tone. "Of course not! K. Rool is planning nothing that…um…complex. He's going to…WAIT!! Wait just one second!"

"Here we go…" whispered Diddy, smiling to himself.

"You're trying to trick me! You trick stupid old Krusha will reveal all the secrets to master K. Rool's sc--sc…uh, what's the word?"

"Schemes."

"Yeah! But Krusha is smarter than stupid apes! Krusha knows what Diddy and his stew-pid apes are trying to do! You think Krusha will tell you that the boss kidnapped DK while sleeping and used a…um…an-e-sthe-tic…? Yeah, anesthetic to drug you then cut out your spleen! But Krusha is so much smarter than you!"

"Psshaw! Like you're so smart. You can't even find your nose!" bantered Diddy.

"Dah…yeah I can! Krusha's nose is here! See?" said Krusha, pointing to his earhole.

Diddy and his uncle snickered under their breath, amazed at how dimwitted Krusha really was. Surely a common idiot could find out where their nose was, but Krusha was just one of those "special" occasions. Perhaps his intellect went into his massive abs, which would explain why he was so buff. Or maybe he stuck his head in an over and his brain just melted out his ear. No one really knows, but then again, most people who asked were too scared of what he might do.

"Now keep quiet! I can't watch you if you're distracting me with your comments!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You'd fall asleep if we kept talking to you because you can't focus."

"Shut up Diddy! You're not gonna trick Krusha again. You won't make me tell you that K. Rool isn't the only one involved! That he's just a small wombat in a colony of…wombats!"

Diddy and DK smiled and snickered again. "Reeeeaaaally??" asked the two, looking at each other.

"So…how'd you get so fat?" asked Diddy out of nowhere.

"KRUSHA IS NOT FAT!! Krusha is a bag full of pain and muscle! Krusha does not know the meaning of fat!"

"20 bucks says he's doesn't." joked Diddy.

"Unlike the bad man Cryptus, I am not fat!"

"Cryptus huh?"

"He looks like me, but Cryptus is so much fatter and his scales are red and pink. Krusha thinks Cryptus is a clone of me…a defect."

(So they're cloning their own Brawlers too!) thought DK.

"Well, this is fairly entertaining. The big oaf is telling us all his secrets everytime we insult him!" whispered DK in Diddy's ear.

"HEY!! I heard that! Stop tricking Krusha or Krusha will d-d-de…DAMNIT! Uh…what's the word again? De…vour? Let's go with that. Krusha will devour you!"

DK and Diddy shuddered. "That would be scary! The smell of your breath would kill us before we even reached your esophagus!!"

"No it would not! The smell would kill you when you fall on my tongue!" said Krusha, smiling happily.

DK and Diddy couldn't help but fall on their backs and laugh their asses off, completely blown away by Krusha and his simply minded brain…if he even had a brain that is. Krusha breathed into his palm and smelled his breath, shortly before he shook his head and turned back to DK and Diddy.

"WAIT! My breath does not smell bad!"

"Please! It smells like my ass when I forget to wipe after I poop in DK's drawer full of ties!"

Diddy yelped when DK bonked him on the head with his large fist.

"THAT WAS YOU?! It took me over five hours to wash those ties!!"

"My breath does not smell bad! It is not malo…malo, um…malodor…something…"

Krusha stopped talking and began to count the syllables of the word "malodorous" with his fingers.

"Oh, right! Malodorous! Yeah, my breath is not stinky and malodorous! Unlike Bowser, my breath smells fresh and clean! Maybe that's why Cryptus had his heart cut out and…volunteered him to be the first cloned member of the Evil League."

"…This isn't just the Brawlers; they're cloning every fighter they can get their hands on." whispered Diddy.

"Um…" DK and Diddy weren't sure what to say next, because if they learned any more about this perilous conspiracy, someone would certainly be gunning for them in the future. But if there was even a slight chance that they could escape the cave and deliver this information to Kirby and the gang, it was worth the risk.

"Just one more Uncle DK. Perhaps he'll gift wrap the whole thing if we tease him this one last time."

"Okay. So Krusha…"

"What?"

"You told your friends that I've been plotting to sleep with your sister behind your back?"

"SHUT UP!! Stop trying to make Krusha talk about the master plans! They told me to make sure you never know of the…gene spli…cing. Donkey Kong and his nephew are not supposed to know of ultra boss plans to rule the Universe with army of clones! If you found out about that, it would be very…good to the leaders!"

"Don't you mean bad?"

"Maybe…?"

Krusha's stomach growled loudly and he walked away, looking for more food to eat.

"We have to get out of here right now! Mario must know of this attack before it's too late!"

Diddy kicked the metal door with his other foot and shouted out in pain.

"YOW!! Damnit, why are doors so hard?" said Diddy, holding his throbbing red foot.

DK shoved his nephew out the way and approached the door.

"Step aside Diddy! Let me show you how a real ape does it!"

DK started to twirl his right arm around while hiking his left leg up, gaining power for his Giant Punch. Then he snarled loudly and slammed his fist into the door, knocking it to the bottom of the cave.

"Let's go."

"I don't think so!" said Krusha, who appeared from the other section of the cave.

DK and Diddy gasped loudly.

"K. Rool just gave me orders saying he doesn't need you anymore! And since I can't find any food…"

DK and Diddy grunted when Krusha grabbed both of them with his left foot, holding them next to his face.

"I guess I'll just eat you instead!"

Krusha lifted the Kongs' high into the air and slowly lowered them into his mouth, much to the Kongs' protests.

"You can't eat me! I don't taste good and I'm hairy! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!" whined Diddy.

But Krusha didn't care; he dropped the Kongs' into his mouth and began to taste them with his tongue.

"Man it stinks in here! Hasn't Krusha ever heard of a toothbrush?!" said DK, plugging his nose.

DK and his nephew still hadn't been swallowed yet and were resting on his tongue. They suddenly began to slide backwards and realized that they were falling down the esophagus due to all the saliva. The Kongs' tried to run up Krusha's tongue, but he rolled it back on purpose and made sure that they had no chance of escape. The apes, unable to hold onto his slimy tongue, fell down into the esophagus and began to flow down his throat, stopping every now and then when they got stuck. But on the outside, Krusha lifted his head high and massaged his throat so they could travel down with ease. Krusha gulped loudly and sighed heavily afterwards.

"Tasty!!"

Diddy and his uncle screamed as they fell into Krusha's stomach and landed with a splash as they plummeted in his stomach fluids. They emerged from the pool of acid and juices breathing heavily, brushing the gunk off their faces. When they looked left and right, they saw a couple of ape organs from the various different types of DK clones.

"Well, this is extremely repulsive. How could things get any worse?!" moaned Diddy.

DK and his nephew looked down and heard frequent bubbling and saw the slimy juices bubble and steam, emitting a sour gas. And if that wasn't bad enough, they began to smell their own flesh burning…

"Dude…what's goin' on?" asked Diddy.

"This is acid…Oh my God! We're getting digested!!!"