Because Of Grace and Blue Eyes by Mochamint19
Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical, so please don't sue me
Rating: T- for teen elements and drama
Please Enjoy! I worked really hard on it.
Chapter 5: Fear Is The Heart of Love
~ September 4th, 2013 ~
It was funny how a few days could change your perspective or maybe it was how one big event made you realize what was real and what was present. That reality was a strong taste of what was really important and how guilty a person could feel.
"I'm so truly sorry Gabriella, I don't even have the words to explain how horrible my behavior has been; how juvenile my actions have seemed towards you." Troy said placing his former love into the front seat of his car.
"This isn't your fault Troy, it is going be just fine ok." Gabriella said calmly to him.
"I should know better though. This stress isn't good for you in you current condition. Gosh, I am such an idiot for putting you and your daughter in danger."
"Troy! Look at me." Gabriella said sternly. "You are not an idiot. You shouldn't have to worry about that stupid stuff right now. You really need to focus on getting me to a hospital very soon. If you don't I won't be able to even argue with you because my daughter will be born in the front seat of your car." She said taking a deep breath.
Driving to the hospital and listening to the soft lull of the radio mixed with the peaceful pace of Gabriella's breathing made Troy sense that his heart was playing tricks with his mind. He hated these dreadful feelings from his deceiving heart. The ones that made him pretend even for the briefest second that his deepest dreams had came true. That she belonged to him again and everything was perfect once more. However the truth hit him harshly with every concerned question she would ask, most of them involving Ryan. The facts were clear to him; he had a daughter, he could have had this moment, and also how he had missed his moment five years ago. He needed to distract his heart before it started taking over. Then maybe it would stop playing with his thoughts. It would leave him with peace.
"How can you be so calm in a moment like this?" he finally asked; a simple question right?
She laughed ever so lightly, "The truth is I'm sort of scared to death right now, but I guess I'm not surprised."
His follow up question died in the chaos of the noisy hospital floor. He watched her as she silently walked up to a desk, sat down a few minutes later and started filling out paperwork. This unfortunately left him alone with those horrible thoughts again. Just sad dreams that were crushed to pieces when ever she would ask if Ryan had called back.
"I have called him at least three times and I haven't gotten a call back yet I'm sorry." Troy said trying to sound convincing. He hated himself for feeling this way and for wanting Ryan to take his sweet time getting here. He needed answers though and a whole lot more closure.
"So what do you mean you aren't surprised?" Troy began, however nobody heard him.
He laughed at the irony of life being a funny thing though. As soon as he began Gabriella was being wheeled down hallways and through many doorways. Like a maze in hell he followed wishing this was all an awful dream and he would wake up in study hall at their former high school. It was becoming all too much depression for him so he had decided to sit in a comfortable chair and close his eyes. With the lack of sleep and the peaceful felling the hospital surprisingly gave him it wasn't long before he had drifted into a dream filled slumber.
It felt like an hour later when he awoke to a light tapping and the soft voice of an angel. "Hey sleepyhead come on wake up."
Opening his eyes he expected to see a pair of warm chocolate eyes, but instead found himself staring into the most beautiful of innocent blue orbs. They were different from the mocha covered ones that always captured his dreams. Yet they were attached to the most astonishing smiling face he would ever see.
"What are you dreaming of?" she said giggling.
"I'm just dreaming of angels." Troy said speaking softly.
The young girl smiled again; "Well I'm your only angel right daddy?"
The tears started to come filling the rims of his eyelids. His heart felt this triumph as he questioned if he had heard the five-year-old correctly. "Yes of course butterfly." Troy said sniffling.
"Mommy told me I should come get you so that you don't miss anything. " The little girl announced proudly.
Getting up from the chair he felt the sad ache that sleeping in a chair could do to a man and entered the room. The room was filled with bouquets of purple violets and a sense of happiness as he softly walked in to see a smiling Gabriella. "I almost thought you were going to sleep through this." She said snickering at him just a little.
"Um... where is Ryan?" Troy asked suddenly confused.
" He is in the waiting room with all the rest of our friends." Gabriella said looking at Troy funny.
"Oh, do you want me to get go him when it comes closer to the birth?"
Gabriella looked concerned now, "Troy sweetie are you feeling ok? Why would Ryan be here for the birth of our child?"
"Isn't he your husband? Wait, did you just say our child?"
"Yes silly what is going on with you? Did you bump your head? Our son." She said now with a different expression and expression of pain. " I don't know what is going on, but I think something is wrong?" Gabriella uttered as she started clutching her stomach.
"Mr. Bolton? Excuse me Mr. Bolton?" He heard as a nurse pushed by him.
And suddenly he felt himself falling, his head was spinning and he heard sounds that didn't fit. " Mr. Bolton can you wake up please? Mrs. Evans is asking for you."
He woke up for the second time that day. Except this time actually felt real and it was not as happy. He wanted to believe so badly that maybe he could check anyway. " Sharpay Evans?"
" No sorry." The nurse stated look apologetically. " You might still be a little groggy. You were out for quite a long time. Mrs. Gabriella Evans is asking for you." She said politely.
His fear had been confirmed and again his heart broke. The tears that pricked the back of his throat as he stood up made him understand how difficult reality really had to be. Troy followed the nurse to Gabriella's room sadly. He despised his mind for how so easily it had been betrayed by his heart; how it allowed him again to trust that she was his again.
When he reached the room he saw Gabriella there smiling the same smile he had seen a thousand times in his dreams. She was sitting on the foot of the bed so in love with the little girl sitting next to her, the smallest angel now apparent in his dreams.
"Hello" the little girl shouted politely as she ran to hug him and her mother crossed the room.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Gabriella said with such beauty that it scared him.
All Troy could do was nod and let his fate decide what was to happen now.
Let the two of us go on a little walk," Gabriella said. " I am pretty sure it will be a little while and I assume you have many questions. You would be surprised at how much she seems to have in common with you. My little tomboy." She looked back at their daughter.
Troy nodded again, " Are you sure you will be ok?" He said with concern.
"You don't have to worry the doctors gave me a little something for the pain because after little miss in there I have decided on other methods this time." Gabriella laughed sarcastically. "I promise I'll be good, if you will do the same."
"I promise."
"Like I have said before I don't want to confuse her and complicate her at such a young age. She is your daughter though and that is a fact I can never change. You deserve to be a part of her life. You have every right to get to know her for the amazing little girl she is, but maybe it would be best if you were just a friend for right now?"
Troy was lost. " How does that work though? How can I just sit in the background and watch her grow up. How can I not be a part of the decisions? Who gets to share in the most important moments of her life?"
"All of us will. You will get to make every decision and see every memory. You will always be her father Troy, but she needs to know that at a time when she can handle it."
"I want to see her though. How will I be able to spend alone time with her if my career is in California and she is in New Jersey." Troy said sadly.
" You are moving to California?" Gabriella whispered sorrowful. "When did you decide that?"
"I got a column in the California Post three months ago. I told them I needed to finish up some things here and that I could come after that. I leave in two weeks."
"You will get to spend as much time as you can with her; as much as you want. Just as long as you understand that this is what's best for her at this time. She is a smart girl and I am sure she will figure it out sooner or later. Troy you will get as much of a say and school picture as you want. There will not be as much as a lost tooth without your knowledge. I owe you that much." Gabriella told him gently.
Troy sat down in one of the chairs along the hallway defeated. " She is a beautiful little girl Gabriella. You have done such a great job, I really should give you and Ryan more credit."
"I would love to meet her, I can't wait." He said eagerly.
"I can't wait for her to truly meet you either." Gabriella said smiling again nervously.
"Can I ask you something?" Troy asked hoping that his questions were not going to be too personal.
"Of course." She said shaking him out of his reverie.
"What did you mean when you said you weren't surprised?" He asked shyly.
The young mother laughed again. "I am not sure what it is, but I seem to produce very anxious children. At first after Sofie was born almost three weeks early I thought it had something to do with your stubbornness. Still maybe now that Elise is nearly a month and half premature I think I may have passed on my impatience instead."
"So were you scared?" Troy questioned this time seriously. "You know I would have never let you do that alone. I would have been there every step of the way?"
"I didn't do it alone though. I had Ryan there with me almost all of the way; he saved that little girl and me from complete disaster. He is a really good man Troy, the better half of me. It scares me sometimes how much I can love someone so much, but it keeps me alive. That is what scared me at nineteen and what still scares me today. I guess fear is the heart of love though right?"
Troy began to spurt out questions to distract himself from the piercing pain in his heart. The sudden enormous pain of loosing someone you loved so deeply. "What time was she born, how much did she weigh, her first words?"
"Sofia Anne was born at 3:47am to a very tired teenager who was scared to death of all seven pounds and three ounces of her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me though." Gabriella said wincing. "Her first word was cookie. I think she learned that from Zeke though."
Troy started to worry again, "Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I am going to have a baby!" She said beaming so proudly. " Can you go get Ryan please? I think he is still in the waiting room talking to Sharpay."
Troy shook his head quickly and went to leave.
"Wait Troy before you go. Thank you so much for everything. You would have made an amazing father and a great husband. At least you'll get to be a father though. I'm sorry your dreams didn't go the way you planned them." Gabriella stated as she sat in the nearest chair.
"Don't think that, not on the day your daughter is born. I have no regrets from that night at Chad's to this very day." He lied. " I have the most beautiful little girl, a little someone who is alive because of me. Don't worry Gabriella I'm going to go find your husband."
When he finally found the group including Ryan and Sofie he watched as the little girl bounded through the door and his heart melted. For the first time he felt different. Gone was most of the sadness in his heart, he didn't despise love or laugh at the idea of love at first sight. He loved her even as she ran after Ryan. He took Ryan aside, "Gabriella wanted me to come and find you. I think it is getting close to that time."
Both men walked quickly as the both talked. "Thank you Troy, thank you so much for taking care of her. You were always such a great friend to her. I hope you will be able to stay that way. For both of us."
Troy just accepted it with a slight nod as they both spotted the girl they had both fallen so deeply in love with as they came around the corner. Troy saw his most precious moments and special years of high school. Ryan however saw the scared pregnant teenager he had fallen for that August night so many nights ago. He could still hear the panic in their young voices and saw the fright in her face turn into a calm smile.
"Are you ready to do this again?" She asked, her smile bright and cheerful; excited.
Troy saw the expression on her face, the way she looked at Ryan. He could see the way she undyingly loved him and he understood. He had no choice but to respect Gabriella's wishes. As much as he wanted to get to know his daughter, as her father, he knew that Gabriella was right. It would only confuse the young girl who had no idea how much her presence in this world tortured them both.
He would send her birthday cards, dream of those first days of school and maybe one day he could walk her down the aisle when she decided to commit in loving someone as he would always be committed to her mother. Gabriella was his high school sweetheart and he would always love her.
He would never let go of those beautiful blue eyes. They were the one visible piece of him that she had received. She was the spitting image of her mother; he knew his little Sofia Anne would grow up to be just as sweet and intelligent too. Those eyes would always hold her mother's grace and he hoped one day they would also hold the wisdom that she was special to more than just the two people that raised her. If it were too soon would she trade wisdom back in for innocence?
That is why he turned around and bowed out of the equation. He would give her the innocence she deserved; the fighting chance at a normal childhood free from complication. That is why he would go home and pack his things for California. He would keep in touch, but also agree to Gabriella's terms. He knew the only reason was because of grace and blue eyes.
A/N: Hello guys I know and I'm sorry. It seems like forever since I have written, but graduating college and becoming caught up in the whole Twilight craze has really made me busy. Life is pretty crazy for this person, but I have finally finished it. I am glad that you have read this story and appreciate everyone that has ever written a review or read my little story.
I don't know, but I feel as if this is it for me for awhile at least. I still have my blog though
if you want to read any other writings. It isn't stories, but it is where I write mostly.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!