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Chapter 3: Acts of Depression

Bella's P.o.V.

I awoke sweating. My breathing was fast passed and my hands shook violently. That was one of the worst nightmares I have had since… he left. It was so vivid. He looked like he was in poor agony… and so did I. It was so clear that I can still remember it:

I stood close to the edge of the cliff. Edward was about five feet away from me, afraid to move forward- afraid I would jump if he did. His appearance bewildered me. His hair was more disheveled than normal and his eyes were the blackest that I have ever seen them. His face was distorted and looked devastated. There were purple bags under both his eyes and his mouth looked like it was a permanent frown. "Bella, please don't do this! You're my life! If you die I die, I love you! Don't you understand, I was lying when I said I didn't want you. You believed me, I thought you would've put up a fight but you didn't. You just let it be but, Bella, Please believe me now! I love you!" He pleaded staring into my eyes the whole time. I was staring at his shoes as I saw one inch forward. I took a step closer to the edge- the heel of my foot now off the edge. If it was possible, his face became more distorted and he looked like he would cry if he could.

"Don't lie to me Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I can't live without you. I love you, and I always will," I whispered, knowing he could hear me as I stepped over the edge. I saw him lunge forward trying to stop me but it was too late. He dived over the edge to me.

"Please Bella!" He screamed, "I love you!"

"Good-bye Edward…" I whispered so low as my dream ended.

I sighed. I can't keep him out of me nightmares… or dreams but the nightmare… it just… got to me. He was truly devastated and I didn't know where I got that idea. Psh, like he would still love me. Plain old Bella- no, hot sexy Isabella.

I threw my legs over the side of my bed, rubbing my eyes free of sleep. My clock read 3:32. I huffed as I stood up to go to the bathroom. I turned the shower on its hottest setting and let it burn my skin. I stayed in the shower until I was shivering from the freezing water. I looked into the mirror to see myself- pale as ever with purple lips. I sighed and walked back to my room in a towel.

I immediately ran to my closet to search through clothes- going to need to go shopping soon. I rummaged through my underwear drawer and grabbed a blue lacy thong and a matching blue bra- wow. I grabbed the first skirt I saw- a jean skirt that I haven't worn since I was 13, oh well. I put it on and it barely covered my butt. I took a minute to choose a shirt finally deciding on a low cut, too short shirt. I grabbed an extremely long sweater- even though I was burning up- to cover myself until my mom dropped me off. She would definitely make me change if she saw me.

I looked at my clock and muttered a 'damn' as it read 7:15.I must've been in the shower for 3 hours!

"Bella, we have to leave!" Renee yelled up the stairs to me.

I growled, "I-s-a-b-e-l-l-a!" I sounded out.

She didn't answer. I skidded down the stairs arriving at the bottom without getting hurt. No one noticed my fall- good. I grabbed my bag and followed my mom to the car.

She started a conversation as we drove, "So, you excited?"

"Not really," I replied in monotone.

"Why not?"

"I'm just not."

She didn't say anything else the whole drive except a 'bye' as she pulled away. As soon as she was far enough away I ripped off the sweater and almost threw it at the ground. Everyone's mouth dropped. They stared in awe at me. I guess E- he wasn't lying when he said I didn't see myself clearly.

I walked- well strutted- into the office and stared at the old man behind the counter. He was ogling at my body.

"Umm… hello- I'm up here," I smiled at him as his face turned a bright red.

"You're Isabella, right?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Yes," I stretched out the's'.

He handed me a piece of paper with my schedule on it and told me what it was- like I couldn't figure that out.

I left the office and almost instantly a guy ran up to me.

"Hey, you are?" He asked.

"Isabella," I forgot, word doesn't travel as fast as in Forks.

"Oh, you're new here?"

"Yup," I said popping the 'p'.

"I'm Ethan, by the way," He added. For a second, I analyzed his appearance. He was wearing a tight blue shirt that showed off his muscles and loose fitting jeans. His electrical blue eyes seemed to paralyze me. They pulled me in- almost like…

"Ethey!" I heard a scratchy voice call across the hall. Ethan's face looked disgusted. A girl- about my age- ran up to Ethan and threw her arms around him. She was wearing a v-neck sweater to show off her non-existent cleavage and too tight skinny jeans. I suppressed a giggle as Ethan pushed her off of him.

"What's wrong, Ethan?" She asked innocently.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" I mocked letting out a giggle.

The girl sneered at me before turning to Ethan, "So… you wanna come over again tonight?" She asked.

"No, Tabitha, were over," He replied while staring me up and down.

"What?" She asked like she was about to cry then she followed his eyes to me, "Oh, it's because I'm not the sexiest girl in school anymore!?" She spit, "You're such a jerk!" then she ran away.

I burst out into a full on laugh. Everyone stared at me then joined in- wow we had created a scene… Even Ethan was laughing!

After my laughing fit was over I walked into my class but not before Ethan could call out, "Hey! Sit with me at lunch?"

"Sure," I giggled back and I could feel his eyes on- not my back- but my butt. Guys are such pigs. I sighed as I walked up to the teacher.

She gave me one look, glared, and pointed to my seat. I obliged by going to sit down next to a geeky looking girl who didn't even glance at me. I actually paid attention this class because I was in an advanced class and there were only geeks dressed in baggy clothes around. It was an English class. I noticed a seat was empty across from me and just as I saw that it was empty, a girl walked in- someone I could actually talk to. She was wearing skinny jeans and a tight shirt.

As she sat down across from me to fill the empty seat she gave me a sweet smile. I smiled back and took out a piece of paper.

I wrote:

Hey, who are you?

I passed the girl the paper and we started passing notes.

Bella, girl

I'm Melanie. Who are you? Are you new here?

Yupp, I'm new. My name's Isabella Swan.

Oh, I love your name! Wanna sit with me and my friends at lunch?

I already told this guy I would sit with him…

Oh, who?

Umm… this guy named… I think, Ethan.

Oh, my, gosh, don't sit with him! He's the school's player and he'll do anything to get in your pants. Trust me, I would no.

Why, you went out with him?

He doesn't 'go out' with anyone he just has sex with them.

Whoa! I'll no to stay away from him then!

Yeah, I would. Anyways, so, do you wanna sit with us?

Yeah!

Alright, Oh listen to this project. It actually sounds pretty fun!

After I read the paper I slipped it under my book and began listening to the teacher.

"Pen pal project," She finished a sentence that I missed, "For this project, you will write to someone from a different school. You can talk about yourself but you won't know what school you're from until we go to meet them. You'll be receiving your first letter from them Friday." Great, that's tomorrow- I hate when teachers say the day instead of just a simple tomorrow.

Did you get your pen pals assigned yet?

No, we just randomly pick one from the pile.

Oh, kay! This sounds really fun!

Just then the bell rang and everyone rushed out.

The rest of the day went by easily enough. I sat with Melanie and her friends- now my friends- and they were really nice. Ethan kept staring at me as he sat with his guy friends and Tabitha. I just laughed at that.

At the end of the day, a total of 27 guys asked me out and over 100 hit on me. This is going to be a good year.

I just can't wait to do that project!

A/N- my beta for this story is me bored inc

I don't own twilight or any of the characters

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