II.

I don't ever think I'll forget the look on Eric's face when I told him. It was the third week of September, shortly after I found out I'd passed the Bar exam. Rather than being triumphant, which I guess would have been so easy at that point, he looked so... moved. He didn't speak at first. I just felt this swell of his emotions. He smiled and nodded. Finally, about twenty minutes later, looking at me with glowing eyes, he asked if I was really sure. Yes, I really was sure. I wanted to stay with him. I didn't want to imagine him alone. I couldn't imagine the world otherwise, without our being side by side. It was the right thing to do.

I decided to pretty much do it as soon as possible. It was a really simple choice as to the timing, I thought. I was at a great point in my life, both personally and professionally, and I didn't think that it would be good to press my luck. Look at what had happened with Liesel, developing leukemia, going through the agony of all the treatments and then finally, in the end, deciding that the only way to stay with Roberto, as he wished, was to be turned. Liesel had been through the ringer. She commented all the time that she was lucky she still had hair, considering all the chemo. How strongly she had resisted, only to be turned because it was the last option. I thought that rather than risk external circumstances pushing me to make the choice, I should just actively choose to move forward with it. Besides, I didn't want Eric to feel in any way that I hadn't made the choice for him, for us. To feel that other circumstances had brought about my choice. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with Liesel's choice. But it just wasn't my style. In true Sookie fashion, if that was what I decided to do, I'd do it.

After I decided I'd do it, I did have concerns, but at this point they were really professional, since Eric and I had pretty much worked out an agreement on the personal part. Professionally, the concerns were potentially serious ones. There were instances in which turning someone vampire failed to secure some talent that the human had had. The obvious concern was my telepathy, which was necessary my work for Roberto, and still a major boon in my liaison work. Stan had been turned and not fully retained his telepathic gift. What if I could read vampires but not humans or Weres or the Fae? What if I could 'send' but not 'receive', just like Stan? I discussed it with Roberto and suggested that if things went wrong with me, that he should count on trying to use Barry for the casino. He did not seem very thrilled with the idea, but it wasn't as if I was going to change my plan because of my part-time job. Plus, part of me wondered if, after all of the years of steadily having Eric's blood, maybe the telepathy might be fine. Sometimes I glowed a bit in the dark after having only small amounts of Eric's blood. Maybe I wasn't so far from being turned after all, and since my telepathy was fine and dandy at this point, maybe it wouldn't be affected. I doubted Stan had been bound to his sire beforehand and even if he had been, he probably hadn't had a slow and steady supply of the sire's blood for years as I had.

In the very back of my mind, I thought to myself that there was always Hunter, whose gift was a secret I held closely. It would provide a very secure income for Hunter should he wish to work as a telepath. Barry and I were still pretty much it on the human telepath front in the States, at least working in the supe community. And I'd made a fortune from my work as a telepath in recent years. Roberto was my only steady job specifically as a telepath, but that was largely by choice. Roberto was very much on the up and up, gave me a contract, worked according to and within the law. I really liked Roberto and I liked working for him. In contrast, two years before I'd had a huge argument with Winston, the King of Missouri, who had summarily killed two people (a Were and a vampire) involved in a state budget extortion scheme without any legal or judicial involvement. It was a complete violation of our agreement for my services and I'd informed him that not only would I never work directly for him as a telepath again, but that he could tell his Sheriffs that they could sign any documents attesting to their promises vis a vis my future work requirements in their own blood as per a fae ritual that guaranteed a person's word or resulted in grave harm if they broke their word. Since Roberto, Stan, Eric and Joseph really didn't like Winston very much, I got away with it. Eric had been shaking his head when he heard that one but Stan just laughed. Stan got a real kick out of me at times, calling me the 'little Firebrand'. I had seldom lost my temper in the years I'd worked as a liaison or telepath within the Alliance, but when I had, it certainly made spectacular waves.

After I decided that I was going to be turned I had to tell a number of people about my decision in short order. I mostly wrote letters to friends and family, wanting them to understand my choice. I didn't tell some people in person because I didn't want any arguments or comments. Jason for instance. He got my letter and barely commented. But I had the distinct impression when I talked to him that he was planning to tell Eric off. I knew Eric could handle that just fine. I'd told everyone that I was taking three weeks off from work to have a buffer of time. A few of my regular contacts I told personally.

Of course, there were all the more frivolous details of getting prepared for being turned. Following the advice of Liesel and Pam, I made sure my hair was a length I really liked. I got waxed and had my eyebrows done. I had my nails done just the way I wanted them. I'd lost just few more pounds so I was almost a size 6. I'd lost so much weight studying for the Bar when I was so busy all the time and really bad about skipping meals. So I guessed I was ready to go. Pam said I really didn't look older than when she had first met me, almost eleven years before.

We planned that I'd just staying in bed during the big change. So I kept to a liquid diet for a few days and then fasted the day I was to be turned. I'd heard from Pam that there were frequently 'issues' with corpses. Since I wanted to awake clean and in my own bed, I figured it was easier that way.

Niall had not taken my choice as I expected. In fact, he was a little odd about it. He didn't seem at all surprised and was pretty neutral about it. He didn't make any protest, which I thought was rather out of character.

The day I was turned, I sat outside listening to the birds in the garden. I got just a light tan. Claudine came and sat with me, holding my hand. I was totally determined that I would still be able to spend time with my Fae family. Especially Claudine. I did not want them to be unsafe with me. Claudine cried, but she seemed as if she understood my choice. I reminded her of her words eight years before, when she had told me that marrying Eric and not being willing to stay with him was unkind. Those words had never left my thoughts, along with something Roberto had said to me the previous year right before Liesel agreed to be changed- that you'd be a fool to pass up a chance to stay with someone you really love. I was not unkind and I was definitely no fool.

While Claudine and I were just hanging out the day I was going to be turned, Claude called and said he'd see me in a few centuries, then chuckled and said that I would be the only vampire for whom he'd ever consider taking that silver colloid stuff. He made joking reference to the fact that being turned would be hard on me, since he'd seem more attractive than ever. He was so hard to take. Niall couldn't come that day, but Claudine said that he would come to see me when I had turned. I wondered about whether he really would. But she seemed very sure. She said after he had checked things out that she'd meet me and we'd go shopping and things just like before. She didn't like coming to the New Orleans compound at night for obvious reasons but she said she'd meet me and go places with me as soon as things were safe. It left me feeling hopeful.


Eric and I made love that last time with me as a warm human and I tried to relax and not think about what was coming after but it just was impossible. I was nervous and could barely relax. In the candlelight, his eyes glowed as he asked me if I was ready. I nodded and he seated himself behind me and brushed my hair away from my neck. He crossed my arms across my waist, and then pinned his arms over mine. While my heart pounded so strongly that I was surprised I couldn't hear it echoing through the room, Eric said quietly,

"It's natural to struggle at the very end. So I'm going to hold you very tightly, alright? It's going to be fine. Try to think of that when you're panicking. Because you're going to panic at some point. But you're safe and everything will be fine. Just trust me that it's going to be fine."

I nodded, with my heart still pounding, and closed my eyes.

"You're really sure, Sookie?"

I nodded again, eyes still closed.

And then he somehow managed to raise me slightly, even though I was still pinned by his arms, and he latched onto my neck. I gasped but not exactly in pain. The sensation was different from other times, not just in the length of his drawing on my blood, but something in the manner of it. It was like there was magic in his very intent. Even though he was drawing my blood, his hands caressed my sides, as if trying to soothe me. It seemed to go on and on, of course much longer than anything I'd ever experienced and I finally began to feel very weak, my heart slowing, my brain panicking, just as Eric had predicted. I began to struggle and cry out, and tears streamed down my face, but still he went on. I tried to remember what he said, that I had to just trust him. Trust him… But it was hard. It began to really hurt, and finally near the end I was so lightheaded, almost feeling the way you feel when you have a really high fever and nothing makes sense. It was quickly beyond delirium. Then he was murmuring something to me, his face above mine, with his bleeding wrist, pressed to my mouth. Drink, I thought he said. Drink. He loved me, I would sleep. Sleep…. His voice echoed in my head. I had never felt so weak in my entire life. My heart seemed so… loud, but… so… slow. Then still slower… and… slower… And then, finally, I was… gone.


He gently cleaned the area at her neck and stared down at her. It had been more than a hundred and fifty years since he had turned someone. It was absurdly unsettling to look at her there and to think she was dead. So beautiful, yet so soft and still. He would miss her warmth, but would gain her eternal companionship. He smiled while looking down at her. Perhaps she would be ever so slightly more manageable this way, though he had every intention of being judicious. He had enjoyed her feistiness so much in life and felt no need to change her in death. He was supremely happy. It had taken years. He had been confident that he could convince her and he finally had. And there had been so little opposition from her family. The Fae part, that is. Jason had told him off after receiving her letter, but there was not any reason to bother her with anything Jason had to say to him. Anyway, with his third marriage falling apart, Sookie was rather impatient with Jason these days and not likely to put much store into his opposition.

He lifted her and put her nightgown over her head and worked it over her arms, then shifted her position in the bed so that she was prone and he could wrap her in the sheets and comforter. He stroked her hair and her cheek. She would awaken in three days time ravenous and cold. He settled down next to her in the bed with his book, awaiting the dawn.

About ten minutes before dawn, he heard a knocking on the panel covering the metal door that separated the secure room from the regular bedroom area. He rose and queried who was there through the communication panel, only to find it was Pam. He opened the door, to which even she did not have access, and let her come in. Dressed in a nightgown and robe, she nodded deferentially and then walked over to the bed and looked at her. She sat down and took her hand, her eyes filling with tears that spilled over.

"I just can't believe it." She leaned over and took her cold, stiffening hand, her pink tears splashing down onto the sheets and comforter. She turned to Eric and said,

"I still worry Eric. She was so… unique. I really hope it will be okay. I feel unsettled somehow."

"You've got to be kidding. She'll be fine, Pam. To the very last she agreed. Her choice."

She stood up and kissed her friend's cheek, and then placed her arm carefully back at her side under the comforter. She nodded to him and went back out. After sealing the door, he got back into the bed and with a gentle glance toward his dead lover and wife, took up his book to read a little longer.

He smiled as he read.