Azazeal couldn't sleep so he carefully crept out of bed and sat in the armchair next to the bed. He liked watching Cassie sleep. There was something exceedingly comforting in watching over her in this vulnerable and yet untroubled state. Sometimes he felt like he accomplished more in this act of loving watchfulness than in a weeks worth of other endeavors.

An hour later Cassie woke and turned to him groggily, "How long have you been there?"

"Not long."

"Come back to bed."

Azazeal rose and she watched him as he slipped into bed next to her. She draped herself over him, worrying that he was cold and he smiled to himself at her sleepy concern. She snuggled close and was asleep again quickly. He was happily trapped, her limbs binding him to her, but he did not drift off to sleep again for while longer. Azazeal half closed his eyes and let the feeling that was an angel again, her angel, spread through him as he lay next to her. It was in a strange, unfamiliar way, but it was as true as the love between them was strong.

--

He had been weak, so weak, when they had first met but he had noticed her feisty nature and it had intrigued him. But he had seen similar before so it wasn't until she had the nerve to get attracted to that boy, Troy, while he was working his charm on her that he realized what a challenge she was going to be. No one ignores Azazeal, that's why he was chosen for this mission. There were angels who were more handsome, more caring, more horny, and even more lovable, but none of the fallen angels were as magnetic or had the understanding of human nature that Azazeal did. Who better to fulfill the prophecy and free them all?

It did bring a sly smile to his face when he thought about the fact that all of those stories and movies about the devil having a child were about him and the legend that he'd left behind. He wondered what these humans would have thought if they knew that Lucifer was just a bully, who had fucked women like a manic, but was not capable of the skillful planning and execution that it really took to produce a half-angel, half-human capable of bring about the End of Days. He had carried the hopes of all of the fallen on his shoulders, which is why he didn't take any crap from anyone.

His followers were fiercely loyal to him, even when he got a bit nasty, and they were not just a rag-tag group of angels with no one to look up to but him. They loved him and had even managed to believe in him for hundreds of years as he fumbled about while they were miserably occupied with feeling sorry for themselves and trying not to be noticed by Lucifer. But none of them had truly understood the challenges that he had faced and how this experience had damaged him more and more with each botched attempt.

It had hurt him a little each time he had lost a woman to death or madness and not just because it was yet another failure to add to his resume. He had loved them all, in a way, if only for a few minutes. He knew the difference between violence for the sake of their war and the death of an innocent woman, though the same could not be said for many of the others. He had learned to push these feelings down and focus on the task at hand, he could be as vicious and cruel the situation warranted, but he was not made for the same blind service as some of the others had been. He had been intended to guide and protect humans and had ultimately been thrown out of heaven for getting too attached to these beautiful women, so to say that this mission had been hard on him was an understatement.

None of the fallen had understood what it felt like to give a little piece of yourself in order to create another living being and he had done it over and over again. Of course, after the first time, he'd taught himself to only release as much as was needed and no more, in order to spare himself from the overwhelmingly exposed feeling that occurred if he didn't control it. It hadn't caused him to spout angelic or anything but it was definitely a more intense feeling than resulted from yer regular ol' orgasm. Cassie, however, she had been different. The possession had given her a daring confidence and fearlessness that…had taken him by surprise. It had felt as if she had grabbed hold of him and pulled him out into the open where he could not hide himself. She'd surprised herself too but in that moment, he had seen it in her eyes and he looked down at her in shock, her head had been clear enough for her to understand, at least in part, that he was not a beast. He was not exactly what he appeared to be, this carefully cultivated image of masculine sexuality and ruthlessness. He was powerful, yes, but he was not evil and not without feeling. She had softened to him then and it had been a long time since anyone had known him and accepted him.

Her seeing him like that and taking more from him than he had intended to give was enough to explain why he had stayed with her that night, holding her against his naked body until morning and why he'd returned a few days later with hopes of rekindling their passion, but what he hadn't expected was that he would hold on so tightly to the experience even after she so heartlessly rejected him. But she hadn't known that when she had rejected him, she had rejected more than just his devious plan…how could she have?

He should have known better. He knew how strong women could be, he had seen them give up something they wanted when they thought it was for the best or the greater good. And he'd seen men confused by this before and had even laughed at them. Humans were all so adorably predictable with their little patterns and precious games, but it was all very different when he was the one in the middle of it and it was his heart that was trying to understand. So he had tried to let it go, he didn't need her to love him to have his child, but he had found himself in her room making tea, scheming to make her jealous by sleeping with her teacher while telling himself that it was a strategic move, and bringing her flowers in the hospital. His mission was too engrained in him for these visits to not include aspects aimed at securing the birth of the child, but behind each was a reserved hopefulness that maybe she would soften again…but she hadn't.

And then after he had secured the child's safety, she'd come to him, to him and their son and he'd fallen easily for her ruse because he had missed her. She had taken Malachi and he had been angry, very angry, but he knew Ella was behind it all so he had not allowed himself consider that Cassie would let their son be killed. When Cassie had saved Malachi, just barely, he knew that there was only an inkling of feeling for him in it, but he was still thankful. Thankful, enough that when she had stayed with them, he could not bring himself to do anything but protect her and Malachi because that was where his worth in her eyes could be found.

When the decision to fight the End of Days had been made, he had though his life with them would be over. He might be able to hold Lucifer off for quite a while but Lucifer eventually would win, like he always did, but at least Cassie and Malachi could be safe and he would have done something worthwhile. Ella would protect them, well Cassie at least, and he had left some of his fiercest angels behind as well.

And it had been torture and it would have lasted forever, but Malachi…tempestuous Malachi, had saved not only him, but all of his kind in one fell swoop.

And thus began his own path to happiness that he had quietly walked down hoping not to be forced to turn around. It had been a trial for him, and while many of the lower angels, when they had found their mate or some occupation that fulfilled them, had just accepted it and gratefully abandoned themselves to the feeling of contentment, Azazeal had not trusted that he would remain worthy of it, and so would not allow himself to believe that she would ever really need him. Even though he had known more clearly than all of the angels that humans think of failure differently, as they are flawed themselves, until more recently, it sadly would have destroyed him but not surprised him if she had judged him as of no use to her and thrown him away. He thought now that it had always only been a matter of time before she would understand him and coax from him the trust that it took to overcome his fear being branded as corrupted again and not being given a chance to make amends.

It had been hard for him because he had long ago convinced himself that he would never feel this way again. He would never find real love not to mention love that felt so close to…the divine. Of course, he now knew that this self-deception in order to protect himself was what had kept him from finding this much earlier. He had so hoped, in his fear of wanting what he thought he could not have, that Cassie's love for him and his love for her would be enough, but it wasn't. All of his arrogance and stubbornness was just a shield to help him believe that he didn't want to be needed by Cassie in a way that might…just might…but that would be a dream…make him feel like an angel again. Thank goodness he was wrong!

He couldn't exactly put his finger on what it was about Cassie that effected him so deeply, but not knowing gave it an exquisitely profound quality that he had no interest in damaging and reason had never had anything to do with loving as strong as he did. Cassie had bewitched him completely and he loved her as he'd loved no other woman. There had been Herath, but he'd been so eager to fulfill his mission then, and like all legendary first loves that end dramatically and reach mythological status, their true merits can no longer be accurately measured.

Cassie was everything now. She understood and he trusted and, as was becoming common in the stories of many of the angels, he found with her the kind of love that felt like home.

--

Cassie woke in the early morning and turned over to see Azazeal, sound asleep, barely covered with a sheet that fell just below his hips and left his entire back exposed.

"Isn't he cold?" She thought to herself and then remembered last night and the smile she'd caught on his lips at her concern. She just couldn't help looking after him now because his need for approval brought out a nurturing side and seemed to include a wifely fussiness as well.

She wanted to softly run the back of her hand along his back, but she did not. Instead, she marveled at his perfectly unscarred skin and recalled how painfully marked it had been when he had let Lucifer torture him instead of giving up Malachi. That had been her first hint at his true nature, but it had taken her a while to figure everything out. But she had been young, she still was, but so much had happened since then, that now she felt like a wise old woman…and maybe she was inside.

--

Each angel was different and had their own unique set of problems. Some had been made primarily to respond, to give, to express themselves, while others were meant to do, to act, to understand. Azazeal was one of the later. His flaw lay in the fact that he understood human nature and had been given empathy to aid in this understanding, however he was woefully lacking in the ability to express himself emotionally on our level. Cassie thought of him as somehow being eternally trapped as an adolescent boy who is full of newfound feeling and passion but has no idea how to express it yet, how to translate it and share it with others. Hence, the translation of his feelings mainly into productive actions rather than flattery, adoring looks, meaningful speeches, or extravagant gifts. He had never given her a living horse statue or shamelessly worshiped her in front of everyone, but time after time he had put her and their children in front of himself in subtle ways that she was discovering daily. He had, of course, defied Lucifer, fiercely protected their family, and had been willing to give her up rather than damn her eternally by making her immortal, but there were many other smaller ways that she noticed now in which he acted for their benefit.

But he was not incapable of communicating his love to her on a more elegant level, it was just that she had to learn how to feel it and recognize it for what it was. He had always been caring, affectionate, and protective to a fault, but when it came to deep emotion the only thing he knew was angelic adoration. Cassie had, for a time, not understood its full function in their relationship, waiting for more outward expressions because she could always see his feelings for her just under the surface, as if about to leap out at any time, but they never really did. She had, however, learned to appreciate, and even value, the exquisite contrast between the confident and controlled Azazeal of everyday life and the passionately expressive and enthusiastically grateful angel who basked in her acceptance. If she had realized this earlier it might not have taken her so long to understand his need to be useful and have purpose, but what's done is done and she had a handle on it now.

It was strange for Cassie to think back to those early days when Azazeal was merely an annoying supernatural distraction that she had tried to ignore and then to defeat. He was so different from that person and yet it was definitely the same being. She felt sorry for him that he had had to live in such anger for so long, because he was so happy and loving now. The difference was striking but it made her feel proud that she had been part of this transformation and that all of the fallen angels had been able to find similar peace.

Cassie would eventually become a part-time art teacher at Mendham for a number of years before moving on to other pursuits. Azazeal would drop her off and pick her up each day, even though she could travel herself, and would sometimes make a clandestine return to watch her teach her classes. They still carried on their work to improve the world and the human condition, but with Azazeal's trust in her had come the realization that he didn't need to be constantly occupied as his purpose was simply being with her. They did not have any more children but Malachi and Sara were enough for any parents to handle and they might not have any more pride to spread around given how pleased they were with both of them (most of the time).

Cassie and Azazeal remained as hopelessly in love as they had always wanted to be and were a shining example for those angels who took even longer to find their peace. Their love was an endearing one and, while everyone could see how they adored one another, the pyrotechnics (and there were some astounding displays) were reserved for their private time together.

--

Cassie finally gave in to her urge to touch him and traced a finger along the crease in his back. He stirred and turned to her with a sexy smile as if he'd been waiting for her to stop starring at him and touch him. He skillfully rolled her on her back, rising up over her, and initiated a steamy kiss that left her breathless.

She playfully pushed him off, the covers falling off of them both, but instead of reversing their position, she remained next to him and guided his own hand to the part of himself that had so recently been brushing against her inner thighs. He gave her a slight wicked grin and did what she so clearly intended him to do with this hand, not really being prepared for how exciting this would be since he rarely had occasion to touch himself this way. His lids dropped closed and he was not timid about taking her suggestion, but she eventually stopped him dragging him back from the edge. She leaned on her elbow, considering him, then finally pulling his hand completely away and replacing it with her own, she kissed him and in his abandon he tried to keep her mouth on his, but she teased him.

"Is there to be no mercy for me?" he breathed.

"I want you to show me," she said.

That was all that she said, but he knew what she wanted. In the blink of an eye, his wings were spread out underneath him and she did not hesitate to run her fingers across them, though it immediately sent shivers through his frame. Reflexively he wrapped them around her, pulling her on top of him, and it was deliciously decadent to feel them against the full length of her body, but he was already done for. He whispered, "I love you" and the rest was a stream of angelic, his whole being adoring her, and their bodies entangled in the act of love until they rested satisfied in each others arms again.

Azazeal's love was comforting to Cassie because it was so strong and reassuring, not just admiring, and once she had discovered where he had been keeping his deepest feelings for her, she liked to roll around in them as much as possible. He sometimes had this way, Cassie adored, of slipping into "that place" and just sort of hovering there as they made love, rather than fighting it off until his release swept him there anyway. When he did this it felt like he was everywhere, all around her, and there were swells of love and devotion and delight and passion that crashed against her senses and intensified the physical sensations. They were both overtaken with these emotions and sensations filling and emptying and filling them again, but she knew, she could tell when she looked in his eyes afterwards, that there was still more, much more, when she was ready.