"He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back…
…Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you"
A Fine Frenzy ("Near To You")
Tears threaten to pour from Lindsay's eyes. She knows that she needs to talk to someone before she breaks down. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. She can't keep living her life as a shell of her former self. She can't keep alienating her friends, her co-workers, her family. She can't keep jeopardizing the integrity of the lab. She takes a deep breath and looks up into her friend's kind, caring blue eyes. His brows are furrowed in concern as he reaches out and pats her hand.
She wonders where to begin. Does she begin with the moment she first laid eyes on the cocky Long Island boy? Or does she start with the night they first slept together? Or perhaps the night Ruben Sandoval died? Should she tell Don about the tongue lashing she had given Danny days earlier? What about when she realized when she had fallen in love with him? Did it matter? It's all over anyway.
Wasn't it? She had told him that she had fallen in love with him and now she was going to figure out how to let it go. He had made no movement after she said that. He had said nothing in return. He was silent. He looked… pained. Her heart stopped and dropped to her toes. Her mouth went gone dry, her throat closed, her eyes began to tear. But she would not give him the satisfaction. She would not let him see her this vulnerable. She left the room and has refused to speak to him since, though he has tried to talk to her on numerous occasions.
But she can't do it. She avoids him. She steers conversations back towards the case they are working on. She can't hear what he has to say to her otherwise. She can't hear what he has to say about what has happened between them. It would make their break up all too real then.
But was he ever really hers to begin with she wonders. They had never made any promises that they would be exclusive, that they would be faithful. Though she knew that she was. She looked forward to all of their time together. She loved every moment spent with him. But did he feel the same way? Of course not, she thinks. Or else he would be here and not Don.
Her head swirls. Her body involuntarily shakes. She bites her lip as the tears she has been holding in for the last week finally fall. Don wraps his arms around her. Just talk to me, Linds, he murmurs softly as he rubs her back while she sobs into his shoulder. Just let it all out. I'm your friend too. I'm here for you.