Chapter 5:

'I wonder what's going on...?'

Kakashi thought watching his students.

Sakura wouldn't stop glaring at Naruto and would beat him up way more than the usual. Naruto was training harder he had ever before doing crazy shit he should never even attempt. But the weirdest was the fact that Sai wouldn't stop drawing Ino instead of the beasts for his jutsus.

"..." Kakashi sliently walked to where he was going to train with them.

"Hi kids! Sorry, I'm late." Kakashi said smiling. "I got lost on the thought of legalizing gay marriage and started wandering."

"...What's your thought on it Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Well, since gay marriage may be okay, but gay sex is disgusting." Kakashi said smiling. (I apologize to all I offend.) "I mean women exist so we might as well use them, that's one of the principle's in the series 'Icha-icha Paradise'."

"Do you only think of women as toys!?" Sakura shouted angrily. 'Jiraya is SUCH a bastard.'

'Looking at Sakura's reaction, I probably shouldn't say anything similar to that to Ino then.' Sai inferred as he finished his 20th drawing of Ino.

'Whoops...' Naruto thought blushing a little. (Don't EVEN ask what happened there!)

"Well anyway, I wanted to discuss something." Kakashi said keeping his priceless smile. "You guys are all starting to do crazy stuff and it's only been 3 days so far. What's wrong with you people?"

"Well, this new kid came to Konoha, and he's been staying at my house for 3 days now." Sakura said.

'You let guys in your room that easily?"

"He was in trouble! Plus I can take care of myself!" Sakura shouted.

"Tobi helped me do some stuff." Naruto said. "Then Sai screwed it up for all of us."

"Tobi helped me with getting a girl friend." Sai said. "I also learned how to love." Sai said smiling.

"...So who's this 'Tobi' person?" Kakashi asked crossing his arms.

"Some kid who wears a mask who came so he could be loved or something." They all answered in unison.

"Sakura, did he attack you yet?" Kakashi asked her.

"N-NO!!"

'Knowning most people, they would've already attacked her if they had planned on it.' Kakashi thought.

"You guys train by yourself today. I'm going to check this Tobi guy out. What does he look like?"

"He wears an orange mask. He's pretty easy to find." They said.

'Orange mask...?' Kakashi thought.

'Hey, that's him.' Kakashi found him after about 15 minutes of endless wandering.

"...Are you Tobi?" Kakashi asked the suppoused Tobi.

"How do you know Tobi's name? Is Tobi famous?" Tobi asked the man who had called his name.

"No, you're not famous." Kakashi said.

"How do you know Tobi then?" Tobi asked.

"I'm Naruto, Sakura, and Sai's teacher and you have changed my students forever." Kakashi said.

"Oh." Tobi said. "What's your name?"

"Kakashi."

"Okay, do love me?"

"You think Kakashi will be okay with Tobi?" Naruto asked Sakura.

"I don't know, he's a little weird but he's not bad." Sakura replied.

"...It would be funny to see what Tobi will do to get Kakashi to love him." Sai said.

"It would be." Sakura agreed.

"Let's go see then!" Naruto shouted.

"But that would be skipping training." Sakura said.

"No, spying is part of a ninja's job so it would be good practice." Naruto said winking.

'I see.' Sakura thought.

"Why don't we go then?" Sai said and started to get up.

The rest of them followed.

This was going to be fun.

"...What?" Kakashi asked making sure he had heard correctly.

"Do you love Tobi?" Tobi asked again.

"..." Kakashi didn't know how to respond.

"Tobi wants to be loved by everyone!" Tobi explained.

"...What're you? A pimp wannabe or something?" Kakashi asked.

"Pimp? Tobi doesn't understand."

'Oh...he's thinking of that kind of love.' Kakashi thought finally understanding.

"Tsk, tsk. The love you're thinking of is a pitiful love. You need to learn about true love, Tobi." Kakashi said shaking his pointer finger back and forth.

"True love? Oh, you mean like the one I have with--!" Tobi covered his mouth, or where his mouth would've been if he wasn't wearing his mask. Kakashi looked at him suspiciously. 'Darn! I'm not suppoused to say anything! Please don't susperct anything!' Tobi silently prayed in his mind. Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, so you have a secret lover, eh?" Kakashi said smriking. "That's a good one." Kakashi chuckled.

"Well, let me tell you, people have to have a reason to love you. They can't just randomly start loving people for no reason."

"Reason." Tobi thought about it. 'Why would anyone love me? I could ask Deidara-san but I won't see him for a while. I could ask Naruto, Sakura, or Sai-kun if I wanted to...' Tobi thought long and hard.

"...For example, do something nice to them." Kakashi suggested. "...Something they want you to do may be a better way to phrase it..." Kakashi added thinking.

"...So you're saying..." Tobi said.

Kakashi winked and nodded.

"I should be your sex slave!" Tobi said. (DEIDARA! COME BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!)

"...Where'd you get that?"

"It says, 'Be my Sex Slave' on the back of your book." Tobi said pointing to the back, and sure enough, it was written under the little picture in the back.

"Nah, don't. You shouldn't do that." Kakashi said shaking his head. "Don't you have a secret lover anyway?"

"Yes I do." Tobi said. He didn't really understand what a 'Secret Lover' was. He just assumed that if you loved some one they were your 'Secret Lover' or something.

"Well, how about this, I'll teach you everything I know about love, then you help me get special information on the next book of 'Icha-icha Paradise'! Deal?"

"Deal!"

"Ahhh! His innocence! At this rate I won't be able to let him in my house!" Sakura said watching from behind some bushes.

"You can hear what they're saying? I can't at all." Naruto said watching them.

"It doesn't matter if you can hear, what matters is that we keep Tobi's mind innocent so he doesn't learn about (beep) and try to (beep) me in my sleep!" Sakura said getting up.

"Is that what lovers do?" Sai asked.

"Oh god, please don't even think about doing that to Ino." Sakura said glaring at Sai, "Anyway get up so we can stop this!"

"Aw, let's listen, I might learn a thing or two." Naruto said following them.

Sakura punched him in the face.

"You know too much already!" Sakura shouted.

"Women really are dangerous creatures." Sai said smiling. "Kakashi was right."

"Did you say something?" Kakashi asked Tobi.

"No, I think that was some one else back there." Tobi said looking back.

"Oh well." Kakashi said looking ahead again.

"So, where are we going?" Tobi asked curiously.

"First stop, the hot springs!" Kakashi said pointing to the hot springs.

"There's a 'Konyoku' inside that we can go in." Kakashi explained. (Konyoku- Unisex public bath, not too popular in Japan but does exist.)

"No! If Tobi sees naked women he'll want to see more, and chances are he'll go for me first!" Sakura said.

"Why would he go after you?" Naruto asked. "Even Hinata has a better body than you, you know?" Naruto said looking at Sakura's flat chest.

"He has a point." Sai also added.

BAM!

BAM!

Sakura stomped off leaving 2 guys on the ground almost knocked out.

She went to the ticked counter where a lady was sitting watching Kakashi and Tobi, wondering if they were going to come in or not. Sakura budged inside and grabbed the microphone.

"Excuse Me!? What're you doing?" The lady looked shocked.

Sakura ducked under the desk with the microphone.

"Apologies to all our guests but the 'Konyoku' will be closed today due to technical problems." Sakura announced in the microphone ignoring the stunned lady. "Again, Very Sorry!" Sakura said and as soon as she was sure that Kakashi and Tobi had left, got up, gave the microphone back to the lady, and followed them to make sure that they wouldn't do any more perverted things that Kakashi had on his mind.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-san, you looked excited to go to the 'Konyoku'." Tobi said.

"Nah, no big deal. Just unlucky I guess." Kakashi said brushing it off. Now, why don't we go to the bar!"

"Bar? Like those stick-ish things? Where are they?" Tobi asked.

"No, it's a place where you get to drink the good stuff while watching the good stuff." Kakashi said.

"Tobi doesn't get it but Tobi will go anyway." Tobi said and followed Kakashi to the bar.

'A bar!? You've got to be kidding me Kakashi! He'll make me do a lap dance once he's done with that!' Sakura thought.

"...Hey, Naruto where are you going?" Sakura asked Naruto who froze.

"J-Just going to the bathroom!" Naruto said.

"Oh, Naruto, if you're going to the bar, like you probably are anyway, will you bring me with you? I've never been to one." Sai interrupted and smiled at Naruto who would of killed him right there is Sakura hadn't gotten to him first.

Soon, Naruto was on the floor.

"How you feeling?" Sai asked Naruto.

Naruto just silently glared at him and didn't say anything.

'How can I stop this!?' Sakura grabbed her hair. 'There was no way in hell I was going in there, and even if I sent Naruto, he'd just starting getting drunk and banging chicks or something. Sai wouldn't know what to do even if you explained it to him.' Sakura glanced over at the 2 again. 'SHIT! They've already gone inside!'

"This place smells bad." Tobi commented.

"You'll get used to it." Kakashi said. "I did." He added.

He paid the guy up front. The guy looked over at Tobi.

"New comer?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Welcome." He smiled and went back to work.

"Your welcome."

They got 3 glamourous chicks to come to them. Kakashi was having fun instantly, but Tobi just sat there. He greeted the girls, but when they kept messing with him, he got uncomftorable and started to squirm.

'What do they want from me?' Tobi thought. He glanced at Kakashi who was just enjoying the chicks. Kakashi looked at him.

"Not having fun?" Kakashi asked.

"...No." Tobi finally said.

"C'mon, you have a secret lover don't you? You can't be uncomftorable with women."

"But, De-, he's a guy." Tobi finally said.

The girls got off him in a matter of a second and looked at him disgusted.

"Oh, I see. Well bad news for you, there aren't any male bars here. Tsunade closed it. You'd need to go to Suna, it's Gaara's favorite place." (o.O)

He got up.

"One more thing to do and we'll be done." Kakashi said.

He pointed his finger toward the exit.

"The bookstore!" He shouted.

Sakura sighed in relief for a moment, then paused and realized what had just happened.

'...A gay guy, A GAY GUY, in my house!?' Sakura thought. 'I mean I know he won't mess with me but still, that's kind of creepy.' Sakura thought.

Naruto on the other hand was laughing hysterically. He was crying from his laughter as he rolled on the floor mumbling words like, "gay" and "in Sakura's house" between breaths.

Sai was too busy researching the word gay in his dictionary to care about what Naruto was doing, or he would've found a way to make him shut up.

'But wait...' Sakura's eyes opened wider in horror.

"...Guys!? To the bookstore!" She shouted and started to run toward the bookstore with Naruto and Sai behind her.

'Maybe I should go see Ino if we're not going to train today...' Sai thought looking at his watch but decided to keep on following just for the heck of it.

"Here we are!" Kakashi said smiling.

"Oh boy!" Tobi said getting excited.

They entered the bookstore together, the owner didn't bother them knowing that Kakashi was old enough and because Tobi looked old enough. Kakashi walked over to the back of the bookstore where only older people were allowed to go into.

"Here." Kakashi opened a magazine and showed it to Tobi.

"Do you like any of these guys?"

"Aw, Tobi's so lucky." Naruto said watching them enter the back of the bookstore.

"Oh god..." Sakura thought aloud.

"...Tobi's going to be scarred for life. We should've never let Kakashi meet him. I should've known that Kakashi would screw him up." Sakura said leaning her forehead on her hand.

"...Tobi doesn't like any of them."

"Hm?"

"Tobi loves De--, my 'Secret Lover' and only my 'Secret Lover'." Tobi said looking straight up at Kakashi.

"..." Kakashi put a hand on Tobi's shoulder.

"Good job Tobi. That's true love. What you had just then is true love. With that, I promise you, you can get anyone to love you." Kakashi said and winked.

"T-Thank you Kakashi-san!" Tobi said smiling.

"Let's go before something happens." Kakashi said helping Tobi out with him.

"Oh yeah! What about getting you that book...!"

"It's alright Tobi, I love you." Kakashi said.

"They're coming out!" Sakura watched them carefully. From just looking, nothing seemed wrong. Sakura sighed a sigh of relief.

"I wouldn't be relieved too early if I was you. I mean, even if nothing too bad happened, he's still gay." Sai reminded Sakura.

"Still, he's nice. And I trust him." Sakura said smiling.

"Me too." Naruto grinned.

Sai shrugged. "I'm going to see Ino, so excuse me." Sai got up.

"Oh, I need to see Iruka-sensei for ramen!" Naruto said and ran to Ichiraku Ramen.

'I should hurry home.' Sakura thought and went back home to greet Tobi with a big meal.

Super long Chapter. (Hope that didn't bother you...)

Hope it was funny, I tired my best.

Review please! Tobi is ONLY loved by 42 people! More! More!

Next is Team 8 if you're curious. (o.O)

There was a little explicit content...

Oh yeah, vote please! XD