WARNING: Due to Natume's immaturity, this chapter mentions many things that should NOT be mentioned in public. Reader discretion advised.

Chapter 11:

There has been a disease, quite well-known in Konoha that has poisoned the minds of two men, making them inseparable and insane. Not to mention the two people in their team that might as well have caught the disease if it wasn't for the making of Viagra a few years back.

Our hero, Tobi will come across this terrible epidemic, and only the author knows if he will survive.

Tobi was walking around the streets of Konoha, sniffling as he went.

"Tobi is getting cold." Tobi said to himself, driving a few Konoha people away from him. Then, Tobi looked up as he heard footsteps running toward him. Two, actually, in succession.

"IS THAT A SICKNESS I HEAR???" A boy that Deidara would describe as "insane enough to make Tobi look normal."

"WHY YES IT IS, MY DEAR LEE!!!" A few steps behind, a bigger version of the boy Lee ran up, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, positioned right below what looked to Tobi like strips of sea weed.

"SICKNESS IS NOT GOOD! IT DISRUPTS THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH RUNNING THROUGH YOUR VEINS!" Lee ran over and clutched Tobi's hands, crying as did some cheesy superstars when meeting AIDS patients, that honestly the superstars only talked to for the image anyway. (Note: It's the truth my friends, Hollywood is an evil place.)

"YES, WE HAVE COME ACROSS A PERSON SORRIER THAN ME A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO!" This, for one reason or another, caught Tobi's attention. While being dragged along by the two in green, he asked,

"What happened to you a couple of years ago?"

The older man sighed. "It's a sad story that often refuses to let me sleep some nights." His voice finally returned to that of a normal human being's volume. "But I will tell it to you my friend..." He paused, looking at him, knowing that most people would take the hint and mention their name, but Tobi was unaware, waiting excitedly for the story, hoping that meant that he would be trusted enough to be loved soon.

"Well, before the story, how about introductions?" Lee interrupted, noticing the older's dilemma. He stood up tall and proudly and pointed a finger at himself, "My name is..." He paused for the effect, "ROCK LEE!"

"AND I AM HIS TEACHER, THE BEST OF ALL TEACHERS IN KONOHA, MAITO GAI!!!!" Gai pushed his hips to one side, posed on a rock, and put his arms in the air with his thumb up in the air.

"Tobi is Tobi!" Tobi said excitedly, riding on their enthusiasm.

"TOBI, YOU KNOW THAT'S THE NAME OF THOSE BLASTED AMERICANS THAT ALWAYS KEEP MAKING FUN OF US?" Lee asked Gai.

"YES, BUT SON, IT IS SPELLED 'TOBI'. AMERICANS SPELL IT 'TOBY' SO I'M SURE HE IS NOT THE ENEMY."

"Americans? Enemy?" Tobi asked, lost yet again.

Gai lowered himself to one knee. "YES, AMERICANS. LIKE NARUTO WHO KEEPS CALLING MY BEAUTIFUL SON 'GEJIMAYU' OR FUZZY EYEBROWS."

"Naruto is american? Tobi didn't know."

"ALL AMERICANS ARE BLOND WITH BLUE EYES!!! BUT WITH THE RECENT AMOUNT OF IMMIGRANTS, IT HAS BEEN HARD TO TELL THE ENEMY." Gai turned to Tobi with a look of agony on his face. "EVEN YOU, COULD BE THE ENEMY!!!!"

"Is that what happened a few years ago?"

"Ah, yes the story. Well here it goes..." Gai lowered his voice.

Once upon a time, a vivacious man at the age of 28 was prancing around the training field, hitting dolls of Kakashi as he went, chuckling at the memory of Kakashi waking up yesterday morning with body aching everywhere.

"Oh, hey Gai." Gai looked over his shoulder to see Tsunade watching him.

"Hello Tsunade-senpai!" Gai responded, saluting her.

She swayed toward him unsteadily and when she got close enough, Gai realized she was drunk.

"Heeeyyyaaa Gaaaiii. IIII feeel greeaaat." She came over, holding an empty bottle of sake. She slumped over onto Gai, her arms around his shoulders. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were half open. "Sooo greeeaat."

"Tsunade-senpai?" Gai asked unsure.

"Shhh." She said quietly and shut him up with her lips.

"Oh, maybe this part isn't appropriate for children your ages." Gai interrupted the story looking at Tobi and Lee.

"Gai-sensei told me that putting your lips together is called a 'kiss,' and it's supposedly great." Lee whispered. "I want to share one with Sakura-san..."

"Oh, like what Deidara-senpai did to Tobi when he was on valium that time we had to reattach his arm."

"You mean you've shared one with someone!?" Lee looked shocked. When Tobi nodded, Lee sulked, "So I am a loser..."

"Ahem," Gai resumed, "We'll skip the next few minutes that happen to be the greatest and worst moments of my life."

"Whaaat thee heeeell!?" Tsunade glared at Gai angrily. "It's soooft! Yooouuu dooon't liike meee, huuuh!?"

Gai stared confused.

"IIII kneeew iiit! IIII aaaam geeetting tooo oooold!" Tsunade put her face in her hands and started crying, muttering things not understandable. Then she stumbled up and staggered away, leaving Gai on his own.

"And that's what happened kids." Gai said. "So anyway, being confused, I asked Sarutobi-sensei." Gai chuckled at the memory. "He sent me to the hospital to get checked up, and there I saw Tsunade again. She prescribed me to Viagra, and now I am a healthy man." Gai thumped his fist to his chest proudly.

The two were silent in awe.

"Kids, what I had was a disease and I hope you never get it. It takes out a lot of FUN in life." He chuckled.

"Yeah, doesn't change the fact that you're still a virgin." Kakashi added passing by.

"DAMN IT KAKASHI!!!" Gai yelled as he forgot Lee and Tobi and ran after Kakashi.

"Viva Viagra!" Kakashi sang before he ran away from a dangerously close Gai.

Haha, I've grown a bit since my last chapter and gotten more and more immature. Guess this is what high school does to you.

Anyway, I wrapped Gai and Lee up into one chapter and the next will be Tenten.

Sorry for not updating, I've been kinda busy! ;)

And if you don't get this chapter, your parents obviously don't want you to, so don't ask.