Amber Memories, Forgotten

-With Eyes Gazing into Yours-

A/N: Longest chapter so far, and I don't know if you would agree my view on how Tyki as a human would react in such circumstances, but I hope you'd enjoy it even though i found my first section soundign unlike me- really didn't know what happened when i wrote it. oops but do enjoy(:

A clown could only laugh that much.

Lies could only last that long.

Will you ever regret doing all this for me even if it had been all full of deception?

I never would have, as it had been most humane to feel this way.

I'm sorry if you had, Aki.

"That's really pretty," marveled Ezzz as he sat next to the small flame. It was made by just pieces of twigs and branches that had been lighted up with a simple match, yet the color it gave off was splendid. "Ezzz doesn't get to have flames that change from green to orange. How does Aki do it?"

The young lady shrugged her shoulders as she added more wood to the fire. It had been a month since she awoke from her supposed coma and for this whole period, her flames had always been this color. When she asked Ezzz if it had always been like that since she started to learn how to cook, the latter would only keep quiet before answering that he could not remember. Yet it was at the every time that she made the fire, the little boy would comment about the exact same thing.

"I guess it's just some sort of chemical reaction," she would then reply. "It would be fine as long as it does not result in any explosion."

Ezzz smiled and continued to gaze upon the fire, watching adoringly as the flames licked at the fuel wood hungrily. Like predator and prey, Aki noted, but showed no obvious reaction to it.

"FIRE!" yelled someone in a panicky tone as he ran passed. The two in the house immediately stood up and ran to the door. All they could see was people running towards the mountains, bringing whatever containers they could in their attempt to do their little bit. Mountains, Aki suddenly realized; that was where the mines and guys would be. Quickly, she doused the fire and hurried out of the house.

"Wait for Ezzz, Aki!"

"Stay home, it's too dangerous." Aki frowned when she saw the expression set on Ezzz's face- there was no way to persuade the boy. Sighing, she could only grab his small hand. "Let's hurry."

The journey towards the mine had not been smooth as the two had to squeeze to make their way there. People were running and yelling at the top of their lungs as they made their way to and fro, and from what Aki had gathered on her way there, the immense fire had been caused by a series of explosions. It suddenly struck her that this scene felt somewhat familiar, as the humans escaping had the same expression as a lamb in a slaughterhouse. Death; that was how it would have looked like. Freaked out by her own thoughts, Aki quickened her pace.

"Momo! Crack!"

Aki looked up to find two men covered in dirt and soot beaming down at the two of them. She did a quick scan over them for any sign of injuries and sighed with a satisfied tone when the report turned out blank. Ezzz was already hugging the two of them and sobbing loudly into their shirt. The whole place was in a mess, as if order was never in this people's dictionary before.

Then it struck her.

"Where- where is my brother?"

Crack frowned as he placed a big hand on the young lady's shoulder. He turned back to where thick smoke was coming from and sighed. "The dude went back to help out after pulling us out. He… Aki, wait!" he yelled, but she had already ignored part of his words and was running towards the mine. "Someone stop that crazy girl!"

Aki could feel her heart beating rapidly and painfully against her chest as her legs exceeded its limit to give its very best- her very best to find her only family, her brother. It did not matter at that moment of time how cold he had always treated her, how neglected she often felt and how much it made her worry every time she tried to bridge the gap between them. She wanted to yell, wanted to scream, wanted to cry, anything really, to bring back her brother. Brother, that name sounded so dear to her all of a sudden.

Please, please God, I'll give anything even if it means shortening my lifespan for him to be safe.

Tyki sighed in relief as he helped out the last miner of the disaster place- an old man with white wiry beard. While lives were nothing worthwhile and death a common sight to him as a Noah, he could not bear the sight of human dying as a human. Which is why being human is exhausting, he thought, as he surveyed his surroundings. Groups of people were huddled together, whether it was for comfort or for first-aid, and the rawest human emotions could be seen so evidently here. Then it struck him that he was without his friends. It took him quite some time as he walked around to spot the two and half a men. "Yo dudes," he smiled and smacked one of them on his back. "I'm back."

"Tyki damn," said Momo as his eyebrows furrowed. "You're here."

"I don't think that's the best way to welcome me back," complained Tyki as he took out his cigarette pack for a puff. The smoke curled up towards his jaw, like a snake rattling with danger. Yawning, the young man dusted his clothes, trying to get rid of the dirt and blood stuck on it. "There's got to be a better way."

"It's not that," yelled Ezzz as he grabbed onto the latter's arms, stopping him from keeping the pack back to his pocket. "Aki- Aki went in to find Tyki!"

Tyki felt his heart skipping a beat when the words penetrated his ears, each tail of the letters slicing him. His unlighted cigarette was dangling in between his lips when he tried to comprehend the situation. For now, a curse was all he could mutter. The young man was stunned momentarily before he began to charge back to where he came from.

He was freaking out and he hated it.

The smoke was thicker than it had been when he reached. Tyki's heart pounded harder with each step and it hurt his throat every time he yelled out her name. Those three letters, those two syllabuses, and that name: why had it concerned him so much? He cursed once again and spat on the ground.

-Boom

Another explosion happened barely seven metres away from him, sending debris and dust after him. Coughing, he tried to yell out her name louder and felt his mind giving way. This was how panic felt like, he realized. One of the worst emotions a human could exhibit. The dust conjured up by the explosion clouded his vision, making his eyes sting despite the thick glasses he donned on.

"Brother!"

The words yelled out seem to smooth his ears momentarily as Tyki felt himself landing on the ground all of the sudden with a weight on him. Yet before he could figure out his situation, the young man heard another explosion that attempted to split his ears. Waiting for some time while the dust settled down, Tyki then tried to make his way up again. He had to find her. He must.

"Are- are you alright?" said the soothing voice once again as the weight removed itself from him, allowing Tyki to crawl up. He was barely able to speak when he found something wrapping itself around him- something thin and warm. Strangely, Tyki felt his heartbeat slowing down, his mind no longer racing against the time and situation. Was it the voice that made him so?

"Hurry hurry, get in there and stop the fire!"

The smoke soon began to clear and the situation became clearer to him- the rescue operation team was finally here. The sight of his friends came to him like a car slicing through a mist and he realized that the many voices had been from the firefighters and them. Ezzz was smiling exuberantly as he ran towards the young man whom nodded his head in regard. Yet Tyki could not understand the worried expressions hanged on his two other friends' features. Frowning, they had both crossed their arms across their chest. What's the matter- he wanted to ask, but he knew the answer when he followed his friends' gaze which he found out were not on him.

It was on Aki.

She had been the one who pushed him away from the explosion and was the one who hugged him tightly during the confusion. Her arms were still tightly around him now, while her face was buried in his chest. She was crying silently, he realized. Sobbing as her body heaved up and down, she seemed unable to control her emotion. Awkward, his arms dangled by his side before wrapping itself around the girl too. With his head lowered and buried in her hair, he brought her closer to him and prayed for all these to end soon.

The crowd cheered in excitement once again, sending the performers bending their head in appreciation. The place was filled with colors and fun, with the red and yellow tent adding on to the happy atmosphere. Yet amidst the laughter and smiles, the young lady felt that she could not smile, or wanted to. It was sickening, she thought, to have those elephants standing on a leg and those lions being tamed by a whip. Moreover, those clowns were obviously in pain behind those painted faces as they hopped and jumped around the hoops and fire. Fire; how she wished to make it burn more intensely and bring this whole circus down to a pile of dust.

"Kaeda-chan," chided the low voice next to her as the person pulled her by the shoulder closer to him. "At least laugh when the rest do."

"It's disgusting," complained the young woman as she rolled her eyes. She stared intently at the young clown making his rounds around the tigers. "Are you sure that is the boy? He seems so young."

The man chuckled and patted her head. "Of course, it is. It did surprise me initially till I saw those silver-gray eyes. They held the same determination as his."

Kaeda sighed as she placed her head on the man's shoulder. "It's harsh then, this world. I pity that kid."

"It's the real world, my dear."

"Too cold for my liking," muttered the young lady. The child was now walking around with another man, his father perhaps.

"Burn it up then, Kaeda," laughed the man as he combed his free hand through his long crimson hair. "You're capable of doing that."

"Not without killing you," she hissed.

The man chuckled aloud, his voice drowned by applause from the audience. "Then do so, if your job requires it," he grinned and planted a small kiss on her cheek, under her eye. "Remember-"

"-Duty over desire," continued Kaeda as she observed an elephant losing its balance over the rod. She tried to lift up her head from the shoulder when she realized it was no longer there. The man next to her had disappeared out of the sudden as usual, leaving his yellow friend next to her. She patted him lazily and smiled.

However, it would only turned into flames once she touched it, and before she know it, the young lady's vision contained nothing but more and more blazing flames that threatened to torch her.

"No!" she yelled, as she found herself suddenly sitting up. Perspiration coated her skin by a thin layer and her panting was long and heavy. I was just dreaming, she comforted herself and got out of bed. Ezzz was still sleeping in the next bed and the moon was still up, she realized. Yet why is it so recurring?

Quietly, she turned the knob, opened the door and crept out of the room. Since the moon was still up, everyone would still be sleeping. However, a little light in the corner by the table caught her attention. Recognizing the shadowy figure, she called out his name softly and began to walk towards him.

Tyki turned to find his sister walking towards him in surprise. Sure, he had heard his name called out by her, but wasn't it supposed to be late in the night now? Cursing in his head, he quickly hid the object, along with his tools, into the drawer. "Hmm?" he asked, trying to conceal any suspicion or guilt he could have at that moment. "Why are you awake?"

Aki chuckled sheepishly and looked out of the window, admiring the night sky. "I couldn't sleep, that is."

"Let's take a walk around then," said Tyki, leading his sister out of the house as his friends continued to sleep soundly on the coach.

"Pretty, eh."

"What-" asked Tyki as he stopped along with Aki and followed her gaze. They had been unconsciously walking in synchronized steps and it was only when Aki had stopped in her track that they had taken a break since walking out of the house. "It is," he smiled as he too marveled at the structure- a small simple church that had been lit up splendidly by the moon light. The angle at which the light had been casted on reflected brilliantly and brought out the beauty of those plain but elegant painted glass windows.

"Let's go in," said Aki with an awestruck voice. Before he could answer, the young lady had already grabbed him by his elbow and dragged him into the building. As they walked the aisle down, she released her grip and headed straight for the candles ahead. He watched her as she lighted up one white candle with a satisfied grin engraved on her feature. He stared as the flame bent over in green before standing up again in orange… and the way the light danced off her features… the soft shadows… the heartwarming scene…

"Brother, brother-?"

Immediately, that broke his chain of thoughts. Embarrassed, he combed his fingers through his hair and attempted to take out his cigarette pack with the other hand- before remembering that smoking was frowned upon in a church. Not that he cared but something made him stop at spoiling the current atmosphere.

"Brother?!?"

"Yes, yes," he yawned and removed his hand from the pocket.

"What's the matter?" asked Aki as she stretched out her words to make sure he heard her. With a suspicion look in her eyes as she regarded her brother, Aki narrowed her lips "Would- you- like- to- light- up- a- candle- too-?"

Tyki shook his head and made his way to the rows of seat. "It's okay, I'll pass." He did not find it comfortable praying to a god he did not believe in, or to even light up a candle as it symbolize hope- something he had long lost his faith in. Life was too short for emotions like this. After all, he was not completely human too. He was not to indulge in silly things like this. Bemused by such thoughts, Tyki then moved to make space when he realized that Aki had come over to join him.

The two sat in silence initially, staring sometimes at the statue standing magnificently in front of them, observing at times at the rows of candles with their flame burning brightly and proudly. They exchanged words at small intervals of time, sometimes laughing at one comment or another, sometimes teasing each other. Had the night made them more comfortable with each other?

The moonlight was still visible from where they were, so both soon settled into silence once again and glanced up at the starlit sky.

"Brother," said Aki suddenly. Tyki looked down in surprise as her fingers touched his left hand. The touch, though soft, held so much worry and troubles, he realized. Aki was all silent again, as if something in her throat had caught her words.

"Yeah?" he asked gently too, afraid any sudden loudness would scare even the boldest bird- firecrest perhaps, away. The tone he had made make him felt like a completely different person.

"You are not really my brother, are you?"

Tyki glanced up at Aki almost immediately, stunned by her question. How did she-?

Aki jerked her head sideway, at an angle away from him. She laughed awkwardly. "I hope not, but yeah I was just joking…" Tyki felt Aki removing her fingers and shifting her gaze at her hands which were now placed both on her lap. At that moment, he felt only warmth and a certain sort of strangeness and yearning, as if he was a kid who had just experienced how chocolate melted on the tongue and now wanted more. Aki swallowed something hard in her throat when she noticed how silent Tyki had gone. "Do tell me the truth, alright?"

How did she manage to figure out?

Tyki tried to dig his brains for answers, any so as long as he would be able to continue the lie, anything really. Then it came to him that he was unable to continue the deception. Moving his hand towards her, he took hold of one of them, before pressing it onto the space of chair between them, covering her small smooth hand with his large callused one. Words then flowed smoothly out like water in a calm stream, as the heat exchanged between their hands warmed up better than the flickering flames ahead.

He wondered that night as they made their way back, if this was how living life without deception and masks was to feel like, how love, was to be.